Original subtitles

Yes, I'm Elizabeth Charles. I have a reservation.

Ah, yes, from Samson. So, if you would just check this information and then

sign.

Excuse me, if I leave my bag with you, will the bellman bring it to my room,

please? Oh, of course. Thank you.

just looking for a little time off.

I mean, after a few months working with Sam Penny, she probably needs it. Yeah.

Sam's been blighty, consulting Griff Gatlin -Yard. You know, with that now

-do -I -do tone in her voice, she needs help, A .J., and I'm telling you right

up front, I don't like it. We got enough to do without carrying an extra

passenger.

Drive the car! Hi, Elizabeth.

Drive the car!

So, cousin, you here on business or pleasure?

This is what they're after.

Aunt Ramona's family journal.

Aunt Ramona?

Mm -hmm.

Was she the one who was engaged to Ward Bond?

No, no, that's Mom's cousin from Pomona. Aunt Ramona is the one that Grandma

used to clam up about every time the kids came into the kitchen.

Oh, yeah. You mean, uh, I don't care how rich that hussy is, she ceased to exist

for me the day she left Cousin Abbott before the circus felt like children

wouldn't you like some chocolate chip cookies?

That's the one.

Aunt Ramona used to keep the family journal, and then when she died, it went

Wilbur and Orville Simon.

Wilbur and Orville, the shoe salesmen from Buffalo.

Right. You never outgrow your feet at Simon Brothers Shoes, Wilbur and

That's right.

Elizabeth, you didn't. Well, they sent me the journal so that I could prove

their claim to an inheritance. I mean, it seems simple enough.

We turned them down over a month ago. Didn't we ever tell you never work for

your family?

No, you didn't. Never work for your family, especially not when it's two

who were born the same year the Wright brothers flew at Kitty Hawk.

Mom says Wilbur hasn't been the same since he swallowed some bad bathtub gin

1928. Look, all I have to do is prove that they're related to a man named

Danvers who died in Florida last year.

Is that all?

Yeah. And then if I do, they can get a nice condo down there.

Elizabeth.

Wilbur and Orville have some vague, obliterated notion of having somewhere,

sometime, somehow, having heard of some unknown relative named Danvers.

Yeah. Danvers isn't in the journal.

Then why is somebody trying to steal it?

I think it had something to do with the World Genealogical Society in Los

Angeles. See, I hired them to help me.

And then when they started getting too expensive, I fired them. That's when the

trouble started.

Uh -huh.

And you're sure it has to do with the book?

A few days ago, there was a burglary in my apartment, and then someone tried to

snatch it on the street, and I was obviously followed down here.

Elizabeth, what could possibly be in that book that would make it worth

stealing?

Well, seems we had a great uncle who was somehow mysteriously involved in the

Louisiana purchase.

Of course, I can't tell from this whether he's buying or selling.

Well, I was going to ask you two to go undercover at the Genealogical Society

help me figure it out. But we've been seen.

Right. We need a fresh face.

What's going on? Mr. Sturzenacker just drew a royal flush.

I'm sorry?

We discovered that Dad's family has a 14th century connection to King Waldemar

of Scandinavia.

Mom and the kids want him to claim the throne of Denmark.

Oh, you never know what kind of skeletons you'll find once you start

those roots.

Yeah, well, I'm here digging for gold myself.

and compete for cash prizes. Go out on a limb with your ancestors and win big

bucks.

First to the top of your tree wins $10 ,000 and the camper trailer of your

choice. Your society will get a cut if I win, say, oh, 10%. Okay, make it 20%.

You drive a hard bargain.

I don't know anything about this.

And neither does anyone else. You see, I run the print shop where these entry

forms were copied.

And we don't have much time.

Every minute counts, Mr...

Scott. Yeah.

Nolan Scott.

Uh, very well, uh, what's your last name?

Brown. Brown.

M .P. Brown, San Diego.

There are a lot of Browns.

Oh, yeah. Big family.

Big, big family.

