Original subtitles

Dear Diary, I think Saturn's new vinyl smell is depleting my daddy's brain

cells. That brain's a different kind of guy.

Last week, he sold a car to a kid from my old playgroup.

Then it hit it.

Every kid in that playgroup is about 16 now.

Or as he put it, first Saturn age.

I tried to explain to him that teenagers aren't like Pavlov's dogs.

You can't honk just any car horn and think we'll start salivating.

It has to be the right car, you know what I'm saying?

Something worthy of cruising the shop. Hey, can I have everybody's attention?

This is Veronica, and today she bought her first car, a Saturn.

But of course, he didn't listen to me.

So in his latest attempt to sell Saturn, he's hosting a reunion party for my

playgroup tonight.

I guess things could be worse.

We could be vacationing in Saturn Village.

I've got a little surprise for my family.

This summer, we're going to be vacationing in Spring Hill, Tennessee,

known as Saturn Village.

You should have asked that before you tried to check my oil.

No, no, I just grabbed her. It was an honest mistake. Look, I thought she was

you.

No, no, I didn't think she was you. I didn't think she was her either.

Frank, this is Mrs. Thomas, our new housekeeper.

Housekeeper? When did we get a housekeeper?

Hey, Mrs. Thomas.

Good morning, Mrs. Thomas. Good morning, kids.

I'm sure everybody knows but me, huh?

Dee, can I talk to you?

You got a maid?

A housekeeper, Frank.

Oh, well, thanks for keeping me informed. And since when did we need a

housekeeper? Since you dropped an intimate party for 30 on me. Honey, I

too, you know. Oh, come on. What's the big deal? I mean, how many people does

take to put some cheese on a cracker?

I assume that one of the many reasons you married me is because I have class

you have potential.

So you can just forget about the cheese on the cracker, the weenies on the

sticks, oh, and those hot... Hotpockets, you are so fond of. Wait a minute,

what's wrong with Hotpockets?

I take it back. You don't have potential.

Good morning, Kenfolk.

Hi,

Hakeem. Hey, what's happening, Miss Thomas? Even he knew?

That information was on a need -to -know basis.

Tell Daddy, do I have to be here for the party tonight?

Ooh, I'll be there. No, you won't, and yes, you do, baby.

Now, Pumpkin, you're the reason I'm having this party.

Daddy. I didn't ask you to have his party.

Moesha, I think what your father is trying to say is, if you are not here,

people will know that the only reason he is throwing this little playgroup

reunion is to sell cars.

Does that about sum it up, honey? Totally.

Oh.

See ya. All right, baby. Bye -bye.

Bye -bye. Now, come on, Pumpkin. It'll be fun, baby.

Look, you get a chance to meet all your old friends. You can talk about the good

old days.

Oh, I can see it now. You know, reminiscing about eating paste.

Pulling tails off of lizards?

Wetting our pants?

Daddy, I can't wait.

Oh, come on, Pumpkin. Hey, what about that boy that you couldn't do without?

know, the one you used to always try to bring home? Now, I know you can't wait

to see him.

Daddy, what are you talking about? Nobody's even thinking about Matt. Oh,

that his name? I couldn't remember.

I just don't want to be here tonight at the party, because all you're going to

do is embarrass me. Oh, baby, what are you talking about?

Oh, go ahead, baby.

Recite one of them poems.

Yeah, Miles, do you mind? Michael Jackson. Yeah, his all -time favorite. I

get out my house.

I'm gone.

I reach for the stars I can.

I strive for the heavens. I have a plan.

People wonder how far I will go.

But this is my journey. I will not aim low. That's my baby.

I'll get it.

Come on, son, do your Michael Jackson thing.

I can't. I don't have my glove.

Oh, come on.

Hey,

know the jam get started yet? Yeah.

Dad and Dee have already jammed me up for two poems and a sonnet. But you

it around.

Believe that.

Who was Jason Dupree?

Who? You remember Jason Dupree?

The one with the big brown eyes?

that cute little old butt?

Kim, when we were watching Sesame Street, what were you watching?

Jason's butt.

Don't get your hopes up, because you remember that kid on Wonder Years? He

up to look just like Jay Leno.

No, not Jason.

He puts the four in four.

So, is Matt coming tonight?

