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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,820 --> 00:00:03,800 Oh, little Zachary. 2 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:10,040 Oh, little Zachary was in my second grade class and he had the biggest crush 3 00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:12,480 me. Oh, I hated that boy. 4 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:17,160 He was always sending me notes, trying to kiss me and giving me now and laters. 5 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,400 I thought all that was goofy then. 6 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:24,540 But now, I wish I could find someone that sensitive who always pays attention 7 00:00:24,540 --> 00:00:25,540 my needs. 8 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:31,450 The biggest crush on me. 9 00:00:32,229 --> 00:00:33,650 Ooh, I hated that boy. 10 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:27,740 I promised to fix it two days ago. 11 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,000 Uncle Bernie's not a plumber. 12 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:36,640 He's a... All right, I don't know what he does. 13 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:38,920 Let's see. 14 00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:44,500 What do you call a guy who wears flashy clothes, too much jewelry, and drives a 15 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:45,500 big, long Cadillac? 16 00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:46,720 Well, that's Reverend Johnson. 17 00:02:02,730 --> 00:02:05,510 Pretty as ever. Oh, my God. How long has it been? 18 00:02:05,910 --> 00:02:07,630 Oh, too long, girl. Way too long. 19 00:02:12,850 --> 00:02:16,210 Moesha, Nisi, Kim, this is an old friend of mine, Earl Thomas. 20 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,370 Oh, old friend, huh? 21 00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:21,930 Would you happen to have a younger twin brother who looks exactly like you? 22 00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:27,890 So, Earl, what's the story with you, Andel, and all these flowers? 23 00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:30,810 Well, Andel and I had quite a story at one time. 24 00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:32,850 A love story. 25 00:02:33,210 --> 00:02:36,950 Truth be told, I tried to marry Andel when we were still in college. 26 00:02:37,170 --> 00:02:38,210 Why? This Andel? 27 00:02:39,650 --> 00:02:41,150 Yes, this Andel. 28 00:02:41,450 --> 00:02:46,250 But she broke my heart when she told me no. She told you no? This Andel? 29 00:02:47,590 --> 00:02:48,770 Yes, this Andel. 30 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,450 I just wasn't ready. 31 00:02:51,290 --> 00:02:56,190 Oh, that's so, so, so young and arrestless. 32 00:02:56,770 --> 00:02:59,310 But you waited all this time for your one true love. 33 00:03:00,110 --> 00:03:03,610 No, I didn't. I got married a couple months later. 34 00:03:03,910 --> 00:03:05,230 To Panky Allen. 35 00:03:05,890 --> 00:03:10,530 No disrespect, but your wife's name is Panky. My ex -wife. 36 00:03:11,030 --> 00:03:12,750 We divorced three years ago. 37 00:03:13,050 --> 00:03:14,050 Oh, so you're single. 38 00:03:14,370 --> 00:03:16,210 Every day, all day. 39 00:03:16,450 --> 00:03:18,210 Well, so is Andel. 40 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:21,770 Every day, every night, every weekend. 41 00:03:24,010 --> 00:03:29,170 That's a good thing, Andel, because I would love to take you out to dinner 42 00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:30,170 tonight. 43 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:31,700 I'll be ready at 8. 44 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:33,720 8 o 'clock it is. 45 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,240 Hello. 46 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,360 What about my uncle? 47 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,060 You mean the one who hasn't returned my phone calls, is afraid of commitment, 48 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,320 and takes me for granted? 49 00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:48,660 Yep, that's the one. 50 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,740 Look, Mo, Earl and I are just two old friends going out for dinner. 51 00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:56,020 Well, if you guys are just two old friends, can I go? 52 00:03:56,460 --> 00:03:57,460 Hell no. 53 00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:12,090 out your attic is not the way I had business spending my Saturday afternoon. 54 00:04:12,770 --> 00:04:15,470 Afternoon? Ernie, you just got here 30 minutes ago. 55 00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:17,370 30 weekend minutes. 56 00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:20,570 To us single folks, that's like prime time. 57 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:25,770 Yeah, well, your stuff has been taking up prime storage space. All this junk is 58 00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:26,950 going in the trash. Junk? 59 00:04:27,570 --> 00:04:28,570 You must be crazy. 60 00:04:30,290 --> 00:04:31,570 This stuff is timeless. 61 00:04:37,230 --> 00:04:43,610 stop when you went to see the mac i don't know why you bother me most of the 62 00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:48,970 stuff is these i bet you got a pair of hot pants on your head too oh 63 00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:55,710 speaking of hot dearest deidre may we forever be each other's 64 00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:57,430 everything love 65 00:05:01,450 --> 00:05:05,150 Hey, Bernie, don't even try to go there. Man, that is obviously just a very old 66 00:05:05,150 --> 00:05:06,590 picture. 1990. 67 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,210 Is that a 308? 68 00:05:09,670 --> 00:05:10,670 Give me that. 69 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,430 Hey, come on, guys. 70 00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:14,670 Now, what is taking you so long? 71 00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:21,050 No, the question is, where were you the night of September 3rd, 72 00:05:21,050 --> 00:05:23,710 1993, 08? 