Original subtitles

What would mom say if she saw us?

She'd say, don't talk like a repossessing deer. You might wake your

Humiliating. This is 500 bucks for 20 minutes. What else do which I'm doing?

Push. I'm kind of a fisherman. Has horns on the front of his car anyway. Who

minds you coming out of work, cowboy? How should I know? I'm an investigator

because I want adventure, excitement, and stimulation.

Ow! You're getting stimulated, are you?

Pain is not stimulating.

Hey!

That was stimulating.

If you can't hotwire this thing, let me know now, because he's reloading that

monster.

I can't wait to get out of here!

$600 damage?

That's outrageous.

Just to clean out a few fish?

A few fish.

I'm sure they smell now, but they were fresh enough when we delivered them

yesterday.

Oh, give me a break. How much does a radiator... No.

No.

Replacing the horns does not go on the estimate. Look, you know when you order

repossession, you... You wanted excitement and stimulation?

Are you the Simon brothers?

Yes. Yes, ma 'am. My name is Miss Wright.

You have no idea how long I've waited to meet you.

Right. Right. With a W.

I'm with Consolidated Casualty, Client Relations Department.

Right. Yes.

Won't you sit down, please, miss?

Do you have a first name?

Veronica. Veronica.

I met with Lieutenant Brown, and I told him I needed a discreet professional

with a devious mind.

He's discreet, I'm devious.

That's what he told me. I won't beat around the bush. I want you to break

Pacific Park, the marine park up near L .A.

I always knew insurance companies were thieves, but isn't this just a little

obvious?

No. Listen, it's not what you think.

I've been having a dispute with the new head of security up there, a man named

Parton, ex -paratrooper.

Ex -police officer.

We know the type. Go on. Let's just say this man thinks he's still on the force.

Makes everybody call him chief.

He claims that he's revised Park's security, and with his firm hand at the

his supervisors are entitled to a reduction in their insurance premium.

I see. And you want us to prove to him that his security isn't as tight as he

would like to believe it is.

Veronica, what you're asking us to do, then, is commit a crime. No, but you

don't actually want us to steal anything, right? We were just there to

his bravado, right?

And if we're caught, you will, of course, back up our story.

I've been authorized to spend up to $3 ,000. We're on our way. What do you want

us to steal?

You'd have to be a very sick person to rob a place like this.

Rick, we're going to rob this place.

Like I said.

We're just playing Robin Hood for Veronica. It's not the same thing.

Right.

Robbing the obnoxious to give to the beautiful.

Yeah, something like that. Is it noon yet?

Hello.

Warriors and Gorman, exterminators.

Your partner's expecting us. He is?

Yep. Oh, just a minute.

I don't show anything here, and Chief Parton's at lunch, so... He reported an

infestation of long -tailed sibidae. Apparently, they got loose here in this

office. We'll be spraying toxic chemicals.

That's a rare new Hawaiian variety.

Little suckers are almost impossible to kill.

With any luck, they won't have spread through the whole building. Be careful

there. They bite.

Yeah, howler monkey.

Just 110.

Suppose it'll give him a three -alarm ulcer if we steal his antacid? Why not?

You're back early.

Because you blew my tea time.

Who hired you, anyway?

Oh, don't go in there. The exterminators are in there.

What exterminators? The ones you called.

A couple of exterminators.

Come on, Rick. Hey, Jay. Look. What?

Oh,

my God.

What the devil are they doing here?

What are we going to do?

You're going to come with us. That's what you're going to do.

Let's go.

Hi. Chief Parton. How nice to meet you.

Uh, Miss Wright spoke very highly of you.

My name is A .J. Simon, and this is my brother Rick.

We're private detectives.

You gotta do better than that, pal.

Uh, see, what he means is, she hired us to prove that your security system still

has few holes in it.

And you did a hell of a job, didn't you?

Yeah. Now, you've got 30 seconds to tell me why I shouldn't call my friends in

blue and have you thrown into storage.

Ah. Okay, uh... Ms. Wright hired us to gather some evidence for her in the

dispute over the premiums. So we decided we would take a few harmless and

dispensable items, you know, and mail them back to you

just to show that your security wasn't impregnable.

Just think of it as an amusing prank.

That skirt's been making my life miserable for three months. Now she

polysyllabic gumshoe bums to try to catch me napping?

Okay, pardon.

You're right. You're absolutely right.

And you're justified.