Big, big. This could turn out to be quite a project.

Why don't you give me a few hints and see if we can't narrow it down a little?

Oh, we have cousins and aunts and uncles all over the place.

They're the Cleveland Browns, of course.

And there used to be some Browns in St. Louis, but they moved.

Orville?

Orville, can I talk to Wilbur?

Where is Wilbur?

When does he get back from jogging?

All right, look, just tell him that we are on the case with Elizabeth.

Can't talk to Orville after 3 o 'clock. He's probably been hitting the

roundhouse cider again.

All I know about these guys is that every year we used to get a Christmas

in the shape of a boot with a shoelace taped inside.

One shoelace.

Took you two years to tie your shoes.

The last time Orville and Wilbur were out here was for our wedding.

They took a bus the whole way. They're afraid of flying.

I hope town's having some luck because we're getting nowhere fast here.

Well, that would be Uncle Abe.

Yeah, he was an inventor. The second man to invent the telephone.

And then there was Aunt Mahalia. Yeah, she was a pioneer flyer. In her last

flight, she broke the air speed record from Anchorage to Mount McKinley.

I was told we had a cousin at the Alamo, but nobody remembers him.

Why don't I start you off with some reference books?

I'll go back to the stacks and get them. Thanks, I'll wait.

Boy, this is interesting.

Did you know that one of our ancestors was a pioneer land -grant homesteader

back in the 1800s? Where?

Dakota Territory.

Hanged. Blackwater Falls.

December 17, 1871.

For cattle rustling and adultery.

That's your side of the family popping up again?

Not the kind of information worth stealing a book for.

What is this key without a door?

Is that some kind of antiquated phrase? Because that's the second time I've run

into it. Let me see.

Yeah, here it is.

Let's see.

Private Pierce Simon, Camp 7th Cavalry in the Montana

Territory along the Rosebud River under the command of Colonel Custer.

I learned of the key without a door from old Uncle Wayne in Boston,

Massachusetts.

Gotta go now. Just spotted two Sioux.

No, make that... He never finished it.

A key without a door.

It sounds like a riddle. I saw that in the revolutionary section, but they

said what it was.

Well, you know, I mean, a key without a door.

That's, uh, well, you know, it's an entrance to something that's locked.

How can you lock an entrance without a door?

A key without a door.

A key without a door.

A key without a door.

I

thought I told

you never to come here.

Did you get it? No, no, we didn't. She had help. Two guys from San Diego.

Probably her two cousins.

San Diego?

I think you'll find much about the Brown clan in there.

All right, guys, hold it.

I'm with the San Diego Police Department.

I want to ask you a few questions.

Where's your warrant?

Yeah. Look, uh...

I can get back to you on that, or perhaps just call you on the phone. You

probably want this.

Nothing to worry about.

Just a little accident. I'm sorry about the disturbance.

We'll have it cleared up in no time.

Thank you.

He took the letter.

That, the Simon family journal, is all they'll need.

Need for what?

What's so important about this Simon journal anyway?

Nothing special.

Except it means we can retire as rich men.

We can get out of this whole racket.

Book is the key.

Key without a door.

So, Scott touts himself as a famous consultant, experienced in Burke's

from London, and society puts him on a retainer. The problem is, his

don't exactly check out.

Fraud. Maybe.

Burke's never heard of him.

Here's a copy, Lieutenant.

Thanks.

I found this letter from the 1700s in the Simon file. It was written to a

named Marguerite Danvers.

Oh, no one in the genealogical society ever showed this to me.

Was this written by a Simon?

Yeah, a Benedict Simon. Benedict Simon, right. He was in the book.

He lived in Boston during the Revolutionary War with his brother

Oh, my God.

I dare not face your father, sweet Marguerite, for I know he thinks me a

scoundrel and a wastrel. Well, it's Simon.

But my love for you is true, and I wish you'd come away with me.

As for money, we have no worry, for the family secret has been passed to me.

The secret of the key without a door.

Where to find the lost treasure of the Simons.

