Original subtitles

I always knew that college would give me an academic education, but it's the

social education that I'm finding so overwhelming.

At this age, you think you know what you're for and what you're against.

It's not until you're forced to take a stand that you can get a little shaky.

Sometimes, I wish everything would just stop.

You're gonna be down. Come on.

for pajamas?

That was lingerie.

Oh. Well, that goes under entertainment.

Hey. Hey, Mom.

What's the matter, Niecy?

Just a big old failure.

Oh, come on, Niecy. You're not old.

She's just being dramatic because she got a C on her biology test.

Oh, come on, Niecy. Look, every college freshman does badly on at least one

test. Now, don't be too hard on yourself.

Yeah, but I have to maintain a B average to keep my scholarship.

Oh, well, you better get your head off the table and into a book.

I'm sure you'll do better on the next test, Niecy. Sure.

Sweetheart, can I talk to you in the living room, please? Yeah.

Oh, look, I know you're feeling a little down, so I'm going to give you a couple

words of inspiration, all right?

Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?

Oh.

Stacy, why are you tripping? You are doing fine in history.

Yeah, you're right.

I'll probably get an A from Professor Ward. He makes his class fun. I know.

College is about more than just having fun.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm about to go shoot some pool with my study group.

I can't believe I was clowned by a key.

About school.

All right, boy, I'll call you later.

Are you pushing up on my woman?

Don't you see me standing here? You know I didn't.

You must have been standing sideways.

What's wrong with my sweet niece?

You know, I thought I had hit rock bottom.

But now I just want to hit you.

Corian, leave her alone. Don't you see that she's having a nervous breakdown?

What's it going to take to break you down?

More than what you will ever have.

Yes. Good idea.

Wally, could you go outside and let me know if the street lights are on?

You can see that from here.

Uh, she means the ones near your house.

I see the situation.

Uh, can you see the door?

Later, D -Money.

What?

What's up, Uncle Frank and Aunt D?

Have I told you guys lately how much I appreciate you taking me in?

Have I told you that I spoke with Mrs. Oliver and she told me that you were not

in her class today?

I was there.

She probably just didn't see me. You know she only has one good eye.

Well, what about Mr. Jennings?

Does he have vision problems, too?

Probably. Have you seen how he dresses?

Well, he told me that you cut his class three days in a row.

Where you been doing?

Look, boy, don't make me have to ask you twice.

Okay, okay.

All right.

But it's embarrassing.

Embarrassing? It better be life -threatening.

It kind of is.

There's a guy at school that's been stepping to me, trying to start a fight.

Dorian, why didn't you say something? You know you could have come to me.

I'm telling the vice principal it's only going to make things worse.

Look, I'm new here.

If I look like I can't handle myself, everybody will want to pick on me. So

decided to skip class?

Only the classes with him.

Dorian, that's it. Tomorrow you're going to point him out and we'll just settle

this. Please, Auntie D, don't worry about it. Look, pretty soon he'll forget

about me. You know most thugs don't have a very long attention span.

I promise.

If anything else happens, I'll come straight to your office.

All right, Dorian.

We'll try it your way.

But if you miss one more class, we're going to do it our way. Mm -hmm.

This is what they call tough love.

I like it.

There's nothing more to say about Bull Run, Antietam, or Gettysburg.

So, in conclusion... I will summarize with this final statement. Take note,

is the author's clever way of telling us he's near the end. It's about time.

Yes, the pain's almost over.

There is no such thing as a civil war because war, spelled backwards, is raw.

The end.

The paper you just heard was without a doubt the worst I've ever read.

That's including the National Enquirer.

And it was written by someone in this room.

Oh, don't look at me.

Can anybody tell me what was wrong with it?

They, uh, turned it in.

Ah, but the budding young scholar showed courage. He put his name on it.

Anybody else?

It kind of rambled. And the thesis, if you can call it that, was only supported

by a weak joke.

That hurt.

Good thing I kept my day job, huh?

You wrote that paper?

I liked it.

Then maybe you'll get the same grade that I did.

Oh, it wasn't all that.

Oh, now that you all know what not to do, I expect your paper to be

substantially better than mine.

So, everybody pick a partner.

Make sure it's someone you like because you'll be spending long hours together.

And remember, this paper is 50 % of your grades, so choose your partners wisely.

And I know you all want to get an A, but don't everyone try to be partners with

Lisa Chin.

I see my homegirls in the front row have already hooked up.

Why do we have to be homegirls? Well, Mo, we are homegirls. But not his

homegirls. You guys still here?

Go! Have fun! You're in college, for God's sakes.

