Original subtitles

Hey, Joe.

Oh, hello, Mike.

Is the ammunition all right? Yeah, it's safely stored in the hills.

Are you ready to lead us against President Roby?

Sure. I can close up the hotel any time now.

The only guests left are three American salesmen.

I'm going to ask them to pay up and get out.

Hey, here's a couple of live wire prospects.

This one won't be interested. I think he's dead.

Get these things unpacked.

Now, if you guys unpack them, I'll put the high pressure on them.

Pardon me, stranger, but we represent the King Winter Outfitting Company of

Ticonderoga, New York.

Manufacturers of imported wearing apparel.

And just to prove our clothes are fresh, you can still smell the ocean.

Believe it or not.

What do you mean, believe it or not? I got an idea.

Well, it better be a good one.

Now, pal, we got a lot of stuff here that nobody's seen yet.

Now, here's something very chic in a kimono.

Now, here's a little article you can't do without in this part of the country.

What is that?

Watch.

So what? My latest invention.

The shock absorber for earthquakes.

And the trade -in value on this is twice as much as... Listen, that guy ain't

gonna buy anything. What are we gonna do?

If the boss don't send us some dough, we'll be stranded.

What's that?

I, uh, I was just telling my pal here this is lovely country and I'm glad we

landed. How are you, Mr. Singapore?

Look, the cold weather's setting in and I've decided to close the hotel for the

winter. Your bill.

glass beer.

Not me. I had that one with all the foam.

Well, I had this one. I had that one.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hey, will you please pay that bill and get out?

Well, I'll tell you.

You see, we were expecting a cablegram from the front office.

Oh, I forgot.

Your message came this morning. Oh, thanks.

I'm waiting for it.

Well, they sent you the money, eh?

Well, not exactly. You see, this wire's a little, uh... Hey, what was that?

What's that?

They're executing some guy that didn't pay his debts. It's the law in this

country. Well, he deserves it.

Now, that last round reminded me I've got some money in the top drawer of my

dresser. What do you say we go get it?

All of us. Okay.

The door's in the top drawer of the dresser in the jewel box under the

handkerchief. You wait here. I'll get it. I'll help him. I'll help him.

Oh, no, you don't.

You wait here.

I'll go in and get it. What kind of a fool do you take me for? What, is there

more than one kind?

license? Peddler's license? Certainly not. We're salesmen, super salesmen. Oh,

salesmen, eh?

How do I know you're not spies?

Spies?

Excuse me, General.

Hey, wait a minute. Don't you harm a feather in his bed. I mean head.

We're not spies. Don't be silly. We're selling earthquake shock absorbers and

doing rather well, too.

Look.

You'll have to come along with me for questioning the general casino.

But we don't play casino. How about Little Rummy?

Spies, huh?

Oh, no.

But,

General, the fat one does not look like a spy.

He looks very innocent.

Oh, I don't know. I've been around.

Do you really think they're innocent?

Oh, I am sure, my General.

Well, you may go free, gentlemen.

Oh, thank you, General. Hey, I told you it'd bring us luck.

Why the... Don't you search, you general!

Wait!

That's a good idea. Search him!

Don't forget, anything you find is 50 -50.

There's a message, General.

No passage money until you get rid of present wardrobe.

Ruby, eh?

So then you are spies.

Throw them in the dungeon and shoot them a sunrise.

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wait a

minute.

We're going to be shot at sunrise, and I want to make sure we don't oversleep.

It's working now, all right.

Hey, it's Rita.

Oh, boy, Rita.

I have brought you something good to eat.

Oh, food.

What is it, Rita? Pie. Oh, pie.

My favorite.

Bread. Bread.

Chicken. Oh, stuffed chicken.

And soup.

Oh, sweetheart, you're wonderful.

Oh, boy, soup.

Soup, we ain't got time for that. We want to get to the solid food.

Let's give it to the guy. He's a nice guy.

That's a good idea.

You've almost got a brain.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, you like soup?

No, no, I don't like soap.

I didn't say soap, you lug. Soup, soup.

Soup. Oh, sure.

Well, take it.

Thank you. Take it, Ramos.

Let me have that food.

help you to escape. Meet me behind the jail. I have work for you to do.

Rita, come on, bring the saws. Come on.

Quiet. You want the guard to hear you?

Listen.

That gives me an idea.

Give me a blade.

Ready?

Some shake. The biggest one yet.

Hey, do you fellas feel a draft?

Why, certainly. It's from that hole in the wall over there.

Oh. Come on. Get busy.

Boys.

Come on.

Be right with you, toots. We'll be finished in a minute. Don't go away.

Come on, you dummy.

in the desk.

What's your idea?

I just can't stand to have anybody look over my shoulder.

Oh. Look.

Is this it?

Ah, yes.

This is the map of President Robby's palace.

You must take this to our leader and he will see that you are rewarded.

Good, now we can get the money and go home.

I ain't so sure I want to go home now.

Quiet,

you dumbbell.

Where does your leader live?

His camp is in the hills.

What are we waiting for? Come on.

Hurry, boys.

Hurry now.

Hurry.

He's a car. Get in.

With any luck, we ought to be there in an hour.

The sun will be up in a few minutes and we can get our bearing.

Gee, the sun rises quick in this part of the country.

Say, seems like we passed this spot some time ago.

Yeah, I can tell by the windows in the building.

Of course, we can use him. Come on. I knew this car ran kind of smooth.

Chief, quick. We've got a message from Senorita Rita.

And that ain't double talk either.

Right. Right.

I can't understand the delay.

We can't attack without that map.

Message is from Rita. Well, bring him in. All right. Come on.

Now, my friend, we'll have some action.

You!

Take him out and have him shot.

Oh, wait a minute, Joe.

We got a message here from Rita.

Ah, the map. Well, that's different.

Come, my friends, eat, drink, and be merry.

Where's Mary?

Sit down.

At last, success is ours.

Have him shot.

Oh, no, please. Wait.

The boys made a mistake. I have the real map.

Rita, that's fine.

It's a good thing I found the right map.

Won't you sit down and pick a bone with us?

Say,

what's the idea? I bet he wouldn't do that. Would you? Sure. Oh, he did.

But you guys die at sunrise.

Oh, but you cannot shoot my friends.

They did their best. You should reward them.

All right. I'll give them commissions in the army.

Commissions? Not me.

Straight salary or nothing.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You know I'm temperamental.

Yeah, 95 % temper, 5 % mental. And how?

Huh?

Here you are, gentlemen. Take these warts to General LaGrande. He'll take

of you in a large manner.

Oh, thank you. Show them the way.

Gonna make you a general.

I always wanted to be in the army at such steady rate.

Relax. Hold him, Larry, hold him.

Get the car on.

General, our commission.

Yeah, we signed contract with six months options.

Very well, gentlemen, we will take care of this at once.

Follow me.

Hello.

Hello. Hello.

I hope they give me a double -breasted suit. I'd look much thinner.

Come on.

Now, gentlemen, stand against the wall, if you please.

I want to watch the big idea.

Maybe they're gonna pin a medal on us. I know. Maybe they're gonna take our

picture for identification.

I'm gonna send one home to Elaine.

Attention!

Some class, they're going to fire a salute in our honor. That's well.

Say, we want 21 guns.

Three will be sufficient, gentlemen.

What does he mean?

My friends, have you said your prayers?

Yeah, last night I... Good.

Ready.