Original subtitles

You sure you're up for this?

Would I be here?

Boy, you sound awful.

Thank you.

All right.

Just remember, Sonny Boy Domenico used to work high wire act in the circus.

not going to be easy to grab. All about it, all right?

He's jumped bail four times. He used to work in the circus. He's got to be hard

to catch. What?

I said stop talking.

I'll take the back. You take the front.

Telegram.

Good morning.

Telegram for Mr. Sunny Boy Domenico.

Thanks for the warning.

I said oof.

Oof? What the hell is oof supposed to mean?

Sorry.

Rick, you are a sick man.

For three years, you've been coming down with this thing, regular as clockwork.

It is now time to go to a doctor.

I've been practicing medicine for 15 years, and that's the worst case I've

seen. The worst?

On the good side, we could be facing trench mouth, strep throat, or

mononucleosis. That's a good side.

I'm afraid so.

What's the bad side?

Well, chronic virulent tonsillitis can lead to kidney problems, respiratory

complications, or even diphtheria.

No. Yeah, I'm afraid so. You've got one of the worst cases of tonsillitis I've

ever seen.

I'm prescribing antibiotics now, and I'm scheduling for surgery as soon as this

case clears up. No.

No, no, no.

This isn't one of those situations where you have any choice, Mr. Simon.

If those tonsils don't come out, it could cause major medical complication.

Even death.

I'm not going through with this. Oh, come on, Rick. Don't be foolish.

Dr. Ellis said it has to be done. Besides which, I'm not going in any more

with a partner who can't talk. I can talk just fine. Now? This is my year.

Miss International Centerfold gets here tomorrow.

That's right.

I'd forgotten all about that.

It's my year to protect her, and this is Miss April.

Oh, big deal. It's just another brainless beauty. No, no, no. This is

April. I would die for Miss April. They could pump me full of machine gun

bullets. Yeah, well, they're going to have to take your tongue out first.

You're using this, A .J.

You are taking advantage of the fact that I'm a little bit under the weather

cheat me out of my year.

All right.

All right, I'll tell you what. I'll make the deal. You go into the hospital.

You let Dr. Ellis make you all better.

And you can have Miss Thunderfold for the next two years in a row.

Make it three, we got a deal. Forget it. Die.

Well,

you were right about Miss April.

I'm going to enjoy being her escort.

Clothes make the man.

back to the office. I've got to check Miss April's itinerary.

I wish

I

were dead.

I didn't mean that.

We're losing him. I've increased the oxygen.

How are

we doing?

I don't know about you, but I'm doing lousy.

I see. I've got a comedian. Is that it?

Well, Mr. Rick, I eat funny guys alive.

Grind them into hamburger and whoop!

We understand each other?

Oh, yeah.

Thanks. I feel much more relaxed now.

You know, you're the oldest consult patient I've ever had.

They usually fucking on lollipops when they come in here.

Well, actually, I'm only 12 years old.

Apart from the throat, I also have some hormone problems.

Hormone problem?

That's a hoot. Now I want to know whether to call you Mr. Rick or Ricky.

It's a very impressive resume.

Thank you.

Frankly, I'm surprised you put some of those things down on paper. I haven't

seen anything like it before.

It's fascinating.

I'm delighted you got the picture.

Oh, I got the picture. You're a man who isn't afraid to use force. My only

question is, if the situation warrants it, are you willing to use ultimate

force? That part of it isn't written down.

For that, you have to be able to read between... Between the lines.

A beautiful passing shot by Lindquist.

Caught Taylor Blackwood.

Thank God I found somebody who's watching the match.

I hate Taylor. What?

I'm up the hall, room 105.

My TV's out.

Oh.

Sven Lindquist is going to be number one someday.

I used to play him.

I'm a pro. Lakeview Country, though.

Tony Sting. Oh.

Get a little flip job tomorrow.

What? Pops, right here.

Oh. Routine operation.

Doc Ellis said, snip, snip, and home I go. In today, out tomorrow.

Ellis, huh?

Yeah, I hate his guts.

What a hell of a doctor, though.

Takes lessons from me. Small world.

Why? Because the doctor's operating on his tennis coach?

Oh, no, he's, uh, he's doing me tomorrow morning.

Consulitis. Aren't you a little old for that?

Jeez, did you see that drop shot?

It landed like a hunk of lead.

Oh, man. What are you doing in here?

I'm watching the match. My TV's out.

Bed. Oh, come on.

This is homework for me. Tennis is my business.

Well, nursing is mine, Mr. Tony. So I know the best place for you the night

before an operation is in the privacy of your own room.

