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Child -stealing is a police matter. No, no police.
They should be more comfortable in the trunk.
These are human lives we're playing with. A lot of people are gonna die.
Battle stations.
Oh boy.
If it takes three bodies on the side of the road, I want the rock back.
One blast and the whole field could go up into town along with it.
Are we sitting right on top of this thing?
when they wiped out the Death Colony with the Poison Crystal.
Remember they all started turning green?
Daddy!
Huh? What's the matter? You liked Space Warp the first time we saw it. You said
you liked it even more the second time.
Well, honey, I was looking for a phone booth. I have to make one call before we
go in, okay?
Another one? We'll miss the princess escaping from the planet Targon. No, we
won't. Um, I'll tell you what.
You hold our place in life.
and I'll be back in a micro light second.
Before my dad goes away again, I'm going to get him to buy me a Cronon wire.
You know, the one with all the darts.
I got slime bees for my birthday.
His head and tail comes off, and you can take him in the tub.
I've got him. 500 miles to talk to you. We've been friends for 15 years and you
won't even see me face to face.
Because these are human lives we're playing with. A lot of people are going
die. I don't care how much money is at stake.
What you can't do without me, you know that.
Well, then I'll make the decision for you.
You bet I'm threatening you.
This is Dennis Wilkie with First Fidelity calling for Richard Simon.
This is in reference to a car payment.
It's the third time I've called, and I'm afraid if I don't get a response, I'm
going to have to turn this matter over to our collection department.
Hi, it's Donna from Leather World for AJ.
Your suede jacket came in today.
I'll be here till nine all week. Whatever it is, it's going back.
It can't. It can't. No, see, I got this on sale, and you're never ever going to
be able to buy a VSA this cheap again. Not ever.
$300? You pay $300 for a VSA? Don't worry about it. I'm paying for it on
Your time, not mine. I do not need a VSA.
What is a VSA?
Sentry voice stress analyzer electronically processes speech from any
live, recorded, or telephone.
Monitors emotional stress levels. What?
Let you know whether people are lying or not. Rick, our bank account is in Death
Valley. You are now ordering up the vultures.
If you want toys, you call Fatta Claus.
We haven't even paid off your night vision glasses from last week.
Beautiful.
How did you get here?
What are you doing here?
I sneaked out of the house while you were on the phone.
I'm hungry.
Are we there yet?
You've done something very bad. Do you know that? Do you?
I just wanted to come with you, Daddy.
Do you realize what your mother must be going through? How scared she is? We
could call her.
She's got police looking for you all over the state.
Probably thinks I kidnapped you.
I can tell them you didn't.
Worst possible time.
Of all the stupid things to do, Irene.
I'm sorry, Daddy.
Okay, look.
We'll get to San Miguel, we'll call Mom, and then we'll get you back home as
soon as possible. Do you hear me?
May I do the shift? No, sit down.
I'll let you drive.
That was three years ago at Yosemite. Looks like a fun trip.
It was. There were lots of those.
The traveling's what finally split us up.
I didn't want Irene to grow up in a sleeping bag, and I guess Steve didn't
to grow old behind a desk.
How long have you been separated?
A year and a half.
We wanted to be real sure before we made it final. Well, I'm sure now.
Well, Mrs. Cain...
Your husband has violated a custody order.
Child stealing is a police matter. No. No police.
I couldn't do that to him.
I mean, how could Steve keep up child support from jail?
It's tough enough waiting for the checks to come in from Mexico every month.
Mexico? Yes, Steve's been working down there for the last six months.
He's an explosives expert with an oil company, and they've been out in the
field. Well, okay.
Yes, he's with a small independent here in town, Waller Oil.
They've been working a field a few hundred miles south of Ensenada.
I'm sure he's taken Irene down there.
Mrs. Gaines, I'm going to be very honest with you.
It's going to be very tough for us to work on a case like this in Mexico.
First of all, we don't even have a license to operate down there. And
there is no extradition for this kind of event. We don't have to worry this lady
with details.
If anybody can get Irene out of Mexico, it's us.
Now, look, we're going to handle this for you, okay?
Okay.
Bill, we got troubles.
Gaines' wife just hired a couple of private investigators.
Why the hell would he have her do something like that?
I just can't believe Steve Gaines will try to deep -six us.
Don't worry.
Tell you, Rick. We are looking at a recipe for disaster here.
Come on. What are you talking about, man? This is a natural. I know Mexico
the back of an enchilada.
Hey, I do. You remember that year right after graduation?
I split from home. Where do you think I was?
