Original subtitles

Whoa, nine outstanding!

Gotta ask.

Not that you've noticed, but I've been watching this, um, demonstration for

20 minutes.

What are you doing? I'm testing the glimmer factor of my white carpet dress.

Duh. Gonna need a little more info.

Oh, sure. Glimmer factor is the most important aspect of a gown. Really? I

thought it was the sparkle content.

Now I know you're being sarcastic, because that's too silly.

The glimmer factor is determined by two things.

Light reflection and light deflection.

They sound the same, but they're totally... And gonna need a little less

So what's the dress for? We don't have many gown -wearing events in Star Falls.

One of my dad's movies is premiering tomorrow night. So I get to go to L .A.

with him!

No!

No, squee!

You can't go to L .A.

Aw, you don't want me to go because you're attached to me. I get it, but

only for two days, and I'll text you all the time. No, I mean, your dad should

take my mom.

We want them to be a couple, remember?

Oh, right.

Well, on one hand, you have a point.

But on the other hand, I miss home so much.

But on the other hand, that's three hands. But I want to go to L .A.

L .A.

Okay, this is ridiculous.

Okay, this is ridiculous.

But my dream has meaning.

Deep, deep meaning.

Let's go over it again.

In my dream, there was a house made out of spaghetti and a huge talking coffee

pot that turned into a tiger.

The tiger likes coffee.

It means something.

Phoenix, I love you, but you've been telling me about this dream for way too

long, so point.

Tell Beth how you feel.

And you got that from the coffee pot the tiger in the house?

Spaghetti house.

Uh -huh. I'm gonna go pack.

Wait, Father!

It's never good when you call me Father.

Take Beth to L .A. Tell her you like like her. The tiger wants you to.

We've been through this. I can't tell her. I don't want to make it awkward.

Plus, I already asked Diamond.

She'd be crushed if she couldn't come.

But the tiger, Father, the tiger!

A makeup crew? We're in Star Falls. Don't think you need... Whoa, what

Huh?

Clara! You don't like?

No, very no.

Clara just worked on the horror movie, Soundpocalypse Now.

I said make me look like I'm sick. Not like I was attacked by zombies.

Fine.

You were right.

Our parents should go to L .A. together.

But my dad would never believe that I'd just back out from a trip home. So I

decided to be fake sick.

Or fake a zombie attack?

No, zombies. You know, nothing serious. Just something to put me out for a few

days. Strangely, your idea is well thought out and super unselfish.

So what are we thinking for blisters? Clear?

Opaque? Just give me chicken pox.

Wow. You really nailed the thick look.

I know, and it takes a lot to make me look bad.

Here, have some soup.

I hate when my kids are sick.

I remember one time when you were little and had the chicken pox.

Wait, you had the chicken pox when you were little? I don't think you can get

twice.

Mom, you're a veterinarian. Sure you're not thinking of goats?

Goats can get chicken pox?

Wait, can chickens get chicken pox?

Mind blown.

Dad, you're thinking of when I had the measles.

Or scarlet fever.

Because the pox don't lie. See?

Super itchy.

Hmm. Well, maybe it was something else, but... Clara!

You know what they say.

The best cure for chicken pox is to go straight to your room. I don't think

say that.

Again, veterinarian. Up to my room.

Doctor's orders. No!

I can't leave you like this.

I'll stay home for my trip.

No!

It's the one thing that would make me happy during this dark, dark time.

Don't let the pox win.

Okay, if it means that much to you, I'll go.

Don't!

Well, guess we need a new date.

True. So, Beth, would you like to come to the premiere with me?

Wow, Craig, that's so nice of you.

No thanks.

No thanks?

Well, goodnight!

Sometimes parents need a little help.

So we're helping ours get together.

My mom, my best friend.

Her dad, huge movie star.

And things might get a little crazy.

Okay, a lot crazy.

But that's just life in Starfall.

I can't believe Beth said no.

I literally have never been turned down for a date.

I mean, I play the part of someone who's been turned down. Dad, you're getting a

little squeeze happy with that chocolate sauce?

