Original subtitles

This guy can't dance.

What?

This guy can't dance.

Huh? He can't dance.

Oh, he can't dance?

Uh, no. I said he had nice pants.

Excuse me. Yeah?

Um, is anybody sitting here?

No, not at all.

Thank you.

Hey, Teresa.

Hey, girl. You look great.

Yeah. Is that the new dress?

Yeah. And your hair.

It looks good up.

Sure. This party's grand.

Yeah. Yo, and that's the cut. Yo, could you hold my drink?

Hey, girl, that was the jam.

Music's really good, but I'm so glad you guys are back because now I have

someone to talk to. We'll go right after this jam. Okay.

I miss you, too.

I think about you all the time.

Hey! Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I gotta go.

I love you, too.

Hey, now. Love connection.

Goodbye, Grandma.

For every girl.

My five must have been stuck in traffic.

You left too early. The party didn't get going on until around midnight. I left

at two.

Oh.

You know, I don't get L .A.

At least when Alaskans give you the cold shoulder, they have a reason. Their

shoulders are cold.

Girl, stop exaggerating. I saw you talking to that cutie at the counter.

That was the waiter, and he was seeing if I was finished with my drink.

Well, you know, at first, everybody has one bad night.

It's been the same thing for a week.

Ellie's all about having the right car and the right clothes and the right

plastic surgeon.

Yep, I feel what you think.

Do you really?

Have you ever sat at a party for hours being completely ignored?

Well, I'm not really... Thank you.

Teresa, are you mad at me?

No.

No, I'm... I'm just mad because when I paged my grandma, even she was on a

Yeah. Hey, good night.

Good night.

I could beat you with one hand.

No hands.

One foot.

All right, man, one more game. This time I'm going to beat you.

Please, man, you can't beat me. You drive like an old woman.

No, no, no, worse than an old woman.

You drive like your dad.

All right, man, after I beat you, you're going to be calling me dad.

Well, if you think that, you as crazy as he is.

All right. Man, let's just stop talking about my dad.

Oh, are you getting sensitive because I'm talking about your daddy?

Are you done?

Yeah, yeah.

Then let's play.

I mean, I'm done talking about your dad.

But now, let me say a few words about my trifling, no -good, lying father.

Oh, wait a minute.

That's the same guy.

Same guy.

Look, man, I said shut up.

What are you going to do?

What are you going to do?

Just like I thought.

You are talking, no action.

Just like Frank.

I'm bleeding.

So now... Hey, hey, what's going on? What happened to you?

I ran into the door.

Are you okay, Dorian? Yeah, I'm cool.

Here, let me take a look at it. Ow, get off of me.

Come on, I'll take you to the emergency room.

Now, look, you don't have to take me anywhere.

It might be broken.

I don't care. Just leave me alone.

All right.

You want to walk around smelling sideways.

Let's go.

I'll call you. All right.

Mile?

Huh?

What really happened to Dorian's nose?

I punched him.

When you're ready to tell me the truth, I'll be ready to listen.

Now, I'm a little concerned about Teresa.

Just now getting concerned?

She's been strange since she got here.

Yeah, but a good strange. I mean, at first when she came, she was all bubbly

energetic. Now she's so quiet and with a drum.

And that's a problem.

Yes, Lucy.

People with hearts understand that.

a heart because your roommate finally shut up?

Well, maybe I don't want a heart. I mean, I'm not the tin man.

Maybe I don't want to get the eyes.

Maybe I'm happy right here in Quietville.

We gonna make that your last cup of coffee.

Mo, Lacey, this is Noel.

Hey, how are you? And we're getting killed in philosophy.

Philosophy? Yeah. Well, you should just do what I did. Yeah, what's that? Drop

the class.

To your information, Mo, I withdrew.

So, Noel, what's your major?

Psychology. Oh. Yeah, I really want to work with troubled youth. Oh, so you're

hanging out with Hakeem for extra credit.

Hey, Niecy, your village called, and they missed their idiot.

Child psychology. And so you must really like children.

Yeah, and he really likes women. Because women like him.

What are you talking about?

Oh, come on, man. You know that's the only reason why you joined that

of women's class. No, man. Look, on the real, I joined the class to try to

understand women better.

Look, I'm going to do it. You don't have to lie. It's just more than easy.

Oh, man, I'm serious.

Look, it's an interesting class.

Right now, we're learning that women are more comfortable with their emotions,

whereas men retreat to logic to protect themselves from their emotions.

You know, I believe that.

That is so insightful.

You should take notes, huh, King?

Yeah, I am. I'm using that at the club tonight.