Warm and snug. Where we can find you anytime you want.

I'm staying to the end of the set.

Bed.

Bed?

I'll see you in the recovery room.

Let me know who wins, will you?

Yeah, just hope it's up.

Good morning.

Don't you ever go home? I'm a single parent with three kids. I work all the

hours I can get.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

No, I shouldn't. This is homework.

I protect these girls when they come to San Diego.

Yeah, I'll bet you do.

Okay, bottoms up.

What? Doctor's almost ready for you.

Bottoms up.

This is embarrassing.

It's poetic justice.

You look at Miss Centerfold, I look at Mr. Rick.

You sure you got the right spot?

How could I miss?

What'd you give me?

Something absolutely legal.

Have a nice trip, Mr. Rick.

I'll see you when you get back.

Have a nice trip. We'll see you when we get back.

Don't worry, Mr. Simon.

Don't worry.

I don't know what you're talking about. You hid it and you know it, Tony. No,

no, I didn't. I didn't hide it. I didn't hide anything.

Please, don't hurt me. I'm telling the truth.

You're a liar. You're a liar. No, I swear I didn't hide it.

I didn't hide it.

Oh, God, no.

No, no.

I was starting to get lonely.

I had to make rounds.

Looks like he's still pretty far under.

Okay, I've got a staff meeting. I'll be back in a few hours. He should be awake

by then. We can start with the truth serum.

What about the other guy, the guy I hit?

Don't worry.

I gave him something that'll keep him drowsy for a long, long time.

What hit me?

Rick, it's over.

The doctor says you're fine.

How come my jaw hurts?

It's probably from the operation.

Somebody hit me.

It's probably the doctor. You're probably chewing on his scalpel.

What let you in here?

Look at the pretty flowers he brought you.

Carbon dioxide.

Cecilia, he seems to be delirious.

I'm going back to work.

If he finds his brains, have him call me.

I saw a murder.

Yeah.

He's hallucinating.

Then again, why should that come as any surprise?

Is he okay?

He's still a little groggy from whatever they gave him. I am not.

How do you feel?

Awful.

Hold on a sec. I got a surprise for you. Age.

Myth. International centerfold.

May I present my mother, Cecilia Simon.

Hello. And my brother, Richard Simon.

Hi, guys.

You can just call me Cindy.

Hey, Jerry. Yeah. I saw a murder.

Hanging out with detectives was going to be exciting.

Don't pay any attention, Cindy. He's not quite back to normal yet.

I am, too.

AJ, the guy next to me in recovery was a tennis pro.

Somebody killed him.

Shouldn't we get him a nurse or something?

I want everybody to listen to me. I am not groggy. I am not hallucinating.

You know, my Uncle Billy saw a murder once on a trolley car in St. Louis.

Someone shot the driver.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

You know, you see, my mind is totally clear.

It was Stanton.

Tony Stanton, that's the guy's name.

Um, okay.

I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll...

Go into the recovery room and ask the nurse if anyone was murdered there this

morning. Would you use your head for something besides a hat rack?

Are you saying no one was murdered in the recovery room this morning?

Check room 105.

That's where he's supposed to be.

But I'm telling you right now, you're not going to find him there.

105. 105.

Tony Stanton. Tony Stanton.

Murdered. Right.

Right.

Would you excuse me just a moment?

Dr.

Bicklin, please call X -ray room three.

Dr. Bicklin, X -ray room three.

May I help you?

Uh, yes. I was looking for Tony Stanton.

Are you a relative?

No. Well, yeah, I'm a relative of Mr. Simon in 107.

Oh, Ricky.

Yeah, Ricky.

And Ricky was worried about Tony. Why?

Well, my brother is a humanitarian nurse. He has a deep and abiding concern

his fellow man.

Mm -hmm.

Obstetrical resident...

Well, Cindy, I'd be interested to learn how you're enjoying your reign as Miss

International Centerfold.

Well, it's okay if you like traveling.

You know, but you know, the people get a little bit weird sometimes.

Weird?

Yeah, because they've seen pictures of you naked.

Mystery solved.

Your friend, Tony Stanton, had an allergic reaction to the anesthetic.

He's been moved upstairs, room 467, critical care.

There, there's absolutely nothing to worry about.

So much dog.

Anyone else would have been bloody on the floor right now.

I hope you're as good as you say you are because somebody's on to what's

happening. And if I can't get him out of this hospital, he's going to have to be

killed.

I don't know what you're talking about. You get it and you know it, Tony.

No, I didn't. I didn't hide it. I didn't hide anything.

