Original subtitles

All I want is the truth.

The truth about what?

Just admit it. I'll forgive you.

Forgive me?

What am I supposed to have done?

I thought a lot of things about you, but I never thought you were a liar.

You! You paranoid pig!

Off my boat!

Your boat?

Who do you think paid for it? It's my boat!

Everything is yours, isn't it?

That's what it all comes back to, right? Money, property. Well, you can't own

people, and you don't own me. So go on back to your fancy schmancy La Jolla

snob. Oh, that's it, Ernie. This time it is over.

Finished forever.

Yeah. Well, good riddance.

Ernie, Mary Jane, I say.

Oh, I have had it.

Tell that primal screaming friend of yours he'll be hearing from my lawyers.

Rick.

Rick, hold up. Love to talk to you, Ernie, but I'm running late. You've got

help me. Rick, will you hold up a minute? I want to hire you. Ha, ha, ha,

You and Mary Jane?

No way. Uh -uh. You need a lawyer, not a P .I. No, no, you're wrong, Rick. She's

sabotaging me. She wants to take the boat away from me. That boat is my life.

Ernie, Ernie, calm down. Just take it easy now. You'll feel better tomorrow.

You remember last month when Mary Jane hit you in the head with a winch handle?

Talk about reconciliation. It was rock around the dock all night around here.

Yeah.

Suburbs.

Norco gear.

Some tan lotion.

A dress book refill.

An absolute necessity in the Bahamas.

For some people, maybe. I'm not so sure about others.

Oh, and I've paid all the bills through the 15th. All you have to do is mail

them. Now, do you think you are able to handle that?

Oh, I'll muddle through somehow.

Yeah. Oh, listen.

Make sure you take my spathetilium over to Mom's house. Tell her a little sugar

water every other day.

What about your house?

Ah, uh, Mr. Gorman is taking care of the house.

He's going to keep an eye on it. No need for you to go over there. He can handle

it. Don't worry about it.

Well, I hope you feel real good leaving me in the lurch like this. Oh, come on,

Rick. You've had your vacation. Now it's my turn.

Scrape in the bottom of my houseboat. You call out a vacation.

That was your... It's all over, Rick.

The tank's really minted.

Rick? over here behind the copophilia.

A .J. This is my old friend Ernie Petrelick, and this time his wife really

it. Rick, her lawyer called.

He's going for full custody.

It's not fair!

I mean, this is my baby we're talking about. My wife has nothing to do with

She doesn't take care of her.

She doesn't spend time with her? Well, yeah, except for tying her up at night

and hosing her down when she begins to think.

And she used to do that every night.

Now I'm lucky if she does it once a month.

Ernie's both to Mary Jane.

Oh, thank God.

Look, Ernie, as much as I'd like to help you, we just, we don't handle divorce

cases anymore, do we, A .J.? Well,

we have been known, we make exceptions, yes, for old friends.

Well, Time to get you to the airport. Look, Ernie, I'll call you tonight, give

you the name of some terrific PIs who really know the divorce game.

Let's go. No, hey, I've already called a cab. Unless you waste that money, I

wouldn't dream of it. It's my money. It's my money. It's my vacation.

It's your client.

Besides, she really is very good at divorce cases.

Oh, yeah.

I almost forgot. Don't forget the open house this afternoon at class

investigations. Ah, A .J., I have no intention of spending any time with

Princess Ditsy and Sergeant Klutz. I got 70, maybe 80 years on this planet.

Rick, they are old friends. They are new in town, not to mention possible

competition, besides which I already RSVP'd for you.

Sayonara.

You and me, kid.

Ten days.

Solitude and serenity.

Hi, this is A .J. Simon. I'm vacationing in the Bahamas where I cannot be

reached. Please refer any pressing business matters to my brother Rick at

-3838.

Hey,

Drew!

All president accounted for.

Well, hubba hubba.

What is that up you got here?

Hey, baby cake.