You know what, Noel? I really like the way you think.

I have a great idea.

Yeah, what is it? You and my roommate should go out on a date.

No, I'm not your roommate.

You know I'm not talking about you.

Anyway, her name is Teresa, and she's from Alaska.

And if you've been having trouble meeting people, man, you seem like a

cool guy.

We'd be really great if you could take her out and show her a good time.

Is she nice? Is she nice? Don't you mean how does she look?

No, man, I mean, is she nice? You know, is she smart?

Yeah, I just, uh, I believe in getting to know a woman's mind.

Well, yes, Teresa is very nice and smart.

Then I'm game, yeah.

I don't know how true that is.

Look, Teresa's supposed to meet us here any minute now, and I want her to think

this is real, so why don't you guys sit at another table, and when she comes in,

you come over, introduce yourself, and ask her out.

Yo, man, is she always this controlled?

Only when she's away.

We better grab another table.

We?

I think I found my table.

You didn't get shot.

I'm tired of L .A. smog, of L .A. prices, of L .A. traffic, of L .A. men.

excuse me. Is anybody sitting here? No. Go ahead. Take the chair.

Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I just couldn't stand over there and hear

dog my town like that.

Um, I'm sorry. I didn't know.

No, look, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you haven't seen all the cool things about L .A.

Hey, if you'd let me, maybe I can show you sometime.

Are you serious?

Yeah. In fact, I can probably get us a new Laker game tonight.

I mean, if you don't mind, if I'm an offense.

Wait a minute. I don't even know you.

My name's Noel.

Okay, what time are you picking me up?

How about 6 o 'clock?

Fantastic.

I'm in Bradley Hall, room B -102.

Okay, great.

I'll see you tonight.

Yeah.

Teresa. Teresa.

Yeah. Great.

We've been here for over an hour. They just rushed that fat lady right in.

Dorian, she was in labor.

Okay.

Which one of you has the bloody nose?

Take a wild guess.

Oh.

Hostility is not a virtue, dude.

Wait a minute. We've been waiting here for over an hour. Now, my son bumped

something, and I'm afraid his nose might be broken.

Oh, he broke his own nose?

Would you like to talk to me with your dad out of the room?

Look, he's not my dad.

Well, then why are you protecting him?

Look, look, my son is in need of attention, all right? Now, how long

can see a doctor?

Whoever you are, dude, you'll have to talk to somebody who works here.

Well, who are you?

I'm Robbie.

And you don't work here?

I'm just kidding, man.

Fill this out.

My blood type.

Allergic reaction.

How am I supposed to know this?

Gotta call my mom.

No, no, no. Here, let me look at it.

Yeah, first of all, your blood type is O.

And you do have an allergic reaction to penicillin.

You can't make this stuff up. I could die.

Yeah, you almost did.

You're about five months old and burning with fever.

Sandy and I had to rush you to the hospital, and that's when we found out

hard way you're allergic to penicillin.

That was one of the worst nights of my life.

Okay, no major surgeries?

How do you know so much about me?

I'm your father, Dorian.

Now, look, just because I didn't see you every day didn't mean that I didn't

care.

No, I guess it means you just care about your other kids more.

Don't worry.

You're here with me now.

And we're going to work through this, all right?

You don't even get it, Uncle Frank.

Just leave me alone.

No.

I'm not going to make that mistake again, huh?

game was so much fun.

I cannot believe Kobe waved at me. I cannot believe you screamed out that you

wanted to have his baby.

I was trying to get his attention.

Yeah, I think you got a lot of people's attention, including that security guard

that I had to pull off you.

Yeah, thanks for protecting me. She was kind of tough. Oh, yeah.

I had a good time.

Yeah, me too.

You know, I didn't know that much about basketball before, but now I think I...

Sorry, I just, I really wanted to do that.

You're forgiven.

Okay, so, um, I'll see you next weekend, right?

I hope I can wait that long.

Oh, um, all right, uh, good night.

I cannot begin to describe the time I had. It was beautiful. It was amazing.

was perfect.

Girl, all would say perfect any day. So tell me all about Noel. Well, he's

funny, and he's a great kisser, and he's a Leo. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up a

little bit. He's a Leo. A little more. He's a great kisser. That's the one.

He kissed me.

He's the most romantic guy I've ever met.

He said all those things that a woman wants to hear.

And that was only on the first date.

Imagine what's going to happen on the second date.

Second date?

Yeah. His roommate's going to be out of town next weekend, so Noelle invited me

over to hang out.

In his room?

Yeah.

Isn't that fantastic?

It must be fate.

