Original subtitles

Hello? Anybody home?

Hey, Ahmed, get your butt over here.

Ah, butts, yes, butts, butts, butts, butts.

How you say, how you say, how you say?

Cigarettes, yes, aisle four. And a very good night to you tonight, missus.

I want to pay for this.

Yes. And I can't... find those salt -free potato chips you used to have.

Ah, yes.

Well, where the hell are they?

I am very well, thank you. And where the hell are you?

Joke.

Get me some eggs, too.

Ah, yes, eggs.

Rick, I think you're getting a little carried away.

I mean, it's not going to matter if the store is robbed if you keep driving

their customers away.

We're going to be in a lot better shape if this place is deserted when the guy

walks in. That's going to happen tonight. I got a feeling. You said last

And the night before, and the night before that. He has hit three quickie

in the last week. Now, whatever's making him do this is making him do it more

often. That's the only one left.

Eggs. Eggs.

Eggs. Eggs.

You're tracking dirt.

Listen, mister, you cannot talk to me like that. In my country, I'm extra

technician. I'm sorry I put eggs at bottom. Next time you come in, I give

free racing form. Have a night.

Sheesh.

That's him.

Nuts, he doesn't look anything like the police composite.

Do you think if those guys could draw it, it'd be cops?

The hell are you looking at? Ah, good evening, sir. Ah, this is no public

library. You break it, you buy it. Will there be anybody else? Perhaps some

chocolate chip cookies?

Do you have any razor blades?

I'm sorry, would you say this again?

I said, open the register and empty it on the counter.

Ah, that is not what you said. No, you cannot fool Peru so easily. My English

not that bad.

You said... Do you know how many eggs you broke in here?

Razor blades, I believe is what you said.

sugar just the way you like it.

I like my coffee black. What did you do? Clean up the coffee pot? Wait, wait.

I'm not finished yet.

Two dozen.

Jumbo. Plain donut.

Your favorite.

Let's see. What do we got here? This month's issue of Birds and Bees.

Related boudoir.

What else we got here? Bottle of sangria.

Yukon bar.

What's going on?

I went down to the Quickie Mart to pick up her check.

They gave us a bonus.

Too bad. in 15 seconds.

We risked our lives for a bottle of sangria and a Yukon bar?

Well, try not to think of it that way, A .J. What we did, we preserved the right

of every American to buy a girly magazine and a frozen pizza at 2 o

the morning at perfect safety.

What did I tell you about where to change the order?

You said they're cheap.

When you're right, you're right. What can I say?

Hiya. Hal Goddard.

Quite a job you guys pulled off last night.

Liked your interview on TV, too.

Thank you. Thank you very much. What can we do for you, Mr. Goddard? Well, I'm

always looking around for good people.

You may have heard of Bob Jacobs?

State senator.

That's him. That's him. That's right.

Only thing was, when I met him, he wanted to be an orthodontist.

See, that's what I do. I, uh... I guide political careers.

Oh. Oh, you want us to provide security for one of your candidates, huh?

No, no, no. What I was thinking, what I'm talking here is... Simon for city

council.

Well, I don't think I could, really.

Hey, Rick.

I love the hat. I love the look. I can tell you're a maverick and a renegade, a

real rough -and -ready guy. A .J., what I had in mind was you running for city

council.

Andrew Jackson Simon.

Come on, A .J., even the name's perfect.

Yeah, but politicians are supposed to be special, and I just, I don't

feel special.

You're not making anybody special to run things, A .J.

You are it.

What's important to realize is you have potential.

We're going into the primary. Only the top two make the finals. I think you're

going to be one of them.

He's right, A .J. When you were little, all you wanted to be was president.

Well, and Rick wanted to be Captain Midnight, and that little girl that

next door, what's her name, Mavis, she wanted to be Sheena, Queen of the

Well, one of us made it.

Look, A .J., the thing that's important here is, all right, the reason you like

being a private investigator is you get to help people.

