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1
00:00:43,089 --> 00:00:44,069
Hold it.
2
00:00:44,070 --> 00:00:46,990
Right here's where we start to take the
census. I'll question the first one so
3
00:00:46,990 --> 00:00:49,070
you guys can get the hang of it. Then
you'll take the lower floors.
4
00:00:49,690 --> 00:00:52,170
Hey, incidentally, you fellas remember
what you were taught?
5
00:00:52,460 --> 00:00:56,820
Well, I... Yeah, I see you don't
remember. Well, we'll have to rehearse.
6
00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,120
you play the part of the husband of the
house. You play his wife. Oh, no, I
7
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:05,040
wouldn't be his wife. Why not? You're
not my type. All right, come on. Get in
8
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,860
there and pretend this is your house.
Come on.
9
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,240
Get a move on.
10
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,500
Get going in there.
11
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,480
Pardon me, madam. I was looking for my
two partners.
12
00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:30,560
Good morning. What is your name, please?
13
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:32,040
Shempetta Howard.
14
00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:33,440
Well, married or single?
15
00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:36,360
Married. This is my husband, the rat.
16
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:37,580
Cut it out.
17
00:01:37,860 --> 00:01:39,260
Tell me, sir, have you any children?
18
00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:43,020
No children.
19
00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:46,040
Where were you born, madam? In the
hospital.
20
00:01:46,860 --> 00:01:49,200
Hospital? Yes, I want to be near my
mother.
21
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,500
Is this your home state? No, we're from
the south.
22
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:54,940
Yeah. Hallelujah.
23
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:59,140
Oh, my God. Wait a minute. Please.
24
00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:00,860
What part of the south?
25
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:02,300
Montreal, Canada.
26
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,960
Mighty pretty country around there.
That's the home of the wild gooses and
27
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:07,960
boosers and the meesers.
28
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:08,839
And the mouses.
29
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:13,660
Come on. Go on. Get up. Hurry up now and
let's get going. We got plenty of work
30
00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:14,660
to do here.
31
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,640
By the way, where's our credentials?
32
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:17,819
In the safe.
33
00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:18,820
Oh.
34
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,400
What safe?
35
00:02:20,510 --> 00:02:21,510
In here.
36
00:02:22,970 --> 00:02:23,970
Larry, open it.
37
00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:31,310
April Fool, it's a musical powder box.
38
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,810
What do you know? A musical powder box.
39
00:02:36,270 --> 00:02:39,390
Musical powder. I'll get the credentials
myself.
40
00:02:41,430 --> 00:02:46,590
What is that? I rigged that up myself.
41
00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:49,110
Boy, it looks real natural.
42
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:50,960
And it's got baby blue eyes.
43
00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:54,420
April fool.
44
00:02:57,340 --> 00:02:59,460
Here, hold that. Thank you. There's
powder on it.
45
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:03,820
Hey, leave him alone, you. Quiet. Come
on, we're going to get some work done.
46
00:03:03,980 --> 00:03:06,520
Clean him up. Clean him up. That's it.
Clean him up. Good.
47
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,120
There you are.
48
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:09,480
Now, which way do we go?
49
00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:11,039
Where is everybody?
50
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,040
Oh, here he is.
51
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,080
Hello. All right.
52
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:16,240
Here's your book bag. All right.
53
00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:17,560
Here, here.
54
00:03:22,090 --> 00:03:25,930
Right, come on, get busy. We gotta earn
some money. Money, uh, money shrinks.
55
00:03:26,430 --> 00:03:28,950
So do you, every time you get near a
bathtub.
56
00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:32,350
Remember, we're census takers, not
ordinary idiots.
57
00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:33,690
That's right.
58
00:03:38,270 --> 00:03:40,690
How do you do? I don't want any. Wait a
minute.
59
00:03:41,010 --> 00:03:42,330
We're census takers.
60
00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:43,650
Oh.
61
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:55,820
Very well. Walk this way.
62
00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,040
You must excuse my place. We just moved
in.
63
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:07,240
Sure.
64
00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:09,060
What is your name, please?
65
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:11,820
Wyckoff. A little irritation in the
throat.
66
00:04:13,940 --> 00:04:15,560
As I said before, your name, please.
67
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:19,000
Wyckoff. Because he don't brush his
teeth, lady.
68
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:23,460
Your name, please.
69
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:29,550
Wyckoff. Excuse him, lady. He's got a
frog in his throat from eating
70
00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:35,170
Ouch! Ouch! Oh, let go of my ear. You'll
give me erysipelas.
71
00:04:35,490 --> 00:04:36,710
And quick clown. Oh!
72
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:41,030
You asked me my name. It's Wyckoff, Lucy
Wyckoff.
73
00:04:41,270 --> 00:04:42,270
Are you married?
74
00:04:42,510 --> 00:04:45,030
Yes. And I'm terribly upset and
frightened.
75
00:04:45,430 --> 00:04:47,670
Why? Because my husband's insanely
jealous.
76
00:04:47,890 --> 00:04:50,630
He almost killed a man. The man merely
spoke to me.
77
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:52,620
Adios. Toodle -oo. Goodbye.
78
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,440
Vega. Come back here.
79
00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,680
We're not finished, you cowards.
80
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,880
Now get busy.
81
00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:00,300
All right. What does your husband do?
82
00:05:00,660 --> 00:05:02,120
He's an expert in ledger domain.
83
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:06,740
Ledger domain. Oh, a bookkeeper. No,
he's a prestidigitator. Oh, a pants
84
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,760
presser. Are you guys ignorant?
