Original subtitles

Some days, I just don't like my body, especially my butt.

Yesterday, it seemed fine, but today, it's enormous.

Although I love to trim off a few inches, I will never resort to acts of

starvation, liposuction, diet pills, or boycotting my glazed donuts.

Luckily, I picked up some camouflaging techniques from Vibe magazine.

Say no stripes.

No polka dot and no scuba's yellow.

Hey, Miles, come here.

Does my butt look big?

Yeah. Get out, butt the slime.

Now.

And some days, you're so insecure, even a biological mystic can get to you.

What does myth mean?

I don't know, man. I'm just rhyming. Man, you can't sacrifice knowledge for

rhyme.

Dang, girl, I really like Independence Day, especially when the...

East Coast rudeness going on. He on the West Coast now, he better recognize.

What's this?

Oh, look, y 'all. They decided to drop the annual list.

Uh -oh, Kim.

What? They voted you biggest mouth.

Again. That's what, three years in a row?

One more and you can hang up your lips with pride.

They don't know what they're talking about. I don't have a big mouth. Do I? I

can't. Nah, your head just small.

Oh, it's times like this I'm glad I'm an adult.

devoted you most likely to revoke your credit. Oh, they

voted her the president and the

CEO of the itty bitty. Don't say it.

Wouldn't care if I was.

You really wouldn't care? No.

I'm not gonna let some immature, pimple -faced, can't -buy day boys project

their insecurities onto me. Then I guess you won't mind picking up your biggest

butt award. What?

Oh, no, they didn't put my name on this list.

Don't worry about it, Mo.

We'll get to the bottom of this.

Something smells good.

Just trying to tell you something, big brother.

Like what?

Apparently, if you were a dummy in a drive -by, no one would get hurt.

Conscious for fertility, Frank.

Says who?

My mother. And we're just going to have to keep using home remedies until you

decide to make an appointment with our doctor. Our doctor? Nothing. Dee, I told

you, I don't need a checkup or a remedy.

Your man is clicking on all cylinders.

Focus your attention on exhibit A and exhibit B.

We'll talk about this later, Frank.

Hey, Jefferson.

Hey, man.

Yeah, when I saw Uncle Bernie's pinto outside, I said I better get over here

before he ate up all the grub.

That's no pinto. That's an ale dog.

Act like you know.

Yeah, well, all I know is that your dog is on the way to the pound. Yeah, the

impound. A tow truck got in about a throat right now.

that I've just spent the past two hours preparing?

No, I'm just cutting back, you know, changing my lifestyle.

Trying to eat healthy. Yeah, trying to starve your name off that list.

Can somebody pass me the gravy and Moe's steak, please?

Why don't you shut up? What list, Pumpkin? No list, Daddy. Yeah, Moe got

biggest butt.

Told you, Bertha.

Frank, every year these boys put out this list where they categorize the

by their body part.

Oh, that list.

Yeah, we used to do that.

And I always thought it was deplorable.

Disgusting.

Moesha, you're fine just the way you are. Yeah, that's right, baby.

Now, don't you ever let anybody tell you that you're not all right.

That you don't measure up. That you don't have what it takes.

Baby, you're a Mitchell.

With a big butt.

Excuse me, miss.

Hold up, bro. Let me finish this up. You're messing up my clothing.

Why don't you get out of there before you hurt yourself, huh?

I know what I'm doing, okay?

So you must know that you're in the back.

You know, I was just making sure that you knew.

Moisa Mitchell, trainer, spot checker. Keep up the good work. Ooh, really good

work.

Your job at Mary Kay is looking better and better.

Moisa Mitchell.

Mm -hmm. I thought you weren't gonna let any pimple -faced boy project their

insecurities onto you.

I'm not. You know, I'm a Mitchell. I feel good about myself.

Girl, quit perpetrating. You know you here because you a crowned biggest

Thank you for reminding me, biggest mouth.

Well, uh, I'm gonna go get my workout on, okay? Because I want to be on

somebody's biggest list next year.

Come to church with me here.

When are we going to stop?

Well, then you can't eat in my house until you become one.

Oh, now, see, where you got to go to, Moe?

Playing with a brother's food.

Look, look, Moe, I'm not calling out any names, okay?

His initials are Q.

RQ?

Randy Quinn?

You over there, escape from New York Q.

Let's get him.

I heard you wrote this.

Not my flavor, shorty. I just want to know who died and made you the authority

on the women in our school.

Which one of you?

Let me guess.

Must be big as butt.

Dang, I know you ain't gonna let him call you out like that.

He must be big as mouth.

Think of a deal.

Oh, but it is.

Everybody shut up.

Look at this sweater, kid.

In some countries, that's a sign of wealth.

And what is that supposed to mean?

It means you ought to get that butt FDIC insured.

Hello?

Frank, Bernie, this is my friend Beverly. And Beverly, she's a... Ooh,

me guess.

You're either a teacher or a solid gold dancer.

Actually, I'm a physician.

Oh, a dancing doctor.

Um, Bernie, would you, um, excuse us? Frank and I need to talk with Beverly.

-mm, Bernie, you stay right where you are. I smell a set -up.

Mm, I smell boudoir.

And I smell high karate.

A connoisseur.

Bernie. Bernie, please. This is private. Come on, Dee. We family. What could be

so private?

Bernie.

Oh, I see.

Goodbye, Bernie. Yeah, but you know, Doc, what he has to run in the family.

think I should make a date?

I mean, an appointment?

No!

Doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor.

alone at last. Now we can talk. No, no, no. Now wait just a minute.

Look, no offense, Doctor, but we have nothing to talk about now. I hope you

didn't waste your time.

Frank. Dee.