You know the way he just came right up to me and asked me out and he didn't

know me?

This is the start of something very, very special.

degrees is caused to bust out the suntan oil.

Where is Dillingham, Alaska?

It's in the extreme northern end of Nushegak Bay.

Oh, yeah.

Excuse me, I'll be right back.

Thank you.

Yo, man, I like her. Yeah, she's good people.

Hi, Moesha.

Don't hi, Moesha me.

Why is he trying to get over on my roommate?

What do you mean, get over on? Don't act like you don't know. She told me all

about it. No,

he's the one who needs to chill. He's the one filling her mind with all that

psychobabble, making Teresa believe that he really likes her just so he can get

her up to his room and hit it. Look, where's this coming from? You're the one

who asked me to show her a good time.

Yeah, I said show her a good time, not a good time.

Not now, Hakeem. I am not through with Dr.

Ruthless. I asked you to take Teresa out to boost up her confidence, not to

break her heart.

Every week, we put you out.

So this was just all a big setup?

Teresa, look, let me explain. Why?

I heard you loud and clear, and congratulations, my confidence is

roof. But, Teresa, look, that's not what I meant. No.

I hope you all had a good laugh at my expense.

No, no, Teresa, it wasn't right.

She must have said it went well.

Because if she didn't, we got issues.

You know this is all your fault, right?

I didn't do anything wrong, Moesha. Oh, so messing up Teresa's head by making

out with her in the hallway wasn't wrong? Ooh, making out with her. See,

tells me anything.

And don't you have enough notches on your headboard without trying to take

advantage of poor Teresa? Oh, come on, Mo. You know Noel's not like that. Oh,

you said it yourself. He's a player. But, Mo. I was exaggerating.

Like when I said Niecy looks good in a miniskirt.

Hey, I'm standing here minding my business, okay? When did this become

Niecy, it's not about you. It's about Noel.

And you know you really don't like Teresa.

How much do you like her, Marisha?

When you can't even believe that someone would be attracted to her.

So, uh...

Does this mean that Noel's available?

Why are you packing? I'm not talking to you. You just did.

Well, starting now.

Teresa, you can't do this. Why not? Because, first of all, that's my scarf.

Okay, look, maybe I shouldn't have set you up. But guess what? I found out that

Noel really does like you. Even if I believed you and I don't, why do you

so shocked? I'm not shocked. I'm just... Just surprised.

Why? Huh?

Well, I don't know, because, uh, you know what?

Surprised is the wrong word. Then what is the right word?

All right, look, we both know that Noel is a very attractive guy, and a lot of

women want to get with him. And?

And you said it yourself.

L .A. guys are superficial.

Just say it, Moesha.

You don't think he'd go for a girl like me. I just said it. No.

But that's what you meant.

Hello? Yes, yes, she's right here. It's Noel for you.

How'd you do that?

Because I don't take pity calls.

And, Moesha, as of right now, I'm never, ever speaking to you again.

Where you been, Miles?

Me? I've been around.

The time's up. You can run, but you can't hide.

Oh, help me.

Help.

Okay, man, before you kill me, at least let me explain.

What? Okay.

I mean, I didn't mean to break your nose, man. I mean, look at me. Who knew

packed such a powerful punch?

You don't.

And my nose is fine, and so am I.

And I'm still the lady's love.

Yeah. Man, you fine, man. You fine.

Look, man, I'm sorry.

But the things you were saying about my dad, man... Look, forget about it, man.

Forget about it.

I know I still have beef with your dad, but dogging him out in front of you,

that's over.

You know, Savvy is sure my brother, because you thought pretty good right

Yeah, I got you good, huh?

I mean, you know, you threw a little jab, and then you got up. You just broke

your arms in the face, just eating and crying all over.

Nothing?

For Star Stylist's first challenge, the fighting fashionistas faced off by

bringing their zodiac signs to life.

Rita, look, I know that you're a little upset with me right now. Thanks for

reminding me why I'm packing.

Look, I can't let you leave without you hearing me out.

Fine.

Look, when you said the L .A. people were superficial, I guess I didn't

how much that applied to me.

And I'm really sorry for assuming that Noel was just as messed up as I was.

So could you please stay and give me one chance to prove to you that I've

learned something from this?

I'm happy you said that.

Because I had no place to go.

So we're cool?

Yes. If you promise never to interfere in my love life again.

Okay, deal. Okay.

After I do this one little last thing.

Let's go.

Um,

Trita, do you want to go for a walk?

Sure. You know what? I know this really romantic place on campus, but you know

what? Then again, it's none of my business.