Original subtitles

What can I tell you, PJ?

He don't love me.

They write poems about it, sing songs about it.

They even run a phone bill about it.

But if love is so great,

how come I slept better without it?

It's like butter, baby.

What's your name?

Uh, uh, Carol.

Hi, Carol. Don't be nervous. It's 3 a .m. According to our ratings, I doubt if

anyone is listening.

Okay, look, it's my boyfriend.

One minute he can't come in because he says he's never had a girlfriend, and

next he's sandwiched between two hood rats.

Well, it's always good to talk about a problem, and P .J. Butter was easy to

talk to.

Not everybody understood what I was trying to say.

Mr. Butters, what do you think about Carol's situation?

I just have a question.

Why are you always siding with the females?

You're always putting the brother down. You saw Butter. You need to refrigerate.

But P .J.

understood me.

You see, Carol, I think Brother's treating you wrong. See, what he needs

is get a limo, take you out to a nice little concert, something like four

tickets to the Megafest, hang out backstage, meet a couple celebs, then

MTV, chill with I, Dallas.

But since he's not going to do that, let Butter, I'll hook you up.

Oh, that's nice, PJ.

Don't sound too excited.

I'm excited. You know, I just want my man to act right, that's all.

You can always find a new one at the Megafest. Just let me know what station

fills your pain.

109 .1 K -5.

No diggity.

Goodbye, love. Have fun at the show. Bye. Thanks.

Hey, we've got another caller. It's like Butter, baby.

Tell Carol to forget about her man and remember her friends who want to go to

the concert.

Him?

Moesha. Moesha.

brother died unexpectedly this afternoon.

No, the little brother survived because the parents were generous enough to give

him a tape recorder for his birthday.

What are you two talking about?

Morning, everybody.

Morning, honey.

Hey, Mo.

Hello. Did you tell Adi? No, I was waiting for you. Tell me what? Oh, no,

no, baby. You're gonna have to sit down on this one.

Oh, God, what's going on? Last time y 'all had me sit down, you got me a

Marisha, Saturday night, you and a young man... Who needs my approval?

...will be kicking back with your father and me, bee -bopping to the vocal

styling of the one and only Miss Nancy Wilson at the Jazz Bakery.

And maybe you know she's gonna be cooking. Oh, yes.

Thank you, guys, but I'm trying to cut back on my breaded music.

Oh, Marisha, it's an opportunity to hear some real singing.

Yeah, instead of all that hippity -hop you're always listening to.

Thank you, Kumo Daddy.

But I want tickets to the Megafest, and I will be hippity -hopping to the vocal

stylings of Blackstreet, the Tribe Called Quest, MC Lyte, Xscape, Soul For

etc., etc.

Yeah, I mean, Carol.

Who is Carol?

Good morning, Jackson.

Hey, what's going on back there?

Hey, hey, Mo.

I heard your girl Carol on the radio.

Think you can talk to her about hooking me up in one of those concert tickets?

Now, wait a minute.

Mo, I thought you said you won those tickets.

Well, Daddy, Carol and I are so close that when she won, I won.

See, it's a hippity -hop thing, Daddy. You wouldn't understand that.

Here you go.

Oh, I didn't order anything. Oh, it's just a thank you for being clueless

to pass on Nancy Wilson. I'm going in your place.

Oh, and this is from Joy Wallace.

This is from June Coleman, Clarence Winston, and Anthony Leggett.

Why am I so popular?

Three words.

I want to be with my best friend, not sitting up in my room.

So, uh, you're going to take us, right? I'm already down with you.

Actually, I was thinking about scalping the extras, making some more walking

around money. You know what I'm saying?

Ease up, y 'all. Y 'all know I'm going to hook up my peeps.

Oh, hold on.

We're going to be falling.

Felicia, why you got me putting our business on the streets? Oh, you mean on

air? Can we get some air?

Okay.

We'll touch it.

Is something wrong, Quentin?

I don't get you.

I mean, I'm just trying to keep it real.

You all on the airwaves talking, trying to put labels on what we have.

We need to be figuring out how we feel about each other.

And if what you feel is as strong as what I feel, nobody's got to work for

That is so sweet.

You got feelings in there.

Niecy looks like you won't be able to go.

her rediscovered beau and her wannabe bro, and I'm her best friend, so it

like you won't be able to go.

That's right, Kim. Teach the children.

Well, let's just see what Mo has to say about this.

Come on.

In a limo, too?

You can diss me anytime on the radio.

Mo, if you gotta ice anybody from the concert, it should be Hakeem.

No, no, no. Hakeem nothing, okay? I got... seniority on a friendship tip.

What are you two babbling about?

Higher math mode. Five into four won't go.

Relax, Jesse.