Please, don't hurt me. I'm telling the truth.

You're a liar. You're a liar, Tony.

I swear I didn't hide it.

Help me.

Please help me.

Please wake up.

I don't know who else to talk to. Please.

I need your help.

You're real.

Thank God you're awake.

I can't find anyone else to help me.

You're real. My name is Penny Stanton.

I'm Tony's sister, the man who was next to you in recovery.

Penny, you have no idea how glad I am to know that you actually exist.

Tony's gone.

Something terrible has happened to him. I've been searching the whole hospital.

They told me they took him to...

I think someone in this place is trying to kill him.

Who? I don't know.

But before the operation, he told me his life was in danger, and now I can't

find him. Every place I go, people are telling me that I'm crazy.

I surely do know that feeling.

Darling. You alright?

Great.

What are you doing in here? Get out of here.

No more roaming. We just can't tolerate that. It's a good thing I saw you get on

that elevator.

I don't believe you.

I don't believe anybody in this place.

Mr. Rick.

If you go into critical care, you may find someone in a coma. You told my

brother Tony Stanton was in there. According to my records, he was. They

transferred him before I came on duty, and that was over eight hours ago.

He was killed in recovery. Mr. Rick, you're letting your imagination run away

with you. A moment ago, you said that there was a woman in here named Penny.

Where is she now?

Did she just disappear into thin air?

I'm going to have to call Dr.

Ella.

AJ. We're not in right now, so at the sound of the beep, please leave your

and message.

AJ.

AJ, you gotta get over here right away. I don't care where you are or what the

hell you're doing. Just get over here.

Easy, easy.

You okay?

Boy, what a dream.

I was surrounded by all these little guys, pigpens or something.

They were sticking me with spears.

I understand you were bouncing off the walls last night.

Yeah, well, if you'd seen what I'd seen, you'd be bouncing off the walls, too.

Well, the question is, if you saw what you think you saw.

Oh, don't start that again.

All right, I'll admit it. I had a skull full of oatmeal, but I know I saw

something happen to Tony Stanton in that recovery room, and now I got proof his

sister... Good morning.

Huh. Well, you look quite a bit calmer today.

How do you feel?

My skull was carved by Geppetto.

Ah, a little drug hangover, huh? That's quite normal.

Huh? Let me admire my work.

Open up there.

Looks fine.

I can get you out of here today if you like.

There's no big rush.

Got some unfinished business around here.

Oh, you mean that dream you had in post -op?

Well, I don't know what I'd do to put your mind at ease, but it's completely

natural for your most vivid dreams to be about your work. Since you're a

detective, you thought you saw a crime committed.

You know, Dr. Ellis, maybe the best thing would be for Rick to go and visit

Tony, see him in person.

That's impossible.

Why? I discharged him yesterday. He went home.

Let me get this straight.

First he's in one room, and then he's in another room, and then he's gone.

Yeah. And nobody's laid eyes on him.

Of course they did. Look, the only thing unusual about Mr. Stanton's surgery was

he had a family history of allergic reactions to anesthesia.

After the operation, I put him in the critical care room. But he improved so

rapidly, I discharged him.

They moved another patient into that room.

The man you found there last night.

Rick, what he's saying makes a lot of sense.

Yeah. I mean, the best thing to do is to get out of here, forget all about the

dream, get back to work on real cases.

I'll check with you later today.

Thank you, Dr. Ellis.

Here.

It's the idea of siding with him.

I'm not siding with him.

If you want to know the truth, I think his story sounds a little hokey and a

little pat, so it's better if he thinks we believe him, right?

Like I said, why don't you pretend you're siding with him?

I think that's a great idea.

I'm glad I thought of it.

You mentioned proof?

Why, Tony's sister came by here earlier.

She hasn't seen him since the surgery, either.

Doesn't that strike you as being just a little bit strange?

I've got to go pick up Cindy and take her to her early appearance.

After I've done that, I'll swing by Tony's place and see if he's really

like the good doctor says he is.

Oh, AJ, there's one more thing.

Can you get Cindy to autograph that for me?

Mm -hmm.

She can, right? Can't she?

As a matter of fact, she has a master's in political science.

I just love intellectual women.

Well, Tony, you're finally making progress.

You already told me that.

What about her husband?

I hate him.

And you figured he was so stupid he wouldn't see what was going on right

his nose.

He doesn't know.

You're so sure about that you actually allowed him to perform surgery on you.

She said if I didn't, he'd get suspicious.

Tony, did you ever start to think that maybe Penny hoped he'd kill you on his

operating table? Wow.