Too bad that sexy brother of yours couldn't make it. Well, Diane, it was

you or the Bahamas.

Tore the poor guy apart.

Come on, have some cold duck.

We went all out, didn't you?

to the fastest -growing new P .I. firm in San Diego. Ed, be nice.

You don't mind, right, Rick?

Competition never bothered an ex -marine. I think what Ed means is that

a lot of opportunity here for all of us.

Hey, we've only been in business one week, and already you're telling me what

think.

What's Mary Jane Petrelick doing here?

Oh. She's our first client.

Pretty classy act, huh?

She married a tugboat, Captain.

Charter boat, I know the guy. Oh, well, then you know what a primo bozo he is, a

real downbeat. Which is where San Diego's newest concern comes in.

Divorce, American style, and 12 very expensive monthly payments.

Rick,

hello.

Now, what's a beautiful woman like you doing in a dive like that?

Oh, wondering what it's like to be single again?

You're not serious about a divorce, are you, Mary Jane?

I couldn't be more serious, Rick. I don't care if I was invited or not. I

to see my wife.

Oh, there she is.

Everybody meet my wife.

Watcher of whales, protector of baby seals.

Oh, yeah, in her spare time.

Marriage wrecker.

Hey, pal, this is a private party.

Get your paws off me, you weasel. Hey, I'll show you who's a weasel, weasel.

This is what you got sneaking and skulking and sliming around, sabotaging

boat.

What are you talking about?

It's not going to work. You're never going to get my boat. You understand?

Never!

Ernie, let's blow this pop stamp on the cup of coffee. It's her father's fault.

It's her father's fault. He's the one who broke us up.

He thought I wasn't good enough for him. We'll talk about it later.

Take him to the zoo, Simon. He belongs in a cage.

Ernie.

Don't you know it's bad luck to change the name of a boat?

How could my luck get any worse?

Nobody cares about me. Not even you, otherwise you'd take my case.

I am taking your case.

You said you would... I thought it over, all right?

400 bucks a day plus expenses.

No questions asked, no crying, and I'll be here after 6 p .m. on all days

Sunday.

All right, Ernie, here's the deal. I don't handle divorce cases, but I do

breaking and entering and theft and sabotage. Good, because a couple of days

ago, somebody plugged up my tailpipes with rag.

Yeah, yeah, and you nearly blew both engines. I know, Ernie, you told me that

last night. And somebody stole your strongbox.

And my records, my registration, my charter reservations, past and future.

I've got to be able to prove I make my living off that boat or I'm going to

it. Well, I've got a pretty good idea who did it, and it wouldn't bother me a

bit if they lost their licenses.

Mary Jane gave me that boat for a wedding present.

I wondered why she insisted on taking a walk at midnight, and then, boom, there

was the Mary Jane.

With a big bow across her wheelhouse.

We never made it back to the hotel that night.

Guess I told you that, too.

Fourteen times can count, Ernie. Hey, Cliff.

Rick. Ernie.

Ernie would like a copy of his slip rental agreement.

Oh, well, you're not going to believe this.

I just pulled your file a minute ago for two city health inspectors.

Take that. And I... Hey, no, what the hell are you doing here anyway?

I am protecting my client from the city health department. You'll be getting a

subpoena for the strong box you stole from him. Him?

You mean you took his case?

Yeah, that's right. To protect him from scum buckets like you.

Oh, bitter, bitter, bitter.

You're just tense because I've always liked A .J. better than you.

No offense, Rick, but you know, this is one property settlement that's a lock.

Big Ern will be lucky to walk out of the courtroom in his own jockey shorts.

Read it and weep.

Baby cake.

His wife was bankrolling the dog feast from the beginning. In fact, the entire

overhead.

Right, Captain Petrelick?

I'm going to my lawyer. And while I'm there, I'm going to tell him about those

no -good feasts. Don't bother, honey. We got no proof.

My ship's long.