73 00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:26,890 And with who? 74 00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:28,530 It's with whom. 75 00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:31,000 Proper grammar won't change the fact. 76 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:38,000 Uh, baby, Bernie and I were just wondering, uh, who this is in this 77 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:39,980 Hose with no shirt on. 78 00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:42,560 All greased up like a holiday butterball. 79 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:45,840 Bo. 80 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,040 Bo? 81 00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,700 Is that Jamaican for boo? 82 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,100 Bernie, why are you always trying to start something, huh? 83 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:56,740 This is me. Yeah, you're right, Dee. So why don't I just throw it away with the 84 00:05:56,740 --> 00:05:58,560 rest of the junk? Oh, no, honey, that's all right. 85 00:05:58,970 --> 00:06:02,150 I'll just put it back in my box so that I can sort through my things later. 86 00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:03,470 Thank you. 87 00:06:03,910 --> 00:06:07,810 What a shame. 88 00:06:08,710 --> 00:06:09,710 What a shame. 89 00:06:10,890 --> 00:06:14,650 Another strong man made weak by marriage. 90 00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:18,710 Oh, come on, Bernie. She's just trying to save face. 91 00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:20,790 Man, she'll throw that picture away later. 92 00:06:22,110 --> 00:06:23,830 You still believe in Easter Bunny, don't you? 93 00:06:26,450 --> 00:06:28,030 Hi, Daddy. How go, Bernie? Hey, baby. 94 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:33,100 Uncle Bernie, I just left Indel. She didn't ask you where I was last night. 95 00:06:33,340 --> 00:06:34,340 Good. 96 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,460 Uncle Bernie, I don't understand. I mean, if you're serious about Indel, why 97 00:06:38,460 --> 00:06:41,200 didn't you want to see her last night? Because I'd already eaten. 98 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,200 And I just didn't see the point. 99 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:47,400 Bam, old Bernie. 100 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,660 I'm going to take her out to dinner tonight. Don't worry about it. 101 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,420 Don't bother, Uncle Bernie. She already has dinner plans. 102 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,100 See, that's what's wrong with a woman. 103 00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,720 Just assuming I'm going to take her to the CIS. 104 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:07,320 It's with another man, Uncle Bernie, and he's taking her to a restaurant where 105 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:08,540 they don't use trees. 106 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,600 Another man, huh? 107 00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:14,980 Well, I hope she bring me doggy bags. 108 00:07:15,860 --> 00:07:19,460 Bernie, look, when Andell was in college, she was this man's one true 109 00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:21,720 Aren't you afraid he might sweep off a feet? 110 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,680 He can use my broom. 111 00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:28,810 I'm just asking, why you can't call somebody? 112 00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:31,270 How many times do I have to tell you, Bernie? I've just been busy. 113 00:07:31,490 --> 00:07:32,490 For three days. 114 00:07:32,790 --> 00:07:33,790 You get my messages. 115 00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:36,850 Yeah, and please stop singing Whip -A -Pill on my answering machine. 116 00:07:39,070 --> 00:07:40,070 That's our song. 117 00:07:40,570 --> 00:07:41,890 What is wrong with you? 118 00:07:42,330 --> 00:07:43,330 What's wrong with me? 119 00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,850 I thought we had something. 120 00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:52,570 Look, I've just been busy. I do have a business to run. 121 00:07:53,550 --> 00:07:54,730 That's my tweeting. 122 00:07:56,030 --> 00:07:57,750 Businesswoman first and foremost. 123 00:07:58,730 --> 00:07:59,730 Page me later. 124 00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:03,450 Maybe take a moonlit stroll on the beach. 125 00:08:04,330 --> 00:08:07,190 Better yet, let's just rent a movie about the beach. 126 00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:09,930 Bye, Bernie. 127 00:08:17,070 --> 00:08:18,810 See you on the beach, tween. 128 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:40,340 stop. You know you're worth it. 129 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:41,820 True, true. 130 00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:46,980 What is this? 131 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:48,900 Johnny, 132 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,320 hit it. Johnny who? 133 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,180 Smells good on you. 134 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:19,140 Slap on your lipstick. 135 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:23,340 And let all your hair down. 136 00:09:24,180 --> 00:09:31,120 Cause baby, when you get through, I'm gonna show you. 137 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:36,820 Tonight will be a special night. 138 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,140 What's this picture of Bo doing in here? 139 00:11:11,180 --> 00:11:12,400 Highlighting your imperfection. 140 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,300 Hey, Dad, can you spell sit up? 141 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,220 Well, I can't either. 