You'd have a hell of an opportunity to help people if you had a real say in how

the city's run.

And what about our business?

We're partners, Rick. I don't want to be left out of that. I can run the

business for the time being. If I need help, I'll yell.

What exactly do you get out of this?

Well, during the campaign, I'll pay myself a moderate salary out of the war

chest. Then if you're elected, there'll be one more up -and -coming politician

that won't refuse my calls.

Meaning that I'd be some sort of political hack who owed you favors?

A .J., you can run for office without owing any favors.

You just can't get elected.

Now, I think you got a lot to offer.

So does your family.

What matters now is what do you think?

I'd be lying if I said it didn't appeal to me.

I mean, I've always thought the government was there to help people so

wouldn't have to face overwhelming problems alone.

If I do this, I want to make a difference.

I mean, I was lucky enough to grow up in a wonderful city like San Diego, and I

want to make sure that city is...

Just as wonderful for my kids and for their kids.

I think I just talked myself into it.

I'll drink to that.

Councilman.

You any relation to the other Nixon? No basketball players in my family.

Look at the camera, AJ. Don't squint.

Lieutenant Brown, I spoke to you on the phone? Yeah.

Have to help AJ with this. I'm glad to hear you say that, a man of your

reputation and integrity in San Diego.

Thanks very much, Mr. Nixon.

Step right in there, Mr. Brown.

Make sure you see the badge, please. He'll be terrific.

I thank you.

Hey, Ricky.

Hey, Bill.

How you guys doing? Look, are you guys registered voters? Destroy that one,

you, please? Well, no, I know those guys. You'll get used to it, AJ. You'll

used to it. Now, listen, I set up a press conference for tomorrow, and I

you to spend the rest of the day and tonight with me talking about your

platform. All right.

Actually, I'm glad we're getting to that, because I've got some ideas for a

naturalization of immigration I'd like to run by you. Well, that's great. I

you to keep them to yourself, all right?

It's not an easy issue to take sides on at this stage in the campaign, all

right?

Elgar? That's right, that's right.

Talk to me.

Hey, Johnny Lee, how's it going with you, boy?

I told you not to worry about them polls, son.

You want to drop the Lee from your promos, why?

It's your middle name, Johnny.

Lee's a good southern name. Now, remember, your opponent is a Yankee

and I want to underline that fact.

Right. That's what I want to hear you say. Good, good. Don't you worry about a

thing. I'll be down there in a few days to wrap this thing up.

Talk to you later.

You're running someone else's campaign as well? Don't worry about it. It's

control.

Here's your competition.

A couple of unknowns, the usual lunatics, and the man that you've got to

about.

Mr. Stern.

I intend to keep the air pure, the waters clear, and the seas bright

and living blue.

I also intend to make certain that history isn't bulldozed over in order to

room for another parking lot.

I think that's about it. I'm happy to answer some questions.

Temple, uh, Miss Hill.

Temple Hill, Channel 3 News.

Mr. Simon, San Diego is growing by leaps and bounds, and some say it's a bit too

fast. What do you think?

I think that sustained growth of our fair city must be tempered by

planning. I mean, we don't want San Diego to turn into another L .A.

We have to make sure that all our local services, housing, transportation, that

they're all ready to accommodate that growth.

Thank you.

It's natural.

Too early to tell.

Mr. Simon, Mary Linear, Channel 12 News.

Let's face it, Mr. Simon, you're a private investigator whose background

consists of breaking and entering, spying, and sleazy divorce cases.

You can't handle your problems with a gun on the city council of San Diego.

Do you really think you belong in politics?

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. No, Al, I want to answer

Let me...

tell you a little bit about my line of work.

People come to me and my brother when they have nowhere else to turn.

They've tried the police, the courts, politicians, and they haven't gotten any

help, so they come to us.

What we do isn't glamorous.

Sometimes we carry guns, and sometimes we sit in parked cars all night.

But we always ask questions in search of truth and justice.

