Original subtitles

Gentlemen, many of our gas stations are being constantly held up.

We feel it is the work of an organized gang.

I need three brainy but stupid -looking private detectives who can pose as gas

station attendants. That is why I sent for you.

Gentlemen!

Oh, good morning, boss.

Well, you fellas are certainly stupid -looking enough, but about being brainy

detectives, that's open to conjecture. Oh, thank you.

Oh, but mine.

Were you ever in danger?

Did anyone ever point a gun at you?

Yeah, but he couldn't shoot me. How come?

I had my finger in the barrel.

My partner, very funny. Hey.

You, you were in the service, weren't you? That's right. Did you ever get a

commission? No, just straight salary.

That's my partner, just clowning.

Quiet.

You, are you a good detective?

Am I?

You see this heel?

I ran that down.

Boys,

this is serious.

Do you know anything about running gas stations?

No. Well, that's good.

Then the robbers will think you're easy prey.

And here's a list of our latest robberies. Study it.

And there's another report.

You silly fooling around with a knife. Are you crazy?

What?

What's the matter?

What's the matter?

You ain't got nothing to worry about, boss. You ain't even got a hole in your

pants. Take it easy. Go sit down. Stand up. Go ahead. Relax.

Your fault, you imbecile.

Here, hold it.

Sandwich.

Potato chips.

Couple of olives.

Pickle. Don't you like ketchup?

I'm glad you reminded me.

You all set?

Yeah.

ruin my lunch.

Leave him alone, you big bully.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll wipe it off.

That's better.

Get out of here.

Come on. We gotta catch those burglars.

Nice, smooth... Thought you was wearing boots there for a minute.

Hey, you got a hang there.

Ow!

Stick out your tongue, please.

Thank you.

We're all out of Becky. How about Hazel? I don't like Hazel. I'll be back

tomorrow for Becky. Put some water in the radiator and some air in the tires.

Yes, sir.

Get busy, boys.

Hey, mister, your radiator's leaking pretty badly. You better let me put some

stop leak in it. Okay, fix her up. Right.

Extra special onion service.

Hey!

Oh, clean you right up.

Oh, sorry, Mr. Wrong Rag.

Hold still now.

Uh -oh, the funnel.

Picks you right up.

You double -crosser, you!

Hello? What kind of game do you think you're playing? Come on, get busy!

How do you like that?

Why don't you sing Mammy?

Why don't you shut up?

Oh, just a minute. Would you mind giving it a crank? My starter's busted. Not at

all.

All cleaned up and ready to eat. Aye, aye. Then take it away.

Onion

cypress!

Yes, sir.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I want an oil change and I'm in a terrible hurry.

I'm busy. You take care of the cash register.

Onion service, come on. Onion service.

Yes, sir. Lift the hood, boy.

Hold this can.

Remove the oil cap so the air will circulate through the motor. This oil

flow.

Finish the job. Come back here.

What do you like, that sap? And wasting all this oil.

Hey, fellas, the cash register.

The dirty crooks, they took our dough.

We're in trouble.

Get cleaned up. We'll trail them. Okay.

We don't get to it.

Driving into a driveway.

Nobody knows what's going on there.

Pull through that.

Pull through that. Pull through it? Yes.

Why are you shoving people around for you, Craig? Look at you, you feather

brain. What's the matter with you?

Straighten yourself up.

All right. Hurry up, Larry. Get a move on. All right.

Oh.

Oh, you double -crossing. Yeah, saves you right, you imbecile. Come on.

Hold your horses.

What are you doing with that? Taking it along with us so we don't get robbed

again while we're gone.

You're dope. It's empty. Drop it.

Get a move on, you guys.

Remind me to kill you later.

Get that door locked.

Okay. Locked right up there, boys. Lock it. Okay.

Come on, get in the door, treatment.

So you trail me, eh?

I guess that took care of him.

Let's get him out of the hall.

Open the chair.

All right.

Look at that set of burglar tools.

I'll get you.

I'll get you.

Give me a hand.

Hold him, Joe.

Then we'll call Mr. Grime and tell him we got us gas station robbers.