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1
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happened, Tisca? Listen to this.
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Tisca, Taska, and Vasca Jones, our
triple wedding must be postponed
3
00:00:31,210 --> 00:00:33,490
indefinitely. Not returning to port
today.
4
00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:37,550
Having ordered to Honolulu. See you in a
few months. Love, Tom, Dick, and Harry.
5
00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:41,170
If we're not married by midnight
tonight, we can kiss a $10 million
6
00:00:41,170 --> 00:00:42,390
goodbye. We're sunk.
7
00:00:42,990 --> 00:00:43,990
Oh, no, you're not.
8
00:00:44,230 --> 00:00:45,590
Smart lawyers never sunk.
9
00:00:45,850 --> 00:00:49,130
I read about the fleet going to
Honolulu, so I figured out a little plan
10
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:50,130
your inheritance.
11
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,250
Well, let's have it.
12
00:00:51,270 --> 00:00:54,950
Simple. Today, you marry three convicts.
Tomorrow, they hang.
13
00:00:55,530 --> 00:00:59,510
You get your ten million, minus my fee,
of course, and you're free to marry your
14
00:00:59,510 --> 00:01:00,650
boyfriends. Nice, huh?
15
00:01:01,050 --> 00:01:03,170
But what about the convicts? Yeah, how
about that?
16
00:01:03,790 --> 00:01:04,789
There they are.
17
00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:12,890
They can't hang us. We're innocent.
18
00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:15,250
We're innocent, I tell you. You're
telling me.
19
00:01:15,490 --> 00:01:16,910
Well, they're going to hang us. Oh, no.
20
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No. I'm too young to die.
21
00:01:19,730 --> 00:01:21,190
I'm too young and too handsome.
22
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Well, I'm too young.
23
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that. Oh, thank you.
24
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:29,960
Listen,
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you, we've got 24 hours to live.
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00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,020
Think, think, think.
27
00:01:39,660 --> 00:01:46,520
I got it. What? A terrific
28
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:47,520
headache.
29
00:01:52,060 --> 00:01:53,260
Come on.
30
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,200
Listen, we got to get out of here. If we
only had a saw.
31
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,140
Hey. What about these?
32
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,280
Well, where'd you get these?
33
00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,220
I say, in bottle tops.
34
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:04,720
Is this a musical saw?
35
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,680
Certainly. It plays, I hear, a rhapsody.
36
00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:11,840
That was a rhapsody in the kisser. Come
on, get on those bars, quick.
37
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,380
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
38
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:22,080
That a guy that can saw, see?
39
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,400
Saw?
40
00:03:05,290 --> 00:03:07,390
This is Tisker, Tasker, and Basker
Jones.
41
00:03:07,610 --> 00:03:08,610
How do you do?
42
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Will you marry us? Will we? Oh, boy.
Start the ceremony.
43
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I now pronounce you man and wife. Oh,
boy. We're married.
44
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Brother -in -law.
45
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Hey, wait.
46
00:03:25,410 --> 00:03:27,590
How do you like that? No wedding gift.
47
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,910
Happy honeymoon, gentlemen.
48
00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:37,100
Well, I'll be hanged. You will.
49
00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:39,320
You had to bring that up.
50
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:41,360
Stop it.
51
00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:51,860
Howdy, folks, howdy. This is your old
friend Bill Stein bringing you a jerk
52
00:03:51,860 --> 00:03:54,500
-jerk description of the triple hanging
of the mushroom murder mob.
53
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,200
This broadcast is coming to you from
Hang them all prison.
54
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We're right at that gallows side, and
it's a beautiful day for a hanging.
55
00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:06,070
Peanuts, popcorn, sody pop, chewing gum,
candy. Get your programs, gents, all
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00:04:06,070 --> 00:04:07,070
the names and numbers.
57
00:04:07,190 --> 00:04:09,630
You can't tell the victims apart without
a program.
58
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:10,950
Program?
59
00:04:11,130 --> 00:04:12,130
Program!
60
00:04:13,930 --> 00:04:14,930
Program!
61
00:04:17,649 --> 00:04:18,649
Hey,
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00:04:19,570 --> 00:04:22,390
hey, hey. You better watch that call.
First thing you know, you'll wind up
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00:04:22,390 --> 00:04:23,390
pneumonia.
64
00:04:23,810 --> 00:04:25,990
They say strawberries is good for a
cold.
