Original subtitles

Wait a minute.

You lame brains can't do anything right, can you? Get up out of here. Come on.

Get over there. You come over here.

Now, get to work.

Just a second.

Let me have that wrench.

Let me have it, you imbeciles.

Hey, boys, I must be dead.

I hear an angel singing.

Why?

Ain't she pretty?

Boy, you can say that again.

Why?

Ain't she pretty?

Shut up. You said I could.

We're up here.

Hiya, boss. I was just starting to put the... I know, I know.

There's a radiator.

And look, there's a piece of pipe.

But the radiator ain't no good unless it's connected with the pipe.

Not one eeny, itty, bitty good.

You deadheads!

Get busy and finish this job!

We ain't got enough stuff. Well, go get it!

Here's your recording, Miss Andrews, and very nice, too. Thank you.

I'll see that Mrs. Bixby hears this record, and I hope she'll hire you for

program. But I still can't understand why you won't audition for her in

Mr. Allen, my name isn't really Andrews. It's Van Doren, and I know Mrs. Bixby

very well. And so, you see, I couldn't possibly audition for her in person,

could I? I don't get it.

Well, you see, my father doesn't approve of my being a radio singer, so I have

to do it under an assumed name. Well, I follow you so far.

Well, if Mrs. Bixby hires me, my father can't object because she's an old family

friend. That simple enough, isn't it? Oh, sure, sure. Simple like radar.

I'll do my best to get the job for you, Miss Sanders.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Allen.

I'm sorry, Moe. It was an accident.

I know, fellas.

Accidents will happen, sure.

Now, you take this wrench.

I don't want it.

Oh,

mercy, I did.

I'll make powder out of it.

What's going on here? Pick up that stuff and get to work. So help me, this will

last.

Use Gritto, radio friends.

The soap that gives your hands that dishpan look.

How will the old man know you've been working if your hands don't have that

dishpan look?

Put a box of Gritto in a glass of water, then listen to it fizz.

Oops.

Remember, Gritto, spelled sideways, is a -tr -g -g -r.

And now, Gritto's own story of Sandra Sandpile. And here's Mud in Your Eye.

Music.

Hark! Who's that stepping off the boulevard down by the chicken house?

I shall seize her and tie her to the tracks.

Good

afternoon,

Mrs. Bixby. Good afternoon.

I'm to audition a singer. Will you tell Mr. Allen that I'm here? He got word for

you to go to Studio D, and he will join you there. Very well.

Senorita, you are marvelous. I enjoyed your singing so much. I'm Mrs. Bixby.

Allen told me he had a wonderful new personality for my crispy, crunchy

He was so right.

It's agreed, then. You'll work for me. I have the contracts right here. Now,

just a minute, lady. I won't haggle. I'll double the amount of money. Well, I

don't know.

Money? Did you say money? I remember the stuff.

What do we do? What do we sign? Give me those contracts.

Senorita Cucaracha, you sign right here.

Oh, I just remembered. I'm having a few guests in tonight for a musical party.

You must come and sing for them.

Oh, well, now, that's a problem.

I'll pay you $500 if you come.

$500? What do we have to moiter? We'll be there with bells on.

Splendid.

How am I going to sing at the party? The same way as you did here.

Oh, what a marvelous voice.

Thank you. Not you.

Come on, we've got to go shopping. You've got to look nice at the party.

on.

Good evening, gentlemen.

Good evening, Jeeves.

Just a minute. We came with a lady. Quite a shack,

this Bixby joint. Yeah, reminds me of the reform school.

Jeeves, what time do they serve cocktails?

So happy to have you here.

My dear, would you care to go to the powder room?

Oh, no, no. She always looks like that. Oh, then come meet my guests.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have the honor of presenting the great artists,

Signorita Cucaracha, Signor Mucho, and Signor Gusto.

What is it, Alice?

Father, I'm sure I know those men.

Ah, Signorita.

I am thrilled.

I'm going to tickle myself.

Hey,

look who's here.

We better get out of here. If he spots us, we're cooked. Come on.

Oh, Mrs. Bixby, I'm so sorry I'm late. I meet some crazy people.

They bust my fiddle. They bust my glasses.

Mrs. Bixby, you will excuse me. I cannot play my fiddle. I can sing instead,

huh? Oh, of course. We should be glad to have you sing, senor. Look at my

glasses. All broke.

It's a good thing he ain't got his glasses. Maybe he won't know us.

I'm sorry about your glasses, senor. Would you care to sing now?

Delighted.

They must have been in our territory.

We've got to do something to stop them.

I've got it, fellas.

Here.

All right, once more, please.

Okay, kid.

Once

more,

please. I don't need quick.

Let's give him a salvo.

BLEH!

All we got to do is knock them dead with your song and we're in. Just be careful

of that record.

Nothing's going to happen to it. Well, it might get broke.

Not with me handling it. Just be careful. Shut up.

With me handling a record, nothing... Look what you did. Now we're cooked.

No, we ain't. Look, there's a lot of records.

You're getting a half a brain in your skull now, huh?

Sextet from Lucy.

Can you sing it? I can't even say it.

Oh, go on. Get set.

Do you know the sex set from Lucy?

No, I wrote it.

Oh, short eyeballs, eh?

Oh,

the sex set from Lucy, eh?

The senorita's lost a voice.

What is it, laryngitis?

No, fallen arches.

Say, I wonder who double -crossed us with that record.

I don't know who did, but I want to get out of here. Quiet.

You lost your voice. Where?

a great idea.

We'd better get out of here.

Wait.

Why did you take my record from the broadcasting station?

I wanted that job, and you spoiled my chances of getting it.

Now, the least thing you can do is to go through with it. I want to prove

something to my father.

How can we?

My voice, I mean your voice, is broken. No, it isn't. It's as good as new.

Listen.

Oh, my dear, you are wonderful.

You'll sing for us now, won't you?

Of course she will, won't you?

Do that number you did at the broadcasting station this afternoon.

Play Voices of Spring.

This way, senorita.

All set?

Look, people, just a big fake.

Ladies and gentlemen, a big fake.

Please, please, wait.

It wasn't all their fault. I helped them. Why, Alice?

Oh, I wanted to prove I was good enough to get a job, Father.

And you are, dear. You're still going to sing on my program. Did I say she had a

fine voice?

As for these imposters...