What about my ship's long?

That should prove it's my boat for sure.

It's in my wheelhouse.

Okay, I'll check it out while you're gone.

Great.

Chill out.

All right, Ed and Diane, all y 'all out and pray.

That's all, Ed.

Who's asking?

Where's the money?

Ah, well, I... Wrong answer.

Sweet dreams, Petrolik.

Hello? Hello?

Hello? Rick? Are you there?

Yeah. Yeah, it's a good connection.

Really?

Boy, I can barely hear you.

I was just going to check, see how everything's going.

Oh, like usual.

Oh, well, the weather down here is just fantastic.

In fact, this whole place is just unbelievable, wonderful snorkeling. And

steward -eye, wall -to -wall.

You'll never know how happy that makes me.

You're mad, aren't you?

You broke down, you took Ernie's case, am I right?

Uh, A .J.

AJ, I think I have a bad connection now.

Listen, if you can hear me, I'm going to call you back.

1995.

Wow, you look terrible.

Nice piece of work, huh?

Courtesy of a couple of apes who mistook me for you when I boarded that precious

boat of yours.

What?

Who would...

That Mapes, I'll kill him. He had no right... Hold it!

Are we talking about Danny Mapes?

Pig, slime, loan shark extraordinaire?

Ernie, what have you gotten me into?

Well, after Mary Jane pulled the plug on our joint bank account, the starboard

diesel blew.

I needed a quick ten grand. And then you skipped a few payments because you were

broke, right?

How many payments are in here?

Four. Four.

That's it. We're finished.

Finished? As in, cop put. I don't handle people who hold out on me, plus which

if you're ten grand into Mapes, how are you going to pay me?

It's like I told Mapes, the boat is my collateral. Oh!

After I go to court, I can swing a loan and pay everybody off.

Swell! Right now, your chances of getting custody of that boat are slim to

if you live long enough to hear the final decree.

Rick!

I don't have a dime to my name.

I just lost the only woman I ever loved.

I got nothing!

Except a few memories, a bunch of old love letters.

Don't do this to me, Ernie.

Last night, I went over them again.

One was the note that Mary Jane put on the ship's wheel the night she gave me

the boat.

A gift of love to the man I love.

I thought that would be proof for sure.

Give it a try.

Oh, I guess... I guess there's no point in my asking what you

wanted to see me about. What are you talking about?

The note you attacked on... No, I didn't leave you any notes. You said you

wanted to see me, by the way. Oh, no, that was too low. Come on.

But you just fired me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

From now on, I'm on a contingency basis.

My services for 10 % of your charter business for one year.

You got it, partner!

Sorry, sir. Court order.

Oh, no!

Ernie! Ernie! Ernie!

Ernie! That woman has no soul, no heart.

If you put her... Hey, hey, hey. Come on. You wouldn't hear anything but the

wind blowing through. Okay? Now you calm down.

Atta boy, Trope!

You got two seconds.

What's the story?

No story. This tub is off limits to both parties until the judge hears the case.

This tub is this man's home.

Now what about his personal effects?

What about his papers? What about his correspondence?

You talking about these?

Mm, steamy. Hey!

Calm down! Those are the letters! Calm down!

Now, you hand them over before I forget you're almost female.

Ooh, temper, temper, baby cakes.

These letters are a two -party instrument in which our client does have

interest.

I was a loser. If I had any brains, I would have put those letters where scum

couldn't find them.

It's not bad, Ernie.

That's not bad.

That's a great little gadget.

Rick.

What do we do if the guard comes back?

We tell him the truth.

That we were dispatched by Dormier's 24 -hour electrical service.

Oh.

Now what do we do?

Now we search.

Where?

Use your imagination.

If you're a sex star female who's got a packet of another woman's love letters,

what's the first thing you'd do?

If I was... Never mind.

You're just a pussycat.

I like pussycats.

Bingo. My letters.

Dearest Namu.

Namu.