Oh, uh, just have chapters 12 through 15 read by Friday.

Bam! Viva and Frank House!

All right, now, whose house is it?

Dee's house.

Oh, don't be bitter, son.

You're just one of many who have fallen before the mighty Frank Mitchell.

Bones of my business.

Oh, yeah, Dad.

You're the man.

Can I go now? Oh.

Hey, fellas, come on in. Hey, dominoes. Yeah, Miles just taught me how to play.

What a coincidence.

Dorian just taught me how to play.

Oh.

Well, you care for a little game?

Certainly. I have the shuffle of Mr. Mitchell. Oh, no, no, no, please.

Call me the Grim Reaper, because I'm about to rattle some bones.

Well, you can call me nice, because I'm definitely about to win. Oh, come on

with it.

So, Dorian, any problems at school today?

Oh, no, it was cool, Uncle Frank. Oh, so that young man's not trying to pick any

fights with you, huh?

What? Somebody giving you binky money?

Yeah, but I didn't want to tell you, because I know how crazy you get.

And that's for real.

Nobody gets the deep money without going through nice.

You heard.

Uh, yeah. You done?

Uh, Dorian, you sure everything's good?

I'm positive.

But thanks for asking, Uncle Frank. All right.

Hey, guys.

So how was school today?

It was all right, Miss Mitchell. Except this girl, LaVon.

She keeps sweating me.

Nice. She was talking to me. LaVon?

No, Aunt Dee.

That's LaVon.

You're my boy, but she's a girl. You know what I'm saying.

All right.

I take a rain check, Mr. Mitchell. All right, nice.

All right. You take care now.

So, Dorian, would you mind telling me some more about this bully?

Why? I thought you said you would let me handle it. Well, it's just that I spoke

to a couple of your classmates and teachers, and nobody noticed anybody

bothering you.

So I'm lying? Is that what you're saying?

I never said you were lying.

Yeah, well, you didn't have to.

No one ever believes me.

If you don't mind, I'm going to go upstairs and do my homework.

But you probably don't believe that either.

Now, I know he doesn't think he just played us.

The funny thing is, baby, he does.

Of course, we've seen this act played out before.

I refer you to the book of Moesha.

Chapter 11, verses 4 through 13.

But something tells me this chapter needs a footnote.

All right,

time's up.

No more random guessing, coin flipping, or eeny, meeny, miny, moeing.

Hand them down.

Now, you could have told somebody we were having a surprise quiz.

Bet you your grade won't be a surprise.

Oprah will be.

This isn't a talk show.

Save it for after class.

Okay.

If I have everybody's book, send class to Smith. See you next time.

Girl, I can't believe he just called you Whoopi.

You know, I know he's joking, but somebody needs to let him know that his

aren't always funny.

Oh, come on. I gotta get a good grade in this class. I mean, can't you just

leave a note in the suggestion box?

Excuse me, Professor.

Yes, Moesha, what can I do for you?

You know, these past couple of classes, you've made some comments that some

people might find offensive.

Like a little while ago when you called us Oprah and Whoopi.

I mean, you may have meant it as a joke, but it really made me feel

uncomfortable. Oh, I understand. I guess I wasn't being politically correct.

It's not about being politically correct.

It's just about being correct.

Oh, relax, Moesha.

You people are way too sensitive.

I'll back you.

Mo, you shot him.

Yeah.

No, I mean, he said we're too sensitive.

I mean, it's just his opinion.

Lacey, where is your outrage?

He passed judgment on a whole group of people. Our people.

Mo, I'm just trying to pass a class.

His class.

There is more at stake here than just your grade.

Yeah, I know. There's my scholarship, my future, and my student discounted

raging waters.

Junk if you want to, but he insulted you.

Me and all black people. Don't you understand the implications of that?

Of course I do.

But, I mean, what are you going to do about it? March into the dean's office

accuse a man of being a racist?

I mean, come on, Mo. It's your word against his.

But at least he'll be exposed.

Yeah, and we'll be at his mercy.

I mean, remember, we're about to turn in a paper worth half our grade. And the

paper will be good. Our work will stand on its own.

Mo, do you really think he'll give us the grade we deserve if you call him a

racist?

The rest of us will have to think.

I have to maintain a B average to keep my scholarship.

Okay, I have dreams that go way beyond this class, and what one professor

of you, me, or anybody.

You see, nobody's trying to take your dreams away.

Yeah, but, Mo, if you make Professor Ward angry, and he flunks us, I'll have

drop out of school.

Okay, my father doesn't own a dealership like your dad.

He can't afford to pay my tuition.

So you just want me to drop the whole thing?