142 00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:24,240 I'm going to go look that up. 143 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,780 Now, don't you say a word, Bernie. 144 00:11:28,060 --> 00:11:29,060 Don't need to. 145 00:11:29,140 --> 00:11:30,880 A picture worth a thousand words. 146 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:40,950 What are you doing with my scrapbook? 147 00:11:41,070 --> 00:11:44,410 Dee, I thought we agreed that you should get rid of this picture. I never said 148 00:11:44,410 --> 00:11:45,349 any such thing. 149 00:11:45,350 --> 00:11:48,310 Now, Dee, you need to throw this picture away. 150 00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:52,990 Now. I don't take orders, Frank. 151 00:11:58,350 --> 00:11:59,350 Guess you told her. 152 00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:02,770 Guess what? Guess what? What? 153 00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,090 Adele's getting married. 154 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,390 I'm not marrying that woman. 155 00:12:07,550 --> 00:12:09,390 Not to you. To Earl. 156 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,120 college boyfriend. 157 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,200 Oh, Bernie. 158 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,420 I'm sorry, man. 159 00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:18,180 Sorry? 160 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,640 You don't have to feel sorry for Bernie. 161 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,200 That just means it's a Mac in the back. 162 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:27,600 Free Mac. 163 00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:29,800 The ball and chain is gone. 164 00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:35,640 Well, looks like Tweety has found herself a new putty cat. 165 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,880 Bernie, you okay with this? 166 00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:50,840 Any fish in the sea, Dee. 167 00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:52,860 You sure? 168 00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:56,060 You get off one bus, you catch the next. 169 00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:02,100 Well, then I think this calls for a celebration. 170 00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:04,500 I'm gonna throw Ann Dillon an engagement party. 171 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,720 Won't bother me. 172 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,000 No sense in me don't want to celebrate. 173 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:13,600 Great! And I know the perfect caterer, Ingrid. Now, where did I put her 174 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,080 Maybe you left it in your scrapbook. 175 00:13:29,119 --> 00:13:30,500 Oh, everything is perfect. 176 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,860 I really want to thank you for throwing us this party. I can't tell you how much 177 00:13:33,860 --> 00:13:35,760 we appreciate it. Oh, it's our pleasure, Earl. 178 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,900 We just want the two of you to be happy. 179 00:13:38,220 --> 00:13:42,820 Well, if the two of us are half as happy as the two of you seem to be, we will 180 00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:43,880 be together forever. 181 00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:47,160 Oh, that's so sweet. You guys are going to make me cry. 182 00:13:47,580 --> 00:13:51,260 Oh, you're supposed to be mingling, so come on. Have a nice time. 183 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:03,100 Yeah, it sure was nice what he just said about us, wasn't it? Mm -hmm. 184 00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:09,580 We will be together forever, as long as we trust each other. 185 00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:13,840 Yeah, I know I shouldn't have let that picture get under my skin. 186 00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:16,820 I'm sorry, baby. 187 00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:20,540 Well, it wasn't all your fault. 188 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,200 I could have been a little bit more forthcoming. 189 00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:24,620 Oh, really? 190 00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:26,020 Mm -hmm. 191 00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:31,590 I was on vacation with my sisters, and Bo was our scuba instructor. 192 00:14:32,230 --> 00:14:33,670 He had a little crush on me. 193 00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:39,010 So the joke, my sisters, they took that picture, and they wrote that little love 194 00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:42,590 note on it. So there was never anything between the two of you at all? 195 00:14:43,190 --> 00:14:44,190 Not at all. 196 00:14:46,690 --> 00:14:52,950 In fact, a couple of months later, I met and fell in love 197 00:14:52,950 --> 00:14:55,410 with the man of my dreams. 198 00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:09,230 see you here. Hey, baby girl. 199 00:15:09,750 --> 00:15:14,190 Just couldn't sit at home and not bathe and drink Jack Daniels and listen to B 200 00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:15,450 .B. King for the rest of my life. 201 00:15:16,810 --> 00:15:17,810 Had to move on. 202 00:15:18,410 --> 00:15:22,490 So I figured the best way was for me to come here. 203 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,750 Bernie? What are you doing here? 204 00:15:26,370 --> 00:15:27,370 Don't worry. 205 00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:31,090 I didn't come to disrupt your festivities. I just came to bring you 206 00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:33,670 How you doing? 207 00:15:38,350 --> 00:15:40,570 Um, Bernie, this is my fiancé, Earl. 208 00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:42,210 Earl, this is Bernie. 209 00:15:43,350 --> 00:15:44,350 My uncle. 