Original subtitles

At last, we honor Van Brocklin. Oh, Walter, I'm so thrilled.

Isn't it simply exquisite?

It ought to be. It cost $50 ,000.

Van Brocklin, what a genius.

And just think, the poor man died in poverty.

He only died in poverty. From now on, I'll have to live in it. Now, Walter,

don't spoil everything.

I'll run along and change to you like a good boy.

Our guests will be here any minute.

I beg pardon, madam. There's a leak in the plumbing.

It's getting worse every minute.

This is dreadful, Wilkes. How can I get a plumber over here at this hour?

There's a new place on Elm Street, madam.

The day and night plumbers. Apparently they're on duty 24 hours a day.

Thank you, Wilkes. I'll phone them at once.

Night and day plumbers.

What's that, madam? A leak?

Yes, yes.

Norfleet.

217 Linden Drive.

Now, don't worry, you pretty little head. We'll be over in two shakes of a

martini. Ha -ha! Boy, a first case!

Come on, champ, it's our first call.

We've got to get a longer jeep.

Hey, wait for me!

Mr. and Mrs. Allen, so glad you could come.

We're simply dying to see the Van Brockless. Well, I'll not keep you

the living room, everybody.

Wilkes, bring the cocktail.

Very good, madam.

I'm so proud of the picture.

Well, day and night course.

Yeah, come on, come on, where's the leak? I'm not the butler, he's in there.

Well, lean on, pal.

Pal.

Oh, it's divine.

What color, what detail.

And it's over 200 years old.

Every museum in the country tried to buy it. It's a masterpiece, all right. I

congratulate you. Mr.

Allen, thank you.

Oh, the plumbers are looking for you.

In the drawing room?

They should have come down the back way.

Thank you, sir.

Look, here are your men.

Refreshments. Thanks.

Oh, excuse me. Of course.

How dare you come in here and niggle with my guests?

Now, take it easy, lady. Don't blow. Never mind. Give me that.

I'll take yours, too.

The idea.

Now, you, give me what you have in your hand.

Here. Oh!

Oh!

Such impertinence, Wilkes. Get them out of here and put them to work. Yes,

madam. Jokes. Get them out of here and put them to work. Yes, you heard what

gentleman said.

Please, please.

Here, here, here.

The leak's in the basement.

Go on, go on. It's practically fixed.

They come in here to fix a leak and almost wreck the house, the clumsy

Yeah, it's just a little soldering job. Hold on to this. And don't let it slip.

Okay. Give me that blowtorch.

Get my foot out of there. Okay.

Now see what you did? What?

Get out of here.

Wait a minute.

We can't fix it while it's leaking.

I wonder where you shut the water off. It must be upstairs. Water always runs

downhill. You're a very intelligent imbecile. Thanks.

Yeah. Shut the water off!

You'll have to shut off that water.

I beg your pardon.

Come on, pal. This will run into overtime.

What did I say? Never mind what you say. Who are you?

Who am I? I'm the plumber. Get out of here. Oh, stubborn, eh?

How do you like that?

I'll fix that in a minute.

Great

help

you are. That other chowder head didn't shut the water off. Now you do it.

Here.

It's your job, you dummy.

Look in the kitchen. Look in the attic.

Look at the backyard.

I want you to meet my husband. Mr. and Mrs. Allen, Mr.

Norfleet.

Well, that's that.

I wonder where those other locks are.

All these pipes are full of termites.

Now to get out.

Move, Larry!

I'm trapped by the rising water. I'll be drowned like a rat.

Oh, move!

Oh, yeah.

Uh -huh. Now I'm using the old beam.

Success at last.

Just goes to show you, you don't have to have brains to be a plumber.

What's the matter? What's going on here?

Oh, wait a minute!

You dimwit!

What's the idea of dropping in without a calling card?

Now look what you went and done!

another length of pipe. Go ahead.

Hey, Mo.

No wonder the water don't work. These pipes are clogged up with wires.

Look.

I'll yank them out and we'll hook the pipes up all over again.

You watch the brain.

We don't go in for sculpture. It's too bulky. We just hold you.

Short circuit, no doubt.

That does it. End of the line.

Okay.

We'll try and get these pipes together and everything will be okey -dokey. All

right.

This house is still going crazy.

I'll find this thing or else.

Dear me, I can't understand what's holding up dinner.

Sorry, folks, dinner's postponed on the connery.

I'm sure it won't be long. Shall we see what's on the television set?

Excellent. Excellent idea.

It's the very latest set, you know. We get the most amazing results.

Good evening, friends.

That's odd. The sound, but no picture. Our special feature for tonight will be

glimpses of scenic America.

First, we take you to Niagara Falls.

I'll get it in a minute.

I saw

you television people.

It's realistic, isn't it, darling?

Never in my life.

Madam, shall I get you some water?

No!

Oh, my painting, it's gone.

Nobody leaves the house. Sorry, just the formality.

I'll call the police.

Who? What do I do?

I'll break it.

You folks going somewhere?

Just looking for a drink of water. Turn on anything, you'll get it.

He's gone.

We can't make it out that way. We'll be searched.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They won't find anything.

I'll slip the picture in here till the excitement blows over.

Anything, anything. Hurry. I'll get back to the rest before we're missed.

Yeah, okay.

Give me that pipe. I got you covered.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Mrs. Norfleet, the only strangers in the house are those plumbers. They must

have taken your painting. Of course. What are we waiting for? Let's go find

them. Thieves.

There's one of them. Take it easy, folks. I'm just a beginner.

Come, follow me.

I'll take the damage off the bill.

I'll hold the floor like this can be dangerous.

Come and get it.

Get up out of there, you.

There. There's the guy that took your picture. Where is it? Where is it? Stop

it. No guess the mind would steal that painting. Of course not. This man's out

of his head.

Drop that pipe.

If I took that picture, may I be struck by a bolt from the blue?

You heard me. Drop it.

everybody hey and

if

you want to keep on living count to a hundred before you move

What would you charge to haunt a house? How many rooms?

Quiet.

Look at me. I got the other one. Keep going, sister. I'll knock your brains

Go ahead.

Madam,

here's your picture.

My painting?

Name your reward and you shall have it. We don't want no reward, lady.

What are you saying? You heard him. We don't want no more money. No, it'll put

us in a higher tax bracket.

Bracket your head.