And quite frankly, I think that serving truth and justice is

not bad preparation for city councilmen.

AJ, this is Emily, who brought over a few of her friends.

We're behind you 100%, AJ.

Oh, thank you. You know how in all the campaigns you always see the pretty

with the little hats and everything. Emily's doing Camelot over at the Old

Dinner Theater. That's nice. Well, highlights from, you know, I write

too. Listen to what I worked out, okay?

AJ Simon's running for city council.

AJ is the one to beat all the candidates. That's terrific. Vote for AJ

Vote for him today, cause San Diego needs this guy. Let's elect a J. That's

wonderful.

Rick, Rick, Rick.

Listen, I know we're going to be able to use these volunteers.

Good, good.

This brother helping brother angle, it's beautiful, it really is. But let me

hire the staff, will you? Right. I mean, my people can take care of all this.

I've got more important things for you to do, like catering.

Catering's very important in Canton.

Right. Yeah, you can coordinate with my people. It'll be great. Oh, by the way,

I rented you a new car. It's that dark blue sedan outside.

What, do you got a car?

Rick, the last thing we need in this campaign is an oddball, brother.

Most people drive normal cars, and I've seen that, Rick. It's not normal.

Right.

I'm not running for anything. I know that. I know that. But any attention you

draw to yourself by being eccentric is going to hurt us.

So I want you to keep a very low profile, all right?

Right. Thank you. I appreciate it. I knew you'd understand.

Yeah.

Are you Mr. Stern's assistant?

If you're here to volunteer, see Karen. She'll show you how to register new

voters. No, I need to see Mr. Stern. At the warehouse, they told me to talk to

you. Why don't you come back tomorrow, honey? Mr. Stern is very busy today.

Can I make an appointment? It's important.

It's about my brother.

He's been killed.

I'm sure Mr. Stern would love to talk to you, but this is a bad time.

Try again tomorrow.

Don,

I just got the first reports on the other candidates.

Ah, talk to me. I don't think we have anything to worry about. Helena

the teacher, was treated for depression when she was 19.

Cute. And Billings hasn't got a program.

He just wants to cut all spending.

And what about this Simon kid, though? Our own polls say he came up five points

in three days.

Well, Goddard's launched a pretty aggressive campaign. He's building up a

support among the younger demographics.

But I've seen Al operate before.

He always picks a young, pretty face, and the voters get bored real fast.

It's too close for comfort, Arnie.

He's getting great press for catching this quickie robber. People will forget

about that, and when they do, Simon will be just another tacky private eye with

a police record. There's nothing to worry about.

Hope so.

Please be seated now, ladies.

Thank you all for coming.

Most of you know my son, Andrew.

He probably delivered your newspapers at one time.

Andrew has been in the business of helping people in one way or another for

long as I can remember.

Now he's asking your support in the race for city councilman.

I hope you'll all give him a warm welcome.

Thank you, Mom.

You know, lately a lot of people have been referring to my brother and me as

heroes. But quite honestly, I can't think of anything I've done that was

heroic as when I used to make it past Mrs.

Abernathy's dog delivering groceries.

Well, I've grown up a lot since then.

And San Diego has grown up with us.

Frankly, I haven't liked everything that I've seen.

Air pollution, traffic congestion.

But still, I don't think that anyone can deny that San Diego is an

extraordinarily beautiful city.

Highway.

Very well developed city.

Darnie, I ask you to bury Simon and you throw him a bachelor party? Not Donald.

Not only does he come off smelling like a rose with that quip of his, but now

everybody in the state knows his name. Donald. What? I had nothing to do with

that girl and the cake.

What?

If I had been told about a schedule change, would have had the right cake at

right place at the right time. You're the one who told me to order a cake with

girl in it.

Party at the Brotherhood of the Condor tomorrow night.

They put out a memo. I didn't get one.

Oh, wonderful.

Well, I made the headline. Far north of San Francisco, I am now the

laughingstock of the entire state.