210 00:15:48,170 --> 00:15:49,770 Got a good woman there, Earl. 211 00:15:51,210 --> 00:15:52,210 Take care of her. 212 00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,290 I wouldn't have it any other way. 213 00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:57,010 Thanks for coming. 214 00:15:58,010 --> 00:16:00,330 Listen, I'll be in the other room, okay, sweetie? Okay. 215 00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:06,530 Sweetie? 216 00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:09,270 I can't even say Tweety. 217 00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:14,510 Oh, I'll be in there, too. 218 00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:18,270 Bernie. 219 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:21,230 Oh. 220 00:16:22,890 --> 00:16:23,890 Here. 221 00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:27,350 Get that doll you wanted. 222 00:16:28,350 --> 00:16:31,570 I remember we were driving all the way up to... Up to San Francisco. 223 00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:33,010 Mm -hmm. 224 00:16:33,570 --> 00:16:36,330 And the car overheated in Bakersfield. 225 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,140 I told you we should have rented a car. No, I told you the L -Dog was going to 226 00:16:42,140 --> 00:16:43,140 pull us through. 227 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:48,500 Well, of course, if it had, you never would have been told to that rest stop 228 00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,940 never would have seen this doll. 229 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:53,840 I can't believe you remembered. 230 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:55,600 How can I forget? 231 00:16:56,280 --> 00:17:01,320 Shoot, last night I jumped in the L -Dog and, shoot, I popped in the Al Green 8 232 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,320 -track. 233 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,819 I drove all the way to Bakersfield. 234 00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:07,510 Got you that doll. 235 00:17:09,869 --> 00:17:11,069 Birdie, you did that for me? 236 00:17:11,450 --> 00:17:12,450 I'll do it again. 237 00:17:15,609 --> 00:17:19,109 I hope your car didn't overheat. No, no, not once. 238 00:17:19,710 --> 00:17:21,690 That dog drove like a champion. 239 00:17:22,490 --> 00:17:24,829 She must have knew I had to get that doll. 240 00:17:26,230 --> 00:17:27,569 Because of my last chance. 241 00:17:30,390 --> 00:17:31,850 Show you how much I love you. 242 00:17:36,060 --> 00:17:37,060 Good -bye, sweetie. 243 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:44,580 Hey, Adele, we got you something. 244 00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:47,160 Surprise! Go on, open it. 245 00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:52,960 Niecy bought the car, Kim signed it, and I put the money in it. 246 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,340 All of it. 247 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,080 Congratulations on your engagement. 248 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:06,760 I'm sorry, you guys. Excuse me. 249 00:18:10,140 --> 00:18:12,020 I told you to get a Ziggy car. 250 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,680 But no, you had to get a Hallmark. 251 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,280 And then... You okay? 252 00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:26,380 Yeah. 253 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,020 No. Bernie gave me this doll. 254 00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:32,360 Oh, yeah, and it is ugly. 255 00:18:36,970 --> 00:18:38,830 I can get you to recede and you can take it back. 256 00:18:40,310 --> 00:18:41,530 I can't marry Earl. 257 00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:43,190 Why? 258 00:18:43,370 --> 00:18:45,130 Because Uncle Bernie gave you an ugly doll. 259 00:18:45,370 --> 00:18:46,430 Bernie loves me. 260 00:18:47,690 --> 00:18:48,690 He said that? 261 00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:50,350 And he showed me. 262 00:18:51,870 --> 00:18:54,770 Why couldn't he have showed me six months ago or a week ago? 263 00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:58,190 Shoot, any time before Earl put this rock on my finger. 264 00:18:59,490 --> 00:19:03,670 Well, Uncle Bernie always had his own time zone. 265 00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:06,190 And if he had to just stay there... 266 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:07,600 I would be marrying Earl. 267 00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:09,780 So you gonna marry my Uncle Bernie? 268 00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:12,000 I don't know. 269 00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:15,200 I'm just not ready to give up on him. 270 00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:17,700 So what you gonna tell Earl? 271 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,260 Why you think I'm out here? 272 00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:23,760 He's a sweet guy. 273 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:29,640 He deserves somebody who loves him the way that I... The way you love Uncle 274 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:30,640 Bernie? 275 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:33,760 Yeah. 276 00:19:34,610 --> 00:19:36,530 But I don't think that's the best way to break it to him. 277 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:40,830 Good luck, Andale. 278 00:19:46,870 --> 00:19:48,870 Maybe I should let Earl get some cake first. 279 00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:21,050 And Dale and Uncle Bernie didn't know what they had until it was almost gone. 280 00:20:21,990 --> 00:20:25,550 I wonder if I've already met my true love and somehow passed him by. 281 00:20:25,790 --> 00:20:27,210 I don't know. 282 00:20:27,650 --> 00:20:31,870 But the next time a little Zachary tries to give me now and laters, I'll take 283 00:20:31,870 --> 00:20:32,870 him up on the offer. 284 00:20:41,770 --> 00:20:46,810 Said give it my all to you today. I want to know. Yeah, if you love me 20133

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