Please listen to me.

We think there may have been a marriage between Benedict Simon

and Marguerite Danvers.

I can't congratulate them, Wilbur, because they're dead.

Uh... No, Wil... Wilbur... Wilbur, please don't cry.

Um... What I meant, what I was really trying to say was that they're dying to

hear from you.

Yes, we'll call you from Boston.

Boston!

Bye -bye.

Wilbur is not any better than Orville.

How long is he going to be gone?

Just as long as it takes to find the Simon family fortune.

All ties together, A .J. Come on, this secret has been passed down from

generation to generation.

If old Wayne Simon told his young nephew about the key without a door, that

means Benedict didn't find it. Maybe somebody else did.

And maybe they didn't look. We're the first detectives in the family tree.

If we find out there's a marriage between Benedict Simon and this Danvers

we're probably going to find a clue as to where he went looking for the

treasure. And we just track him like we track anybody else.

Benedict's trail may be a little cold.

Oh, what's a couple of hundred years? We'll find a clue.

I think it's wonderful.

I hope Orville and Wilbur get the condo, and I hope you find the treasure. But

even if you don't, you'll have a chance to learn about your roots.

It's almost like you're working for the whole family.

I wish I were going along.

Well, why don't you go?

No, no, no.

We're not the only ones involved in this treasure hunt.

Might get dangerous, Sam. Tom's checking out this consultant for the

Genealogical Society. We can't prove anything against him yet.

You're going to have to man the home front. Take real good care of Marlowe.

They're printing out crunchy niblets in the cupboard there.

Mom, don't tell Orville and Wilbur how to reach us.

Suitcase. They're leaving town.

I told you.

They made a connection to this Benedict, Simon.

I bet they're flying east.

Find out where. Book us in first class. Those three are obviously first class

passengers. They'll never see us. Right.

Wayne Simon home.

Come

on,

Birdman. We need it now.

Excuse us.

Excuse us.

We're looking for information about Benedict Simon, Wayne Simon's brother.

Lady, you just turned off the Boston Celtics. My name is Ms. Charles.

Ms. Charles, you just turned off the Boston Celtics.

Welcome to the restored home of Wayne Simon, revolutionary war hero who

the immortal phrase, give me liberty or give me death.

Patrick Henry said that.

Well, Wayne Simon said something very similar. All those guys were saying

much the same things.

Okay. My name is A .J. Simon.

This is Rick Simon. This is our cousin, Elizabeth.

My goodness, if I'd known the family reunion was scheduled, I wouldn't have

booked the Korean tour group.

All right, we're looking for biographical information on Benedict

journals, anything like that.

All I got is this.

What is it? The fun -filled walking cassette tour of the historic Wayne

home. Is this gonna tell us about Wayne and Benedict Simon?

Beats me. I've never listened to it.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Welcome. The tour begins in the drawing room.

To your right.

A walking cassette tour is not gonna tell us what we need to know.

Gonna be harder than we thought.

Ah, come on, you guys. You've done this a thousand times before.

You even did it in an empty room once.

There are clues here. It's just an exercise in deduction.

We've just got to be able to see it through their eyes.

Whose eyes?

Their eyes.

Wayne and Benedict.

Hit the tape.

You are standing at the crossroads of history.

Here in Boston, a small group of men changed the course of human events and

forged a new nation.

One of those men was Wayne Simon, a publisher known throughout the colonies

his extraordinary penmanship, a most important skill of his time.

Along with his brother, the radical known as Mad Benedict Simon,

Wayne took part in a dramatic prelude to the nation's destiny on a fateful night

in 1775 when he uttered the famous cry, The British are coming. The British are

coming. The British are coming to dinner.

I want this place cleaned up immediately.

Redcoats in this house.

A little socializing never hurt a political cause, Benedict. Remember,

above treason.

Another of your pithy quotes. Ben Franklin is probably quaking in his

envy. This is exactly the attitude that cost you a seat in the next Continental

Congress.

I'm sorry, Wayne.