You were hiding out from Margot Kenley's father.
But where?
I was in Mexico working in the oil fields. I worked roustabout. I'm telling
this. Cannot admit. Now, come on. Get in the car. Let's go.
Rick? What? They have their own kidnapping laws down there. Now, hey,
We get caught trying to bring that little girl out. You and I are going to
eating fried beans and rice for the rest of our lives. That's better than not
eating at all. Now, come on. Let's get a move on here. You may find it amusing.
I do not like flying blind.
Hey, don't worry about it. It's where you land that counts. Hello?
Yeah, yeah. Here's the keys to the office, okay?
And A .J. says that he wants you to water the plants for him.
Oh, yeah. The dwarf palm gets water every other day, okay?
Okay. The cataractus cannot stand the sun, so don't put that in the sun.
No sun.
Wait a minute. Maybe it's the other way around.
Rick. Yeah, yeah. The dwarf palm can't stand this. No. The dwarf palm gets
watered every other day.
What's that mutt doing in here?
Oh, I'm keeping him while they go to Mexico.
Right? I wasn't referring to the dog.
Marlo will eat anything in a can or any form of raw meat.
And we owe you a night on the town.
As soon as we get back from Mexico, we'll pay you for it, okay? All right.
Take care of yourself.
Okay.
Adios, Myron. I'll send you a postcard.
Bon voyage.
Rick? Yeah?
Drink of the water.
I had my eye on all that for the garage sale.
Mom, this is good stuff.
Oh, by the way, have you seen my snake bite kiss?
It's around here somewhere.
About 15 years ago.
Okay, Mom.
How about a kiss for luck?
And one for your brother, too.
And stay away from... Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
Water and tequila.
And things that go bump in the night.
Mom.
Bye -bye.
Hey, lighten up, Mochacchio. We're on the high road to adventure and
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. This is the big deal of the day, all right. Behind curtain number one, we
have dysentery and scorpions.
Curtain number two, a father who will probably kill to keep his daughter. And
number three, 50 years in the Mexican prison of your choice. I was wondering
when you would get into the spirit of this thing.
I don't think so, honey. This is not exactly his style.
Jeffy!
What are you doing here?
Don't bother unpacking.
We're going out to the ranch.
Get out of my daddy's room!
It's okay, honey. They're from the oil company.
Irene, honey, why don't you go over and read a magazine while we go outside and
talk, okay?
I want to come, too.
She's going to have to.
You leave her out of it.
This is between Waller and me. She has nothing to do with it. She does now.
Let's go.
I'm not going anywhere until I go to the bathroom.
What was that?
Armadillo.
Why didn't they make lousy hunt ornaments?
No kidding.
Hey.
Hey.
What is this doing in here, huh?
Oh, I just figured it might come in handy. Oh, good.
You just bought half of it. Oh, no, I didn't. Forget it, Charlie. That's your
toy. You bought it. You pay for it.
What's wrong? Why aren't you arguing with me?
It's too hot to argue.
Oh, come on, Rick. Don't give me that. You've never given up that easily on 300
bucks before.
Look, let's just call it even and forget it.
Call it even? What do you mean? Call what even? Well, you brought something
mine, I brought something of yours. That's even, right? You brought
mine? Yeah. What did you bring?
What did you bring in?
Rick! I just taped that little lightweight .38 to the wheel well there.
never know when you're going to need a friend.
You brought firearms? arms into Mexico? Are you insane?
No, I'm just careful.
Well, that's nice, Rick. That's nice.
Now the Federales can get us for kidnapping and smuggling. Will you come
Well, we're young. This case is going to be over in no time. You know that,
don't you?
No, Gaines is going to be real happy to give us that kid.
It's always the same way in a case like this. The father starts feeling sorry
about it as soon as the kid starts yelling for mama.
Too bad your kid had to get dragged into this.
Yeah.
All you had to do was keep your mouth shut and you would have been rich.
Would have been nice for her.
Good college, clothes.
You could have bought her a car when she turned 16.
Unless, of course, I'm right and we end up blowing this town off the face of the
map.
And she'd come and visit me in prison.
Jack, there's still enough time to talk to Waller.
If we all agree not to go along with this insanity.
Getting rich isn't insane.
Being paranoid is.
Look, why don't you just relax?
Stop making waves.
Enjoy the water. Yeah, before we all go under.
You want to know something? I don't really much care what happens to you
anymore. If we didn't need you for the blasting...
It's your kid I feel sorry for.
What did he mean, Daddy?
Nothing, honey.
Did I do something else wrong?
