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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,110 --> 00:00:55,430 son. Which one of you guys are really my dad? 2 00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:56,790 I am. 3 00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:03,690 There's something fishy about this, and I want the lowdown. 4 00:01:03,890 --> 00:01:07,270 Now come clean. Where did I come from? 5 00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:10,570 Well, you see, son, it was like this. It happened several years ago. 6 00:01:10,890 --> 00:01:14,170 You were a neency, peency, teensy, weensy, schmeensy, uh... 7 00:01:21,450 --> 00:01:24,210 What's the idea? I was just about to play coming through the corn. 8 00:01:24,430 --> 00:01:27,410 You mean rye. The way I play it, it's corn. 9 00:01:27,650 --> 00:01:30,110 Break it up. How much money did you loan on this junk? 10 00:01:30,310 --> 00:01:32,490 Cheap, $50. That's a genuine stratosphere. 11 00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:34,250 Stratosphere? Yeah. 12 00:01:34,410 --> 00:01:35,410 Play some air. 13 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:53,639 Isn't that beautiful? 14 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,380 That's the old oaken bucket I'm playing. 15 00:01:55,660 --> 00:01:57,640 Hmm. Sounds like it. Yeah. 16 00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:03,240 Where'd the water come from? From the old oaken bucket. 17 00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:10,840 And you, maestro, you get over there and play that bull fiddle. And no old oaken 18 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,520 bucket. Why, certainly, certainly. 19 00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:15,220 You ain't heard nothing yet. 20 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,640 That's funny. I ain't heard nothing yet either. 21 00:02:24,850 --> 00:02:25,850 Yeah. 22 00:02:27,650 --> 00:02:29,230 Another stratosphere you bought. 23 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,630 That's a fine way to throw our money away. 24 00:02:31,990 --> 00:02:35,590 Don't you look at merchandise before you hand it out? You nitwit, I'll bash your 25 00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:36,590 brains out. 26 00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:40,830 I'm sorry, sir. These two bullies were attacking me with poison gas. 27 00:02:41,090 --> 00:02:45,450 Say, that's the guy that sold me this fake wool fiddle. You're dreaming, bub. 28 00:02:45,590 --> 00:02:48,910 I'm Butch McGee, president of the Gas House Protective Association. 29 00:02:49,450 --> 00:02:53,230 You're new around here, ain't you? Yeah, we just inherited this place from our 30 00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:54,049 Uncle Tom. 31 00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:58,110 Good. That'll be 25 berries a week or... Or what? 32 00:02:58,410 --> 00:02:59,810 Pineapples with TNT. 33 00:03:02,970 --> 00:03:07,850 Millions for defense, but not one cent for tribute. And we're pretty tough 34 00:03:07,850 --> 00:03:12,530 ourselves. Watch this, shorty. They call me Mickey Moe, the murdering masseur. 35 00:03:12,730 --> 00:03:14,030 I'll show you some mayhem. 36 00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:28,190 Good work, Ma. 37 00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:29,870 Boy, he's tough. 38 00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:33,330 Ah, that's baby stuff. Let me show you the real McCoy. 39 00:03:36,190 --> 00:03:42,870 I was just 40 00:03:42,870 --> 00:03:44,950 toying. You better come across with the dough. 41 00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:46,250 No, I'm mad. 42 00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:47,510 So what? 43 00:03:47,750 --> 00:03:48,950 So I ain't that mad. 44 00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:52,410 You wait here. I'll really get mad. 45 00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:57,060 Watch me. 46 00:04:27,950 --> 00:04:29,390 us, will you? Well, we'll show you. 47 00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:31,090 You're in the wrong alley here. 48 00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:32,290 Up he goes. 49 00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:34,810 There's your old hat. It don't fit me anyway. 50 00:04:35,130 --> 00:04:36,430 Yeah. Open your mouth. 51 00:04:36,670 --> 00:04:38,690 There you are. Nice little baby now, huh? 52 00:04:38,950 --> 00:04:39,970 Real tough boy. 53 00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:42,750 You're not so tough, little baby. 54 00:04:43,410 --> 00:04:44,770 Here's your 25 berries. 55 00:04:49,710 --> 00:04:50,710 Hey, Butch. 56 00:04:51,570 --> 00:04:54,930 What are you doing here? The cops are on our trail, Butch. Yeah? 57 00:04:55,610 --> 00:04:56,810 Say, what's the idea of the kid? 58 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,620 That's my sister's kid. I figured the cops would never look for Molly, the 59 00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:02,340 glamour girl with a baby in her arms. 60 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,000 It worked. 61 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:05,159 Smart gal. 62 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,540 But we can't take it on the lam looking a baby around. 