Um, she called me that, you know, after the whale.

I know words come hard for you, but it... Doesn't matter.

Now move.

Yeah, you know the wheel.

Now move.

Because no word can address the depth of my love for you.

You know, Rick, I know I'm crude.

I never finished high school, you know.

But to me, these are beautiful.

Nothing ever meant more to me.

I hear you, man.

Hey, let me read you one. She wrote me a poem when I ran aground trying to save

two sea lions.

Ernie, this is all very lovely and everything, but where is the one where

says that the boat is all yours, no strings attached?

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

Wait a minute.

Wait. Oh, here, here, here.

Dearest Ernie, yada, yada, yada.

Oh, here.

You cannot deny me the joy of buying you the boat of your dreams.

Hello, Ernie.

Well, well, well, look what washed down the sewage canal.

Stay out of this, Simon.

This is between me and Ernie. Yeah, well, I got a couple of lumps the size

golf balls to say that ain't so.

Oh, hey, I heard about that.

Yeah, sometimes my lads, they get a little, uh, enthusiastic.

I can get you the 10 G's. You bet you better.

All of it plus the interest by noon today.

Hey, easy.

You know, Ernie, I think we might be wrong about who's been sabotaging your

boat.

What?

Wait, you're way ahead of me. Why would he?

Your boat's his collateral, right?

You go out of business, you can't make your payments.

You can't make your payments.

Guess who gets your boat?

You stinking bucket of bait. And I blamed my wife.

Ernie, Ernie. Shut up.

Listen, you can threaten me all you want. But if you keep messing with my

or my friends, I won't be responsible for what I do. And believe me, Mr.

I got nothing left to lose.

Better be good news.

Rick? I didn't wake you, did I? What time is it there?

Yes. No. Six.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I had to tell somebody.

I'm in love.

With about five different women.

There's this marine archaeologist that I met when I was exploring the sunken

galleon. And then this gorgeous woman.

She's on the U .S. ski team. I met her at the pool.

Who cares? You want to brag about prize mermaids, call field and stream.

Oh, dear.

I guess Ernie's case isn't going too smoothly, is it? What are you talking

about? I didn't take Ernie's case.

Sorry, I gotta go.

Hi,

troop.

What's the big idea?

You shut up. You're under citizen's arrest.

Criminal trespass and malicious... Keep going, baby cakes. We've got you for

breaking and entering and felony theft. Yeah, we could compromise. Give us back

the love letters. We'll forget the whole thing. I don't know what you're talking

about. Oh, come on, Simon. You think I was born yesterday? No, nobody could get

as stupid as you overnight. Now, get your butt off my boat.

Hello. Yes, he is. Who is that?

Hello.

Abigail, can I call you right back?

No, you can't. I'll make it quick.

I hear you have a client named Ernie Petrelick. Do you have any idea where he

is? Ryan, what's up?

He's wanted for murder.

We figure Petralek worked Mapes over pretty good before he dumped him in the

bay.

Don't you get out of my face. Why? We fought to make it a free country.

Lieutenant, there is no way that my guy is a killer. He doesn't have a mean bone

in his body.

I'm sorry, Rick. My information says he threatened Mapes' life in front of a

dozen witnesses, one of whom was you.

What a shame.

Need a shoulder?

Call me.

You know, it's like they say, Troop.

You can't win them all.

I don't believe it.

Hallelujah, hubby's an axe murderer.

Shut up, Ed.

No, no, no, I mean it. You must be living right, MJ. You know, when the

finds out that you're going to be divorcing a no -good killer, he's going

give you everything.

And then, you know, maybe once this is over and you need someone to help with a

lonely night... Oh, make me red.

All right, Bernie, just stay cool. I haven't heard the fat lady sing yet.

Mary Jane!

Oh, honey, are you okay?

Honey?

You're too much, you know that?

I mean, coming down here like this, you didn't have to do that.

Of course I did, you big goose.

