Original subtitles

As pro skaters on the Riot Skates team, Luther and I decided to put together a

little skate jam for the kids. Whole afternoon of skating to help out the

rugrats, the snot flingers, the slug eaters. Luke, you eat slugs. I can stop

anytime I want. Anyway, we made our own commercial and we put it up on the Riot

Skates website.

Hi, we're Zeke and Luther.

If you're between the ages of 6 and 12, we'd like to invite you to come on down

to our junior skate jam.

Hey, bro!

I think I see some kids over there. Look, it's sponsored skaters Zeke and

Luther.

When I turn this many, I want to be just like them. Well, now you can.

Here's a skate for you, little fellas.

See you at the jam.

Welcome to the Junior Skate Jam, everybody.

Look to the kid to your left. Now to the right.

One of you could very well be the next Tony Hawk.

Let's not fill their head with nonsense, okay? We both know there's only one

Tony Hawk. All right, settle down.

Hey,

little guy.

You here for the jam?

I don't think so. I was just walking along and this paper bag flew in my head

and I ended up here.

Okay. Why don't you grab a board and join the party?

Party? Oh, yeah. I'm down.

Thanks.

All righty. Before we get started, a couple common sense rules.

Always wear your pads.

And always wear your helmet.

Luke, you have anything to add?

Definitely don't get your head stuck in the fence.

Come on, bro. Give him a break. Hey, guys.

What was that last rule?

Something about a fence?

Wait, don't tell me. Dude, you won't believe what happened. No, maybe. Don't

forget that I'm a genius. Are you crazy? Someone should be listening to us.

Wait, don't tell me. Not again.

Would you just calm down? Is there a problem?

Let's get a pizza.

It's only Tuesday.

We'll get a pizza and hope that no one will hurt us. Calm down, because I'm a

genius. It's only Thursday.

And by tomorrow, we'll have everything just fine.

Dude, you are really hot.

I'm pretty good at getting stuck in things.

At the fair, I got my head stuck in a cow's mouth.

Okay, look, I'll go get a stick of butter and I'll squeeze you out. All

great day of skating, everybody.

You guys have fun?

Yeah. We forgot to get trophies, but...

We do have participation hams. Bring it in. Bring it in.

All right. There you go.

Don't eat it all at once.

There you go.

I'm just playing. All right, get out of here.

So the skate jam's kind of over.

Sorry you didn't get to actually skate.

But we do have a participation ham for you, Luth.

Oh, no, bro. We're all out of hams. Take the box home. No worries.

So what else is cracking?

I can hang out with you.

Yeah, you know, we kind of have to clean up around here, but you can skate

around a little bit if you want.

Okay, but I've never done it before.

You'll be fine.

Take it slow.

Just take it slow.

Be careful.

You got this, Pat.

Okay, that was weird. Yeah, people don't know how to kickflip the first time

they hop on a board.

It had to be beginner's luck.

Spatz, are you sure you've never been on a board before? Why? Did I do it wrong?

I was just doing what Larry was doing.

No, no, no, no. You did just fine.

Try that.

It's Luther, by the way.

He's been skating for years.

Okay. First let me empty my pants.

Hold this.

Good to go.

Okay, he got lucky twice.

He's got a 360 rodeo dog.

Let me see if I can beat it.

Luke, it took us two and a half years to master the 360 rodeo dog. You can't

expect him to do it on his first try.

Whoa! Holy crap, Cakes, the kid is unbelievable.

He picks up stuff faster than we can teach him. But with skills like that,

could be the next. All right, I'll say it. Tony Hawk!

He said it.

But it's true.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Yeah, what's damn.

Lou, no, no, no. I was thinking that we owe it to the sport to coach Spat. Oh,

or better yet, we could be his managers.

Bro, you're forgetting Tony Hawk makes like a billion to trillion dollars.

You're right.

If we were Spat's managers, for every buck he makes, we'd get a piece. It's

a billion to trillion pieces.

Now we do.

You know, if this kid's going to be a world -famous

skateboarder, he's going to have to learn to be on time.

I'm stuck. Help.

Alan. Kid gets stuck a lot.

We'll take it from here, Betty.

Guys, a little help here?

One, two, three.