I don't care who you are, Mr. Movie Star.

You're cleaning that up.

Sure, I'll take a selfie with you.

No.

You're welcome.

Father, you can't keep drowning your sorrows in ice cream and so, so much

chocolate. Or I could.

No.

Take control of your destiny.

Nah, I'd rather keep eating ice cream.

My inner voice is saying you and Beth are meant to be.

It's also saying I want ice cream.

So first, I'm going to will you two together.

Then I'm getting a banana split.

How exactly are you going to will us together?

I'm glad you asked. Through visualization.

I'm not glad I asked. If you do a mental rehearsal of something you want to

happen, you can make it happen.

So, close your eyes and picture you and Beth walking down the red carpet.

Fine.

But only if you do it with me.

Yes, let's visualize together.

So, I see you and Beth walking down the red carpet.

Cameras flashing, big smiles on your face.

Do you see it too?

Hey!

No, you can't take the bowl.

These fake pox are so itchy. I need them off.

Will people believe I got over the chicken pox in a day?

No, they will not.

But your mom's not going.

I can't miss a trip to L .A. Because it's L .A.

I think it's just 1A. And I have no idea why my mom said no. But I'm going to

get to the bottom of it. So do not de -pox.

So, Lou just let you hang here whenever you want?

I wouldn't say whenever.

Or let.

Why are you in my garage?

I came over to hang. And on the way, I ran into my bro, Nate.

And he asked if I wanted to see his awesome fort, which turned out to be

garage. While I appreciate you dropping by without calling ahead, I was about to

enjoy some alone time.

Operative word, alone.

Just me and some meat smoking, some crossword puzzling, and maybe even

a little ham radio.

So, famus.

Why do they call it a ham radio?

Do you listen to pigs?

Guess I'll put this meat back inside.

When I come back, I'll give you a brief, brief lesson on the radio.

And then you will be gone.

Okay, what's going on? Oh, I'm just giving Mr. Newborn Piglet a checkup.

You're a very healthy and cute little pig.

Not what I meant, and you know it.

Why'd you say no to Craig?

You like him. Remember the picnic auction thing? The whole you -like -like

thing? Just, I have nothing to wear.

I'm busy with work.

Does the time change?

Mom.

I don't want all those people staring at me.

Remember that time I talked at the vet conference?

How I fainted and fell in a salmon tank and I woke up soaking wet, smelling like

a fish with someone doing mouth -to -mouth on me. There won't be any salmon.

Well, there might be, but to eat.

I'm not sure how these fancy events work.

Anyway, I'm not going. The thought of it totally freaks me out.

Now help me deworm this pig.

Whoa, check out his train collection.

Cool. I call the middle.

Oops.

Oh, man.

Why did I hang out with you?

Well, we better tell Lou what happened.

Whoa, whoa, hold on.

Why would we do that?

Because we broke his train. And that's what you do when you break someone's

train. The best way to handle stuff like this is to buy time and let it go away.

And how would we do that? We'll keep Lou away from the garage. Then by tomorrow,

he'll think a gopher broke in and smashed his trains.

We broke his trains, so we should pay for them.

Ooh, but I did just save up enough money to buy a new belt sander.

So if I have to pay for the trains... Way to live, dude. Hey, ever try to

a rough corner with a piece of sandpaper?

Huh? Then think so.

Yeah, okay, but Lou never has to know.

Keeping Lou away from the garage will never work.

Ah, you chucklehead's still here.

Listen, Lou, I... Belt sander... I was just... Saying you make a mean chili.

I've never tasted it. Make me some?

I got things to do. I guess I'll just go eat a can of chili at best.

Canned chili?

Give your head a shake.

Let me go get my good chili pot.

bright like crimson or royal blue. And she totally thinks new shoes. Why do I

need new shoes? Let's be sure, otherwise you'll look like a giant.

Totally. Emily, I haven't talked about hair. We need someone to entangle this

mess. It's tangled?