You think I don't still care about you?

God love him, Hyatt.

You listen. Yeah.

Do you hear what's going on over there?

Yeah. Sounds sort of like the roaring flames of a giant torch being rekindled.

Oh, yeah? Well, it sounds to me like the gurgling flush of our first fee going

down the sewer pipe.

And yours, too.

Is that all you ever think about, Ed, money?

No. Sometimes I think about sex. Oh, God. And if those two lovebirds patch it

up, we're all going to take a great big bath together.

What a disgusting image.

Hmm. Ed's right.

He's sick, but he's right.

We're both under contingency, meaning if they cancel the divorce action, none of

us stands to make a dime.

Okay, so?

So we've got to keep him busted up.

We've got to get Ernie out of jail. We've got to prove he's innocent.

Get him out of jail and put him back in divorce court where he belongs.

That's what I love about you two.

Underneath those Califex series lies nothing.

Oh, okay, Mr. Idealism. Do you want to get your buddy off the hook or are you

just blowing smoke over there? Keep talking.

The three of us got to team up together.

We put our combined smarts to work and we nail Mapes' killer.

That is, if Ernie's as innocent as you say he is.

You and me.

Team up.

You got a better idea?

That by dehydration, dismemberment.

Oh. Mary Jane. Ernie. Mary Jane. Ernie.

Mary Jane.

Ernie.

But for Ernie, I'll do it. Come on.

Hey, Lieutenant, we got to talk about the Petrolik case.

Oh, I get it, Rick. You cloned yourself.

Please, Lieutenant, it's urgent.

Petrolik is our client, and we were just... Ooh, our client, is it? Yeah,

and I just teamed up.

As I was saying, we do have a right to know what you got on him.

You still think he's innocent, hmm?

Well, knowing Mapes, I know whoever killed him had to take a number and

Even though Petralik owed Mapes ten big ones and was late on his payments and

was too broke to pay up and, with yourself present, threatened to kill him

shortly before the body was found less than 400 yards from Petralik's boat?

All circumstantial.

Tell that to the DA.

Listen, sweetie, help me out.

Strike a blow for the women's movement. Give me one for Gloria Steinberg.

Go away.

Hey, Lieutenant.

You know, with a face and a bod like yours, it must be pretty easy to weasel

all the scuttlebutt and rumors from the...

Real cops around here.

Lieutenant, I'll tell you what. You help us out in any teensy -weensy way that

you can, and I will get these people out of your office. Fair enough?

Very.

You got it.

Mapes was ruffling a few feathers by trying to stretch his sharking turf out

the marina and into downtown where the big boys play. Is that teensy -weensy

enough for you?

That'll do it. Okay, I close my eyes. I count to three. You disappear.

One, two...

Well, mr. And mrs. Bolandis welcome to the penthouse suite all that right there

All

right, mr. Bolandis, it's all clear

Yeah, you just park that stuff right over there

right make sure mr. Bolandis rolls is all gassed up

Hey, Marco.

Take care of him.

Thank you.

Hey,

kid.

Don't forget, there's another 50 in it for you. If you see to it, my shoes will

shine. Yes, sir.

Think I am made out of money?

Ah, come on. What are you talking about?

Look, who paid off those three creeps to spread the word there's a hot new loan

shark in town?

I did. She did.

Out of my rent money.

Oh, come on. Don't be cheap.

Is this some kind of pad or what?

Well, for six seas a day, it ought to be.

Who's picking that up?

And the car rental?

With any luck, Mary Jane Petrelick.

Yeah. Relax, Diane.

As soon as word hits the street that Big Abe Balanis is in from Chicago to take

over Mapes' territory, whoever knocked Mapes off is going to come crawling out

of the woodwork to have a look -a -see. That is, if those disgusting pool hall

cronies of yours don't take my money and get drunk.

Hey, I think our idea's paying off.

Our first pigeon's on their way up. Okay.

Just the way we planned it.