You couldn't do anything wrong if you tried. You know that?
You're perfect just the way you are.
where that came from.
Do you speak English?
I thought so.
My name is Tom Seymour, and today could be the best day of the rest of your
life. Look out there.
What do you see?
Manuel and his chicken. No, you have to use more than your eyes. You have to
look into the future.
Couldn't that be Ricardo Montalban on location in front of your famous
of the dancing waters?
Knock out that wall.
What do you see?
There is the Club Med, frolicking in your Olympic -sized swimming pool.
In the swimming pool?
The stables!
A nightclub!
Featuring everybody from, oh, Trini Lopez to Bobby Vinton.
And $50 ,000 a year for the manager who, if I'm not mistaken, looks very much
like you.
Am I wrong?
Yes.
No. When?
Oh, as soon as I make my report to the brass, bring them down here. My chain
will move in before you can say rich Corinthian leather.
Well, it just so happens the hotel is for sale.
Ah.
Signore? I'm a little worried about the view here. I think, uh...
I'm afraid how that's going to look from the second story. I'll tell you what,
why don't you just have one of the maids take me upstairs and I'll check it out,
okay? Maids?
What maids?
Of course.
Why don't you just give me the passkey and I'll go check it out for myself,
What is this?
Hey, who did I talk to you about getting a job?
A friend of mine told me his outfit might be hard.
Maybe. What do you do?
Oh, a little bit of everything.
Work roughneck, mostly.
Hey, Luis, can you use another body on your gang?
Don't mind him. Ace Gringo.
Uh -huh.
Now you want to see his Frank Dawson, school busher.
All right.
Tell me this now.
Is that fellow working around here named Gaines?
A buddy of mine said if he was, I was to look him up.
Yeah, he's with us. I got a message I want to deliver to him. Why don't you
it to me? I'll give it to him.
I don't think you want to do that. See, when old Clyde told me to give him the
message, he said I better get ready to either duck, run, or fight.
Well, uh, whenever I see him, I guess I'll see him.
I'll come back in a while and talk to this fellow Dawson. Is that it?
You can talk to him right now. That him?
Hey, Frank, another roughneck for you.
Howdy.
Find out if he knows how to handle a rig.
We've got a stuck valve on the pipeline down by number four.
Get a new man, we'll lose another week.
I'm telling you, gang is driving everybody crazy talking about blowing
up. Just talk, forget it. What if it isn't?
What if he's right?
He's not right.
There's always a risk.
For two million dollars apiece, that's one risk I'm willing to take.
Okay, senor.
Okay, we lose the mariachis and we go, we go electronic.
Electronic.
Comprende?
Space invaders.
Pong, eh?
Ganyfives. Go fish.
Just what I've been trying to tell you, Bill.
When they first opened this field, it was all directional drilling. We're down
to 12 ,000 feet on a 30 -degree angle, which puts us right underneath the town.
Now, this kind of geological structure supports natural gas caverns with one
blast, and the whole field could go up in the town along with it. You got any
sixes? Nope.
Let me see the core sample.
No, I don't have any.
Well, you saw that one. I only have one. It's only one.
Looks normal enough to me.
It is normal. And if a thousand human lives weren't involved, we could go
and blast and take our chances.
What do you want me to do, evacuate the whole town?
Pemex hears about this, we're out of business.
I promise them results by Friday.
We are guests in this country.
It's bad enough you've been shooting your mouth off.
Please!
I've been scraping sand and dust for 30 years waiting for a chance like this. I
haven't seen my daughter in 10 months.
Okay, so your marriage is on the rocks.
Busted backs and broken marriages are part of the territory.
But this is one chance we have to live the rest of our lives in comfort.
I don't think we'll ever have another chance like this again.
Jack, why don't you take Irene for a ride around the ranch?
Oh, neat!
Yeah, neat.
How much did you tell your wife about this?
I didn't tell her anything. Why?
She sent a couple of private detectives down here. Did you have her do that?
No, I didn't have her do that.
She must have sent them down here after Irene.
Okay, look, whether you like it or not, we need each other right now.
Look, Steve, I'm offering you a deal.
We send Irene back home tomorrow.
But forget about all the trouble you've been causing. You even keep your share.
Two million dollars, give or take.
All you have to do is stay on the job and let me take the responsibility of
happens.
Remember, my name is on the company. You're just following orders.
Believe me, pal.
Everything's going to be okay.
This is the last nowhere town we'll ever have to see.
Maybe you can straighten your marriage out.
Watch your kid grow up.
Steve, let's not blow this.