65
00:04:26,290 --> 00:04:28,170
Strawberries won't be in season for six
months.
66
00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:30,360
We'll wait. Just a minute.
67
00:04:30,620 --> 00:04:31,620
Line up there, boys.
68
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,840
This broadcast comes to you through the
courtesy of EDAM Neckties, with stores
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00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:40,660
at three convenient locations, Skagway,
Alaska, Little America, and Pago Pago.
70
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:06,579
Pardon you.
71
00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:09,420
Mickey Finn and his gang have been
captured, and they've confessed to the
72
00:05:09,420 --> 00:05:11,220
mushroom murder. You're free, boys.
73
00:05:11,540 --> 00:05:12,159
We're free!
74
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,160
We're free!
75
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,920
Here, why, say a few words, will you?
76
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,160
I am the shadow.
77
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Get out of jail.
78
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:45,500
We were innocent.
79
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:46,820
The real murderers confessed.
80
00:05:47,340 --> 00:05:50,380
The governor pardoned us. So here we
are. And until death do us part.
81
00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:52,700
Until death do us part, eh?
82
00:05:52,940 --> 00:05:55,140
Certainly. Oh, boy, what a joint.
83
00:05:57,780 --> 00:05:58,780
Okay, then.
84
00:05:58,800 --> 00:05:59,800
Give us a kiss.
85
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,800
Oh, honey. Close your eyes.
86
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,640
That's just to let you know who's going
to be boss around here.
87
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,820
Oh, well, if that's how it is.
88
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,900
Why, that's how it is. Shake.
89
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,000
That's just to let you know who's going
to be boss around here.
90
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,040
We've got to get rid of them.
91
00:06:22,580 --> 00:06:24,060
We've got to get rid of them.
92
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:25,900
We'll get rid of them.
93
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,540
All we do is insist they become society
gentlemen.
94
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,760
We'll make them take dancing lessons,
fencing, baths.
95
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:36,220
Boy, this ought to take off the pimples
and blemishes.
96
00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:40,740
Yeah, maybe the skin, too. Who cares?
I'll be a skinless Frankfurter. Oh, I
97
00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:05,390
Smell good on the inside, too.
98
00:07:05,870 --> 00:07:06,870
It's you, the blonde.
99
00:07:17,130 --> 00:07:22,550
Hey, listen.
100
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,930
Now, we're in society. We've got to act
like society.
101
00:07:26,310 --> 00:07:27,970
I refuse to act that dopey.
102
00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:30,510
Say, what do we know about society?
103
00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:32,270
Well, starting tomorrow, we're going to
learn.
104
00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:36,110
We've got to act like gentlemen so these
dames we married won't have any excuse
105
00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:38,850
for throwing us out. You mean to say I
can't go to sleep with my shoes on?
106
00:07:38,990 --> 00:07:41,030
That's exactly what I mean. Now get to
bed.
107
00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:42,410
Like a gentleman.
108
00:07:59,820 --> 00:08:01,280
No use. I can't sleep in this bed.
109
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,640
Me either. It's too comfortable.
110
00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:04,460
For once, I agree with you guys.
111
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:06,840
We've got to fix these beds so we can
feel at home.
112
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,840
Oh, boy, just like jail.
113
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,920
Yes, sir, all the comforts of home.
114
00:08:20,140 --> 00:08:21,140
Grab a bunk, boys.
115
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:26,560
Hey,
116
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,600
how do you expect me to get up there?
117
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:30,640
for yourself.
118
00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:49,750
Oh, you did, eh?
119
00:09:49,970 --> 00:09:53,250
You fall down. Can I reach him?
120
00:09:54,190 --> 00:09:55,190
That's it.
121
00:09:55,350 --> 00:09:56,350
Put me on top.
122
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:39,760
down. Okay.
123
00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:40,820
Hey, fellas.
124
00:10:40,980 --> 00:10:41,980
Hey. Hey.
125
00:10:42,340 --> 00:10:46,260
Hey. I didn't do it, Warden. Never mind.
Listen. Our dancing teacher's waiting.
126
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,020
Dancing? Oh, boy.
127
00:10:48,420 --> 00:10:50,080
I gotta have my breakfast first.
128
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,460
We don't eat till after we've taken our
dancing lesson. I quit.
129
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:55,100
You can't quit. That's what they want us
to do.
