Original subtitles

The wedding bells will start to ring.

Ding, dong, ding.

The birds and bees will start to sing.

Ding, dong, ding.

Ding -a -ding -a -ding -a -ding. Hey, fellas, hey, fellas, ain't it wonderful?

The boat will dock in a few hours and our sweethearts will be right in our

And before nightfall, we'll be married.

Yeah, and every time my little bride walks through this door, I'll give her a

kiss for good luck.

That gum stuck all over the place. Stop chewing gum.

I don't have to.

Now throw it away.

Fine.

Hey!

Stupid.

Why,

you imbecile.

Answer the phone.

Move him.

Get out.

He's a favorite?

Fine. Five to win, five to place, and 25 to show.

That's 35 cents altogether.

Okay, call me back if he wins.

Thanks. Goodbye.

All right, let me help you here. Wait.

Get busy before he murders you.

Okay, thanks.

You mosquito brain. I didn't... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Why, you.

Get away.

Wait a minute. This is our wedding day. We should be happy, friendly, not doing

this. And none of that.

Hey, maybe you're right.

I... Remember,

palsy -walsies, no slapsies.

Okay. Hey, porcupine.

You know, I was just thinking, isn't it great our sweethearts are all coming

over on the same boat?

I wonder if they've met.

Speaking of met, how did you meet Maria?

It was in a little restaurant. It was love at first bite.

I was stationed in Italy, eating bread and hot dogs and waiting to be mustered

out.

Delicious.

Have a bite?

I can still feel the burning of her kisses.

And that was the beginning of our romance.

How about yours?

Mine?

Oh, boy!

Sorry, fellas.

It was while I was on leave in Vienna. I decided to find a nice, quiet, private

room. They told me of a home with a room for rent, so I dashed down there.

Oh, I'm sorry. You got a room for rent?

Room? For rent? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Come and see here. Come and see. I will get

the mail and then I'll be right back. Okay, baby.

Nice.

you were scrubbing the floor. That's more dangerous than a foxhole.

Oh, I'm so glad to say I'm sorry.

Well, I'm not sorry, baby. You know, I really fell for you.

Ah, what a beautiful ring that is.

You like it? Yeah. That's the real McCoy.

Sixteen carats. I'll take it off so I can show it to you.

I'll get it, sister.

It is here.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Yeah.

off my feet. Boy, am I in love!

You ain't heard nothing yet.

My romance started on the Rue de Chlemiel in Paris.

I was anxious to see the Paris sights.

Well, one afternoon, I was strolling along the boulevard looking for

Pardon me, mademoiselle. You dropped your handkerchief. Oh, merci.

Uh -uh.

Permit me.

Go ahead.

I left my heart with her on the Rudy Le Pew.

She just couldn't resist the Casanova in me.

Fellas, let's drink a toast to our future brides. Right, right.

Take it over there.

All right, hurry up there. I'm going to give it a quick jerk now.

Out of my way.

That's the way they do it in Vienna.

Loaded.

Bottoms up.

You shouldn't marry a girl like that.

You're no good.

I'm just fighting away.

Let's fight a drool.

Okay by me.

Shoot with your weapon.

I'm a referee.

When I count to three, you shoot.

One.

Still, I can't see it.

Can you see me now?

Yeah.

Touché. It's all right.

It's all right.

Okay.

That's some eye bullets.

Let me tell you something. That was my... You ain't got nobody.

That was my... I'm shooting a thing here. Is that right? And I got a new

cartridge. Spout in the hand, I'm going to give it to you. I'll strike in the

eye.

Wait a minute, I'm out of bullets.

You wouldn't shoot a guy that's unarmed, would you? I wouldn't.

She was my last thought before I died.

I killed him. I killed my best pal.

They'll hang us for this.

We better get rid of the body.

Let's cremate him.

We can't do that. We ain't got no cream.

I never thought of that.

I see.

Well, put his feet in cement and dump him in a river.

Okay, that's a deal. Okay. Take it.

Get in and stir it up.

Okay.

Let's put the corpse's feet in it.

Okay.

There you are. Now let's take a nap until that stuff dries.

Okay.

What's the idea of pushing me?

Wait a minute. I didn't push you.

Oh, my head.

What did we drink?

I don't know. Varnish.

Hey,

look at that. Shemp taking a foot bath.

Suffering catfish. We're late. We've missed the boat. Come on.

Hey, Sleeping Beauty, it's late. Get in.

Yeah, come on. The guards are waiting. Come on, hurry up.

Hey, I can't get up. My feet feel like lead.

So does your head.

I can't move.

How did I get into this?

Oh, stolen, eh?

I'm sorry, but I didn't mean to... Oh, getting tough, eh?

be trapped, we'll blast. Well, will it hurt?

You won't feel a thing.

Gee, thanks.

Here we are.

Okay, got any matches?

Yeah.

Right away.

Won't be long now.

Wanda, what is keeping our sweethearts here? They are so late.