So, Pat, here's the deal. We like you, and we think you're really cool.

We want to be your manager.

Sounds awesome.

What's a manager?

You'd be like your go -to guys.

Yeah, your bro -ha -has.

Basically, we'd help you achieve your dreams.

Achieve my dreams.

So what do you say?

This is the best news ever.

I'm in.

All right, we're just going to have you sign a little something. Make it

official.

Now, initial here.

Sign right there.

Spit on the X.

Lick on the dotted line.

Quick little ear print.

Here you go.

You know, Spax, I am seeing a long and successful future between the three of

us. Okay, now let's make it super official with a little hands in.

Spax. Yep.

So, we'll see you tomorrow at noon?

Great.

Trust me, this kid is going to change your life.

We're taking spats big time. I've made the calls, and every skate company

50 miles has come to see him.

Once I see him skate, I'm just going to sit back, relax, and let the cheddar

roll in.

Liz, it's not just about the cheddar.

It's also about helping the kid.

But also the cheddar.

Okay, bubs, you're all set.

You want me to recycle the box?

Oh, no, we just want the box. You can get rid of the fridge.

You bought the refrigerator just for the box? If there's a better way of getting

a big box, I'd love to hear it.

Be ready.

Hey!

Ooh, hey!

Sports codes, right?

Everybody's talking about this mysterious skater of yours, you know?

sweating bullets here.

So what?

How come you didn't let your man Eddie get first dibs, huh?

Eddie, you know that we love you, but this kid is going to be too big.

Everyone's going to want to sponsor him, and we have to be fair about it. Yeah,

but it's me, your man, Eddie Coletti.

You know my money is no good here.

All right, Tiger, why don't you turn around, okay?

Don't forget your checkbook.

It's like hugging a wet mop, I'm sure.

That's it.

Okay, gentlemen and lady, thank you so much for coming. Now I need you to take

your right hand and grab your belt, because what's under this box is going

knock your pants off.

Now, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to

the future of skateboarding, Spencer Spax!

of skateboarding, huh, Bus Waxers? I don't know what to say. I bought a sport

coat for the guys.

Oh, hold on.

The note.

Meet me at the pool, Bat.

What's Bat doing at a pool?

Yeah, we're trying to turn you into a pro skateboarder. I don't want to be a

skater. I want to be a pro diver.

I didn't swallow so much water this time. I'm getting better.

Spats, what do you mean you want to be a diver?

Not just any diver. A synchronized diver.

Like them.

You wanted to be a professional skateboarder. Nuh -uh. Nuh -uh.

Nuh -uh.

Nuh -uh.

You guys told me to follow my dream, and this is my dream.

Whoa! Do you have any idea how lame synchronized diving is?

Lute, double -click.

This makes no sense at all.

If he wanted to be a diver, why didn't he just say so? Did we miss some signs?

Spats totally jacked that 540.

Hey, guys.

Want to go down to the pool and watch the divers? It's 540. You should have

his double fakie.

Ah, no signs.

Booth, we can't just let spats walk away from the greatest sport on earth.

I got an idea.

Reason number nine why skating is cooler than diving.

You don't get your shirt wet.

Reason number 22 to quit diving.

Pruney pool fingers.

Skaters have cooler hats.

Work! Sweet.

No pink goggles.

Flippers are lame.

Bingo. Reason number 67.

You won't have to swim with sharks.

Finally, number 241. You could be the next Tony Hawk.

I'd rather be the next Otto Van Munchen.

You know, from the Van Munchen diving twins?

Those uber -goobers?

World champion uber -goobers.

Spats, here's the deal.

We're skaters.

So if diving really is your thing, then I guess we're not the right guys to

manage you.

Sorry, but I guess this is goodbye forever.

Actually, you should probably go with my room.

Certified letter.

That's weird.

I love fancy mail. What did we win?

Look, we didn't win anything.

You had this showing us.

Bat, what's going on? Huh? You're really suing us? Right.

I'm Elliot Clifton, kid lawyer. I'll be speaking on behalf of my client.

Exhibit A. The contract you made my client sign, spit on, and lick obligates

to, and I quote, help him achieve his dreams.

His skateboarding dreams.

Where's my kitty?