Are you kidding? They ate it up.

I didn't know a human mouth could drop open that wide.

A .J., I want to talk to you for a minute, please.

To be honest, you were quick and we got lucky.

We cannot afford any more screw -ups by your brother.

Now, wait a minute. It was your people who made the mistake.

I'm not asking you to insult him. I've done this a million times. I can do it

without hurting his feelings.

You know, AJ, I've been thinking about it. I've been spending too much time on

this campaign stuff.

One of us is going to have to run the office.

Now, wait a minute, Rick. Seriously, unless you're elected governor six terms

something, somebody's going to have to run the business.

I can't do that with both of us out slapping babies and kissing backs.

I told you we couldn't make all these stops. The schedule is just too tight.

Mr. Stern?

Mr. Stern, I've got to talk to you. Miss Gale, I told you we'd get in touch with

you as soon as Mr. Stern had a free minute in his calendar. He's late for a

TV interview.

I'll wait for him. After that, he's tied up with a fundraiser. Please be

reasonable. This is a tight election.

Take it out of the campaign country.

Yeah, right.

Why not?

You guys, come here.

Mr. Stern, do you have any comment on last night's incident involving your

opponent, Mr. Simon?

Well, he can certainly think on his feet. I'll have to take my hat off to

young man.

Do you think it will affect the campaign?

Oh, I doubt it.

Mr. Simon's brother, Rick, ordered the cake. I understand he's quite a

character. But you're not going to hear any Rick Simon jokes from me. After all,

my young opponent is not his brother's keeper.

Oh, here we go with the oddball brothers.

But what does worry me is Mr. Simon's own background.

He's been accused of several counts of assault, breaking and entering,

possession of burglary tools, wiretapping illegally, impersonating a

This man has just officially entered the mudslinging stage.

Having a wild animal in a residential zone, discharging firearms within city

limits. Fraud.

Mr. Simon, your neighbors say that your brother's house explodes about twice a

year. Is that why you live in your boat out there?

He lives in his house. I live in my boat.

We've also been told that your dog has a scar from a bullet wound. I noticed

that you have a scar.

Is that from the same case?

I don't really remember. Why don't you ask my dog?

The guy's brother runs for office.

All of a sudden, people show up, start taking pictures of him naked.

They've been taking pictures of me when I was asleep.

Mouth open.

Oh, no, they couldn't possibly. There's not enough light in here.

I don't think.

Oh, this is unbelievable. What is going on around here? Look at that.

This is not good.

That's it.

I'm not taking that down.

About the time one of us went down there and gave Stern a piece of our mind.

Just hold on there, will you, Rick? I'm preparing a release heavy on your war

record. Cases you guys have solved. The whole Damon and Pythias brother angle.

Good.

He's not going to do anything foolish, is he?

Not without his pants, he won't, no.

keeps telling me to come back tomorrow.

Well, it's another tomorrow.

They said Mr.

Stern was here.

Now you say he's gone.

Well, you can tell Stern that he'd better be ready to tell me how my

died.

Excuse me. Excuse me, miss.

Hi, I'm Rick Simon.

I recognize you.

You're the oddball brother.

Yeah, that's me. Listen, I heard you say something in there I think you might

want to tell my brother A .J. about.

This doesn't have anything to do with politics.

I think my brother was murdered.

Oh, you got coffee?

When's the last time you saw him, Matt?

We had dinner a couple weeks ago.

He told me that he thought something strange was going on at the company.

A couple of the drivers were acting, I don't know, weird.

guys that he thought were his friends would suddenly clam up when he came

around, things like that.

The next thing I knew, he was dead.

As far as you know, there were no personal problems, you know, drinking,

anything like that?

No.

Matty was the most level -headed guy I've ever known.

He more or less raised me after my mother died and took care of the family

my dad got laid off.

If there were any problems, I'd know about them.

I take it you've already been to the police?

They say there's nothing to indicate that it wasn't an accident.

I did.