Everybody just chill.

Getting five through on four tickets shouldn't be no puzzle if you know what

you're doing.

And my man knows what he's doing. Yeah, but I'm one of the four, right?

That's a strange comment from a person who thought this was a trailer.

I've been in another movie before.

Oh, I can't buy me a soda?

Hey, say, bro, say, how much these sodas going for?

Don't worry about it, bro. It's on me. But let's get something straight now,

right? I do take tips. You know that, don't you?

Well, here's one.

Which barber?

Shaft.

What's up, shorty?

I want you to meet my cousin. Oh, it's sure nice of them to see you off like

this. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. They coming with us, kid.

See, they a singing group, and I manage them. So they need to be at this

concert. Hold up, wait a minute. What makes you think that nine people can get

in on four tickets?

It's under control, mom. We just want to pass the tickets back, man. No, we can

run to leave the cousins at home, home.

Who? I mean, what's the limo without the groupies?

I mean, that's...

You can sit right here.

IDs, all right?

If y 'all ain't out of here in two hours, I'm leaving.

How are we going to do this?

Give me the tickets.

All right. Me and my boys are going to go in first. Then we'll pass the stuff

right back to you guys.

Uh -uh. I said I was born at night, not last night.

Yeah, we'll go in first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then we'll pass the tickets back

you and the shot lights.

Whatever. Let's just do this.

All right, let's chat it up. We got this track home, boy. Come on. Yeah, yeah,

yeah.

Hold up. Hey, yo.

Everybody, best day. Have your ticket out or get up on the line.

He's got them.

Hey, homie, I tried that on yet?

Look, man, do I come to your job and ask you questions?

Tell us more about this tonight.

Oh, now I get it. You must be dumb, and you dumb. One, two, four, five.

Hey, man, back that up, homie. Hey, homie, sold for real soon yet?

Can't you hear? I was just asking.

I'm just going in, man. I ain't trying to get my first strike.

All right,

chill on that. Wait while I get my backstage passes, okay?

Can I see your tickets, please?

Yo, they took our tickets.

We have a situation.

Wait, wait, wait. What you mean, a situation?

Oh.

Show me some tickets or they'll show you the door.

Hey, Ruth.

Come on in.

Hi, Ruth. Hello.

Miles, this is your new babysitter.

Well, look at the time. Y 'all better get going.

This is Mr. Mitchell's pager number, and this is where we'll be in case of

emergency. Okay, thank you. All right. And don't worry about Miles and I. We're

going to get along just fine. All right.

Okay, honey.

All right.

Okay, bye. Okay.

Call us on the way back.

Right. See you later.

So, Ruth, want to take me upstairs and tuck me in?

Listen here, you little maggot.

If any snotty -nosed kid who thinks he's going to run all over Ruth Washington

Baldwin, okay?

I don't think you're his type.

Looks like that now?

Hasn't it always been like that?

Tell you what I think.

You took it just to go with her so I can drop her. Whatever, son. We just gotta

get in there.

No, see, Tyrone said he was gonna let us in.

Tyrone?

I don't know no Tyrone.

So what you doing out here instead of inside jamming? We ain't got no tickets.

Ebony, this is my man Hakeem.

Hi.

Isn't it cute? My girlfriend might have too much to take.

Not so fast.

I mean, I could probably talk her into giving them to you and your friends.

But then you never call me.

I've been thinking about you.

What have you been thinking?

I tell you, inside.

my sisters when I had to pay my light bill.

I don't see them anywhere.

I'm not dating no more basketball players.

Lisa, this is Q, an old friend.

Sir, shh. I mean, how you doing?

Hey,

Lisa Leslie.

I almost bought your basketball shoe until I found out it was a girl's shoe.

Oh, but they were still flying.

Okay, look, Lisa, I'm tired of waiting for Shaquille and Cedric.

Let's just give Q and his friend the tickets.

Whatever. But next time I see Shaq, I'm dunking on him.

I'm sorry. I don't think I know you.

Goodbye.

Everybody, give it up for Tribe Called Quest.

We make sure that we gotta give face to face with that adversity

And come amass it all.

Here we got some balls.

I told my man Consequence what you had to say, kid, talking to me. Well, I

one to complain, but the thing's in the game. And what's your name?

Consequence the type, bro, like flames. Well, watch that. American Dream, they

got the ghetto kid in the frame. Don't stress that, cause it's not in your

bloodstream, your whole being.

Yo,

I know the feeling.

When you're feeling like you're feeling, you be having good thoughts, but the

evil zebra villain and the stressors of life can take you off the right path.

Yeah. Jealousy and envy tends to infiltrate the staff. We got to hold it

so we can move on past all that adversity so we can get through fast. I

don't know what to do.

