Original subtitles

Hey. Ooh, them is tight.

What you reading, Uncle Frank?

Your face.

And it tells me you want something.

All right, all right. You got me.

All right, Dorn. What do you need?

My own apartment.

But I settled for permission to take care of Mr. Joy's puppy this weekend.

headed out to San Diego to go kick it with his girlfriend.

Girlfriend? Well, what about his wife?

Oh, she's going, too. I guess they wild like that.

So can I keep the dog for him? Look, Dorian, caring for a pet is like caring

a child, son. Trust me, it's a whole lot of work.

I love you too, Dad.

Come on, Uncle Frank, Frisky is well trained.

Yeah, but you're not.

You're probably going to have me walking him and feeding him and cleaning up

after him. And you won't have to lift a finger. I'm more worried about him

lifting his leg.

I'll only be taking care of Frisky for a couple days. No, I don't think so.

But Mr. Jones needs my help. Well, I'm sorry, Dorian, but Mr. Jones is going to

have to make other arrangements.

And he's taking me down 200 bucks, so you won't even have to buy me those Air

Jordans. Oh, well, in that case, keep them off the furniture out of the living

room and out of my way.

I realize my best friend's always on my

mind. You're gonna be down, come on.

Gotta do what I gotta do.

It's such a good way to study, okay? Because I'm getting so much out of it.

Well, Niecy, we all could if you could just be quiet for a minute.

Am I talking a lot? Okay, I'm sorry, you guys. My lips are sealed. I am silent,

quiet, mute, speechless, honey. I have nothing else to... Niecy.

Okay.

But, Akeem, you're going to cover Chapter 7 on... Oh, I know, the

basis of behavior.

Well, thank you, Energizer Bunny.

At least she talk all she wants, just like watching her lips move.

Your eyes must be pretty tired, because she hasn't shut up since we got here.

Guys, I'm so sorry. I just have so much energy.

We know. What do you want, drugs?

Yeah.

What?

Oh, well, not drugs, drugs, Mo.

Vitamins. Yeah, see, I've been taking them to boost my energy.

Oh, how came? Did I cut you off? You were saying something.

Who knows? I got so caught up with your babbling, I lost my thought.

Oh, no, no, no. You didn't lose it.

He probably just got real lonely and left.

Anyway, according to this, there are several behavioral pathologies that are

called a bond.

Domino.

You've been putting in some pretty long hours.

You sure you don't need to go get some sleep?

I'm cold. Just keep going.

I think maybe you should go.

Maybe that'll help you stay awake.

Okay. Okay.

Freud says the components of consciousness are the id, the ego, and

superhero.

Superhero? I could flunk by myself, blunder woman.

You know, Mom,

girl, between planning for this party and studying for this midterm and

your dad out while Dee's been gone, man, you're working yourself.

I'll be okay. I just need to get some more sleep.

Well, you could if you weren't on the phone with Q all night.

Yeah, she's right. You need to stop talking to him.

No, you need to stop dipping in her business.

Well, you can get in my business any time you want, because ain't no business

like when we love business.

And I bet it's a very small business.

Well, you guys, I really think we can get some more work done.

You know, Mom, you need those vitamins even more than I did.

Mm -hmm.

See, I'm going to call Professor LeCount. See, he's developed an

treatment for a UFF.

Never heard of it.

Undergraduate fatigue syndrome?

Girl, you got it. I'll pass.

Thanks. No, Mom, I am telling you, girl, these vitamins work, okay? Plus, he

pays $5 a day for a 30 -day trial.

Oh, that's great, Niecy. Yeah, just two years of college. You graduated from a

hood rat to a lab rat.

Good morning, son.

Hey, another day, another dollar, huh?

Uh, talk to me about that when you get a job.

Come on, Frisky.

Hey.

Hey. Hey, what's up? Sit, Frisky. Sit.

This is Frisky? I thought you said he was a puppy.

Looks like he ate a puppy.

Nah, he's a cool dog. Watch this.

Yo, give me a pound, Frisky. Give me a pound.

Give me a pound. Yeah.

Now, lie down.

Now, eat mouth. Hey!

No, I'm just kidding.

He's a friendly dog.

Yeah, well, he is kind of cute.

For a bulldog.

Look, I got to get out of here. Now, Miles, don't forget to do your chores.

