Original subtitles

In life, people you meet have a lot to do with shaping who you ultimately

become, though some a lot more heavy -handed than others.

Now, if all these people are molding you, when is it your turn?

Carpe diem.

Seize the day.

Moesha. Moesha.

98.

99.

99 and a half.

Hurry up. I can't feel my head.

100.

Kim, I don't know why you took that dare. We know the truth anyway.

How did you guys know my sneaks were fake?

Because there's no Y in Nike.

Y 'all want to play dirty.

Niecy, truth or dare, did you ever stuff your bra with Kleenex?

Truth? No.

Hold up. What about that time when Tyree broke down and finally asked you out?

Uh -huh. That wasn't Kleenex.

That was toilet paper.

Yes, she told you. Your turn. All right, bring it on. Bring it on. Okay.

Truth or dare?

Have you ever kissed Hakeem?

Truth. On the cheek.

All the time.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm talking swap and spit.

Dare.

Oh, so you were the other woman.

Kim, just because I said dare doesn't mean I kissed him.

She's right, Kim.

Besides, you never did.

It felt good how she was blocking.

Don't tell with my foot in your mouth. Greg!

Help me!

You gonna stay out of my closet?

You gonna stay out of my room?

Out of my business?

Yes! Hey,

what's going on in here?

Hi, Mrs. Mitchell. Hey. Did you ever try to kill me?

Well, then perhaps I should come back later.

Miles, well, what are you doing up here bothering them anyway?

I was in her car.

and the dryer just went off.

Dang. I'm glad this punishment ends tomorrow.

They got me cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, and that was before I left for

school.

I can't believe you're still in lockdown after that Tijuana trip.

All I had to do was re -braid my mama's hair.

Girl, with all the kids in my house, they didn't even know I was gone.

Hey, Nisa, you're lucky.

I wish my parents didn't care.

I mean, you know.

to always treat me like I'm a baby.

Can't they see I'm grown?

Mo, you're not grown.

You're just tall.

Got you.

I better go start dinner.

Not so fast, Shaken, babe. You still got some business up here.

Now, I need to give her her dinner and make it good.

Ooh, well, let me see.

Oh, no, you can't do that.

Oh,

no, I wouldn't even do that.

I got it.

But, nah, you're probably too scared to do something like that. Scared to do

what?

Get a tattoo.

Y 'all tripping. My dad would kill me.

Nemo, that's why you never do anything.

You're too scared of your daddy.

I'm not scared of him. I can do anything I want.

Then do it. Mm -hmm.

All right.

I'll do it. Only if you guys do it with me.

Okay, I'm not down with the tattoo, but I've been wanting to get my nose

pierced. Girl, I'm going to do it both, okay?

So what's up? We going to do this tomorrow?

Cool.

Alicia? Yes, Daddy?

Hi, Mr. Mitchell.

Hello, ladies.

Visiting hours are over. I'm afraid you have to leave.

Yes, sir.

This is freaky.

Hence the name, Freak Shack.

Man, check this out.

This is the biggest navel ring I've ever seen.

Kim, that's a bracelet.

Ooh, I'm gonna get that one. It's got my nose all over it.

Welcome to the Freak Shack.

My name is Marquis.

Are you here to be adorned, pierced, or inducted?

That big guy that just ran out here screaming, was he pierced, adorned, or

inducted? Oh, her?

She was just reading our price list.

Well, actually, we're just window shopping.

Well, you've come to the Mecca of body enhancement.

We have three certified craftspersons on duty.

However, before you can be pierced or tattooed, the law requires you must be

or have your parents' permission.

Well, what if neither applies?

Then I require cash.

Dana, we have victims.

Hey, Marquis, the swelling went down. Can you do my tongue again?

Uh, if you initiates would just follow Dana, we could have you out of here in

time. Oh, goody first -timers.

She's way too happy. You go first.

Excuse me, Mr. Freak.

Oh, I'm sorry. What's your name again?

Marquis.

Well, my bad. I didn't recognize it next to the 666.