Do you have any idea how you got sick?

Polyps. You never had polyps.

When you were freeloading on Dr. Ellis's boozer with spike with streptococcus

bacteria, that's what gave you a sore throat.

I have polyps.

She had a strong word.

They tell the truth even when it's a lie.

The suspect was here.

Tony's not a suspect.

He's the victim, maybe.

And yes, he lives here.

You sure you don't want to change your mind?

I mean, I could still get you to the auditorium. You'd only be a few minutes

late. I told you, I am not going.

I met with another group of these pork growers in Kansas City last month.

Instead of applauding for me, they snorted.

I'm sure they meant well.

Forget it, AJ. I'm not going.

I would much rather help you solve this case.

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just a minute there.

You are not helping me do anything.

Now, if you want to miss your appearance, that's all right.

But you're not helping me solve anything. Is that clear?

Okay.

But Rick wouldn't let me. I heard that.

All right, Mr. Tennis Bro.

We come to the big question. What did you do with the money you and Penny

from her husband?

Penny's money.

Penny's money? What do we want to call it? Where is it?

Colonial Heritage Savings and Loan. Safe deposit box.

And where's the key?

My apartment.

Kitchen drawer.

That's a good boy, Tony.

That's excellent.

You can rest now.

What now?

Dr. Svendali.

Well, we'll readmit him to the hospital. He'll suffer from some unforeseen

relapse, go into coma, and never come out again.

You know what you are. I mean, under all that righteous medical baloney.

No, why don't you tell me?

You are just another poor, dumb slob of a husband who's been made a fool of.

And that's got you madder than the money.

I'm going to use the phone and call your tour promoter, tell him we won't be

making the pork growers meeting.

Mr. Hilleman, please.

Hi, Mr. Hilleman.

A .J. Simon.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. I know we're supposed to be there, but we're not going to make this

one.

Cindy is sick.

Well, yeah, I know it's short.

How does she look?

She looks terrible.

Absolutely awful.

Her 11 o 'clock appearance.

Uh, yes.

She should be... She'll be better by then. Fine.

Yes, sir. She will be better by then. I guarantee it. I pro...

All

righty. You wait here. This isn't going to take long. I want to help.

No.

Now, you stay here, Cindy. I mean it.

Stay.

May I get something for you, miss?

Excuse me, Mr. Tobias. Are you the manager?

That's right.

What can I do for you? Some lessons?

Uh, no, actually, uh, I'm a friend of Tony Stanton's, and I went to visit him

the hospital, but they told me he checked out yesterday.

I don't think so.

I'd know if he were around.

We play all the time.

Oh.

Uh, is he still living here in the condos?

Yeah, he lives right over there, 211.

But I think you're wasting your time. I'm sure he's not home.

All righty.

Thank you anyway.

Guess somebody got the wires crossed.

Well, how'd we do?

We did lousy.

Tony's not around, and I can't get a look inside his apartment.

Why not?

Did you ever try and pick a lock with a couple of dozen tennis players around as

spectators? It's not recommended.

So we need a pass key.

It'd be nice.

Wait, right.

No! Cindy, come back here.

Cindy!

All I am saying is that using your assets to get past you doesn't exactly

you Miss Marple. Okay, maybe not.

I thought it was pretty slick myself.

So, what are we supposed to be looking for in this place anyway, huh?

We aren't looking for anything. You are looking for a place to sit down. Sit.

I am looking for... Well, I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for.

Motive for murder, possibly. Will you put that down?

There's a pretty hot -looking couple.

Look at that.

You know, AJ, I'm a little like that myself.

Tony!

Tony, are you home?

Tony?

Home?

Baby, are you home?

Baby, you home?

Hello?

Hi.

Who are you?

I'm A .J. Simon.

You're with Rick Simon?

Yes, he's my brother.

Oh, thank goodness.

Well, he must have told you all about me. I'm Penny Stanton, Tony's sister.

Well, he did tell me all about you, yes.

However, you're not Tony's sister.

Mr. Stanton should be arriving soon. Is his room ready? Yes, Doctor.

407.

Orderly to room 319.

Intern rounds with Dr. Miller have been canceled.

Intern rounds with Dr. Miller have been canceled.

You're Tony's girlfriend.

And judging from this letter, I would say Tony's married girlfriend.

Yeah.

You're right.

My real name is Penny Ellis.

Dr. Maynard Ellis is my husband.

The tennis pro and the doctor's wife. You know, I think I've seen this one on

Dallas. No, no, it's not like that.

Look, I love Tony, and he loves me.

Does your husband know this?

Oh, I was so sure he didn't.