But now you've got a problem you don't even know about. On our way out of here,

we spotted two guys who really could give your security system a going over.

You ever hear of Martin Rawlings and Doug Rainey?

What?

You guys go to some...

Theater improv class at night or something?

Okay, Mr. Parton, I'm going to go real slow and clear for you here.

Six years ago, my brother and I went up against these two guys. They're grand

theft specialists. Police were having no luck with them at all. Now, we've seen

some powerful people in our time, and we've seen some bad people. But these

guys combine the worst of both.

They're here, and you need help. Believe me.

You guys are too much.

Look, in three seconds, I can see what's going on in any corner of this park. I

throw one switch, and I close this joint down tighter than Scrooge. I got 20

uniforms and five planes on every hour that this park's open, and you guys are

going to save my bacon? Gee, I can't thank you enough.

Ah, Mr. Barton, this is extremely personal for my brother and me.

These guys beat us once, and they beat us badly.

Are you deaf and stupid?

Get out of here. Go home and start dreaming about some new way to make a

I'm going to have your licenses pulled.

Now get out of here.

If I ever catch you in this park again, I'll have you thrown behind bars for

trespassing.

Can't be.

Simon's work out of Diego.

Hey, come here.

Take a look at this.

Convinced now?

Coincidence. Gotta be.

Well, you want to leave it to coincidence or you want to do something

You know something?

I almost hope they do try to stop us.

Thinking about Betsy, aren't you?

What do you want to do? Flip a coin to see who gets to pull the trigger?

No, man.

We each get one.

I get blondie, you get the hat.

Yeah, uh, Tahitian Heaven Motel?

I'm looking for my brother -in -law, Doug Rainey.

Yeah, his wife just had a baby. He's staying there on business.

On his box, 50 -yard line, 25th row.

Chargers versus the Broncos this weekend. Be there.

So close you can count the hairs on Dan Fowler's beard.

No, ma 'am, that wouldn't be an hourly rate. Would you check your longer

registration?

You don't have a longer registration.

Well, thanks anyway.

Am I speaking Esperanto here or something, guys? I've been lusting after

tickets for four seasons.

What do you got?

Hot case, big buck?

No case, no bucks. Personal business.

Did you ever hear of a couple of guys named Martin Rawlings and Doug Rainey?

Can't say I've had the pleasure.

Some pleasure.

Before we met you back in Florida, before we moved out here, a jewelry

these guys hit put out a private reward for their capture.

I remember when we cornered Doug Rainey in the bar at the Cuba Libre with that

girl, Betsy Dalton.

I hit the door with my gun drawn.

It was like he knew I was coming.

And he held her in front of him.

He had a broken bottle.

And he was laughing.

He pressed that bottle into her throat.

And he laughed at me because he knew that we were playing the game by

rules.

He didn't care whether she bled to death in his arms.

So he cut her throat and threw her at me while he dove out of a window and she

bled to death in mine.

I'll contact Florida and see if the case file is still open.

You could still be a very powerful witness.

Anything else I can do to help?

They're up in L .A. somewhere.

It's a big haystack.

Well, maybe I can enlist a little sister city cooperation.

Keep in touch.

Yeah, thanks, Tim.

Yeah, Shady Shores Motel.

I'm looking for my brother -in -law, Doug Rainey.

Thirty -nine motels. They weren't in any of them. I don't care if we have to

look in 3 ,900 motels.

Make old Parton roll off the red carpet when he sees us? I don't care if he

rolls hand grenades at us.

Nothing's going to keep me from rolling some rainy.

Center is located on the lower concourse near the main gate.

Please feel free to stop by for a free match. How many times do I have to tell

you? The walruses go with the walruses, and the seals stay with the seals. Don't

talk back to me.

Now, look, I got your favorite food here. Lots of dead fish and seaweed.

come on.

Come on. Atta boy. Come on. Come on.

Come on, Blue.

Come on, Blue.

Come on.

Come on, Blue.

Come on, Blue.

Come on, Blue.

Hey, hours I spent sitting out on that point, looking out to where she lies.

Partner and I aren't interested in your memories, Captain, just your boat and

your charts.

10 %?

Hey, 10 % feels a little thin.

She's better than what you got now.

She's 100 % of nothing.

Dizzy and Daffy, the Dashling Dolphins, will be performing at... DJ, you can't

speak.

Yeah, I read you.

Wallings is coming to you.

He met with some long John Silver character. I'm going to follow.