Turn around.

When you think of it, when you're at the scene.

Say what? Say what? Say what? Say what? What we got, Pop? But you don't

understand, sir. I'm supposed to be in there.

No, you don't understand. I'm supposed to keep you out here.

Okay, I'll bring you a plate. I'm gonna die.

I'll sneak you a plate.

Come on, I'm the K -Vibe contestant. Remember I was on the radio with PJ and

gave me the tickets because my boyfriend is acting like he didn't want to be

with me?

And I know why.

Come on, just tell PJ that Carol is here.

Carol?

PJ?

Like butter, baby.

Come on, we gotta go. I'm waiting for you.

But what about my friend?

All right, they can come in. MTV's waiting, but we gotta go now.

See, I told you.

Just don't forget my plate.

Congratulations. Thank you. I love to watch you. I loved you with RuPaul when

was trying to teach you how to walk like a moon.

Oh, thank you. I had to be a diva. Yeah. Okay, thank you. Hey, so we're ready?

Ready for this, Carol? I'm ready. All right, don't be nervous. It's going to

cool. We're rolling? Cool.

Adele's here, MTV Jams. Welcome.

I'm here with K -Vibe content spinner, Carol. Hi. Congratulations, Carol. Thank

you. Now, we all heard you on the radio. Which one of these guys is the one

that's giving you all the trouble?

He's not here.

He's not here? No.

Oh, I get it. These guys are lined up for the rebound or something? No, no,

Actually, me and my man are rolling again, but these are the guys that he

manages. They're trying to get discovered.

Okay. So you guys are definitely in the right place. Hey, what would you do to

meet Russell Simmons?

I mean, what would you get?

Undying gratitude?

Oh, that's not the right answer. 13 % is the right answer, but we're going to

talk about that later.

Russell! How do you know we ain't salt and pepper?

Of course, you like green and stippy.

Get this.

Going home.

Where's the bus stop?

What's wrong, girls?

They won't let us in.

Somebody stole our tickets.

Well, my son is performing tonight. You can come in with Val.

Why, we'd love to, Val.

Valerie Shaw, my son's performing tonight.

I'm sorry, ma 'am. You're not on the guest list.

You must be illiterate. Give me that.

This can't be it.

Where's the real list? I drove too far to be insulted like this.

Calm down.

It's probably an oversight.

You better fix it before we get loud up in here.

Louder than you are now?

I'm going to let you and your party in.

You're going to call it even, okay?

Hey, it sounds fair to me. Don't act like you're doing me no favor. My name

supposed to be on this list.

That's why I'm letting you and your party in.

You know, I don't like your attitude.

If my name is not good enough to be on this list, then I don't want anything.

sponsor. Come on, girls. We're out of here.

Russell Simmons, president and CEO of

Def Jam Records.

Russell, wouldn't it be fair to say that you have a really good eye for new

talent? I would say that. Run DMC and Onyx and Method Man and Chase and Foxy

Brown. Yeah.

Naomi. Linda. Oh, yeah.

Carol. Hi, Mr. Simmons. You know, I love Onyx, and I love Joan Crosby. Really

great work.

Fantastic. This is Carol, and she happens to manage a guy group. Yes, and

are here ready to sing for you right now.

I don't think we should do that now. Oh, Crosby, come on. Live on MTV?

All right.

Let me see what they got.

You know, they're really not my group. They're my boyfriend's group. He's from

New York. Maybe you've heard of him. Quincy Jones?

Next on Moesha.

I'm going to take a taste of your pussy.

I'm giving up.

Last on Moesha.

Oh, no, he didn't.

Oh, yeah.

with the drumming.

Say,

bro, say, how much is this?

Man, I got a fan of this demo tape.

I know you owe me, too.

Look, Ebony, I got to be straight with you. Hold that thought.

I think I just saw Maxwell. I'll be right back.

What's up, shorty? See you here feeding with the big dogs.

And just what kind were you feeding me?

You know that ain't Russell Simmons my cousins are singing for.

You're Rush, they dope, right?

Chill, buddy.

Who were you talking to?

Shh, Russell was listening. And so am I.

Well, I'm the man you need to talk to. Who are you?

I'm the manager.

Oh, no, I can't mess. I was dealing with her, man.

What are you saying? No, I'm sorry.

Call me back.

Stan, why you didn't call me back?

It's the kids. It's the kids.

Y 'all going right here.

1995 down.

It'll be $19 .95, sister.

Okay, look, here's $10, you know, because we already missed half the

You better dig a little deeper or else you're going to miss the second half,

too.

You don't want to do that, too?

Y 'all watch.

Ah, best show me.

You got no way to hook us up.

Business is business.

Five over, five over.