You deserved it, of course.

It's no matter.

Hancock and Adams are good men.

They're letting me come along as an alternate.

Most of the men voted for you.

If women could vote, you'd be in.

You did place a close third, a terribly close third.

One puny vote.

So, who else is joining us this evening?

You did vote for me, did you not, brother?

How can you even ask me that?

After all, I let you pitch your tent in my backyard.

I let you drink my grog.

I feed your lazy, good -for -nothing horse.

And you didn't even vote for me?

Paul, welcome.

Come in. Have a grog. I can't stay.

The British are coming.

I know. They'll be here any minute.

You already know?

We received word that General Gage's army is moving on Lexington and Concord.

They want to arrest Sam Adams and John Hancock. I need a really good steed, one

fearless and fleet of foot. Take Wayne's horse.

No, I have a far better idea. John Larkin's horse is far more fearless and

of foot than mine.

Yes, I'll try Larkin. I really better go. No, no, no. Stay and have a grog.

could one little grog hurt? It's hardly midnight here. You can have it in the

silver tankard that you made for us.

Have I told you, by the way, what good work this is? Look, I'm sorry. I really

have to go.

Can you do one thing for me? Certainly.

Tell Newman to signal the boys in Charlestown as soon as we know the

plans. They'll be watching the old North Church tower.

Hang two lanterns if they come by sea, one if by land.

Two if by land? No, no, no, no.

One if by land.

One if by land, two if by...

Sea. Two if by sea. One if by land, two if by sea. I don't know, Paul. What

about one if by day, two if by night? I mean, time's important here, too. Then

you could have three if on horseback, four if by foot. Look, it's all set.

tell Newman, and Newman will handle it.

It's your show.

Two if by land, one if by sea. One if by land, two if by sea.

The British are coming! The British are coming!

The British are coming! The British are coming!

I demand some answers here.

Who bought this bell?

Why is it cracking already?

Who is covering up?

We will continue this debate after tea time.

I think we're all out of tea, Mr. Chairman, after Boston Harbor.

Fine. Coco, then.

It's Coco time.

And in support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of

divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other...

Something. I haven't come up with it yet.

We mutually pledge to each other a lot of gold.

A lot of guns.

Our lives, our fortunes.

Franklin, get your head in the game here, okay?

Okay, what did I just say, Tom? We mutually pledge our lives, our fortunes.

like that, John. Our sacred honor.

Wayne, why don't you skip out and get us some crumpets? I'm famished.

Think about that last line some more, Wayne.

Thanks, kid.

We'll have lunch.

We mutually pledge to each other.

Our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.

I like that bed.

I thought you would, John.

Wayne? Mother, what are you doing here? Wayne, you have some influence. You must

talk to them about the flag.

Mother, we're trying to draft a declaration of independence in there.

can come later. I was just over with Betsy Ross, and your brother walked in

that General Washington. I just happened to mention to the General that I have

an old girlfriend who has this rather odd habit of making flags.

And he marches in with a design he thought of himself.

Imagine the ego.

Mother, he is the commander of the entire Continental Army.

He has no color coordination.

Red, white, and blue. Can you believe it? Those are the colors of the British

flag. I mean, who are we fighting here?

And stars and stripes. Can you imagine writing a song about stars and stripes

and red, white, and blue?

Besides, stripes make you look fat.

Mother, I'm sure everything will turn out just fine.

And I feel confident that you'll be very pleased with the Declaration of

Independence. No more reason about treason?

As a matter of fact, I'm playing around with a new phrase. Try this on for size.

We hold these truths to be self -evident.

That all men are created equal.

That they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights.

That among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I'm sorry, Simon. There just isn't enough room.

If Hancock hadn't taken up half the page... Don't worry about it, kid. I

big plans for you.

Thank you for visiting the Wayne Simon home.

Souvenirs, keychains, and T -shirts are available.

Couldn't possibly be true.

Why not?

It happened exactly that way. No Simon would ever have invited the British to

dinner. Okay, all right, wait a minute.