130
00:10:55,340 --> 00:10:56,340
Get up.
131
00:10:57,060 --> 00:10:58,620
Get up.
132
00:11:03,180 --> 00:11:06,680
Now, in order to become good dancers,
you must follow me closely and do
133
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:07,860
as I do. Do you understand?
134
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,640
Okay. Here's a dance that's most popular
in society.
135
00:11:10,980 --> 00:11:12,200
You'll never go amiss doing this.
136
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,980
Now follow me closely and do exactly
what I do.
137
00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:17,380
Ready?
138
00:12:01,230 --> 00:12:04,330
You got us to marry those Frankensteins.
Now get us a divorce. Well, you have to
139
00:12:04,330 --> 00:12:05,390
have grounds for a divorce.
140
00:12:05,730 --> 00:12:09,010
Well, we made them take dancing lessons
and wear fancy clothes and even take
141
00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:11,390
baths ten times a day. But still they
don't complain.
142
00:12:11,710 --> 00:12:12,710
I've got it.
143
00:12:12,750 --> 00:12:14,050
You've got to give a big party.
144
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:17,650
They're bound to humiliate you. And all
your society friends can testify for
145
00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:18,730
you. Divorce will be a cinch.
146
00:12:24,670 --> 00:12:26,730
I haven't looked this pretty since I was
a baby.
147
00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:29,390
Come on, let's check in. They're
waiting.
148
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,820
Watch your P's and Q's. Come on. Don't
worry.
149
00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:40,140
Well,
150
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,060
my scheme is working.
151
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:52,180
Mm -hmm.
152
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,360
Oh, Williams. Yes, sir.
153
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,840
Williams, when you bring that big cake
in...
154
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:10,740
You going to eat that chicken alone?
155
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:13,700
No. Maybe if I wait, I'll get some
potatoes.
156
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,160
What kind?
157
00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:16,520
Mashed. You got them.
158
00:13:19,940 --> 00:13:22,780
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
Playing poker? Quit stacking the deck.
159
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,320
Quiet.
160
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:25,960
Hello, boys.
161
00:13:25,980 --> 00:13:26,980
Wouldn't you like some punch?
162
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,240
Certainly. Let's see what the boys in
the back room will have.
163
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:36,920
Pass me the... I heard you traveled a
lot. Are you familiar with the Great
164
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:37,869
of China?
165
00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:39,310
No, but I know a big fence in Chicago.
166
00:13:42,810 --> 00:13:45,170
Wouldn't you boys like a sit over there?
It's much more comfortable.
167
00:13:45,590 --> 00:13:46,590
A .G. Hospital.
168
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,730
That's where I'll put you if you don't
be quiet. Go on.
169
00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:52,470
I say, Jasper, how's your tape going?
Oh, fine. They took the blue ribbon at
170
00:13:52,470 --> 00:13:54,350
Madison Square Garden last week. Fancy
that.
171
00:13:54,590 --> 00:13:55,590
You fancy that.
172
00:13:58,150 --> 00:14:01,690
In former years, we traveled incognito.
Then by freight.
173
00:14:02,230 --> 00:14:03,410
Now we just stomach.
174
00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:06,390
But of all the rides I've taken, I like
best...
175
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:14,820
Lusio, you tripped him. He certainly did
not. The butler did it deliberately. I
176
00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:15,820
did not, sir.
177
00:14:18,740 --> 00:14:19,240
He
178
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:26,340
did
179
00:14:26,340 --> 00:14:30,440
it. Thank you.
180
00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:33,580
But you started it.
181
00:14:41,290 --> 00:14:44,210
As a rule, parties bore me, but I know
I'm going to get a big bang out of this
182
00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:45,210
one.
183
00:15:49,930 --> 00:15:55,150
So I turned to my right, and there,
coming toward me, was a... Another lion.
184
00:15:55,390 --> 00:15:59,910
But did it scare me? Not a bit. Oh,
don't shout like I am. And I turned to
185
00:15:59,910 --> 00:16:00,910
face to face.
186
00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:03,030
Another lion.
187
00:16:03,290 --> 00:16:07,250
Just at that moment, that very moment, I
heard a roar to my left. The lion that
188
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:09,690
I thought that I'd killed was only
wounded.
189
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,450
But you understand exactly what I'm
talking about.
190
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,600
to such a life.
13457
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