Okay, what's going on? We're helping you get ready for the red carpet. Duh.

Helping me get ready for an event I'm not going to. Should be quick. If you're

prepared, your nerves will disappear and it'll be fun.

I severely doubt that. Plus, the premiere's tonight. You don't have to

two hours. All good.

Wait, Diamond, your chicken pox are gone.

Oh, yeah.

It's a super, super, super long story.

And there's no time for super, super, super long stories. Now let's untangle

this rat's neck.

But... I don't think...

how you can get me red carpet ready in a couple of hours.

You have to look good.

Of course that's easy because you're already beautiful.

You just need a dress, hair, makeup.

It's not that stuff that worries me. It's all the people and the reporters.

That's why I'm going to teach you to answer the three questions.

The three questions?

Yeah. Get this.

Apparently women are only asked three questions on the red carpet.

Number one, who are you wearing? Number two, are you excited about the movie?

Number three, which after party are you going to? That's all they ask?

Yet somehow equal rights elude us. Well...

Sometimes they'll ask you to do a twirl and look over your shoulder.

Anyway, your answers are Marco made my dress. I'm excited to see Craig play a

math genius turned bank robber. And we're going to an after party at Zoom.

Who are you wearing? Are you excited about the movie? Which after party are

going to?

Ow, what are you doing?

This is what it's like on the red carpet. You've got to be ready. But I

want to. No time. Who are you wearing?

Marlene or Melvin or something.

Are you excited about the movie? Yeah, Craig's a math guy who turns into a

dinosaur. Which after -party are you going to?

Ooh, I know this. The one at the zoo.

Who are you, Erin?

Mario. No, Mary.

Brad? Yeah, uh, Craig will make a great scientist -turned -robber guy.

Uh, the one at the zoo.

I mean, just zoo.

Marco made my dress.

Craig is going to be an awesome mathematician -turned -faith robber.

to an after -party at zoo.

Did I get it right?

Nailed it!

Good job. You made it look easy.

Maybe I can do this.

Uh, hello, strangers who are touching me. Who are you?

They're wardrobe hair and makeup. Of course they are.

Chili tastes better when you make it outside and eat it with sticks.

Sticks? Well, wooden spoons.

I whittled them myself.

Sticks are bare hands.

The only way to eat it.

Oh, yeah, I didn't sand them yet.

Look, Lou, I got to tell you something.

And that is we're pumped to try your chili.

So is it Texas style or a Cincinnati blend?

Powder puff chilies.

Here's how I make mine.

First, I put a dry rub on the meat. And then you chop it up with an ax.

And be sure to save the grizzle. It adds flavor.

And then, finally, after all that, you put it in bowls and eat it.

Done. It took four bowls of chili to hear how Lou makes chili.

And this man's giving me lip splinters.

I'm out, bro.

Dude, sit.

Hey, Lou.

Someone said you could make your own rocking chairs.

No way.

Yes way.

I'll show you.

Hey, Phoenix.

Can you give me a ride to the airport? And what are those?

This is you, and this is Beth.

I have to stop asking questions.

They're for visualization.

Beth, would you join me at the premiere?

Yes. Okay, this is crazy, even for you.

And it doesn't matter because Beth's not into me.

Sometimes I don't say what I really think. I've got to catch my flight.

Drive me.

Okay, I'll just get my keys from the house. And the basketballs stay.

Fine, I'll just... Phoenix, sorry.

The visualization worked.

Huh?

Uh, line, please.

Right, this isn't a movie. If the offer's still on the table, I'd love to

the premiere with you.

Wow, you would?

Really?

No, we just did this in under two hours for fun.

Yes, of course.

I'd love for you to come.

Okay, then.

Have fun, fly safe. Phoenix, you're in charge until my dad gets here. No

problem. Wait, Diamond.

Your chicken pox are gone.

Yeah, it's the craziest thing.

What's the craziest thing?

Hmm? Sorry?

Why don't you have chicken pox anymore?

Oh, that!

They were fake.

Bo painted them while she was asleep. That is exactly what happened.