Isn't there anything in this that could be construed as a clue?

Nothing about Marguerite Danvers.

A key without a door.

So this is the dead end?

What kind of a clue is going to last for 200 years?

Something worth saving.

Family secrets worth saving.

You can bet Benedict and Wayne here saw to it that it was well preserved.

So what are we looking for then? Treasure map?

Paul Revere was a silversmith, right?

It's right on the tape that he used to do special pieces for Wayne and

What does this look like to you?

Looks like it's supposed to be Florida.

And this?

Isn't that Pirate's Key?

The Simon family have lived there for generations.

That's right. We used to go visit Grandma and Grandpa there all the time.

My old house is practically right on top of this.

Pirate's Key.

It's a key without a door.

The Celtics now will get their opportunity with 14 seconds left to

ball is in to Danny Ainge. Ainge gives it to Dennis.

Thank you.

Do you have a public phone around here?

Right up front.

That's 375 for the tour. A piece?

375. I'm going to go call Wilbur and Orville, give them an update, unless

like the honor. No, no, no.

You can have that pleasure.

All right, you got enough change? They don't accept collect calls.

Okay.

Wilbur?

Hi, it's Elizabeth.

I'm in Boston.

Elizabeth, your cousin from sec... Never mind.

Listen, I've got some news.

I just... Hey!

Don't they know guns are illegal in Boston?

Look, I don't need the family journal. I read that section over and over.

The ship wasn't sunk in a battle. It was scuttled. So what?

So it's got to be near the shore. People saw it go under.

There are thousands of reefs, sandbars, rocks.

They could have scuttled a ship anywhere along the Florida coastline.

But they didn't. Don't you see?

This is the key without a door.

Pirate's key.

The treasure must have gone down with the ship.

The girl is right. It's just offshore.

She's wrong.

One quick look will tell us which it is.

Do we still need her?

I've got you this far. You need me. I studied the book, and I know the Simon

mine because I've got one.

Wait till we see if anything's out there.

And she knows that our only chance to find her is if she leads them to the

treasure. Yeah, but the family journal doesn't tell us anything about where

ship went down. Just a story about that old pirate tavern.

Who knows where that used to be?

Well, look, she knows the journal. She knows we have it. So there's got to be a

clue in here somewhere. All right, all right. Read it again.

In this, the year of our Lord, 1692, I, Evangeline Simon, found...

Found my two sons, Jack and Francis, for the first time in over a year,

and then lost them again.

For the sea causes people to come together and then tears them

away again.

And one man may come back, a rich lord, and one a bloodthirsty, murderous

pirate.

I'll go no more.

He scared all the customers away.

People don't come to their favorite tavern to be beaten and robbed.

Things will pick up as soon as they find themselves a fair new ship.

Ah,

it's the pretty Sir Francis.

Mother!

Frenchie!

That he died in a shipwreck off New Providence.

He's a changed man, Francis.

For the worst.

They call him Black Jack now.

You must hurry.

Once and for all.

Ah.

Francis.

Not long ago, I served aboard the good captain's ship.

And he healed all he did.

And he's the kind.

I have felt they kill you. I scan the nine tails.

For the guy who bailed the ingrate out of debtor's prison.

Give him a job?

Aye.

That I should chew on salt pork in our deck while a good captain grew

fat on roast pig.

That I should sleep better dicks on a plank while he snored atop a feathered

mattress.

That I should swab his... Dex, while he looked down on me.

His own brother.

Mutiny led by my own brother. How do you think that looked back in a home

office?

Look at you now.

Aren't you ashamed of yourselves? Bicker, bicker, bicker, ever since you

little boys.

How about shaking hands?

Bad idea. Well, now, boys, after all the years together and the good times, do

you really want to kill each other?

Or would you rather...

of hot buttered rum.

And all the other serving wenches and milking maids you squandered our family

fortune on.

Our poor mother,

forced to sing for farthing, sinner tavern.

