Original subtitles

Your Majesty, the King of Maronica, Herman the Sixth and Seventh -Eighth.

Your

Cape, sire.

Gilda, my child, what are you doing with these traitors who overthrew me to put

in a dictator?

We made a mistake, sire. We wish to help you regain the throne. Is that right,

Mr. Rumpchay?

Positively, Mr. Ixnay.

Tell the king our plan, Mr. Ramsgrave. I shall be delighted, Mr. Rumpchay.

We have planned to have your daughter spy on Hailstone, the dictator, so we

destroy him.

You betrayed me once.

How can I believe you now?

Sire, if we are not on the level, may we be struck... town on this lot.

What's the matter? Can't you take a joke?

Ah, marvelous.

What can be keeping my field marshal and my minister of propaganda?

Mr. Propaganda, I want to report that the people... I am not interested in the

people.

Good. Now, go.

Field Marshal Herring, how goes the war?

I don't know. The census won't tell me, and they ain't read a newspaper.

Start the teletype, you fool.

Hail.

Where was I?

What happened in the air?

We bombed 56 hospitals.

85 schools, 42 kindergartens, 4 cemeteries, and other vital military

With our stonker bombers.

What a blitzkrieg.

Your

army's on the

march again.

This morning they took Paragoric.

Paragoric, eh? Good, good, good, good.

I mean prisoners.

Eighty -four tanks.

Brooklyn, seven.

New York, three.

It's Seabiscuit and the Stretch.

Galahadian is coming up. It's Biscuit and Galahadian.

Galahadian and Biscuit.

Kayak wins!

I want to know about my armies. Have we taken the Dax of Holland?

Certainly. And the Van Dax of Amsterdam.

And the Updax of Rotterdam.

Yeah, yeah, man. I'm from the South.

That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man.

Now that we have captured all of Starvania, we must take Great Mitten.

yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You were going to blitzkrieg Great Mitten by the middle of August.

Then you said September.

Then October.

It's now in the middle of November, and we ain't there yet.

Well, November.

I didn't say what year.

I don't understand it. It's only 20 miles.

Yeah, I could skip it. Then skip it.

Luncheon is served, Your Excellency.

Have I told you of the six delicious favors?

The first one, they have the...

Flocks!

Marshal Herring, our first move is to kick the stuffing out of Turkey.

I'll wipe out grief. Wait a minute.

Just let me try it and look what happened.

Quiet. Oh, I want a piece of turkey.

Me too.

Oh, so you want a piece of turkey.

Yeah, give it to me now.

You got it.

Yeah,

but I still want a piece of turkey.

If we can get the Axis partners fighting amongst themselves, the battle is half

won. Don't worry, Umchay. When I get through giving Hailstone an astrology

session, he won't know which end his Axis is standing on.

And if that fails, plant this on Hailstone's pool table.

It contains enough high explosive to blow Hailstone and his henchmen to

I won't fail, Amscraig.

This is a pool game, not a...

I think I'll invade you.

Oh!

Come in. Come in. Come in. Yeah!

Oh, who might you be, fair one?

I am your new astrologer, the seeress of Roebuck.

Oh, was your father the seer of Roebuck?

Oh, no, I was... I was raised by Montgomery.

Oh, Montgomery's ward.

You must help me get in touch with the stars.

Yeah, me too.

I'll take Lamar. I'll take Lamour. I'll take Lozango with six lessons.

Oh, one, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

Spread out. Bring me my telescope.

What news do the planets portend today, pair one?

Very bad news.

I feel Eurax's partner's plan fractured.

So? You shall see for yourself.

partners would like to roast us, eh?

Summon them for a conference immediately.

Heel, heel.

Come, let us pop off the rest of the pool balls.

Yes, let's pop.

Come, Pip.

You know, I'd like to show you my chateau in Brooklyn.

It's on the right as you go in.

It's on the right as you come out, too.

Everyone enters through an exit.

I think I shall break.

No, no, I think I shall break.

I break?

I break.

I missed one.

Where's the white ball?

It's scratched.

Scratch nothing.

It's in the brunt of pass.

I get a free shot.

Oh, you use too much English.

Never speak that word in this house.

I think he's cheating.

I'm going to watch him this time.

Your shoe hit me in the chin.

Why?

Just for that, I won't go to your party at Belcher's Garden.

Wait a minute. You're wasting time. It's my shot.

I'll smash the 13 ball into that pocket.

Step aside.

Let a man shoot that knows how.

I'll hit that 13 ball so hard, it'll fly in a million pieces.

Well, if you're begging me.

Excellency. Yes, yes?

The Axis partners are here. Well, show them in.

I'll show those Axis partners a tour thing or three or four.

Hello?

Hello. Have you got anything on tonight?

No, not at all.

Why does he keep us waiting?

Here he comes now.

His Excellency, the Bay of Rum.

Hi, you evil old bowl, old rummy, old rumpot. I see you brought your own

No, she water pipe, present for you.

She good water pipe.

Here, smoke him, good smoke.

I'll smoke this or else.

You see claws, too?

Yeah. Is that a submarine?

Yeah, that's a submarine.

Is that a trolley car?

Yes, that's a trolley car.

Submarine, trolley car.

Read it.

back to those cofferdales.

You burn up me. Quiet!

The meeting is called to order.

Gentlemen of the axles.

Your blitz is under French. I am the winner and the world belongs to me.

Oh, no.

That's very, very unjust, please.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

That's against the international laws.

The world belongs to me.

Shake it.

You are again our king.

Are you sure that this mad dictator and his henchmen will not return?

I am positive, your majesty.

Look.