Why don't you go find the kid and tell her she's going back?
Yeah.
Make sure of one thing.
If what he says is true and there is an accident, he's got to be a charter
member of the casualties.
And for the floor show, we will have the joggers.
Real Las Vegas style.
And for the reservations, we'll have the computer on the desk. You know, the
toll -free number.
First class.
Toll -free number, my hotel.
Hey, Rick.
I thought we were going to meet alone. We don't need a stenographer here. No,
she's a registered nurse.
I'll pass.
No, it's okay. She doesn't speak a word of English. Besides, she's good cover,
don't you think?
Um, ooh.
Give me a hand here.
What? Give me a hand here.
Here we go.
See there?
Chivalry's not dead.
He's got a busted rib.
Don't you think he ought to be home in bed?
That sounds like very good, sound medical advice.
Of course, I might need a second opinion when Rosie's got a cousin. Yeah, well,
you know, Mom wanted me to tell you something.
Hey, we like your car.
Yeah.
Oh, well, gee, that's nice. But, you know, it's not that uncommon. There were
quite a lot of them made. That was a very popular year. They made a lot of
Maybe you can give us all a ride, huh?
Sure, I'd love to.
That's a great idea, but you know, it's going to be a little crowded.
Why don't we go in two cars?
Well,
that helps, but it's still going to be very crowded, and maybe what we could do
is just talk right here.
Get in the car.
Hey, you want to talk in the car? We'll talk in the car. That's all right. I
don't mind.
Well, now I know what they mean by Mexican standoff.
All right, now you put your knife down and you tell your friends to go home.
Luis Ramon, come in.
You're looking for Steve Gaines, aren't you?
We are?
He sent me to get both of you. He wants to talk to you.
He's waiting outside of town.
He wants to talk to us. He can talk to us in the hotel by himself.
All right.
Anyway, I talked with Margie on the phone, and she understands what
told her that you'd have Irene home tomorrow evening.
As far as your injury's concerned, that was a mistake.
Somebody out the side got the wrong idea about why you were here.
That's all.
So, anyway...
I'll bring Irene into town tomorrow morning so you get an early start. But
is one thing you could do for me if you would.
Drop this off in San Diego. The address is right there on it.
Along with this.
It'd be worth a little extra to me if you wouldn't mention it to anybody.
Why is that?
Well, it's pretty technical.
Actually, we're trying to reactivate a series of old played -out wells down
here, and I have a few questions I need answers for.
It's not that important.
What's wrong?
Nothing very much. We just got a very expensive piece of equipment over there.
Says you're lying, that's all.
Why would I lie to you?
You were hired to come down here and bring Irene back. I'm saying you can do
that.
Listen to me.
Your daughter scrolled a message on the bathroom door with a piece of crayon
that said help.
Someone tried to bust up my brother.
You're asking us to smuggle stuff out of the country for you. Now you're telling
me everything is fine and dandy?
Now you can tell me it's none of my business.
But you were in some kind of trouble, fella.
You're jumping to the wrong conclusions.
I want to trouble out guys with my ex -wife.
Now, look, I used to work as a mudlogger. I know a little bit about
that secondary recovery can get to be pretty dangerous.
It looks to me like you got a low -yield, high -pressure gas zone here.
Am I right?
Why don't you just level with us?
Maybe you better read the letter.
Are we sitting right on top of this thing?
Look.
Got it.
Irene, I want you to meet Uncle AJ.
It's Irene.
Hi, Irene. Nice to meet you. Now, I want you to have a good ride home, and don't
give him any trouble, okay?
When will I see you again?
Well, that's kind of hard to say, honey.
But you know, when you think about someone, it's the same as being with
And I want you to remember that I think about you all the time.
Me too.
Hey, uh... Excuse me, do you happen to have an extra map in there that I could
borrow? Why not?
Well, tell you what, let me check my directions with you. I go past the
here and go down to the end of the road, turn left, and take that out to the
highway.
That's it.
Okay, thank you very much. I appreciate it.
What kind of car you got?
57 Chevy convertible.
Well, I won't go unless we have the top down.
Well, that's the only way we fly, sweetheart.
Come on.
Be a good girl. Okay, Daddy. Take care. Yeah.
We're gonna come back there and make you.
He knows damn well if anything goes wrong, that rock will send us up for
I tried to reason with him.
I tried to protect his daughter for him. Now I've had it.
Want me to go get him? No.
I'm going to need him for the black thing.
I'll take care of him later.
He must have given that core sample to those detectives.
Get on the radio. Find out who we've got to intercept them. I don't care how
they do it. I want that rock back.