63 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,280 You better return it to your sister. I don't dare go back. 64 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,560 The cops are watching the house. They nab a sure. 65 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:13,880 Yeah, that's right. 66 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:18,300 I got it. Take the kid over to that hock shop and leave it with them saps. 67 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,640 Your sister can pick it up later. We'll mail her the pawn ticket. 68 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:22,920 Swell idea. 69 00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:25,100 As long as I'm there, I might as well. 70 00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:26,830 Hock, my diamond ring. 71 00:05:28,010 --> 00:05:30,550 Yeah, them lunkheads are liable to fall for that hunk of glass. 72 00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:32,650 I'll meet you at Joe's. 73 00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:34,150 Hurry up, baby. 74 00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:41,470 Hey, Larry, come here. 75 00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:43,090 I can't. I'm busy. 76 00:05:43,490 --> 00:05:45,230 Well, drop what you're doing and come here. 77 00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:48,470 Okay, if you say so. 78 00:05:51,910 --> 00:05:53,490 Yeah? What's the big idea? 79 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,320 You told me to drop what I was doing, so I did. 80 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:57,560 Why, you. 81 00:05:58,600 --> 00:05:59,720 Beat me to it that time. 82 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:01,960 Get out. 83 00:06:02,340 --> 00:06:03,580 Curly and I are going to lunch. 84 00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:05,760 Don't lend any money on anything till we get back. 85 00:06:06,060 --> 00:06:07,420 Here, hang up this tuba. 86 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:08,920 Come on, Curly. 87 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,800 How do you do, madam? What can I do for you? 88 00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:27,340 Oh, an offspring. 89 00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:37,660 That's sweet. 90 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:57,960 What's the trouble, lady? 91 00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:03,080 He left me. My no -good husband left me. Me and little Egbert without a home, 92 00:07:03,180 --> 00:07:04,059 without a sin. 93 00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:07,300 All I have in the world is a 20 -carat diamond ring. 94 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,680 Could you let me have a hundred on it? 95 00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:15,920 Even his ring was a fake. 96 00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:17,140 Stop phoning. 97 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:18,640 What's the matter? 98 00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:20,900 Please give me a drink. Sure. 99 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,610 Shouldn't be a total loss. I'll drink it myself. 100 00:07:55,410 --> 00:07:56,410 Tastes terrible. 101 00:07:57,170 --> 00:07:58,350 I'll kill it with a cigarette. 102 00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,030 Oh, gosh. 103 00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:10,170 Firewater. Well, what do you know? 104 00:08:12,490 --> 00:08:13,830 Oh, you sweet you. 105 00:08:17,050 --> 00:08:20,030 I give to give to give. I give to give to you. 106 00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:29,370 Oh, you cute thing. Let me tell you a bedtime story. 107 00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:33,850 Let me see. Once upon a time, there were three bears. 108 00:08:34,150 --> 00:08:38,169 Max Bear, Bunny Bear, and Bugs Bear. Now bear in mind. 109 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:43,580 These bears were never bare because they ran around in their baskets, but with 110 00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:44,580 their bare feet. 111 00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:50,700 So the three little bears went skipping and frolicking, hither, tither, and 112 00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:53,000 yither, without their mither and fither. 113 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:55,800 Skip, skip, skip, skip. 114 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,040 Pardon me, gentlemen. 115 00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:01,260 How'd that baby get here? 116 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:02,520 Business as usual. 117 00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:07,040 What? I mean, the kid walked in and asked for a match. I said, I don't 118 00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:09,010 Look, it's cute. 119 00:09:10,030 --> 00:09:14,190 What's the matter with you? How dare you strike a mother with an infant in his 120 00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:17,290 arms? Where is that kid's mother? The bag left me holding the babe. 121 00:09:18,310 --> 00:09:19,310 What are we going to do with it? 122 00:09:19,630 --> 00:09:22,750 Keep it for 30 days. If nobody calls for it, it's yours. 123 00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:26,330 Get the kid a bottle. 124 00:09:26,570 --> 00:09:27,329 A bottle? 