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1
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Reading cards, folks.
2
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Reading cards?
3
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Reading cards?
4
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Reading cards. Here we are. Here we are.
5
00:00:32,890 --> 00:00:35,550
How about a card, mister?
6
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Pardon me, sir. Could we interest in
your nice greeting card?
7
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We write them ourselves.
8
00:00:40,230 --> 00:00:41,470
Maybe your mother has a birthday.
9
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Here's just the thing. Our 77B.
10
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A snob, eh?
11
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Right here.
12
00:00:54,090 --> 00:00:56,870
and salutations, reading cards. Maybe
your father has a birthday.
13
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,930
Here's just the thing. Our H2O.
14
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Oh, a snobbish.
15
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We're sorry, mister.
16
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It was unaffordable.
17
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Why don't you look where you're going?
18
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You think you own the sidewalk?
19
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Well, we said we're sorry.
20
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:20,550
Yeah? Yeah.
21
00:01:20,810 --> 00:01:22,870
Well, if you want to make something out
of it, why, go ahead.
22
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:27,280
I thought you meant that.
23
00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:29,360
I'd like to see you do that once more.
24
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For Pete's sake, take his word for it.
He means it.
25
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:47,080
Where did I get out of here?
26
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I'll fix you if it's the last thing I
ever do.
27
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Reason number 22.
28
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Greetings, little shut -in.
29
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Don't you weep or sigh if you're not
out...
30
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,090
You'll be out the 4th of July.
31
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,780
if you'd like to buy one for your
sweetheart. Or your husband.
32
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,120
Husband?
33
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:36,760
What's wrong, lady? Come in and sit
down.
34
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What happened? I didn't do nothing.
35
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Sit right down over there.
36
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There we are.
37
00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:44,860
Now, what's the weeps all about?
38
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,940
I'm afraid my husband doesn't love me
anymore.
39
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Is that all? I thought it was serious.
40
00:02:50,260 --> 00:02:51,300
That's easily fixed.
41
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,400
Why, certainly. All you have to do is to
get somebody to make love to you. And
42
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make your husband jealous.
43
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Do you think it would work?
44
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Think.
45
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Certainly. He'll be so jealous, he'll
take you right in his arms and kiss you.
46
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Hmm. A pleasure.
47
00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:05,580
Now, listen.
48
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,160
I want you to watch your P's and Q's,
you hear?
49
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It's my husband.
50
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:21,200
Will you gentlemen help me? I see that
you're rewarded handsomely. Will we?
51
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,780
Make way for the original Romeo.
52
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,100
operation. We'll work it out
scientifically.
53
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Adirondack. One -zell, two -zell, three
-zell, zam. The buck -tailed vinegar
54
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tickle and tam.
55
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,800
Scram. The butcher man seesaw buck.
56
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,680
Darling, leave your husband and fly away
with us.
57
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You know you love us, not that pickle
-puss husband of yours.
58
00:06:12,310 --> 00:06:13,310
Boy,
59
00:06:20,190 --> 00:06:21,850
this reminds me of card number 24.
60
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:23,440
You're in the army now.
61
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,820
You'll always have your chow. You'll
never get rich. I know, I know, but we
62
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:27,920
don't need any money in the army.
63
00:06:30,940 --> 00:06:31,960
Oh, boy, a bench.
64
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:38,380
What a life. Nothing to do but live off
the fat of the land. And eat and sleep.
65
00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:39,800
That's what you think.
66
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,340
That's what I said. What about it? I
didn't say anything.
67
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But I did.
68
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,280
Well, well, well. So we meet again.
69
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:53,360
Attention!
70
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:48,280
And that goes for you too!
71
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,180
What do you guys think you're doing?
Playing hippity hop at the barber shop?
72
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,040
Now snap into it and march like
soldiers. And that goes for you too.
73
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:00,540
About face.
74
00:09:00,980 --> 00:09:03,760
I won't do it. He don't pay my salary.
It's a guy with a beard.
75
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:07,080
About face.
76
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,520
Forward march.
77
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:11,880
Comedy attention.
78
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,240
Fall in on that line.
79
00:09:14,940 --> 00:09:15,940
Fall in.
80
00:09:17,220 --> 00:09:18,220
Now listen.
81
00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:22,770
One more break out of you guys and I'm
going to hang you. All three of you.
82
00:09:23,090 --> 00:09:25,750
Now I'm going to teach you how to be
soldiers whether you like it or not.
83
00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:28,090
Right shoulder, arms.
84
00:09:28,430 --> 00:09:29,430
Left shoulder, arms.
85
00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:30,710
Right shoulder, arms.
86
00:09:30,850 --> 00:09:31,850
Forward, arms.
87
00:09:32,090 --> 00:09:35,730
Dispatchers, arms. Forward, arms.
Dispatchers, arms. Right shoulder, arms.
88
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:37,230
Arms, arms, arms.
89
00:09:37,590 --> 00:09:38,630
Arms, arms, arms.
90
00:09:39,190 --> 00:09:40,550
Arms, left shoulder, arms.
91
00:09:41,470 --> 00:09:42,930
What do you think you're doing?
92
00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:45,690
I'm going to show you how to do the
manual of arms.
93
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:48,250
Forward.
94
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:50,520
Present arms!
95
00:09:51,540 --> 00:09:54,680
I'll do it just like I did it. Part
arms!
96
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:55,900
Present arms!
97
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:43,200
Now you always want to get them right
between the eyes.
98
00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:45,720
High. Just about here.
99
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,720
See, men? Right about there.
100
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:58,160
Now then, plant your feet firmly, hold
the gun steady, and land...
101
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:10,240
Sometimes the enemy doesn't give you a
chance to use your bayonet. So then you
102
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,240
kill them.
103
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:15,180
If they haven't surrendered by then, you
kick them.
104
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,980
And then you shot them.
105
00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:22,200
But the thing to remember is, the
bayonet's your real weapon.
106
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:25,920
On this bag, I'll show you how to really
do away with the enemy.
107
00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:29,660
You lunge high, right between the...
108
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:53,720
them don't let them get you now then you
grab the gun firmly both wrists rigid
109
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:58,920
your left forearm parallel with the
ground then you pivot with your right
110
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,560
and you throw everything you
111
00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:03,770
The shell contains a new type of
laughing gas which will render the enemy
112
00:14:03,770 --> 00:14:05,650
helpless. Fire it as soon as I leave.
8352
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