Anyway, I want to get a tattoo.

Is that painful?

Our motto here is, pain is relative.

That didn't hurt much, did it?

Pain is relative.

Tell me about it. Mine hurt so bad I thought I was going to pass out. I saw

white light and heard my ancestors calling me.

Let me see your tattoo.

It's cute.

What is it?

A rose.

Oh, well, maybe when it blossoms, it'll look better.

Oh, girl, you're going to get a lot of play with that hoop. Shoot, when my sign

is clear up, I'm going to get the other side done.

Oh, Moe, girl, that is fly.

You think so?

Yeah.

What do you guys think about mine?

Your what?

My ears.

My ears?

Niecy, you said you were going to get your body pierced. I did.

Twice.

Please, what about your tattoo?

He wouldn't let me put it on layaway.

You mean me and Mo went through all of that pain and you just got your ears

pierced? Hey, man, pain is relative.

I don't know.

Hey, how's it going? I heard you're working two jobs now.

Yeah. I thought it was time for me to start acting responsible and work off my

time. Was that before or after Andale cut you off?

That was before you got that thing in your nose.

Hey, try this.

Hakeem, since I'm taking a walk on the wild side, I'll take a swig. All right.

Swig? Girl, you've been watching too much Bonanza. Okay.

Dang, Hakeem, this is off the easy.

What's it called?

Hakeem's off the easy smoothie.

Hakeem, look.

I got a tattoo. I didn't see that. Because if Mr. Mitch knew I knew and

let him know, I'd have to find a new place to eat. Go, go, go.

Hey, boo.

Hakeem, you must be putting your foot in these smoothies. They selling like

crazy. Nope, just... Following your lead, Andell. All I had to do was see

make one and cha -ching.

I'm not hiding anything.

I mean, it's my body, my tattoo, and my life. It's time I took control over it.

We feel you, Janet.

Okay, here we go.

Andell, look.

I got a tattoo.

Oh, didn't it hurt?

My nose ring did. The pain was excruciating.

Was excruciating.

Will it hurt?

Now that I look at it, I know it's worth it.

Uh -oh.

A clip -on camera.

Hey. Hey, honey, how are you?

Dee, if I told you something, would you promise not to tell Dad?

Well, honey, that depends on what it is.

I punched Stanley Maxbury in the mouth.

Why?

He said because I played Romeo, I was a thesby.

That's a compliment, honey.

But isn't that what you call women like Ellen on TV?

Miles, um... Women like Ellen are called... Lesbian.

Oh, then men are thespians and women are lesbians.

No, thespians are actors and can be men or women.

Then why can't a man be a lesbian?

Hey, D.

Moesha!

How's it feel to be free on a Saturday?

D, look.

Ooh.

Dad's gonna get you. Let me see it. Is it real? Get away from me. Of course

real. Dee, how do you like it?

Well, it looks, uh, permanent.

Thanks. I'm glad you like it.

Are you gonna let her keep it?

And what do you suggest I do?

Well, they're doing some amazing things with laser surgery.

Daddy's home.

Dad, Mo got a tattoo. A real one.

What?

Oh, Dee, baby, I can't believe it. A tattoo?

Where did I go wrong?

Oh, honey, you didn't do anything wrong.

Sometimes kids just do silly things. I have to deal with this sort of stuff

every day at school.

I mean, honey, it's just a part of them finding out who they are.

See, she's the same person she's always been. My daughter.

And if she doesn't know that by now, she's not going to find out by defacing

body.

Trust me, Frank.

Honey, let it go.

Yeah, right, right. I'll let it go.

Okay.

Where is she?

Honey,

don't overreact. because if you do, she's just going to find another way to

rebel.

Honey, it's just a passing fad.

Yeah. You said that about braids, and I'm still paying $100 every time one

out.

Frank, trust me.

If you treat it like it's no big thing, then she'll act like it's no big thing.

No big thing?

Frank, it's on her stomach.

Nobody's going to see it but her.

All right, D. We'll do this your way. I'll try to be cool.