I'll tell you what. Why don't you just give me those exotic earrings of yours

and we got ourselves a deal.

Five over. Five over.

I hope they don't clash with your greed.

Baby, greed goes with everything.

I'm like that hat.

Where are you going to have to? Because I put in the most money, so I'm going in

first. What about me?

Well, you know, don't worry about it. When I get in...

Throw the ticket stub out the bathroom window, too. It would have been done.

Then I would be a bad friend, you know?

Enjoy the great concert.

Running a little late, aren't you?

Fashionably.

You got that right.

That outfit would have been the thing at last year's concert.

I better get going.

This ticket is for the 1995 Megafest.

You seem to be hearing him.

Here's the closed caption version.

No!

Where's the moon?

Where?

I'm begging you.

Cut, cut, cut.

Honey, you can't act.

But that's not to say Martin Lawrence couldn't have used you in a thin line.

Now get on out of here before I arrest you for malnutrition.

I'm talking generation.

Yeah, you know what? You're right. I don't even know why I'm sprung over this

boy.

I'm going to take a page from your book, Macy. I'm giving up now.

Well, since you're in the good giving mood, can I have my stuff?

I don't have one.

Dang!

Oh, y 'all, that's my town!

Excuse me, ladies, but I believe you're in the wrong limo.

I'm sorry, but I think you're mistaken. But this is our limo, but you can feel

free to join us anytime.

That would be nice, but that is my camera up there, right?

Sorry.

Great. First we lose our tickets, now we done lost our limo.

You guys ever been in here?

I have, but they haven't.

I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna hook you up.

Come on.

Stop right there.

Didn't I tell you not to move unless I said so?

Sit down.

Hey, Rosie, can I get me some neat?

That's it. All of this whining?

It's really getting on my nerves.

Those droughts, they're bad. Better for you than pizza.

But they're frozen.

Well, then just take some toothpicks and turn them into popsicles.

And then I want you to take your butt upstairs and go to bed.

Thank you.

Be in love and the like. Life ain't all that unless you're doing it right.

Now who from the chosen shall I choose?

Yeah, now you wish you wasn't this.

I found me a new dish here. Dad knows how to handle this here. Now I look

forward to going home at night. Brother, dust me right under the candlelight.

Wax up on my back.

Ain't that my tail over there in Moe's Grill?

So what?

I don't know, man. I was just looking out for it, brother.

What?

I found my girl.

I'll be seeing you around, okay?

Oh, look.

Would you mind...

Quick pictures?

Sure. Thank you.

Thanks a lot, kid. Yo, remember, stay in school.

That's how we do it.

Tag,

yo. How did I get so messed up?

It all started when you said you could get nine people in on four tickets.

Okay, so the Mac was whack.

And there's the small thing of that big -headed girl on your arm.

Come on, Mo. Come on with you.

Then why are you scared to be with me, Kim?

I'm scared.

I'm not the one talking about, don't come to my house after five.

Meet me up the street.

Beat me on Kim's pager.

Until you tell your daddy about us, you can't talk to me about being scared.

Come on.

Where? If I tell you, you might just run.

I ain't running.

Then come on now.

How did this night get so messed up?

It started with Q saying he'd get 900 people in on four tickets.

Well, it's about time y 'all came to get us. Man, we out of here.

Well, Q, can we have your tickets?

Uh -huh.

We were

in

there. Yeah, we were just putting my coat in the car.

after set over at billboard live yeah yeah they're gonna continue to mix over

there lisa can my friends go with us no oh well see you when i see you

so so what you want to do you want to hit your ride to the after set

no i want to see a concert hey did you guys get your record deal

uh no well at least you got to see the concert

And we want to be the concert.

And we want to be the audience we want y 'all to represent.

It's not the pale moon that

excites me, that

thrills or delights me.

Oh, no.

It's just the...

It isn't your sweet conversation

that brings.

Did she say that?

This conversation.

Frank, this is wonderful.

Honey, we need to do this more often.

Yeah, Frank, and next time, don't forget to fight love. Yeah, she missed out on

an exciting evening.

No, I didn't.

Mrs. Mitchell.

Do you know him?

He just happens to be one of my students.

Hi, Q.

What's up, Antel? Do you know him, too?

Yeah, he happens to be one of my customers.

I'm so cool.

Everything is everything.

Do you know him?

Yeah, I love detention.

This is Quentin Brooks, my boyfriend.

to

peach it.

Miles, put that down.

You know you're not supposed to be eating junk food this time of the night.

Honey, it gives you nightmares.

No, the nightmare was that babysitter you left me with.

She was mean to me.

Is that right?

What'd she do to you, Miles?

She made me sit down, be quiet, and eat vegetables.

She's in there sleeping on the job.