Why does everybody keep asking me about him?

Dang, Mo, don't get all postal.

You know Matt.

be your boy toy.

We were five, you freak.

Whatever.

Oh, now, come on, girl. You remember me.

Red Rover, Red Rover.

Yeah, I was the one telling you to come over.

Hey, Mr. Mitch.

Excuse me.

Are you doing in my house?

Snacking and macking.

Yeah, well, you better start tracking, because I told you not to be here. Oh,

you were serious about that? Yes, I was.

Mr. Mitchell, you tell me to get out your house every day.

How am I supposed to know when you mean it? Look. Hold that thought.

Hey, girl. Hey. You remember me?

Red Rose. Red Rose.

Excuse me. Are you Jason?

That must be him because baby got back.

stay away from the, you know, the refrigerator magnets.

All right.

Kim?

Jason, is that you?

Yes. And what you been up to? Well, I just got back from a semester abroad.

Paris, the city of lights.

Excuse me, where are you going, young lady? Oh, I'm going upstairs to write

more poems. I'm running a little low on material.

Well, answer the doorbell, please, and then get me some more ice.

Thank you.

Hi, Momo.

Oh, my goodness.

Hold up, it's me, Matt. I know who you are.

Then why isn't this a Kodak moment?

I'm so tired, Matt. Why don't you go mingle with the other guests?

This is about your Cabbage Patch doll, isn't it? No, it isn't.

Since you brought it up, why did you let Bobby Williams tear off her head? I

thought this would... All you had to do was bum -rush him, but you let the

brother run right past you and dung my doll's head into the fishbowl.

It's not funny, Matt.

I was the first one on my block to ever adopt a Cabbage Patch, and you let her

get disfigured for life.

Okay, I was wrong.

Please forgive me.

I'll try.

All right, we cool now? No.

Now what did he do? Park your big wheel in the red zone.

You moved away.

I mean, one day we were making some serious mud pies, and the next day you

didn't show up.

Girl, you need to let it go.

No, my father was in the Army.

He transferred to Georgia.

Well, you could have called.

I was five.

I didn't even know how to tie my own shoelaces.

You were my best friend, though.

And you were mine.

And I thought about you for a long time.

You're right. No joke. I even asked Santa to bring you a new Cabbage Patch

Sure you did.

Did you get one?

Yeah. That was me.

Can we start over?

Hi, Matt.

Hi, Moesha.

It's so good to see you. You too.

Mrs. Mitchell, I've finished up in the kitchen. I've rolled the trash cans out

to the curb. Anything else? No, that'll do it.

Thank you. You're welcome.

You know, baby, I've been thinking. It might not be such a bad idea to have

Thomas come around every now and then.

By the way, Fridays are good for me.

Eight o 'clock, all right? Yep. See you next week. Good, all right.

Wait a minute.

You already hired her?

You just told me to.

And I always do what you tell me to, Frank.

Mo, you decided to come back.

No, I just walked Matt to his car.

Oh, what's so funny?

Nobody's thinking about Matt.

You have a point, Daddy.

No, he doesn't. He's just trying to get in your business. So what's going on

between you and Matt?

Oh, don't be silly, Dee. They're just friends. Ain't nothing going on.

Oh, well, not until Saturday night, because we're going out.

Oh. For what?

Daddy, you know, I know it's been a while, but you know when two people want

spend more time together, they go on a thing called a date.

Come on, Mo, don't play with me.

A date.

Why, is there something wrong with Matt?

No, but there's something wrong with you dating him.

Right, D?

Where are you going with this, Frank?

Yeah, I'd like to hear more, too.

I mean, I'm not saying that you can't date him, baby, but you're black

and he's white.

There, I said it.

and stepped in it, too.

Oh, come on, Dee. Don't do me like this, baby. You know I don't care about

color. No, it's the lack of color that seems to be bothering you.

I don't want anything to happen to you, baby, just because some crazy person out

there has something to prove.

Pumpkin, you're the only daughter I've got.

You know, it's pretty ironic.

You put me in that playgroup so I can learn to get along with different types

people. And when I do, you start bugging. No, no, no, baby, I am not

It's just that I have a few more years on you. But, Daddy, things are different

now. Yeah, they're different, baby. They're worse.

