Original subtitles

Hello.

Hey, Larry, come here. Listen to this.

Rockwood Steel, 43 and a half, down two.

Ranacoma Copper, 77, down four.

Boy, the market's really slipping.

How's your American can?

Oh, that's slipping, too.

But Pinpoint Pimple is up six.

It is?

Squeezing.

Hey,

fellas, come here.

What do you want? Moe, you should be looking through the one -ats for a job.

Yeah, we haven't had a decent meal in days.

Well, if you wait just one more minute, you're liable to get some food. Check

the dinner, see if it's done. Check the dinner, see if it's done.

Look what we're down to.

Fill your soul and heal.

That looks delicious to me.

Oh, delicious.

Hey, I'll tell you what.

Larry, you brown it. Joe, grease your pan.

What are you going to do? I'm going to relax.

I think this is silly.

me to grease my pan.

You stoop. Wipe your face.

I'll set the table. I don't care what you say. We need a job.

Okay, okay. I'll try to find us a job. Even if it kills me. You probably will.

No! Hey, fellas!

Hey, fellas!

Hey,

it's raining.

Hey, it's a good thing I saved the paper. Oh, you sneak.

Cut it out.

Listen to this.

Wanted three sailors for adventurous cruise.

Apply Professor Rimple, 60 Bayview Road.

Hey, that's only down the road a piece. Well, let's go. Let's get the job. Okay,

come on.

Wait for me, fellas. I've got something.

house that professor lives in yeah contemporary modern i think the

got a pointed head oh dear

father

i hope these men don't refuse the job like the other applicants did john boy

these men we will tell nothing close the curtains that's good now they

don't see anything

Come in.

Good morning. Did you advertise for some sailors? Yes.

Could you read a log?

Oh, we read logs, signs on fence posts, comic books.

No, no, no. You see, what I... Wait a minute.

What's our remuneration?

Never mind that. What's our salary?

Oh, the salary.

Three hundred dollars a month.

Three hundred?

Hey, how much is that a day, Joe?

Just a second.

A dollar ninety -eight.

Exactly what I figured. Good thinking, kid. The old IBM is still going great.

Now listen, don't let him bluff us.

Father, I think these men have lost their marbles. That's good, that's good.

That's why they don't ask too many questions.

Uh, gentlemen, who came in?

I have decided what I am going to hire you. We will shove off immediately.

If not sooner, my daughter Lisa will take care of you. Lisa? All right, boys,

roll up your sleeves. I'll be right back.

Boy, we got a job.

We got a job. We got a job.

Get out of here.

What did you do that for?

You hater. Roll up your right sleeve. Come on. Maybe we'll get a tattoo.

Yeah, I'll put a battleship on mine.

That's for your chest. I'm going to have darling sweetheart.

I'll love you forevermore, my honey. All right, boys, take these pills.

Anything for you, cutie. I had heartburn anyhow.

What's the matter? You afraid?

Yes.

Oh, chicken, eh? Come on.

It's an earthquake. It's an earthquake.

This is not an earthquake.

The ship has just embarked.

Ship? This is no ship.

Of course it is. It's a spaceship.

Spaceship?

I'm getting out of here.

Good grief, we're above the world.

Wait a minute.

He will all be killed!

Killed?

I think so, but we're approaching Zunoff.

Wait until you see Zunoff.

It is the most beautiful in my life. I have never... This is the most... I

wonder what it looks like.

So do we. Come on.

I don't see Zunoff. Look!

That's a big funny looking bird. And he's laying eggs all over the sky.

Dozens of them. Boy, I hope they're straight.

And the sooner we leave, the better we'll like it.

Father. Yes? Father, the air test gauge shows the air outside to be the same as

on Earth.

Oh, smog. Good.

Then we will not need the space helmets. Pardon me, please. Gentlemen, I want

you to go out and explore this planet and see what you can find. But pay

attention to flora and fauna. Oh, boy.

Danes, girls.

What's up? What's wrong?

this place very carefully. Keep an eye open for flora and fauna. Yeah, I'll

them both open.

Hey, this joint looks deserted.

In fact, I think it's uninhabited. And there's nobody lives here either.

What a wonderful place for a honeymoon.

Where would you get coffee?

at Elvis Presley.

You like to smooch with nice men?

Aye, aye, aye. The eyes have it. Aye, aye, aye.

a kiss.

Let's teach them. I know all about it. When I walk down the street, all the

girls say, look at that kisser.

Yeah, come on, let's teach them.

Aye, aye, aye.

Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.

Who's teaching who?

Father, you must go and save them. Yeah, I go right about you. What?

And get eaten by those innocents?

Now, I tell you what I do. I go warn the boys.

Here, look there.

Now, hear this.

Those women are wild.

They are vampires.

Be careful, or they will love you to death.

Love you to death? What a wonderful way to die.

You know, Uncle Peter died that way.

Took the undertaker two days to wipe the smile off his face.

No. Yes.

Ah, that professor's silly.

These innocent kids wouldn't hurt a fly.

They're sweet as babies.

and you'll kiss her. What a fine time to joke.

It gives me great pleasure to have the honor of presenting to you this

distinguished award.

You have won first prize for being the biggest liars in the world today.

Won't you say a few words, please?

Fellow liars.

One fool at a time.

Go ahead.

Receive.