If it takes three bodies on the side of the road, I want the rock back.
Got it.
Sweetheart maybe later after we stop
Maybe
should be
more comfortable in the trunk
Ponce, if you go get the truck, bring it around back. I'll finish loading this.
How's Gaines doing?
What's taking him so long? He's loaded up and ready to go out to the rig.
Good.
Well, it won't be long now.
We're in good shape.
I got a hold of Knox up at number 14. He's going to have a little surprise
waiting on that Chevy.
Good.
for a while, I don't think I can take another hundred bottles of beer on the
wall.
Sit down.
I'm telling you, I don't trust him.
Steve, how long?
Yeah, just have to check the timers and detonators, that's all.
We don't have to trust him.
All we have to do is make sure he does his job.
Irene, Irene, darling, why don't you sit back and try and take a nap for a
little while, all right? Yeah, and eat your lunch. No.
Hey, come on. I went through all the trouble to buy that stuff for you. They
went through all the trouble to fix it. Now sit back there and eat it. Come on.
I don't want to.
Hey, look, if you don't eat it, I'm going to pull over here somewhere and
back there and make you eat it.
I'm not hungry.
Look, if she doesn't want to eat it, she doesn't have to. Just leave her alone,
all right? Hey, you keep out of this. I spent five bucks on that stuff. She's
going to eat it.
Sorry, she hasn't had anything since breakfast. So what? She's not going to
starve. Who are you, man? Dr. Spock? That kid's got to eat.
Look, why'd you let her order all the junk food then? What junk food? That's
nutritious. She's better off not eating it.
Pork is non -nutritious. Lettuce and tomatoes are not nutritious. I eat that
stuff all the time. Well, I rest my case right there.
Freeze -dried pizza and onion rings didn't go to the moon with the
Battle stations.
Oh, boy.
Uh, Irene?
We're going to play a little game.
What kind of a game?
Your Uncle Rick and I used to play it when we were kids. It's called Chicken.
Got a drunk driver?
Not a chance.
Why are we going back?
Well, we were going to meet your dad up ahead about 20 miles, but on second
thought, we decided to pick him up.
I knew he was too good
a powder man.
Have Dawson bring the chopper out here.
Base camp, come in.
Come in, base camp. Over.
There's the princess.
And look at the Lungarian guards.
Uh -huh. Didn't you guys have these when you were kids?
Sure, of course we did.
We had, uh, let's see. Well, we had a monster named Kluszewski.
And he had these giant killer arms.
And then there was a prince named Whitey Ford.
Yeah? Yeah.
Then there was this terrifying group of pirates from the planet Pittsburgh.
And they stole the sacred pennant.
And they wouldn't give it back. And I think you better hit the deck again,
sweetheart.
This isn't working.
If you got any better ideas, I want to hear them now.
I got
one. What?
Hundred bottles of beer on the wall, a hundred bottles of beer.
Take one down, pass it around, ninety -nine bottles of beer on the wall,
-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety -nine bottles of beer.
Take one down, pass it around, ninety -eight bottles of beer on the wall,
-eight bottles of beer on the wall, ninety -eight bottles of beer.
You take one down, pass it around, ninety -seven bottles of beer on the
ninety -seven bottles of beer on the wall, ninety -seven bottles of beer.
We'll take one down, pass it around.
96 bottles of beer on the wall. 96 bottles of beer on the wall. 96 bottles
beer. We'll take one down, pass it around.
Learn this. Years in the Orient or what?
No. Down at the Y.
Oh, that's good. That's nice.
Um,
I was, ooh, thinking a little bit later maybe we could slip into something more
comfortable.
Like the ocean.
You know me, Rick.
Whatever floats your boat. Oh, yeah.
Ooh. A little bit lower. On the right there. Yeah. Ooh. Ooh. That's perfect.
Oh.
Ooh.
Hi.
No.
Marlowe Repel Borders.
Now, I hate to interrupt, but remember, Rick, you did have a previous, uh,
engagement this evening. I'm sorry, Don. I warned him about overbooking.
Ah! No, Cheryl, look, you don't understand.
But look, what about tomorrow night?
Sorry.
Yes, you are.
Hurry up, Rick!
We've got to eat fast so we don't miss the movie.
Oh, movie two, huh?
Sure, it's a double feature. That's right.
Steve and Margie are going to be out late celebrating tonight.
They have a lot to talk about.
Janet, we owe you at least a dinner. So you pick the restaurant, okay?
Okay. Um, there's a great taco place that just opened near the war.
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