Original subtitles

That's Professor Sneed's new house. I watched from here when he moved in

yesterday. So, we have him cornered at last.

By now, his super rocket fuel should be perfected. Yes, Clark?

Yes, I think we can persuade him to give us the formula.

Ah, there he is now.

There's no mistaking that magnificent head of hair.

Hiya, Professor.

Got nothing to worry about.

My men will have this job done in a couple of hours.

Good.

Whose men?

Us men.

That's better.

Come on, start cutting.

You too, good -looking.

Yes, sir.

These are some of my best men.

I'll be doggone.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Father, step into the laboratory. I've discovered something interesting.

Just a moment, dear. I want you men to finish up as quickly as possible.

My work, shall we say, is highly secret.

Forget my name. Forget you ever came here. Is that clear?

You betcha. We won't breathe a word. Good.

Thank you, boys.

toes. They're gone.

Oh.

Oh, there they are. So they are.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

How many feet you got?

Two.

You skillet head. Give me that tape.

I'm sorry, Moe. You asked for it. You asked for it, too.

But we'll forget it. Get to nailing.

Yes, sir.

Gladly.

How did I get in the cellar here?

When the professor comes out of the house, we'll capture him. You will take

to Anemia.

Leon and I will remain at the embassy.

Yes, Colonel.

Hey, what's that lump in here?

I didn't see the lump.

Oh, never mind. I'll get it myself.

That hunk is finished. Now to... Say, he wasn't kidding. That is a big lump.

Ah, that's just a wrinkle. Flatten it out. All right.

Ow! What's that? I thought I heard something.

Ow! Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, my... Hey, that's a noisy wrinkle. Get me that stretcher.

Here, give me that.

Stop pushing the rug, will you?

Hey, that wrinkle is alive.

Hey!

Get back!

What's the matter with you?

Moe, you was that lump. And you'll be the next one. Get me out of here. Come

help him.

All right, we'll have you out. Come on, take it easy.

There's nothing to it. Take it easy.

Oh, I was a little too quick for you, wasn't I? Yeah.

What have you got in your hand?

Fine.

Well, goodbye.

Bye.

Look, the professor has two assistants.

Good. We'll take them, too.

Not yet. Put away that gun. No harm must come to the professor.

Where'd those guys go? There was here a few...

My leg is breaking.

Larry!

Here

we

are, gentlemen.

What a joint.

Reminds me of the reform school.

Oh, did you stumble, Professor?

Anything wrong, Professor? No, I'm all right.

Guard.

Follow this soldier, gentlemen. He will lead you to the laboratory.

I'd just as soon take a look around town.

I'll be back.

I'm back.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. What are you doing? What are you doing?

This ain't no reform school. It's a theater.

How do you know?

There goes the doorman.

Hey, stop shoving. I'm the professor.

Pardon me, professor.

That's better. Welcome home, Captain Rourke. Hope you had a pleasant trip. I

did, General. I had no trouble with the professor whatsoever.

Splendid. And now for bringing that genius to anemia, I give you the order

the yellow faucet.

Of course, the fuel is not quite ready yet, but the professor promises that it

will only be two or three days he is most eager to cooperate.

Did you say eager?

I did, General. Of course, it may be because I warned him of the

Consequences? That's good.

Say, I beg your pardon. Do you have any idea what we're doing?

Now that you mention it, no.

Why don't you tell the General he ain't Professor Sneed? He couldn't invent no

rocket fuel in a million years. I beg your pardon? Wait a minute, you

ignoramuses. If they find out we're only carpet layers, they'll go back and grab

the real professor. And not only that, they'll shoot us.

Now, we got to fool them, Savvy.

You're right.

It's our duty to posterior.

I wonder what this will do.

Pyrogallic acid.

Say, that acts mighty powerful.

Yeah. If they put that in an airplane, something's bound to happen. Get some

more stuff. Okay, okay.

How'd that build in here?

on my sleeve from a jug, you jughead.

Hey, it's burning the wood. Put it out, somebody. Larry, Larry, put the fire

out.

Larry, come on.

Hey, it's strong enough. Let's cork it. Here's the cork. Okay, kid.

the morning to you, Captain. And the rest of the day for myself.

Ah, but there's good news today.

Yes? You have the super rocket fuel?

You said it. With that stuff, a plane can go 1 ,400 miles an hour. In low

Splendid, splendid. I congratulate you, Professor.

Oh, think nothing of it. Drop us a line and let us know how you come out. If you

come out. One moment, gentlemen. I think before you go, you should give me the

formula. Oh, yes, the formula. Why, sure, sure.

Tell him, Professor.

Oh, yeah, tell him.

Me? Well, uh, first you put in a half a pint of ecto -whoses. Ecto -whoses? No,

no. Ecto -whatses. Whatses.

Um, and four grams of alka -bob. Ah, so?

Then you pour in the shish -ka -bob. Shish -ka -bob. Then you fold in the

of, uh, sancho -fomia. Ah, general,

they are just giving me the formula.

Well, that's splendid.

Continue, gentlemen.

Don't let me interrupt.

Yeah. Say, did I give you carbolic acid? I'd love to.

Put down a square Taharitan.

Spelled sidewards, it's Taharitan.

How do you spell this?

That's right, put it down.

Higher.

Colonel,

what does this mean?

It means you captured three impostors, you dunderhead.

This is Professor's need.

Yes, and unless you give us that formula at once, you, your daughter, and your

friends all will be shot.

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't help you.

You see, General, my father has a very poor memory.

I've got a little booklet here on how to train your memory in five easy lessons.

Pardon me.

Quiet. Thank you.

Don't point.

Perhaps a night in the dungeon will refresh your memory.

Take them away.

One moment, Captain Rourke.

Stupid of me.

Private Rourke.

I was in error giving you this.

But not this.

Low man again.

Say, Moe, do you think the professor will give in? Not for us, he won't.

It's all over but the shoot.

Why don't you put out your hand when you go up a side street?

Oh, you mean like this?

No, like this.

Go on.

I got my hand.

What is this here?

Tomatoes. Oh, go ahead. All right. Both hands around.

Beep, beep.

Beep.

Hastings is driving me mad.

I wish we could do something to help the poor fellows.

Thank you.

What's the matter?

Oh, I hate to say it, but if you don't tell the general what he wants to know,

this will be your last meal.

Oh, I don't think it's as bad as all that.

Maybe he's just bluffing. Oh, no, he's not bluffing. He's...

You're awfully sweet to be so concerned about us. But you mustn't worry.

Oh, you're so much handsomer when you smile.

Oh, shucks. I knew it. Dimples.

You know, you ought to be in pictures.

You'd make a wonderful leading man.

I'll bet your hair is curly.

Natural. No.

Yes. It's beautiful.

Oh, gosh, well, I gotta go now. Please change your mind. I like talking to you.

I didn't see you.

Didn't hurt me none.

Ruth, you can't go without them.

What's that?

Yes. And cold. Yes, yes.

I've got it. What's it say?

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

You left one out.

Oh, yeah?

Hello up there.

We have keys to unlock our cell.

The key's good.

We'll be right down.

What's the matter? Wise guy, how are we going to get right down there?

That rocket stuff.

If it'll burn a hole in the table, it'll burn a hole in the floor.

You know, he's the most intelligent imbecile I ever saw.

Hey, how about me?

Oh, you're much smarter. You're just an imbecile. Here it is, fellas.

Get busy and make that hole. We'll watch the door. Come on.

You'll make up your mind.