Frank. Dee. Well, actually, this is turning into a Frank and Dee

When you're ready to talk, you know where to find me.

Hey, Doc.

Got a ride in a semi -three -year -old Toronto?

Frank, I can't believe you did that. No, no, no. I can't believe you, Dee.

How can you embarrass me like that?

Frank.

Frank.

And I think you got voted most likely to marry Kim Parker.

Give me that.

Oh, no.

I thought I was your boy.

Then why is my name on this list? Look, you may be her boy, but you my man. I

came up with that key.

Well, you can put me on this list to be most likely to transfer schools because

some girl won't leave you alone.

Who is she? I will take care of her.

Her initials are KP.

R -K -P.

Let's just go, man, before she explodes.

What's this?

Oh, I see you found our little list.

I'm least likely to generate an intelligent conversation?

What's that supposed to mean?

Acute means our list is true. But don't get offended, because in some countries,

that's a sign of stupidity.

You sure you don't even know me to judge me?

And like you knew me to judge me?

I ain't write your little list, because if I wrote your list...

Just be at Bombay tonight.

Excuse me?

Only ask once.

You didn't ask at all.

Do you believe him? Girl, he's just lashing out because his beard is all

Hope he doesn't think that roughneck disposition is cute. Because it's not.

That's the way it really goes.

And this will soon be played and tried to hear what the main page of the main

page of the main page of the top of the main page of the top of this stuff will

not be played on this type of question. Sit there trying to record all the

everything in your life. And you will try to remember.

Sit there and be the sand bearer. And the wizard sitting there with all kinds

snowballs clawing on you. And you know, I don't know y 'all. I don't have a mom.

I need you. I didn't buy you. Sit there. Hold up the face for me. I'm removing

your tissues. God, I missed you a whole lot before I saved you. Move slow.

Move slow.

Here's the flow.

Yo, what's up, it's Liam.

Junebug, girlie.

Oh, oh, oh, don't act like you just forgot my name.

Hey, Waterbug, Ladybug, Pitterbug, whatever people call you named after you

leave me alone.

Yo, wait a minute. It doesn't have to be like that, huh?

Give a brother a hug.

Don't make me turn on the lights and you'll go to behind.

Oh, Q, oh, snap, slim with you. Oh, hey, my bad, hey, hey.

I know you didn't tell him I was with you. No, told him there was a two -drink

minimum.

Sure, you're here just in time. I'm going up there next.

Word up. Q, I did not come here to see.

Yeah, whatever, sis.

Mo, look, they all serious about their rapping, okay? Ain't nobody trying to

party. So, uh, can we get out of here?

Yeah, girl, this is a big major mistake. Hey,

y 'all, look who I found. You know,

what's poppin', baby?

Hey, my finger suit.

Um, let's go someplace and dance.

Yo, this rhyme is dedicated to you. Yo, Shorty, no doubt this rhyme is for you.

My name is Q, the new kid coming through. You got it in your eyes. You

feel inside. You better recognize.

Forget them other guys. You make me high like Tony Braxton. When I be maxing, I

think your body is banging. Jenny Jackson, Rock Chalk the Lyrical Fist.

A nigga woke up. I get real with mine.

Every time when I rhyme, I shine.

Boy, I had a cute fly.

Shitty eye.

No doubt. All my brothers, we hit the live. We get ill.

Intellect's poop.

I'm laid back like Snoop. They've been absolute.

To where you at? To where you at? Or where your mind at?

What you talking about? I'm not scared of anything.

All right, look here. I fear so.

What? I know you're worried, man.

But just think how Dee must feel, man.

Hold on, hold on, man. She don't know what's happening.

Or if it's ever gonna happen.

You already have two kids.

Now, wait, Bernie. I ain't in your business, big brother. But I think you

least owe it to her, man, to go see what's happening.

Oh, man.

38 years of complete and utter foolishness, and you picked tonight to

Well, I was just pacing myself.

So you gonna go?

Yeah, yeah.

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Whoa, whoa. I know you'd be. Now, what's in this for

you? Dean said I could take it to your appointment.

Good night, Bernard. Come on, man. Come on, man. Come on, man. Just do me a

favor, man.

Make sure you're the last patient of the day.

That way, me and Dr.

Feelgood can segue into a happy -hollow situation.

I don't want to hear it. Come on, man.

LQ, thank you for walking me to my cousin's house.

I'm not rushing. I'm just helping you out.

Isn't your transfer about to expire?

Are you going to play me out like that after I walked you all the way to your

cousin's house?

Nobody asked you to.

No. I did it because I wanted to.

Just like you came to the club to see me because you wanted to.

Don't flatter yourself.

But anyway, you're doing a set up at Long Beach tomorrow.

Meet me out front at 730. You can roll with us.

Now, what makes you think I would roll anywhere with you?

Hey, baby girl, look alive. Daddy be happy. Bye.

You better hip -hop out of here, food snicker.

Mom, who was that?

Nobody.

What's nobody's name?

Daddy, there's nothing going on. He's just a boy from school.

Baby, you know I have to meet anybody you date.

That's why there's no need to meet this one, Daddy. Good night.

All right. See you, babe, girl.

Big brother, you and Dee will be way ahead of the game, man, if you just go

and adopt a college student.

I'm telling you, man, I'm going, man. All right, man, I'll talk to you, baby.

There you are.

I've been looking for you.

Oh.

Well, what's on your mind?

Well, there's something that I'd like to say.

Shh.

Be out front at 730, kid.

Please, like I'm supposed to jump because he can flow a little bit?

I can't believe I let him follow me home.

And what's with that phony New York accent?

He's probably never even been there.

Bet he's from Cleveland, Mississippi.

Dang, I can't stand him.