More fish, Daddy?

Wow, second.

Yeah, I could get used to Hakeem working two jobs.

So, Mo, what'd you do on your first day of freedom?

Well, not that that's any of your business, but I hung out at the mall,

by the den, and got a tattoo.

Yes. It's regulator time.

If you don't sit down and finish your dinner, I'm going to regulate you.

You know, I'm beginning to appreciate the value of time out.

Want to see my tattoo, Daddy?

That's nice, Mo.

Now, put your blouse down before you catch a cold.

Well, Mo, I hear that the tattooing process can be rather painful.

Yeah, Dee, but pain is relative.

So, is this a permanent kind of thing, or can you wash it off?

Like right now, for example.

More street beans, dear.

Well, Daddy, to answer your question, no, you can't wash it off because it's

permanent.

Well, you better take care of it.

I mean, after all, you wouldn't want to get some kind of nasty infection.

That's right. I have to put cream on it. Can I be excused? Oh, by all means.

Was that cool enough for you?

The epitome of cool.

Dad, what's a lesbian?

Oh, girl, you just in time. We were about five minutes away from organizing

memorial concert.

Why y 'all tripping like my dad is Joe Jackson?

All he said was don't let it get infected, period.

Uh -huh. So then why you hiding it?

Well, it's the use of having a tattoo.

You can't show it.

Well, I don't have anything to wear with it.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, let me design something for you. Ooh, ooh, ooh, no.

I saw them off.

Okay, but you're not gonna find it.

original.

My team, cancel those smoothies. We out. Bye.

Hey, cancel nothing. No smoothies going on your tab.

So you want me to throw these away, Andale?

Uh -uh, boy. We're recycling here.

Dump that back in the blender.

Oh, by the way, don't forget to order some more of that green stuff.

What green stuff?

The stuff that makes my... the easy smoothie so sweet.

You better not be talking about this stuff.

What's the drama, mama? It's just smoothie mix. What's the drama?

This so -called smoothie mix is my imported Castoro Sagrada bentonite

Bentonite, kryptonite, what's the difference?

This is my colon cleanser.

Dang, how dirty is your colon in there?

Come on, that deal lightened up. I mean, we sold enough smoothies to buy a case

of this stuff and to pay off my tab.

Boy, by using that, I have lost money on every smoothie you've sold.

Well, look at it this way. At least all of your customers now have the cleanest

colons in town.

to stock up on some infants.

Hey. Hey, baby. Hey, Mo, look. I'm about to take Daddy down.

Now, are you going to let that Vulcan child beat you? Mm -mm, baby. I'm about

snatch victory from the jaws that... What in the... Miles, go

to your room.

Go!

Daddy, I hope you're not upset about these because they were on sale.

Girl, did you leave your mind where you left the rest of your clothes?

Oh, Daddy, this is a midriff. All the girls are wearing them. And I guess all

the girls are mutilating their bodies, too.

Daddy, one person's mutilation is another person's art.

You didn't know that.

Daddy, I don't understand this.

You knew I had this done yesterday and you were not all upset then.

Why are you tripping now? Because now you look like a tramp.

Frank, you... You said what?

How could you? I don't know, Dee. I mean, just seeing her in that top that

stopped about right here.

And then that thing carved into her stomach. I don't know. I just lost it.

honey, why don't you just go on upstairs and talk to her?

I want to, Dee. I need to. But I'm just afraid of what I might say.

Oh, come on, Dee. My daughter's out there flaunting that tattoo to the whole

world.

Frank, do you remember telling me how... Upset your mother was when she found

out that you had let your fraternity brothers brand you. Oh, come on, Dee,

there's no comparison.

A fraternity is about tradition and brotherhood. And wanting to establish

independence from your parents and needing to be accepted by your peers.

Sweetheart, the situation is different, but the needs, they're the same.

Here, Daddy.

Pumpkin, baby, I'm sorry for what I said to you.

All right.

May I go to the den?

Sure, sure.

I decided to follow an old saying.

If you can't beat them, Goodbye.