Oh, Mo, just postpone it till after we graduate.

There you are.

Ooh, that looks way too expensive. Don't you have something I can break, crack,

or scratch?

I did, but I think it's still at your house.

Yo, yo, did anybody call for me or about me or anything like that?

No.

Good.

Because I wasn't expecting a call.

and go upstairs and clean up my room.

I see you got your hands full. I'm just going to take what I need and go.

Can you get the door?

Thank you, Dee.

Bye -bye, Angel.

Dee, what's wrong with Dorian? Did something happen at school?

I don't know, but he was hit with a sudden urge to clean.

I wonder what that boy's up to.

Maybe we should go find out.

Frank Mitchell?

Yes, how can I help you?

My name is David Perry, and this is my daughter, Chanel.

I'd like to talk to you about your nephew, Dorian.

Come on in, Mr. Perry, please.

Dorian, turn that thing off and get down here.

Hi, I'm Dee Mitchell. Can I get you two something to drink?

We're fine, thanks.

Chanel, hi.

Long time no see.

When I got home from work this afternoon, I caught Chanel and Dorian in

bedroom.

That is, I would have caught them if he hadn't jumped out the window.

Daddy, I told you we were just studying. Chanel, fortunately for your nephew,

they were still in their clothes when I got home.

Have you lost your mind?

If I had been another 10 or 15 minutes, who knows what would have happened?

Oh, no, nothing was going to happen, Mr. Perry.

Look, you raised your daughter right.

Mr. Perry, I really don't know what to say. I'm so sorry.

Look, I have a daughter of my own. There's more.

As it turns out, Chanel has been cutting school to be with Dorian.

Apparently, they've been spending afternoons at our house while my wife

are still at work.

Again,

Mr. Perry, we apologize.

And I can assure you that this type of thing will never happen again because

Dorian will be in school all day, every day.

And so will my daughter.

Right, Chanel?

Yes, Daddy.

5D money.

Mr. Perry.

I want to thank you for stopping by.

And I'll thank you for keeping your nephew away from my child.

Look, I can explain, Uncle Frank. Dorian, Dorian.

I want you to listen very carefully to what I'm about to say, because I'm only

going to say this once.

You are not slick, son. Do you understand?

You get away with what I let you get away with.

But you are trying my patience, Dorian.

And when my patience runs out, this will all be over.

And I am not going to be looking back.

Sorry I lied to you, Auntie.

I'm sorry you lied too, Dorian.

I'll see you in detention.

I know I should say something to Professor Ward, but I don't want to hurt

Neesey. What do you think I should do?

Well, what'd your parents say?

Can't talk to them.

Why not?

Because I'll try to fix everything.

Oh, you're right. Dumb suggestion.

We are adults now. We can't go running to our parents every time we think we

the boogeyman.

So you're saying we should make our own decisions.

Right.

And we should learn to deal with our own situations.

Exactly. Yeah, and we should do what we think is right.

Yeah. Well, Mo, if you think all that's true, then why don't you do what Mo

would do and not what Niecy wants Mo to do?

She's my friend, though. Yeah, yeah, that's good.

That's important.

Mo, you shouldn't let friendship compromise your integrity.

Great advice, Hakeem.

I didn't know you were a student of philosophy.

Well, hey, still a few things about me that you don't know.

Then in January of 1848, James Marshall discovered gold near Sacramento,

which spawned the gold rush and started one of the largest human migrations in

history.

Now, without that accidental discovery, California might not have become a

state. There'd be no Transcontinental Railroad, and we'd all be watching

Telemundo.

Yes, Moesha.

I don't think that was funny.

That's okay. My wife doesn't think my jokes are funny either.

I'd leave her, but her family's incredibly wealthy.

The only reason why you think your jokes are funny is because not enough people

are standing up and saying that you're wrong.

Yeah, like what you said about Lisa the other day.

Lisa didn't seem to have a problem with it.

Wait, Lisa can speak for herself.

You may have thought it was funny or complimentary, but it's still a

and I didn't appreciate it.

Oh, come on, you guys.

Where's your sense of humor?

We lost it somewhere around Telemundo.

Yeah.

Look, just because a few of you are overly sensitive, I'm not going to stop

making my class interesting.

Oh, it will be interesting, because we're not going to stop telling you how

feel.

Oh,

then I guess I'll see you next week.

Class dismissed.

I don't know if we had any effect on Professor Ward, but he stopped making

offensive jokes.

Well, at least in class.

I thought Niecy and I deserved an A on our midterm.

And although I'll always wonder about the grade, I'll never regret standing up

for what I believe.