125 00:09:27,330 --> 00:09:30,250 Oh, a bottle, yeah. Excuse me. Hurry up, we'll take care of it till you get 126 00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:32,110 back. What do you do in case it cries? 127 00:09:32,550 --> 00:09:34,970 We'll just change its position from one side to the other. 128 00:09:36,050 --> 00:09:37,090 You would think of that. 129 00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:45,580 Don't cry, baby. Don't cry. Look at him. Funny face. 130 00:09:45,860 --> 00:09:46,860 Funny face. 131 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,780 Make funny ones. Don't scare him. Funny. 132 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,080 Like this. Look. 133 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,440 Look, 134 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,100 baby. Don't cry. We're going to make funny faces. Look. 135 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,380 Here's your bottle. Oh, swell. Got an opener? 136 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:18,680 There ain't one around the place. 137 00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:20,020 Well. 138 00:10:22,460 --> 00:10:23,460 Close your eyes. 139 00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:24,900 Open your mouth. 140 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:26,520 Depress your lower jaw. 141 00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:34,600 Wait a minute. You can't give a baby beer. 142 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:36,920 But I can give the bottle when I'm through drinking it. 143 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:38,280 Yeah, the beer's mine. 144 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,680 I want half. 145 00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:42,540 Give it to me. Give it to me. I want it. Give it to me. 146 00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:44,800 Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. 147 00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:46,060 Please, please. 148 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,420 Give it to me or I'll tear your tonsils out. 149 00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:55,260 You got it. 150 00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:56,380 Yeah, so I did. 151 00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:57,640 And you're going to get it. 152 00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,440 Get out. 153 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:01,880 Why, 154 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,080 you nitwit. 155 00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:04,500 And you. 156 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,339 That kid crying. 157 00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:19,860 What are we going to do with it? I can't stand it. It'll drive me nuts. I got 158 00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:24,340 it. Lock the baby in the safe and you won't hear it. Good, but... Hey, 159 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,820 fellas. Look, I gave it a pacifier. 160 00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:36,020 Two -ounce brain. 161 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:37,980 Look out. 162 00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:39,440 The kid may pull a trigger. 163 00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:42,700 Don't be silly. I wouldn't give a loaded gun to a kid. 164 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,320 Did you examine it? Sure. 165 00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,100 See? 166 00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:49,790 What's the matter with you? That's liable to go off. But it ain't loaded. 167 00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:50,790 show you. 168 00:12:17,260 --> 00:12:18,740 Go on, wash your ears. Go on, get washed up. 169 00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:22,800 That crying again. I can't take it. 170 00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:16,130 Quiet, little angel. Quiet, angel. 171 00:13:16,410 --> 00:13:17,450 I'll break your neck. 172 00:13:17,910 --> 00:13:19,410 Hey, Curly, hurry up, will you? 173 00:13:20,570 --> 00:13:22,310 I'm coming in just a minute. 174 00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:36,870 Curly? 175 00:13:37,590 --> 00:13:38,549 What's that? 176 00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:39,610 The baby's bottle. 177 00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,810 Now you've got a sliver of a brain. 178 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,100 Right in the little mouth. There you are. 179 00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:06,720 Look at the little sucker. Now he's happy. 180 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:11,360 And you, you had to make nursemaids out of us. If that kid's mother don't get 181 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,080 back soon, I'm going to turn it over to the police. 182 00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:20,140 Oh, you thought you got rid of me, eh, wise guys? 183 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,180 Okay, boys, give him the works. 184 00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:23,940 Come here, you. You're just my size. 185 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,600 You see, the police came and took them away, but nobody ever... 12982