Mr. Layton, I'm looking for Abe Bolanus.

That's Marco.

You never want to make him angry.

Yeah, I'm... I'm sure.

Come in, Mr. Layton.

Meet my wife, Millie.

She's the one who can't stand Chicago.

Me, I'm a businessman.

I don't care whether the sun shines or not.

Charmed, I'm sure.

Now, what can I do for you, Mr. Layton?

I understand that you're taking over Danny Mapes' financial

dealings. Well, let's just say I'm filling a definite void in the financial

community.

Marco!

Let's quit this tangoing around and get down to business, Layton. Right.

Two weeks ago, my restaurant burned out. I need $50 ,000 to refurbish the

place.

The insurance got all balled up when the fire department report indicated

probable arson.

What kind of food do you serve?

Shut up, Millie.

Finish your tale of woe, Layton.

I went to Danny Mapes, but he wanted ten points a month.

I can't handle that.

Then we got nothing to talk about. Wait a minute. Yeah, wait a minute.

What, is there an echo in here?

Sorry, Mr.

Balanis, it's just that usually you hear everybody out.

I'm desperate, Mr. Balanis.

If I don't reopen before the end of the month, I can't hold my lease.

12 % a month, Layton. That's outrageous.

I heard on the street that you were asking 9 % per month because you were

new in town. Yeah, that's what I heard, too. Shut up, Marco.

Get me a root beer before you strain something between the ears.

Make that, too, and put a little gin in mine.

like you, Leighton.

When I like somebody, I give them a break.

11 % a month plus a point a month for the first three months to cover the

bookkeeping, huh? Take it or leave it. Well, I guess I don't have any choice,

I? 10 o 'clock tomorrow, alone.

I'll have the money.

I'm real impressed.

You're a better dirtbag than Danny Mates. Well, like we keep telling you,

you and your brother just aren't used to working with pros.

Well?

Yeah, the guy's checked in all right. With his wife, one associate.

A real dumbo gunslinger.

Well, then, if Mr. Abraham Bolanus wants a piece of my territory, I guess I'll

have to be fair and give him and his coterie the same consideration I gave

Mavis.

Oh,

beautiful.

Hey, Marco, take care of these guys.

I just lost my appetite.

Hey, come on. I gotta live this thing if we're gonna pull it off. What am I

supposed to do, starve?

We could be here for weeks before Mates Killer shows up.

Hey, Bolinas.

Who wants to know?

Mason Tribes. I've been hearing a lot about you.

Should I know you?

No, but any new addition to the local financial community...

is of special interest to me.

Oh, really?

You're a money man, Mr. Tribe?

This is my wife. She likes to talk.

Bright lady.

Local businessman.

Ask around. Everybody knows me.

Yeah? What about your friends? Everybody know them, too?

I hear you're putting money on the street.

Yeah, yeah. I do a little action.

And if I blow a payment?

You'll have to talk to Marco about that. He handles all those little details.

Well, if you're talking about rough stuff, that could be a mistake.

Hey, no muss, no fuss.

People put up the proper kind of collateral. Nobody has to get gaffed.

Well, now.

I hear you're in from Chicago.

It's a nice town.

In the summer. Winter, you can keep.

Yes, I know. I used to live in Chicago.

Whereabouts did you live?

1320 Lakeshore Drive. The big high -rise next to the Sears Tower.

Overlooking Lake Superior.

You mean Lake Michigan, don't you?

That's what I said.

You said Superior.

Never. We got a summer home on Lake Superior.

Mackinac Island.

Mackinac.

And that is on Lake Michigan.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Lookie here.

Class investigations.

Diane Gerringer.

Ed Tarpley.

You put the business cards in your purse?

What the heck were you thinking of? Why do you have to listen to me all the

time? Can't you do something on your own? Knock it off, both of you.

You. Tough guy.

What's your story?

Rick Simon.

Yeah.

Ring the bell.

Ring the bell.