85
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,460
Didn't you hear the lady say he presses
refrigerators? Oh.
86
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,180
No, no, no.
87
00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:18,780
We do an illusion act in Vaudeville.
He's a magician. He makes things
88
00:05:19,530 --> 00:05:21,350
I got an uncle who can make things
disappear.
89
00:05:21,630 --> 00:05:22,630
Is he a magician?
90
00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:24,170
No, he's a kleptomaniac.
91
00:05:30,690 --> 00:05:31,690
What's the matter?
92
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:48,720
It can't be, Larry.
93
00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:01,340
Moe!
94
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:06,400
Moe! What's the matter? I saw a freak in
there. He snapped at me. Oh, he scared
95
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,220
me. You idiot, you're looking at
yourself.
96
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,800
How do you like that? I always scare
myself.
97
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,360
Oh,
98
00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:13,460
I really got my hat.
99
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:16,900
What are you doing? Come on here. Get
something done around here.
100
00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:21,110
You fools! You ruined my trick mirror.
That's part of my act. We're sorry,
101
00:07:21,330 --> 00:07:23,330
Well, get on with your business before I
throw you out of here.
102
00:07:23,550 --> 00:07:26,870
Ah, nobody loves a census taker. Come
on, we'll get this over in a hurry.
103
00:07:35,230 --> 00:07:36,230
Oh!
104
00:07:40,830 --> 00:07:45,530
Get up here. Get up. I'm sorry. That's a
trick chair. It's also part of my act.
105
00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:47,040
That chair's got weak knuckles.
106
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,900
Now, the first question will be...
Excuse me, please.
107
00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:52,700
Did you get anything?
108
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:53,940
Neither did I.
109
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,280
Who is it? It's me. Who were you
expecting?
110
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:01,000
Just a minute, dear. You know, we're
getting no place fast.
111
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,880
Look, it's my husband. Hide in the
bedroom quickly. If he finds you here,
112
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,620
kill all of us. We'd better get
someplace fast.
113
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:14,520
What's the idea?
114
00:08:15,150 --> 00:08:16,770
Well, I'm sorry, dear. I had to shut off
the oven.
115
00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:18,150
Oh. The window.
116
00:08:25,610 --> 00:08:28,030
Easy, kid. Easy. Come here. Come here.
Oh. Oh.
117
00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:29,330
Oh. Oh.
118
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:31,090
Oh. Oh.
119
00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:39,929
What was that?
120
00:08:40,210 --> 00:08:41,409
It was just the wind.
121
00:08:42,049 --> 00:08:44,560
The wind don't walk. and I heard
footsteps.
122
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:47,920
Well, he won't get out of here.
123
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,040
There.
124
00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:03,720
You and your suspicions. Oh, okay, okay.
125
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:07,160
Say, we better get a little shut -eye
before we get to the theater. Remember,
126
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,240
got a couple extra performances to do
tonight. All right.
127
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:18,110
You're sick. You're sick. Oh, yes.
128
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,770
What's the matter? Must be something I
ate. Something you ate. Give me a hot
129
00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:21,770
water bottle. A hot water bottle.
130
00:09:23,310 --> 00:09:24,309
Remember,
131
00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:26,030
I left it here in the closet. Oh, no.
132
00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:28,210
No, give me an aspirin in the bathroom.
133
00:09:28,430 --> 00:09:29,169
Give me an aspirin. Yes.
134
00:09:29,170 --> 00:09:30,170
Oh. I'll get it.
135
00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:31,310
Oh.
136
00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:32,750
Oh.
137
00:09:40,090 --> 00:09:42,850
Now, listen. You've got to get out of
here quickly. I'm coming, dear.
138
00:09:58,250 --> 00:09:59,049
Here you are, darling.
139
00:09:59,050 --> 00:10:00,050
Oh, thank you.
140
00:10:02,030 --> 00:10:03,850
Oh, boy, am I overtired.
141
00:10:05,350 --> 00:10:07,010
I feel fine now, dear. Thank you.
142
00:10:12,790 --> 00:10:15,090
Oh, my knee.
143
00:10:15,350 --> 00:10:18,990
Oh, my knee.
144
00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:22,850
Confound that click chair.
145
00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:32,750
I'll get rid of that chair.
146
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,380
finds me here, I deserve to get killed.
147
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:39,960
Tell him I'm your aunt.
148
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:46,300
Oh,
149
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:54,720
darling, I'm sorry I suspected you, but
150
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,240
you know how much I love you.
151
00:11:58,340 --> 00:12:00,300
Won't you tell me you forgive me?
152
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,680
I forgive you, dear.
153
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,660
How about giving Daddy a little kiss?
154
00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:08,380
Come on, honey, give me a little kiss.
155
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:15,860
Ouch!
156
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,280
Ouch.
157
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:18,760
Darling, you're rough.
158
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,280
You hurt little me.
159
00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:24,900
Hello. Hello.
160
00:12:50,190 --> 00:12:51,190
Coffee's after us.
161
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:56,880
I won't talk, eh?
162
00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:05,780
Are you going to talk?
163
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:19,920
Don't you dare. Don't you dare do
anything to endanger the lives of
164
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,800
you drive, drive carefully.
165
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,080
Throw him in the box. Yeah.
166
00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:38,820
We'll take him to the police and charge
him with attempted murder.
167
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:51,080
Hey, wait a minute. This is pretty
light.
168
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,100
Now I've got you.
169
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,380
Well, what have you got to say?
170
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:17,700
Make mine fried.
12435
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