I'm sorry, but you failed to mention anything here about skateboarding.

So we have to help him become a synchronized diver?

Or you go to jail.

Whoa!

All right, guys, let's rock the pool.

Well, thanks for taking me to class.

Ooh, there's Kimmy. She's the best diver.

Up top, Kimbo.

She's my partner for the showcase on Saturday.

Cool. Clarification, he's only my partner because my sister is stage four

eye. Stage five is when things get really gnarly.

All right, divers.

Let's start with some simple forward flips.

All right?

Oh, and Spatz, try to keep your head out of the pool drain.

Lesson learned.

Top of the bleachers.

Bro, how long is this practice going to last?

Three hours.

In a row?

Spaz gave up skating for that.

Has it been three hours yet? It's been 14 seconds.

Look, I can't take it anymore, okay? There's some tasty steps out front.

go shred them, all right? This little belly flopper won't even know we're

Yeah?

Excuse me. Oh, hey, Ben.

You looked great out there. How would you know? You ditched me.

The splash?

The water?

Oh, such good water, dude.

Save it, and you can forget the stupid contract.

I don't need your help. Listen, Spaz, good news for me. I just found out my

sister's pink eye cleared up, so I'm not stuck with you anymore.

Spaz, this is great news, right? Now I can go back to skateboarding, where you

belong.

Suddenly, it hit me.

There we were trying to force Spaz to do something that he clearly didn't want

to do.

The same thing happened to me and Luke.

Our parents forced us to play the bagpipes.

But it wasn't our thing. Our dream was to skate. And you know what? Spatz's

dream is to be a synchronized diver.

Kimmy, for your information, Spatz doesn't need you for the showcase.

He's got a new partner.

In fact, he's got two of them.

Who? Yeah, who?

Us.

You bozos?

Yeah, us bozos.

And we're going to kick your synchronized butt in there.

I'd like to see you try.

Wait, we're going to jump off the high. Yep. Is it going to hurt? Yep.

We didn't know squat about diving, but we knew if we had any chance of beating

Kimmy and her one -eyed sister, that we had to be in sync.

For the next three days, we did everything in unison.

Everything.

surprise you guys even showed up we're gonna roll this pool you don't stand a

chance it's gonna be a slaughter in the water save it for the pool

thank you friends and family for attending the spring diving soaking

i'd like to introduce our first divers benji pop and ravi miller with front

forward pipe

Sister Dean, Kimmy, and Minnie Raker. They'll be doing reverse caliendo.

Oh, a little Latin science.

Ay caramba!

Next up, Team Bro Ha Ha with a dive they call Who Dropped That Banana

Peel?

spring showcase but my oh my the crowd seems to love it a one and a half tough

kick out sounds like a soccer move

The bomb.

And for their final dive, Kimmy and Minnie will be showing us the very

one and a half somersault with a one and a half twist.

Didn't know there'd be so much math.

Oh, the majesty.

That was stunning.

No way we can beat that. We're toast.

Okay, we'd be shredding it up if this was a skate competition.

Luce was right.

If this was skateboarding, we'd be crushing everybody, which is why we had

back to what we knew best.

I've just been informed there's a last -minute change in the program.

Let's see. The Ro -Ha -Ha's final dive will be a 360 rodeo dog on their

skateboard? Woo!

I'd like to see that.

You ready, bro?

In that moment, a brand -new sport was created.

Synchronized skate diving.

Unfortunately, the sport was banned before we even got out of the pool.

Officials considered it too dangerous.

And too stupid.

But we did get the audience participation cup.

Oh, that trophy's huge!

You're an ant.

Here you go, little man.

First of many. Alright, why does he get the trophy?

Because it's little doesn't mean I don't want it.

Here you go, little buddy.

Thanks, guys.

You've been really cool managers.

But, you know, I think I've got it from here. Yeah, we're definitely not going

to need this anymore.

See you at the pool.

You know, Luke, it's come a long way because of us.

I don't think I've ever been prouder.

Hey, guy, my finger's stuck.

I really wish we hadn't ripped up the contract.

In the past few months, Spats went on to become the richest and most famous

diver in history.

The kid's face is on everything.

And we didn't make one cent.

Oh, boy.

I already got this one.