That does sound like Bo.

Hmm.

Oh, wait!

You wanted to come to L .A. No!

Why are you all so... There's no time and Mom's ready to go, so bye!

Love you!

Bye!

Bye! Yes!

It only took you two hours to make a rocking chair? I thought it'd be days.

Not my record time, but I'm happy.

So much for a long distraction.

I've got this.

So...

I hear you're an awesome tap dancer.

I could have been a pro tapper, but not my thing.

Teach me some steps?

I've done some, but I'd love to learn from a master.

You've tap danced?

Have I tap danced? Check it out.

Ah, I have my work cut out for me.

Go grab your shoes.

Do you have tap shoes?

Diamond shoes, some super glue, a few coins, and

tap shoes.

Thanks, Internet.

Hey, want to wash the red carpet with us?

Yeah. Ready for some tap?

Oh, look, that's them. I'm here with Craig Brooks and... Beth Miller.

Why are they on... Who are you wearing tonight, Beth?

Marco designed my beautiful dress.

Looks fabulous.

So are you excited about the movie?

Craig will make a brilliant mathematician -turned -bank robber.

-party are you hitting?

Zoom, of course.

Tote. Perfect. Thanks to us, we are all amazing.

Let's literally pat ourselves on the back.

So everyone is dying to know, are you and Craig a couple?

Uh... Uh... A fourth question?

Why isn't she talking?

Make something up.

Uh... Blink, Mom, blink.

So, are you and Craig an item?

Uh... Um... Marco made my dress.

Zoom. We're going to Zoom.

I'm a bank robber. I mean, Craig's a map.

I do not get L .A. people.

Come on. Give us the scoop, Beth. Okay, we're not an item, but we live together.

Well, I mean, he lives in the bunkhouse, and yes, I do cook for him sometimes,

but in answer to your question, I do like him. I like -like him.

So, Craig, what do you have to say?

No comment.

You can say that!

Well, that was awkward. Back to you in the studio, Sherry. This is why I don't

watch TV.

So, peeps, let's just forget about all that red carpet silliness, okay? What

that?

Doing damage control. That was so bad.

So, so bad.

Like, so... Yes, it was bad!

But, hey, how many people would have watched that?

Your mom's trending under hashtag weird rambling lady.

Ouch. We ruined everything.

There's no way they'll get together now.

You're right about that. I was hoping you'd disagree.

Well, at least the next couple of months living here will be incredibly awkward.

Wait,

where are you going?

I got some meats that need a smoking.

But I never got that tap lesson.

Ah, do you want to tell him or should I?

On the way here, I told him about the trains.

Dude! What? I had to.

I'm an honest man.

But I'm not mad at you.

As long as you help me fix them.

Huh. See?

If you tell the truth, people will understand.

Maybe. But if we did, we never would have had awesome chili, watched Lou make

rocking chair, or make sick tap shoes.

You want to teach him steps?

No. Not really.

Great, check this out.

Look, that stunned face.

It turned into a meme.

They must be so embarrassed.

Well, we're about to find out.

Here comes Dad and Hashtag Weird Rambling Lady.

Quick, everyone, hide!

Wait, where are we hiding?

And, Bo, your feet totally smell.

I know.

Hey, please don't feel embarrassed.

We're so, so, so, so sorry. You're not a meme.

You're totally a meme.

Okay, first of all, nice to see you too. And what exactly are you sorry for?

Four questions. How did I not know? I... I can't even.

Girls, it's okay.

You will not say that after you see the video of yourself.

Seriously, calm down.

We have news.

If it's about the meme shirt, I already have one.

See? Why am I on your shirt?

Anyway, our news is...

We decided to give it a try.

Give what a try?

We're dating.

Okay, silence is not the reaction we were expecting.

But the red carpet, you are humiliated. Both of you, super, super humiliated.

You're not wrong, honey, but you might want to find a nicer way to say it.

So are you happy for us?

Love it.

Dating, so gross.

Eh, three out of four isn't bad.