Original subtitles

What's the idea, you guys?

Go to 6th Main Street's armored car held up.

Surround area and search for three men who made their getaway on foot.

Use caution. They are heavily armed.

Who's in that can?

Just garbage.

Hey, what's that on the stool?

Must be a stool pigeon.

I know you pulled that car robbery.

Hey, you, sit down in that chair.

The hot seat. They can't fry me for nothing.

Be brave, kid. It'll be over in a minute. And we'll see that you get a

-off. Shut up.

That's a lie detector.

Oh, no, no.

Here,

hold that.

If you tell the truth, that pen will travel in a straight line. But if you

a lie, we'll know it.

Have you ever been to jail before?

Why, of course not.

That's a lie.

Just as I thought.

Have you any visible means of support?

Sure. I got suspenders.

So you have.

Oh! I mean, have you guys got a job?

Why, certainly, Captain. We work at the Elite Cafe.

We? You mean I do all the work. Check on that, Jackson. Yes, sir.

questions I want to ask you. Me?

Yes, and so have I.

Did you or did you not take that quarter out of my shoe last night? On my honor,

Moe, I didn't do it.

Oh,

a chisel, Paige.

That's enough.

Break it up.

Now then, what were you doing at 11 o 'clock last night?

I don't know.

What were you doing at 11 o 'clock?

Uh, I was at a lodge meeting.

The last question seems to have broken the machine, Captain.

What's that?

We didn't do it, Captain.

You're wasting our time.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come back here.

You know, I wish we could figure a way out of this mess.

Yeah, well, it ain't gonna be easy, I'll tell you that.

Oh, I'm sorry, Moe.

What's the matter with you? I'll knock your... Hey, break it up.

How can you guys horse around when you know they're still trying to pin that

robbery on us?

You know, you're right. And those two guards from the armored car didn't help

any either.

How do you like those guys saying they didn't see the bandits clearly because

was too dark? That leaves us holding the bag.

Yeah, the only way we can get out is if they find the real crooks.

You know, I think I... Wait a moment.

Come on.

You know, Larry is right.

If we could only find those crooks, we'd be sitting on top of the world. You've

got nothing to worry about, pal. It's a cinch. Believe me, it's a cinch. Oh,

boy, that's wonderful. That's terrific. Oh, boy, we're practically got them.

Where are they? I don't know.

Come on, get in the kitchen. Get busy.

I'll have the cream -chip beef on toast. Right. Say, let me give you a tip, pal.

Our fried eggs are out of this world.

Could be, but I want cream -chip beef on toast. Anything you say, but you're

crazy if you don't order the fried eggs.

I want cream -chip beef on toast.

Right, the customer's always right.

Ordering two fried eggs over easy.

Hey, mister, don't go... Never mind, I'll eat them myself.

On those two fried eggs over easy, use the fresh ones this time.

Fried two over easy does it.

Wonder where the egg cutters are.

Oh.

Why, you... Shut up.

Don't... Whoa, whoa!

I'm sorry, sir.

Why, Captain Mullins, how are you?

Funny thing, I was just thinking about you.

Yeah, and I'm thinking about you right now.

And it could be murder.

Now, don't get excited, Cap. Here, sit right down and have something on the

house. Yeah, yeah, have something on the house. Right back here. Sit down.

Out of the draft.

Now, how about some nice vittles?

Chicken soup?

Here you are, Captain. A nice cup of hot coffee. An honest cap.

We're innocent of that robbery.

You ever see that guy before?

Hey, that's one of the guys who was in on the car robbery.

Yeah, I'd know him anywhere.

Gee, Cap, I hope you find him.

Hey, Cap, don't let your coffee get cold.

I'll get you a piece of pie.

This is on the house. Thanks.

Oh, you like it, eh?

That tastes like paint.

Paint.

What are you talking about?

It is paint.

That's the coffee.

This is better.

I'm sorry. We're ready to close. All we got left is some chicken soup, roast

beef, mashed potatoes and gravy.

I'll take that. Okay.

Oh, I forgot.

One chicken soup coming up. One chicken soup coming up.

Nice fresh chicken, too.

Fresh cat and soup coming up.

I beg your pardon.

Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

I was never there.

Oh,

cut it out now. Put up your hand. Why, there.

Hey, Mo.

Does that guy look familiar to you?

Yeah. He's one of the armored car robbers. Get him.

We'd better do something. Call the police. Well, what was his hurry? He

knocked me down.

He's one of the bank robbers.

What?

And he's getting away. If we only had a car.

Well, mine's outside. Come on.

Let's go.

miles we'd chase him, and you let him get away.

I couldn't help it. He was going pretty fast.

He turned off this road somewhere, I think. I tell you, he drove up to that

deserted house.

Deserted house? I don't like deserted houses. Why not? Maybe we'll get

Funny boy.

Hey,

we're going up and look around.

We're going up there. Not me. I'm going down there. Oh, you.

Come on.

We make a clean getaway and... These mugs put the finger on us.

What are we going to do, Lefty?

What do we usually do with guys that know too much?

Yeah, but how are we going to find them?

You expect them to walk right into our hands, do you?

Well, here we are.

Ring the bell.

The door's locked.

Well, what do we do?

They might be hiding somewhere in there.

Oh.

Spread out, you guys. Find something to pry this door open with.

It's thin.

Let him have it.

I don't see nothing.

Oh, a hunk of pipe.

This ought to do it.

I had a piece of pipe in my hand and it disappeared right out of my hands.

Maybe it's still in your hand. No.

Go away.

You had a hallucination.

No, I had a hunk of pipe.

You're all right. Come on.

You sit with me.

Hey, Shem, what's the matter? I wonder where Gladys went.

Why could she go? I don't know.

Gladys.

Gladys. Hey, fellas.

You think this will open it?

Swear. Where'd you get it? In the house. Oh.

In the house? Yeah. Can you use it? And how?

Come on, get going.

They're all in, Lefty. Shall I bump them off?

I think that's a job for Angel.

Angel.

Hmm?

Stranger's in the house.

Hmm? Hmm.

Hmm.

He'll do a nice, quiet job.

Should have stayed outside.

What's the matter with you? You're getting on my nerves. What's that?

That's a statue.

Oh, it must be Washington. He slept everywhere.

Gladys! Where can she be? Oh, Gladys.

Gladys! Gladys!

I can't... What's the matter with you?

Washington is gone.

So are you. Go ahead.

This joint gives me the creeps. Well, start creeping. We've got to find

This looks like a good place for a murder.

Quiet.

I'm glad you guys are behind me.

Hey, quit shoving me, will you?

I can't see a thing. It's so dark in there, I... Whoa!

Whoa.

Champ, is that you in there?

Hey, Mo, is that you?

Why, certainly.

Who are you expecting, Santa Claus?

Hey, Dad.

Pardon me.

Don't get excited. I'll let you in in a minute.

Boy, am I glad you came.

Did you see that big guy outside?

My head!

He got me!

He's dead?

No.

Hey,

that guy out in the wall looked like

Shemp. My God, you're right. It was Shemp. I'll get him.

Look on my shoulder. I want to get Shemp.

Oh.

Oh, boy, the money. We've got it. We've got the crooks from the clear.