All right, I'll stick with number one.

I feel this lousy piece of junk.

Is that your camper?

Yeah, it sure is.

Whoop.

This is security in lot A. We got a perpetrator.

Never

mind.

Never mind.

How long before we get to the site, Bates?

Depends on conditions.

What conditions?

Economic conditions, Marty.

See, my requirements have changed.

I want in for a full third now.

Listen, Captain.

I've already got a couple of old friends that want to muscle in on this party.

A couple of private dicks from San Diego.

Now, they made life miserable for us before, so you might say there's a

bad blood between us.

The risks are considerably higher now. I don't need any crap from you.

Fine. You find yourself another haul, I'll find myself a couple more divers.

Hey, to hell you will, you washed a bag of bilge. Now we're the ones who figured

out how to get that damn stuff past. What are you going to do, kill me?

I should have been dead 20 times over by men a lot better than you.

So mind your mouth.

All right, Jack. All right.

If we net more than half a million, like you say, you're in for it.

If we don't, you really will be a dead man.

Get a boy.

What are you doing here?

Waiting for you to get back?

Where the hell have you been?

And how did you get back?

A lot of good shoe leather.

Strong thumb and a gracious smile.

Not to mention, highly attractive female truck driver.

How did you do?

Well...

Oh, the old saltback Pedro.

He got right on an old lugger and took off.

Did you get the name?

No. Name and port of call covered up by a bunch of tires.

So nothing, huh?

Not a zippo.

How about you?

Well, our pals have a camper stashed at Pacific Park.

I doubt they're living in it, though. They've got so much stuff.

Cram full of stuff.

Sounds like you done good, A .J.

What kind of stuff did you find?

Oh, you know, exactly what you'd expect in a camper.

You know, clothes and camping gear, you know, that sort of stuff.

There was some coolers filled with food. There was one very interesting thing,

however.

Well, who was it, Rawlings?

No, maybe a new team member, though.

Boy, he was quick.

She. She?

She.

Can't be sure, but I think I've seen her at the park a couple of times.

Oh, that's nice.

Now we're outnumbered.

Hello?

No, honey, I was up.

Anything wrong?

No, I just realized I hadn't touched base in a few days, and

I just wanted to hear your voice, that's all.

Well, it's nice to hear from you, too.

Anything on your mind?

Is Rick okay?

Yeah, he's fine, as usual.

No, I just wanted to make sure you weren't worried about us.

Well, I always worry about you. It comes with the territory.

Yeah, I guess it does.

Well, I... I love you.

You take care.

A .J., if you need me, I'm here.

Good night.

Good night.

Okay, let's go.

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

It's only going to take a moment.

The world hasn't stopped.

AJ,

what could possibly be on there that could be as important as Rawlings and

Rainey? If you two bozos don't have this red in my hands by 30... You may be

right. All right, let's go.

Wait, there's one more.

Jeez.

Veronica, you know there is no obstacle in this world that could possibly make

me disappoint you.

When this is all over and A .J. and I have got this thing wrapped up, maybe

take Parton's job and you can be my woman. We'll settle down in our nice

house by the sea and raise a family of beautiful children.

Sounds great.

Will you change the diapers?

Why didn't you tell me she was back there?

And spoil your golden moment? Uh, look, Veronica, miss, uh, right, I didn't

mean, uh, well, I did mean... Want to know what I mean?

What? I mean I'll take you to court for non -performance unless I get some

results by Tuesday.

Bye, boys.

I think you've just had your first spat.

Our visitor center is located on the lower... I'll tell you if Rollins

kill us all, let's drive it home.

I drove yesterday. What are you complaining about?

I wonder what's going on.

That long, John?

That's what Rawlings and Rainey do. They're friends. I wonder what they got

planned for us.

I thought I told you no call.

Oh, okay. Put them on.

Where the hell are you two?

Pacific Park, but don't tell anybody. We're sort of a persona non grata up

Yeah, you don't know the half of it.

Look, Rawlings and Rainey, guys we told you about, they got a job brewing here

and it smells big.

And a guy we saw working with them just washed up dead on the beach by the park.

I'm still trying to put Florida and the LAP together on that one. But that's not

what I want to talk to you about.

All we need from you is an ID on the body.

LAPD ought to have it. They're calling it accidental, but we know better.

Would you just hush up for a minute? I want to talk to you both right away. You

got that?

Gosh, town, we're all the way up here.