Instead of Abraham, Martin, and John, now we got Rush, Clarence, and Newt.

So I guess your motto is, if you can't beat them, join us. No, no, that's not

what I'm saying, baby. Good night, Daddy. I'm going to bed.

Mo.

You understand what I'm trying to say, right?

Yes, I do.

So you agree with me.

Good night, Frank. I'm going to bed.

Are you sure you don't need any help?

How hard can it be?

I do need a little help, huh?

All right.

Let me show you how to line up the shot.

Go ahead,

try it.

Ooh, got it. Hey, Matt.

Hey, what's up? You going to the game tomorrow?

Uh, maybe.

Patricia, this is Moesha.

Hi.

Your hair is so pretty. You do that yourself?

Well, actually, I...

Matt, you know that party doogie?

Oh, yeah.

But Moesha and I have plans.

Really?

Oh, you're together.

That's so cute.

Well, if your plans have changed, you know where to find me.

Bye, Matt.

Nice meeting you, Moses.

That's Moesha.

Sorry about the airhead.

That's okay. I'm having too much fun to sweat the dump. Let's go check on our

food.

Jason.

Perfect.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Do you know he has a perfect 4 .0 grade average?

So? As a couple, you average out to a C.

I'm serious, girl. I've never dated anyone so perfect. On the way over here,

policeman stops us and gives them a way to go good driving certificate.

It's hell, Whitney.

I mean, you got a good guy and you wanted one, so just be... Happy and play

pool. I wish. I haven't had a shot yet.

Minnesota fathead has missed one.

Rock on.

What are you talking about, man? You got three balls on the table.

This isn't our order.

That's your order. But it is a right. Look, I don't want any trouble here,

Number 28.

I am so sorry. Next one on me.

Did you see that?

Yeah. Excuse me, miss. I believe we have a problem. You just mixed up our order

with the two... No.

I believe you're the one that's mixed up.

What's that supposed to mean?

No, no, no, wait a minute.

I'd like to speak to your manager.

I am the manager.

Let's go.

I believe I've had better service at Denny's.

Man,

why you fading out?

And even if she wasn't with him, she wouldn't be with you.

And besides, man, like the song says, it's a free country.

What song is that?

Man, I don't know, man.

And this place is cool. I told you it was bumping.

You know what, Mo? Jason might work out after all. For real?

See, I'm going to use Jason to make Hakeem jealous.

Hey, Hakeem. Hey, what up, y 'all?

Hakeem, you remember Jason?

My date?

Your date?

Go Russell.

What are you doing tomorrow?

I don't know. You okay?

Hey, man,

you got a problem?

I was about to ask you the same. Hold it, Freddy, man. If you're trying to

something with Moe, you know I ain't happy.

You better tell Opie to apologize.

Opie? Hey, Freddy, why are you tripping?

You're the one who's tripping.

one slam dancing.

I just ain't gonna let nobody disrespect me.

And I'm not gonna let nobody disrespect my place. Everybody is welcome to hang

out here, but if you think... Hey, aren't you Miss Gaines' grandson,

Yeah.

Well, I go to church with your grandmother, and I think she'd be very

in hearing your definition of respect.

Drop that beat.

You all right, Mo?

I think you should ask Matt that.

No, no, I'm cool.

Look, it's getting kind of late. You ready to go, Mo?

Yeah. I'll talk to you guys later.

Mo, you want me to ride shotgun home with you or something?

That's right, because Freddy will try to clack him on a snake.

Yeah. No, I'm straight.

I'll talk to you all later.

Well, thanks.

No, thank you.

I had an interesting time.

Hey, you want to come in?

No, no, I should get home.

Me too.

Oops, I am at home, huh?

Why did that feel like goodbye?

Bye, Matt.

Bye, Moesha.

Hi, Mo. You came back early.

Yeah, how'd it go, baby?

You okay?

Yeah.

No.

There are some real tripped out people out there, man.

You know, when Matt and I were five, everything was cool.

Out of everyone in that playgroup, he was the one I liked hanging with the

I wonder when my world became so black and white.

If I could take back the last few days, would I?

Nah. I can't let the ignorant attitudes of a few dictate what I do.

Who knows?

Maybe Matt and I will see each other again.