Original subtitles

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

The great thing about CPQ breaking up is that now there's an opener for me.

CPM has a nice ring to it. But first things first, even the great ones need

work on their voices.

Leontine Prey, Aretha Franklin, Foxy Brown.

So I thought I'd tune up my instrument before the group's audition.

Don't break me.

See?

The queen of soul can't do that.

to let me in the group uh -uh somebody gonna show up well whether they show up

or not you only have five more minutes to hold your auditions because i have a

business to run uh did you even post the audition notices i resent that kim do

you think i was too solo as to sabotage the group just because i want to be a

part of it in a word yes come on you guys please i'm good now i've

been practicing and I have dance moves and everything.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it, Twinkle Toes, okay? You're not stepping on my

dance moves.

No pun intended.

Yo, am I too late for the audition? No!

You don't even have to audition. You're already in the group.

Please, not. We don't know what Antonio can do.

Well, we know what you can do, so he has to be better.

Antonio, what do you have to offer this group?

Well, you know, besides my smoldering good looks.

Next.

Okay, okay, I can sing, dance, and rap.

But can you juggle chainsaws?

Huh? And you call yourself a performer.

Anyway, man, show us what you got planned.

Okay, okay, I'll check this out.

Yo, Mommy.

This unconditional vibe that I'm pushing up to you is an artistic love that

could be nothing but true. The brown skin, crenshaw, Latin's painting the

No, I'm not Picasso. I'm better known as Antonio.

I'm almighty with the brush in my hand. I'm laying murals more detailed than the

one -eared man. I'm spraying, arranging. I'm simply just displaying.

Do I need to repeat myself? Do you understand what I'm saying?

He's pretty and good.

Well?

Looks like you got your first groupie.

If he plays his cards right.

Pardon?

Did you see what type of element he's attracted?

Do you really want him in the group? Oh, God, yes.

Come on, you guys. I'm saying, with me, you get a manager and a performer.

That's two for one. We're not looking for a bargain.

Tony Obed, congratulations. Welcome to the group, baby. All right, Blanche.

Please let me in the group.

Snap out of it, Mo. You can't sing.

Right, all right. But you know I can dance like Janet.

Yup. Reno.

Come on, Ricky. Let me be in the show.

Lucy, the answer is no.

If you let me perform with you, I'll never have to be in your show again.

Now that's somebody who understands my pain.

Lucy.

Lucy, I'm home.

been doing today? Only what a good wife should, honey. I cooked clean, watched

Oprah, and I found the cutest new sheets for our twin beds.

Don't talk like that around the boy.

I'm not ready to explain such things to him.

You're right, dear.

What are you guys talking about?

Mommy and Daddy talk, sweetie.

Do Uncle Fred and Aunt Ethel ever talk?

No, honey. At Fred's age, he only talks to himself.

Fred and Ethel. I invited them over.

So, Ricky, what's the big news?

Big news?

Honey, you didn't mention any big news.

Well, I wanted to tell everyone at once.

Oh, come on, Rick. Spill the beans.

Okay. Well, there's going to be a big Broadway star review at the Tropicana

week. And, of course, you know who the star is going to be.

The artist formerly known as Cab Calloway?

Very funny. You're just trying to get my sheep.

That's goat, honey.

Oh, forget it.

My manager, Sally, and his big producer, Mr. Jeffries, came up with the idea.

They've invited a lot of network executives to check out the show.

You're going to be on TV?

I might even get my own show.

Oh, honey!

Oh, wow, I may have to break down and buy a TV set.

Oh, you're so cheap, you haven't even bought a radio yet.

Well, I should. I can barely compete with all the noise coming from your big

mouth. Big mouth?

Why, you old geezer, you're sleeping on the couch tonight.

Oh, is that a promise?

All right.

You won't need a TV because you'll be on it.

Mr. Jeffries is holding open auditions tomorrow, and I told him about your

vaudeville act. Oh, that's well of you, Ricky.

Hey, Dad, I want to be in the show.

Well, I'm sure Mr. Jeffries won my audition, a cute little boy with a drum.

You be.

Oh, this is so great. My husband is going to be the star of his own TV show,

the four of us are going to audition. So what should I do, sing and dance?

No, sit and watch.

and show business done mix.