Because of you and your... button -down brother my Uncle Frank had to take a

four -year hike.

You're trying to do me now, right?

What do you think?

I dare you to pull that trigger. I just dare you.

Diane, for Pete's sake, knock it off. Okay, okay, don't shoot him.

Look, he's got a client who's taking all the heat for the mapes murder.

Oh, at least that's what he says.

Thanks, partners.

Petrolink, how are you doing?

pin this on me. No, the PD's releasing him tonight. They know I didn't do it.

Oh, yeah?

Stash him somewhere where nobody will find him.

I'll find out if he's blowing smoke or not.

Rick, that's putrid.

I'm serious, Diane. You have to.

No. Not if my life depended on it. Your life does depend on it.

So does Ed. So does mine.

But he's primitive. He's disgusting.

Dying is disgusting.

Come on. Just turn it on. Let me take care of the rest.

What? Turn it on and what?

Hey.

Hey, handsome.

Yeah, you.

You don't think I mean these two lockses here, do you? What do you want?

Just stretch.

See, when I get cramped, my erogenous zones just start driving me crazy.

Your what?

My circulation's all stifled.

If you could just let me rub my... limbs.

Or maybe you could rub them for me.

Gross me out, Diane.

Where were those zones you were talking about?

Well, you may not believe this, but I spent two years at a Hindu convent in

Nepal practicing the Kama Sutra. The ancient arts of pleasure.

Secrets handed down from century to century.

Well,

once you've learned those secrets, your body is just never the same.

Is that right?

Sure.

Owning a finely tuned racing machine. Can't take it to the store and back

twice a day. You've got to take it out and let it roar.

Why didn't you ever tell me about this thing?

I need a place where I can stretch my finely controlled muscle.

You know?

Like that burp in there.

Well, let's hurry.

See my spear gun over there?

Wiggle over there, see if you can get it in your teeth.

My teeth?

Damn it, man, aren't you good for anything? Go on.

How'd you do that?

Now, if you have to ask, you don't know.

Oh, yes.

Careful! What? I said be careful. Would you shut up? I gotta be careful here.

Woo!

Ow!

Diane?

He's comatose.

What'd you do to him?

If you live long enough, I'll show you.

Maybe.

Hey, Joey.

We've got ourselves a major problem.

This old thing's a con to get me to tumble for Mapes' murder.

No way.

We did a clean job.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Either way, I can't take any chances.

Ah, damn it.

It's Ernie and Mary Jean. She probably bailed him out.

Bread and butter.

Come on, honey.

Rip gave me a key.

I'm sure he wouldn't mind donating the boat for a happy reunion.

You got a deal, Namu.

He wouldn't mind.

But I would.

Who are you?

I'm your worst nightmare come true.

Hi, guys.

Can we do that again?

Would you care for something to drink, Mr. Stein?

Yeah, as a matter of fact. You know, beer sounds good. Something dark,

Well, sir, we have quite a selection.

We have German, English, Australian, Mexican.

Ah, well, Mexican.

Sounds lovely.

You know, I just got to tell you all, service here is just delightful.

So, it needs an individual.

Though dangerously psychotic as to be a threat to oneself and one's

species.

Let me explain. No, no, no. Allow me.

One of your lovely ladies is arriving this evening.

Who?

Why, the love of your life, man.

You see, you were just so head over heels that the two of you decided on a

wedding, but right there at the altar down in the Bahamas, you just

couldn't bear to tie the knot without me and Mom there to give you away, plus

what you weren't exactly sure if this thing would stand up.

So you decided to take the very next flight back here together.

Only there was just one seat on the airplane.

So you told her, that's all right, dear, I'll fly back, I'll take care of all

the details, while you, you jump on yet another jet, fly up to the Big Apple and

buy the finest wedding dress that money can buy.

And then you fly out, and you join me, and boy, when she arrives...

What a party it's gonna be.

Couldn't have put it better myself.