Now, maybe if you got this info for us, we could meet you, pick it up, swap

pleasantries. Your office in an hour.

Be there, all right?

About an hour and a half.

That's her.

Wait, wait, wait.

Let's see where she takes us. I'd rather go there and kick her little butt all

over the park.

Yeah, but that's not likely to make her lead us to Rawlings.

What is, smart guy?

Charm and good looks.

Lieber to me.

Better let me go kick her butt.

Maintenance, janitor, anybody in there?

Spare us the righteous indignation.

I'm going to call the police. Why?

So you can explain to them how your fingerprints got all over the inside of

truck?

Who are you?

And where are Rawlings and Rainey?

Who?

I don't know what you're talking about. Look, lady, you've been following us

around ever since we got onto those two. What are they doing, hiring women to do

their hits now?

Would you get out of my room?

Okay, let's go back to the beginning.

What is your name?

Okay.

Pacific Park Security.

She works for that idiot Parton.

Don't tell me he wanted us bad enough to have us followed.

Don't flatter yourselves.

Look, lady, if you don't stop jacking us around... Okay, would you just shut up

a minute?

Gee!

is jenny burgess i worked past tense for parton until you two gonzo cost me my

job what that's right you were in my security sector when you pulled that

in his office i was out helping some kid with a skin knee anyway parton wanted a

goat and i was it and why were you at my house why'd you shake down his truck

because I heard what you said about those two big -time bandits, and I just

thought I could follow you around and maybe... Oh, wonderful.

You were going to figure out who they were and beat us to the arrests and show

Parton what an ace you are and get your job back.

Your smartest moment of the day.

And your dumbest.

You have no idea who you're up against.

Believe me, Jenny, and actually I'm impressed by what you were trying to do.

But you were in way over your head.

Well, we'll find out, won't we?

Uh -uh.

I have a proposition for you.

Join us.

No way.

Tell me it's too dangerous for a woman.

Right.

Hi, Tal.

I said an hour. Why are you hanging up too fast?

Lieutenant Brown, San Diego PD. This is Jenny Burgess. Hi, nice to meet you.

Same here.

Well, you guys know a man by the name of Warren Parton?

Yeah. He filed a complaint against you with the CIS Bureau.

Seems he's got friends up there because he got fast, fast, I'm talking fast

results. What does this mean?

It means the two of you, until you can clear up his allegations against you,

pending a hearing, of course. You want to just spit it out, town?

It means you're out of business. I want your gun. The guy has a blowhard and he

can't do this. He can and he did. I'll need your field permits. Wait, wait,

wait. Town, Town. It came from Sacramento.

Town, it's a holiday weekend.

First thing, Tuesday morning, we'll be in your office. We'll give you

you need then. Please?

Town, you know what this means to us.

Can I trust her?

We don't.

Excuse me. I'm just going to wait outside.

Well, if you find my better judgment around here, would you bring it with you

Tuesday? I seem to have lost it.

Ah, almost forgot the good news.

L .A. put an APB on your pals Rawlings and Rainey? I wish them luck.

Finding them is going to be like finding the wind. What's this?

Your drowning victim was named Kyle Bates. Not the kind of guy you want to

home to mother.

Smuggler, all -purpose drug dealer.

Dating back to days of the gambling ships.

He said he was last arrested on suspicion of transporting contraband.

what? You ever heard of Operation Bankroll?

Hmm? It was a joint task force, the IRS, the Treasury, Customs, FBI.

Supposedly, Bates was ferrying a ship back to Columbia.

They seemed to think he was taking some payoff for some huge drug deal on board.

The safe was loaded with diamonds and red gems.

It went down in a storm.

Evidence went down, too, and Bates walked.

And nobody ever found the diamonds?

Nope. Diamonds and gems at the bottom of the sea.

The sea lane is a smuggler's alley. Coast Guard patrols it day and night.

If a ship stopped to try to salvage the wreckage, they'd be caught in five

minutes. How is L .A. handling Bates's murder?

You're the only ones calling it a murder, remember?

I got this feeling.

Like the wind blowing through my guts.

Nerves?

You never had them before.

No.

It's different.

I think it's the Simon brothers.

You remember when Rick Simon weaseled his way into that poker game at the Cuba

Libre?

Before we knew he was on to us.

Blown in that cheap Havana.

I don't think he had enough bread to cover his first call.

Left us out of 400 bucks in 40 minutes.

That's not what bothers me.

I liked him for that.