Yeah, Lucy Briggs, right. You only make a fool of yourself.

Well, you're the expert on that.

Sweetie. I know Fred sounds cruel, but the old coot's only looking out for your

feeling.

Sure.

Why, they're the epitome of good old -fashioned American entertainment.

Now, put them together with Ricky here, and I think we've got a hit. Oh, and

don't forget about little Ricky. I mean, who doesn't love a cute little boy with

a drum? True, true.

Talent runs in my family. Yes.

And then there's Mrs.

Ricardo.

Well, Mr. Jeffries, talent ran away from that side of my family.

Oh, no, no, now don't get me wrong, Ricardo. She's spunky. I like her.

Unfortunately, Lucy may be the worst singer I've ever heard.

Yeah, the worst. Absolute worst.

All right, now. We're ready for the dance auditions.

Oh, and wait until you see this girl.

Lola Valvoom. She's going to knock your stress off.

All right, now, ladies. I'm your choreographer, Miss Gina. And I'm going

you... Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

I'm going to quickly show you what it is we're going to do. So, please.

Pay attention.

All right.

Eartha. Eartha. Through the curtain.

Through the curtain.

Feel it, huh?

And turn.

Serve it up.

Heaven, earth.

Ha!

Wow, that looks harsh.

Do not speak to Lola.

All right, all right. Are there any questions?

as Eartha go through the curtain.

Enough of this foolishness.

Lola is ready now.

we can keep you all. Yep. But, unfortunately, we can't. No.

So, if Gina taps you on the shoulder, please stay. Stay. Everybody else,

hiring at the post office.

Ah, the post office.

All right, let's see what we've got here. And, uh, well,

you and you.

You and, of course, you two.

Oh, what the heck?

Did you hear that, Lucy? We're in. Yeah, yeah, that's nice, kid.

Congratulations, Lola.

You're the lead.

Was there ever any doubt?

Oh, uh, by the way, I need a bigger dressing room.

That's it.

Thank you, everybody.

Excuse me, Gina, but I do believe you forgot to tap me on the shoulder.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh.

You didn't make the cut.

Goodnight.

What was that for?

No reason. I love you.

And I love you, too.

How much?

More than anything.

Do you love me enough to climb the highest mountain or swim the deepest

Mm -hmm.

So you love me enough to do anything, huh?

Yep. Anything but try to convince Mr. Jeffries to put you in the show.

Oh, Ricky.

No. You're the star of the show. They'll listen to you.

That's what they did.

Aw.

I think we just stumbled onto the next great duo.

I'm talking larger than a stair.

Hepburn and Tracy.

Malcolm and Eddie.

Lola gets into the dance, the passion takes over.

No, no, no, no, no, no. That's okay, Lola.

It only makes the dance more satisfying for the audience.

Only the audience?

Well, then Lola must try harder.

That Lola's one hot tomato, ain't she?

She's one unbelievable dancer. I mean, did you see those moves?

Last time I saw moves that quick, they involved Ethel in a cheeseburger.

Jeepers, Miss Lola. You're the greatest dancer in the world.

Thank you, cute little boy with the drum.

Lola appreciates your adulation.

Now come with me, son of Ricky.

Lola will get you a nice frosty glass of Ovaltine.

Now that's dope.

Look at her with that wiggly walk.

I tell you, she's awful.

Well, Ethel, let me tell you just how friendly she really is.

Crown me.

Somebody's at the door.

I'll get it.

Oh, Lucy, we need to talk. Why?

Shouldn't the big TV star be rehearsing for a big show tomorrow?

The one that I'm not coming to? Well, if you don't come, you might lose your

husband.

What are you talking about, Ethel? It's that hussy, Lola Vavoon. She is the hots

for Ricky.

Oh, did Lola tell you that? She didn't have to. She's been clinging to him like

Fred clings to a quarter.

Ethel, are you sure that Lola's after my Ricky?

Sure shooting.

Gina told me the floozy is the man -eater, and Ricky's the main course.

to have to put that Lola on a diet what do you mean we you and I

Lola, you've got a visitor.

Who would dare to visit Lola as she prepares for the dance?

Are you ready? Yeah.

I mean, Lola's ready.

Mr.

Jack, please.

Oh, you can say that again.

That's what I call a happy ending.