Original subtitles

Come in.

Baby! Cliff!

Hello, darling.

Gosh,

baby, you look terrific.

Say, how much longer are you going to keep up this act with a wheelchair?

When's the insurance company going to pay off? Today, darling.

The insurance adjuster's taking me to his office in the insurance building.

Then I collect $25 ,000.

Oh, what a gal.

Say, who did you get for witnesses this time?

Well, the three saps. living downstairs who've been waiting on me hand and foot.

They've sworn I'm a hopeless cripple.

What's she saying?

She says she wants breakfast.

Tell her we'll bring it up as soon as we shave and dress.

That's a dot.

Dot.

Hey,

cut it out, will you? Does my head look like a steam pipe?

No, a steam pipe hasn't got ears.

Besides, what are you beefing about?

All I did was hit you like this.

It was harder than that. Well, at the most, it was only like this.

It was much harder than that.

I'll show you.

See?

Take it easy, kid.

All right, all right. Break it up. We got work to do, see?

Don't you use that tone of voice to me or I'll... You'll what?

See that?

Get busy. Do your exercises.

Help me up.

Sure.

to do my swimming.

Hey, Barracuda!

Oh!

Get up here!

Listen, Halibut, I'll fillet you. We gotta get shaved. Mary's waiting. Come

Your face is too sharp.

talcum powder.

Shlemiel number eight.

Express!

Hey, fellas, we better rush to

breakfast. Mary will be starved. Yeah, I'll light the stove and make the

hotcakes. I'll cook the eggs. I'll get the cereal. Good. What are we waiting

for? Let's go.

Wait a minute.

What's the matter?

Go on.

Fix those eggs. Get out of here.

Oh, nice fresh cattle food.

Oh, I gotta have a mixing bowl.

Oh, let's see.

Ah, too small.

This'll be... What stupid imbecilic fool put that...

I did.

Oh, my dumb... You lame -brained fried eggs

marry like some scrambled.

Hey, Mo, where'd you get the sunglasses?

I bought them. Get out of here and get busy.

I'll take care of this.

Let me see now.

The coffee grinder.

Yeah.

Go on, Nick. Let's set that table up so Mary can have a breakfast. Hurry up.

What's the matter with you? This thing is haunted. Every time I lift the legs,

they jump back.

You're an imbecile. There's nothing wrong with it. I'll show you.

One, two, three, four.

Now get this table set. Come on. Cut it out.

Why don't you stay up for him?

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Ow!

Ow! Oh! Oh! No, my finger! Where's my finger?

Where's my finger?

Oh, there it is.

Oh, why's that?

Well, you see what we got for breakfast this morning. Nice cold hot cake

smothered in vinegar.

Come in.

How do you do?

I'm the new adjuster from the Calamity Insurance Company.

How do you do? Oh, so you're the crook that's been holding out on this kid.

Everybody knows that you owe a door. Why don't you pay her? She's a cripple.

Come on now, start stumping. I'd like to bop you right in the bean.

Knock this off my shoulder. You looking for trouble? Knock it off.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

You think I'm afraid of you, eh? Just because you're a big insurance man, eh?

If you don't pay her the money that she's got coming to her, I'll, boy, I'll

give it to you, good boy.

Shoot one that way, you know.

Shoot one that way.

Whoa, boy.

What are you going to do?

Where is he? Oh, you're getting smart, eh? Oh, a little hot, eh?

Oh, a wise guy. So you meant it, eh?

Oh, oh, oh. Cut out this nonsense.

Mary, we've got work to do. We'll see you later.

That's what we're going to try to do, kid.

That's the way to do it. Hey, Larry, what's the matter with you? What's the

matter with me?

What's going on?

Get busy or I'll pulverize you. Go on.

I'm the only guy who does anything around here.

I'm sorry, kid. Why don't you look like you're doing? I said I'm sorry, so shut

up. Go on, get that thing up. I'll knock your brains out.

Hurry up.

Okay, don't be... Line her up.

Okay.

Here this week, the great hypnotist Sven Garlick.

He'll steal your breath away.

Fine, fine, but business has been generally bad.

You got a great act, Sven Garlick.

But if you could pull some stunt that would make the front pages of the

newspapers, we'd do a land office business.

For instance, if you could hypnotize somebody to walk on water, or make them

a dance up there on the flagpole of that insurance building, then you've got

something. You've got a great idea, all right, but I've got to find the right

person to hypnotize.

Let me think.

Hey, wait a minute.

I've got an idea.

You? Yeah.

Maybe we can get this Spangalic to hypnotize Mary and make her walk. Ah.

hypnotism stuff is a bunk.

I'll bet I can hypnotize you and make you do anything.

For instance, look me in the eye.

Opus, opus, opus, opus, alacadabra.

You are now in Los Angeles.

I am now in Los Angeles.

You are now in New York.

I am now in New York.

You are now in Sing Sing.

I am now in Sing Sing.

You are now in Boston.

I am now in Sing Sing.

No, you're now in Boston.

I am now in Sing Sing.

You can't get this guy out of Sing Sing.

Good, that's just where he belongs.

That's where he belongs, eh?

Say a limb from limb.

Come on, stop this nonsense and let's get away from here.

I'm sick and tired of this nonsense, so cut it out.

I hope you numbskulls are convinced that this hypnotism is a fake. You're wrong,

my friend.

Look me in the eye. Straighten the eye. In the eye.

In the eye.

Thay, Dave.

You are now a cat.

Let me hear you.

Start monkeying.

Stay.

You.

Over. Great, great Svengolic, we made your ascent. Sensation, man, a

Ladies and gentlemen, the great Sven Garlick will now demonstrate the most

amazing manifestation of hypnotism ever performed.

Watch that flagpole on the insurance building across the street.

You are still...

Alex says something. The boys are up on the flagpole. The boys.

Hey, what's that crowd doing down there?

Let go of my legs.

Let go of my legs. What do you think? I got wings.

If you don't let go, I'll hit you on top of the head with this flagpole.

I'm slipping.

Champole still.

I'll spit in my hands and get a new hole.