Dorian, don't let that dog tear up my house.

All right.

Frisky.

Hey, Miles, watch this.

Murda.

Hey.

Oh, that's cool. Now, make him stop.

All right.

Button it.

I thought I was going to have to put a little frisky in the hair lock.

Yeah, and I was about to break out the pooper scooper for you.

Dang, Mo.

You were only supposed to cover chapter nine. You summarized the whole book.

Woo, ain't mad at you, Mo.

Now we don't need a study group to pass the midterm.

although I still could use a cheat sheet.

That's why today we're going to start prepping for the finals. What are you

talking about? Finals are five weeks away. So we better get busy.

Ooh, girls, slow down, Mo. They can't keep up with us.

Girl, I guess you're right, because I've only been taking those vitamins for a

day, and already I feel revitalized, rejuvenated, and invigorated. All right,

girl, I told you.

Listen, are you wearing a little mustache?

Yours is thicker than mine.

What's your secret?

See, Hakeem, that's how much you know. In some countries, a lady's mustache is

considered thick.

Will you go to one of those countries and leave me alone?

Yo, man, since we got a fight going on, man, I think I'm gonna head home.

Uh -uh.

We got other classes to study for.

But this is our only class together.

What?

You know what you got? A trifling.

Quitters, just straight lazy. Mo, Mo, we've been hitting the books for three

days. We're tired.

Joe, you tired. You lazy worthless excuse.

Girl,

it's all right. Let him go.

Okay, but we still got party stuff to do anyway.

All right.

All right, go home.

Get out, you slackers.

Hey, do you know how to grip you up like this? You see them push me on the

couch.

What's up?

Oh, nothing. Never mind.

I'm going to go shave my legs.

Dang, didn't you shave your legs this morning?

Yeah, but it seems like every few hours some more hair creeps back up.

Maybe it's hormonal.

Yeah, well, it has been a while.

Oh.

Frisky's gonna need to walk by 10, and you might want to fill up his water

Where do you think you going?

Over to Tasha's house. She's having a Halloween party. Oh, boy.

Where you going now, ugly man?

I'm gonna let that slide and save all my energy for Tasha.

Man, you better dress up like a kangaroo and put Frisky in your pouch, because I

ain't the one.

You know, I'm too clean to give you a beatdown, so how about I just give you

$10?

$10? Man, you making $200.

make me think him on me. Man, I'm not scared of that talk.

Oh, you're not scared?

Murder!

All right, man, $10 is cool.

All right, come on, man, stop playing. Tell him to come in. All right, all

right, all right.

Sponge.

Uh, uh, uh, Spoof.

that command.

Don't get the phone. Uh -uh, man.

I ain't doing it. What do you mean? You scared or something? Man, you can paint

me yellow and cover me with feathers, but I ain't going over there.

All right, man. Get out of my way.

cheap to buy a real costume?

What? Who are you supposed to be? Beauty and the Beast?

Very funny, Hakeem. I'm Mariah Carey. Yeah, maybe Mariah's scary.

Better not drop a crumb. You hear me?

Hey, need to come up here so we can pretend like the people, train,

I can't get her down from there before she hurts herself. Okay, she is not a

train dancer like I am.

Get down.

But,

but, but, Moesha, get down from there. What are you doing?

Oh, Jamie.

It is about time you learn how to take control.

What are you talking about? I am talking about you, Matrix Man. Now, what am I

going to have to do? to get you to come trick -or -treating in my room tonight.

Well, just the other day you was telling me how happy you are with Q.

Do you think you... Well, no.

Well, then kick me, you animal.

Because I've been a very bad, bad...

You didn't drink that punch I got for Niecy, did you?

Boy, please, there is no punch in the world that would make somebody want

Hakeem. Whatever, Fuzzy.

Anyways, Mo, did you do anything different?

Not that I can think of.

Well, what about those vitamins?

Niecy, we've both been taking them, and how come I'm the only one getting side

effects?

Oh.

Yeah, but instead of mutating like Niecy, you turned into Sister Mary

brother.

We have to call Professor LeCounter, right?

Maybe he can tell us how to stop this.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Because I'm getting razor bumps.

Oh, dang.

What? Well, I mean, it's the weekend. I can't get in touch with him until

Monday. Monday?