It was his eyes.

A man never blinked.

You know what I mean?

I get the feeling if I blew a hole through that sucker, his eyes would

staring at me, saying, the best you can do?

Well, I'm going to make sure he does a lot more than blink. You know what I

mean?

I want to see tears in his eyes.

And in his brother's, too.

That man, that man killed Betsy.

Doug, you killed Betsy.

But I wouldn't have.

I told you I wanted to keep her.

That woman made me feel good.

He made me do it.

She'd be alive today if A .J. Simon hadn't tried so damn hard.

Hey, Doug, don't pull that emotional B .S. with me.

The surest thing I know is that when this deal goes down, somehow, someway,

those two are going to be there trying to stop us.

Just let him try babe.

Let him try.

Open one at the same time.

It's not exactly ship shape, is it?

Use a woman's touch.

What, you find something?

I don't know.

It's a page missing out of his logbook, freshly torn from the look of it.

King Harbor to Point Furman.

I'm not a sailor. Just exactly what does that mean?

I don't know.

Either it means that Bates hid his chart of Smuggler's Alley.

Or somebody we know stole them.

After they killed him.

Half bait salvage gear is missing.

Acetylene torches, hooks, floats. There's even a spot out there for a

stop. That's gone, too.

Oh, my God.

Rick, it's the treasure ship.

It has to be. Smuggler's Alley is right off of Pacific Park.

Yeah, but Towner said nobody would last five minutes diving that wreck. From a

boat. He didn't say anything about diving from shore.

Jenny, how does the park keep the water in the tanks fresh?

Supply pipes.

And Seagate, it goes down from the rocks to the open sea.

What do you think?

I think if I were Rawlings, I wouldn't wait for LAPD to tie me up to the baits.

I'd do it today.

Where do the circulating pipes come out?

The sea gates open up at the bottom of the cliff.

Low tide, they're almost exposed. High tide, they're way underwater.

So they swim out underwater, they dive the wreck, they take the gem, swim back

again to shore, and then come up through the pipe.

While the Coast Guard cruises sleepily above, nobody's alive.

That sounds crazy.

Yeah, sounds like Rainey and Rawlings.

You long?

Yeah, John's inside on roving patrol.

Look, I'm sorry, Jenny, but you're off the payroll, and you know what time we

close.

We're her cousins, and I left my camera here yesterday. You know, it's one of

those really expensive ones. It's just going to take us over to Lost and Found.

I'll have it back in three minutes. Thanks, Mick.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, Pacific Park will be closing in five minutes. I don't

suppose there's a chance we could have beaten them here.

I should be sorry. We request you make your way to the main gate as quickly as

possible. And we hope your stay in the park was a pleasant one.

Damn.

Where are they?

Well, they're not here.

Jenny, where do the pipes come back into the park?

The reef exhibit.

Come on.

I did this to you. AJ, he's losing a lot of blood. You got a handkerchief on

you? Here.

Keep pressure on that real hard. I'll get an amulet.

Hang in there, John. It's going to be all right.

I wouldn't worry about him.

I'd worry about yourselves.

This man is dying. He needs help.

You're going to die anyway.

He ain't the only one.

Where is he?

Who? That stupid hat and the man that walks around underneath it. Your

Where is he?

Go to hell, Roland.

I know you don't care about yourself.

What about her?

Come on, let him up. Let him up. You're going to kill him. AJ!

The ring is the one we want now.

Just cut him.

The filtration tanks are this way.

Come on!

Call for help.

I'll circle around.

No, call.

Right there, Rainey.

No, you hold it.

Right there.

Slide that thing over me.

Let her go.

This is just like it was before, wasn't it?

You like this girl?

Let her go, Rainey.

I like Betsy.

You made me kill her.

This would kind of put us even, wouldn't it?

I'm gonna do her, AJ.

I'm gonna do her! No!

Just relax, Rainey.

I'm putting the gun down.

Gun is down.

Someone help me, God.

If you so much as scratch her... Scratch her?

I do a lot more than scratch.

We both know what I can do.

Uh -uh.

15 % raise or it is no deal.

That's fine. And you agree to drop all proceedings against the Simons?

And I never, ever have to work another weekend shift ever again.

One more thing, Parton.

She will come back if, and only if, she never has to call you chief again.

Fine.

Fine.

So long, Warren.

You guys are amazing.

I'm surprised you didn't ask him for lifetime passes.

Warren!

Greg Simon here.