But he must have found out either about Tony and me or about the money.

What money?

When Maynard and I were married, I had an inheritance of nearly half a million

dollars. Well, if I had a half a million dollars, I would never get married.

The first few years of his practice, Maynard claimed he was losing money.

So he lived off mine.

Last summer.

I found out he'd taken all the profits he'd made from those years and hidden

cash in safe deposit boxes.

He didn't even pay any income taxes on it.

It's a nice little scam.

Well, when Tony and I decided to go away, I started taking money out of

safe deposit boxes and hiding it myself.

It was mine.

Maynard cheated me out of it.

Do you think your husband found out about this and decided to get Tony?

Yeah.

Maynard, he is such a selfish, arrogant man.

If he knows about us.

liable to do anything.

As soon as I can make sure the admittance forms are in order, we can

up to room 407. And I wanted you to put an appearance somewhere in the west

wing. You know, just let them know you're around.

That way no one will question you when you wheel our friend up to his room.

You need to tell me. I'll come get you out of here.

I don't think so.

Maybe I spoke too soon.

Dr. Chadway, please call your service.

Dr. Chadway, please call your service.

Oh, now he's gone too.

Come on.

Excuse me.

Do you know where Rick Simon might be?

Ricky? Try his room? Yes.

Good luck then. Your brother's the wandering gypsy of the hospital.

Uh, what about Dr. Ellis? Is he around?

He was here earlier. I haven't seen him recently.

Could you please have him paged for me?

Oh, sure, Mrs. Ellis.

Dr. Ellis, nurse's station, fifth floor, please.

Dr. Ellis, nurse's station, fifth floor.

Dr. Ellis, please.

Sarah. You kept butting in, didn't you?

Now I'm afraid you're too ill to be released.

Terminally nosy.

I'd like a second opinion on that.

I think you're terminal, too.

Thanks.

You don't really think you're going to be able to explain to patients dying

after a minor surgery, do you?

Oh, you're not going to die. You're going to disappear.

Oh.

You're having psychotic episodes wandering all over the hospital.

And finally, you just wandered away and were never found.

Wouldn't be the first case like that.

And who knows?

You might end up in our dissection lab.

Dr. Ellis, please call the fifth floor nurse's station.

He should have answered by now.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Ellis. The doctor must have already left the hospital.

Well, no. No, I saw his car on the lot.

Does he have a beeper?

Yeah. Have him beeped.

And I'll tell you what to say when he calls.

This is Dr. Ellis, my wife.

Okay, we'll transfer her over.

Hello, darling, what's up?

Maynard, the police were just here looking for you.

Something about a private investigator named Simon.

They're on the way to the hospital right now.

Uh, Simon, yeah.

Look, don't worry, it's just someone trying to make trouble on a malpractice

claim.

Yeah, thanks for letting me know. I'll take care of everything, and I'll see

when I get home for dinner.

Damn it, they're on to us. We've got to get these two out of here.

How?

Get me a dispatcher.

Yeah, this is Dr. Ellis. I need an ambulance at the rear entrance right

I'm going to transport two people.

It's an emergency, so please hurry.

I presume.

Tony.

Oh, shoot.

You caught him already. We missed all the excitement.

Rick, you all right?

How'd you find me?

Flushed them out with a phone call.

Hi, Ricky.

That's not aging.

How are you feeling, Mrs. Cindy?

Hi.

You know, you're my favorite month.

Please don't call me Ricky.

I won't forget.

But I will be lonely.

For I'll remember April.

Aren't we in a good mood?

Maybe this will cheer you up. Cindy left it for you.

To Rick.

I wish I'd gotten to know you better.

You seem like my type.

Love, kisses, and et cetera.

Cindy.

What do you suppose she meant by and et cetera?

Beats me.

I just know what it meant in my case.

Well, at least I have the consolation knowing I will be escorting

her successors for the next three years running.

Rick?

I've been meaning to talk to you about that. No!

No, you promised. That's it. End of discussion. No more.

That's not my doing.

Cindy missed a few appearances.

The promoter blames us, and he canceled the contract. We're fired.

No more Miss International Centerfold.

No more Miss International Centerfold.

No more Cindy's. No more Cindy's. Ever.

I'm sorry.

Good morning.

How are we doing today?

Oh, you look terrible.

Are you sure you want to be discharged?

Maybe you ought to just put me to sleep.

In case you decide to live.

I brought your personal effects.

You know, you're a pretty rare bird.

Did I ever tell you you're the oldest tonsillectomy patient I've ever had?

you know me.

Oh, what is that?