Original subtitles

It's absolutely wonderful.

It's terrific.

It's colossal. It's stupendous.

You know, this is the best termite sprayer we ever used.

Do I look like a termite?

Don't answer that.

Now, look, you guys. We've got to spray this entire building before the

publicity department comes back from location.

Now, we've got to step on it. What time is it? I'll give you the time, old

-timer.

What's the idea of the three watches?

That's the way I tell time.

How do you tell time?

This one is 10 minutes slow. This one is 20 minutes fast. The one in the middle

is broke. It stopped at 2 o 'clock.

Well, how do you tell the time?

I take the 10 minutes slow, subtract it from the 20 minutes fast, and divide by

the 2 in the middle.

Well, what time is it now?

Oh, it's 9 .30.

All right, you.

Oh! 9 .30. Get away from here.

Come on, Pupere. Shake a leg. We'll finish it in the morning. Well, I'm glad

see you're still here.

I've always wanted to meet you boys.

I understand you've been knocking them dead lately.

Oh, we always do.

Yep, we cover every angle. But I'm afraid you'll have an advantage over us,

What a kidder. As if he didn't know who J .B. Fletcher is.

I only run this studio.

Oh, excuse me.

Boys, I'd like to have you meet our new star, Miss Dolly Duvall.

How do you do?

And that brings me to the purpose of my visit.

I want you to whip up a publicity stunt that'll make Mr. Ball famous overnight.

And if you put this over, I'll see that you get a whale of a big bonus.

But, boss, we ain't exactly... We ain't going to disappoint you, Mr. Fletcher.

I'll tell you what.

We'll have the little lady disappear.

That's always a great story.

Disappear?

How corny can one get? I don't know.

Just think, every paper in the country will carry her picture on the front

Millions of people will wonder what happened to her. And all the time she'll

hiding out at the Clinton Arms Hotel.

What do you think, my dear?

You did say Clinton Arms?

I did.

Those guys just gave me a great idea how to pick up some fast dough.

Where are we going?

Clinton Arms Hotel, you dummy.

Step on it, you guys. Those reporters will be here any minute.

You, take a letter.

On the typewriter. On the typewriter.

Flash. Hollywood, June 22nd. Dolly DeVore, glamour star of B .O. Pictures,

disappeared today under circumstances that indicate foul play.

Read that back.

Copy this thing

on a typewriter.

What

happened

to my carriage?

Your carriage waits without.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Here's your carriage, and next time hold your horses.

I'm Captain Casey from headquarters.

I'm Brown from the sun.

Oh, that's too bad. Are you peeling?

Glad you came, Brown. We got a complete story on the disappearance of Dolly

DeVore. Get him some pictures. What a story. Save it. We can't print that

baloney. You're not fooling me either. I ain't running my boys ragged for a

phony publicity stunt.

Oh, gentlemen, you got us all wrong. She disappeared.

Honest. She may be in danger.

But we'll find her in time to start a new picture, kiss the moonbeams off my

elbow. It'll be colossal. Look, Scoop, this is my day off. If you bother me

anymore with this phony baloney, I'm gonna punch you in the stomach, kick you

the chin, and knock you cold!

That's what you're gonna do, eh?

Yeah, so lay off.

Hello?

Oh, Mr. Vore?

Look, kid, they won't believe us.

Come on and go to work.

What?

I'm in trouble.

Can't you understand?

Some men broke into my room. They want money. Tell them to be here with a dough

in an hour or you'll take a dip in the ocean. A one -way dip.

They want $10 ,000.

An hour? 10 ,000 clams?

Okay, keep your chin up. Mine is down to my knees.

Mo, some crooks grabbed her in a hotel and she ain't kidding. Call a cab. We'll

see you outside in a couple of minutes. Come on.

I forgot my groceries.

Boy, am I glad to see you.

Would you? Would I what?

Nothing.

Nothing.

That's it down there. Room 1717. You guys know what to do? Yeah.

Good. Where's the gas? I got mine. Here's yours.

Be careful. Where'd you get it? At the studio. Same place I got the money.

There was a room marked property, but it didn't say whose property.

Well, find us keepers. If you ain't got a gun for me, what did you bring me

along for?

For bait. Come on, come on.

This is the zero hour, men.

You wait out here.

If we're not out in five minutes, come and get us.

Yeah.

You better make it 30 seconds.

We're from the B .O. studio.

Okay, but if there's any cops out there, you won't leave this room alive.

Don't be silly. We wouldn't tell any cops. Here's your dough. Give me that.

Well, where's the girl? Not so fast, Sonny.

Uh -huh.

Hey, wait a minute.

This looks like stage money.

Ow!

Stick him up!

All right, where is she? I'll give you just ten seconds.

Stand back or I'll let you have it. Why, you double -crosser! You asked for it!

I'm the same man.

What's up? The third one got away. Third one?

Yeah, he hit me over the head with a grand piano. You chump, he'll have an

of cops here in five minutes. Head him off.

No, wait a minute.

The girl's all right. Go on.

They're gone.

What'd he say?

Oh.

Hey, Moe, hey, Larry, where'd everybody go?

The troubles are over.

Ah, the hall.

Now, where's the elevator?

I gotta get down fast.

Uh -oh. It must be the other way.

There's nothing on this side.

And there's nothing on that side either.

He's gone. I guess he got away and that's a good idea for us. Let's go.

I think I make a turn here.

Champ, take it easy.

Don't move.

Where are you, Moe? Do I turn here or go straight ahead?

You got a knife in your pocket.

Hack your way out of that thing.

Yeah, I never thought of that.

That boy.

Keep cutting.

Yes, sir.

Hiya, kids. Everything is all right?

forgiving myself for pushing him around.

Hello? Champ? He just stepped out.

Champ! You chowderhead. What's the idea of scaring us half to death?

Listen, I'm hanging outside the building on the eighth floor.

I guess it's the tenth floor.

Would it be too much trouble to send down a rope? You betcha. All right. Hang

on, kid.

Be safe.

Yeah, Dolly, you locate Champ. You get a rope that'll reach to the tenth floor

and step on it.

Hey, you better bolt that door in case our adversaries come back. Good idea.

Adversaries? Yeah.

Since when did you get so smart?

Oh, I've been smart all the time. Only you didn't know it. Say, when I come

back, I'll give you the password.

Brilliant. What'll it be?

Open the door.

Open the door.

Yeah, like that.

You again. You gotta listen to me. It's a matter of life or death.

It'll be your death if you don't keep out of my hair. Now beat it.

Hello, fellas.

Deal me in.

Are you still here?

Captain, you gotta go with me. This is serious. I told you no. I don't want to

listen to any more of that malarkey.

Now get out of here.

What's the matter, operator?

Will I hang on?

What do you think I'll do, let go?

Do you think I'm silly?

I am sorry. We cannot give out that information.

Yeah, a wise guy, eh?

If you fall off, watch out for the traffic.

It's okay. The green light's with me.

Hello?

Oh, it's you. How you doing?

Not so good.

Could you hurry it up a little? It's urgent.

And besides, somebody wants to use the line.

Keep a step up a plate, kid. Can't wait any longer. This will have to do.

We got it. Help is on the way.

Good work.

Those knots will only hold.

Okay, ship ahoy!

them, boss. Maybe they went back in here.

I'll take one.

Stop in the name of the law!

Break it in.

Drop that rope.

You all right, boys? What happened, boss? Did you trip all of a sudden, huh?

Good work, boys.

Come on, let's get going.

What have we got to lose?