To seek new ports to rape, pillage, and plunder.

Off to the caves!

Mother, take a message to my men.

Scuttle the ship.

Don't let the pirates have it.

I don't know, Francis. They're awfully bad for business around here.

Mother, please. It's my dying request.

Well, if you put it that way.

And what about the treasure?

What? The treasure. What about the treasure?

Uh, let it go down with the ship.

Okay, fine.

Where's the ship?

Where is it? I don't know where it is.

Well, then we gotta go to the closest thing we can find to the ship.

To the one thing that's gotta be there after all these years.

Off to the cave.

the merchant ship.

Uh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

I don't think we're on course anymore.

I mean, look at this. Nobody's even been through here since 1692.

I used to see these caves all the time from the boat when I'd go out on

It's right up ahead here. Come on.

Think so.

It's her.

Boy, are we glad to see you.

I was afraid you'd gone to join that big family reunion in the sky.

Oh, I almost did. They drugged me before they brought me down here. When I saw

that needle, I wasn't so sure telling them about Pirate's Key was such a great

idea. Where are they?

They found the wreck. They're diving for the treasure right now.

It doesn't make any difference.

We've got you, and that's what matters.

I never thought I'd be so glad to see relatives drop by without calling.

How many have I got?

Four.

You all right? You can be able to walk? I'll be okay.

I thought you said there were four of them.

I did.

I'm always armed.

Come on. We got work to do.

Yeah, and when Florida and Massachusetts finish with him, we have a few charges

back here, too.

Yeah, seems a lot of Scott's customers have reported stolen historical

artifacts. Appears he's been selling them in foreign countries. Where have

been, anyway? We've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

Uh, uh, we've been about 30 felons under Pirate's Key, Mom. Dive in for

treasure. Did you get anything?

Yes, we got wet.

At the rate of $500 an hour. That's basic salvage rate. An onboard crane,

suction pump, and a salvage crew of 13 expatriate Cubans that Rick found in a

waterfront dive somewhere. Cousteau never had a more loyal crew. We have no

reason to believe they had anything to do with stealing our clothes. And our

wallets?

Yeah, it was a fortune. A fortune in molasses. But listen, at least we found

that Marguerite Danvers was married to Benedict Simon. It's right here in the

files at the Piracy Port House.

So Orville and Wilbur get their condo. We tried to call them with the good

Mom, but they weren't home.

Do you have any idea where they are? Have you heard from them? No, not a

I'll go by your office and check your messages. Maybe they called.

What'd you do? What'd you go and broke the window for? Yeah, I was just trying

to knock to see if there was anybody at home, but... Didn't hear a lot. You were

tapping there?

What? Oh, never mind. It's just a post.

Anyway... Oh!

Watch out for my foot! Get it out of there. How are you?

Oh.

You here, Bill?

No.

I wonder how come they invited us to come out here.

They weren't going to be around all the way from Buffalo.

I know.

I said, well, might as well wait, though.

I'm sick and tired of getting you down to the channel bar and the hotel.

I'm going to put you in ramps. No, you're not, champ. It's just a hard

cocktail wait. No, no, no. You're deaf as a post. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It reminds me. I got a phone number last night.

A lovely little grandmother lives out near the airport.

Invited me out to her place to pet the jets with her.

I didn't say nothing about airplanes.

Get on your feet, old brother.

Woman's got a sister.

Willie.

Help you with something, young fella?

You must be Orville and Wilbur.

That depends on who you are.

Lieutenant Brown. I'm a friend of Rick and AJ's. Who?

You'll get a big kick out of that.

I have to excuse my brother there. It's hard to practically everything, you

know?

Well, your cousins, Rick and A .J., are still in Florida, but they told me to

stop by and give you the good news.

What's that?

Elizabeth has solved the case.

Who? Your cousin, Elizabeth. She's solved the case. The condo is yours.

Oh!

Oh! Oh! You hear that, Wilbur?

You hear that? There's no more winters in Buffalo.

No, it's going to be sunshine from here.