Lisa, you must be crazy. I can't stay around here all weekend acting like

Oh, that's cool, Mom. I'll just take you to your dad's house. You'll be safer

there. We're going to drop you off at the zoo. You'll be right at home.

We can stay in.

Come here.

Let me run my fingers through your back.

Everybody out.

Come on, go.

Go on, sister.

Man,

what good is a window if it won't open?

We're trapped.

We're going to starve in here.

How about I jump onto the counter, over his head to the front door, and then,

boom, I run out and leave it open for you?

What if you don't make it?

All right, that's not a good plan.

Okay, how about we dig a tunnel into the kitchen?

Man, look at yourself.

Worked up all over a dog.

Looks like I'm going to have to show this mutt who's the boss.

What's my name?

I'd do my 200 if I did that.

Who is that?

Dorian Miles.

Why didn't you guys answer the phone? I was calling the check on you.

Oh, hi, Frisky.

Well,

maybe he's just hungry.

Yeah, for us.

I think I have a granola bar in my pocket.

Let's see if this makes the little guy happy.

Frisbee.

There it is. You see, guys? He just needed something in his tummy.

He played you, Uncle Frank.

Well, how did he get so vicious?

Well, I was showing Miles the command that made him growl, but I forgot the

that made him stop.

Dorian, how could you be so irresponsible?

Me? You're the one who let me bring him in here. What were you thinking?

There's got to be something else we can do besides sit here and point the

finger.

Hey, wait a minute.

What if we... Nah, he'd swallow Miles whole.

You know, I laugh, but I have to use the bathroom.

Hello?

Hello, where is everybody?

Yo, Mo, we're here.

No, Mo, don't come into the kitchen.

What are y 'all doing up there? Run, Mo, save yourself.

Excuse me, are you barking at me?

You growling at me?

No, no, I'm just checking out this amoeba. It's amazing the way it mutates.

sorry, that's just spit.

How are you doing, Moishe?

Oh!

Mercy.

We think something has gone wrong with the vitamins that you've given us.

Is this from the vitamins?

Yes. I didn't recognize you, child. I'm sorry.

Well, well, let's look at the good side.

Sometimes in science, what we try to do becomes even a greater thing. Like, for

example... There was a great inventor named David Brian Atkins who was trying

develop a better strain of charcoal to barbecue with. And he was developing the

charcoal, and he dropped it on the ground.

Now, he was also known for stinky feet.

And he stepped in the charcoal, and it sucked the funk right off his feet.

Look, you have to help us, okay? Something in these pills isn't right,

Professor. Duh.

Bring him in.

Professor, look what I did. Okay, this used to be a dog.

Can you fix him up?

Well, no, he's jacked up.

Excuse me, can we forget about the dog, okay? I mean, everybody look at me.

Okay, I'm a primate, a Sasquatch, a life -size Furby.

Well, no, if you understood biology, you're more like a wildebeest.

Hold on, y 'all.

Niecy, that's not a costume.

Wait a minute.

I know you from somewhere.

Yeah, you look kind of familiar, too.

The Backstreet Boys.

Not me.

Not me.

Let me check my notes.

This is so real. It's so nappy.

Well, Moesha, according to this, you're in the control group.

All you got was a placebo.

A placebo?

What's that?

Well, that's a... Instead of getting the vitamins, you got a sugar tablet.

Which means nothing should have happened to you.

Unless, of course... from my psychology 101 junior college.

What could have happened is you had repressed feelings that had been laying

dormant in your body like a volcano, trying to rise.

But something happened, and poof, they come to the surface.

Nuh -uh.

Wait a minute.

So you're saying that when she threw herself at me and invited me to her

bedroom, that was real?

No, it wasn't, all right? It was stress.

Tell him, Professor.

I said tell him!

I'm just about... I'm a biology teacher. I do not teach the acting class, so I

can't help you with your drama, okay?

Wait a minute.

Forget them, okay? Now, what about me? Now, my problems are physical.

Well, what we could do is, I have a shot I could give you, but it would take

seven to ten a month to take care of that.

Oh, Professor, I need something now.

Well, I think I have something here. I haven't used this in a while. See, he

something.

nothing should have happened to you.

Unless, of course, I've seen it at black family reunions.

There's repressed feelings that haven't been dealt with.

You get around people you haven't seen in a while, they're drinking, it's

alcohol, it's crazy, and this comes to the top.

Nuh -uh.