Until the insurance people said that we weren't entitled to Matt's company

insurance.

The Stearns people say that he wasn't clocked in at the time.

They say he took the truck out on personal business.

I know a lot of truckers who said they loved life on the road, but I've never

known one of them to take the rig out unless he was getting paid for it.

That's what I'd say.

I just can't get anybody to listen.

Well, I'd have a conflict of interest, you know, working for A .J.

But since I just resigned from the campaign staff, I guess I don't.

How y 'all doing, Dave?

I just come by to see if Matt Gale's on call.

Matt's dead.

Tell him to leave with the wheel a couple of days ago.

All right, it's bad.

Friend of yours, was he?

Well, you know, we swapped our share of stories whenever our paths crossed out

there on the road.

Figured I'd look him up as long as I was out here.

That is peculiar. He just didn't seem like the kind that'd lose it out there.

What do you think? It was an accident or a mechanical problem or what?

Yeah, it was an accident, all right.

Well, we got a lot of work to do here.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. Go ahead.

AJ? Yeah? I've got something to show you here.

Oh.

And Jackson Simon, born in San Diego.

Raised in San Diego.

Educated in San Diego.

Resourceful, energetic, dedicated.

Andrew Jackson Simon for a better San Diego.

How do you like that? Great, eh?

Yeah,

it's very nice. It's just, I mean, shouldn't we hear me saying something

you know, like my stand on the issues or something? We're going to get to that

phase two.

Phase two?

We've only got a few days before the primary. AJ, you've got a great smile.

When the voters go to the polls, they're going to forget what you said about

landfill, but they're going to remember your smile. My smile? Your smile.

Hey, Rick.

How's it going? Hi.

We've got a new client.

Oh, yeah? What?

Rick, it's good to see you. Glad to see a little hardball didn't get you down.

AJ, we've only got a little while before the banquet.

We've got to run over your responses for the debate tomorrow.

Mr. Simon? Mr. Simon?

What is your position on freeway construction?

On what?

Freeway? Freeway construction?

Ah, um... Well, with San Diego being one of the fastest growing cities in the

United States, it is clear that we will have some expansion.

No, no, hold it, hold it.

Expanding is out. It implies you want to raise taxes. That's the last thing

anybody wants to hear. Say that you are in touch with some experts in the field

who are currently studying the issue. We are?

Yeah. Hey, Jay, we got to get out of here. We got to get over to Troop, what

it, 113? They hold the record this year for selling most of those thick

chocolate bars.

We're going to get some pictures out of it. Come on, let's go. Yeah, well, wait.

Do you want to go over the case with me? No, no, I can handle it on my own. I've

got everything under control. I'll just stay here.

Hold it.

The press is calling your break in Simon Gate. Would you care to comment?

Did you break into Stern's for dirty tricks, or did your brother want

intelligence on Stern's campaign?

What the hell were you doing over there?

I'm a private investigator.

I want to know the case. Are you crazy? Breaking into the opponent's

headquarters to dig up... What the hell kind of case is that? A murder case.

Murder? Right.

You may have murdered your brother's political career.

A .T., we're going to have to make a statement immediately.

We're going to have to sit down and rethink our whole strategy.

Would you excuse us for a minute, Al? I'd like to talk to Rick alone.

While you're sitting in here, those reporters are pulling out old Watergate

editorials and putting your name in them. I know.

Would you excuse us, please?

Hurry up.

I wanted to tell you yesterday. I know.

Hey.

I'm sorry.

Our client's brother was killed in an accident near Stern's warehouse, unless

thinks it was murder.

What did you find out last night?

Well, there were some barrels in there marked HCN.

They had stickers all over them, danger, hazardous waste. Of course, you

couldn't see any of that once they'd put them inside other barrels.

Did they know what you saw?

Yeah, yeah, but they'd probably think what everybody else thinks, that I was

there for Stern's political headquarters.

By the time they figure it out, we could follow one of their trucks and find out

where they're dumping this stuff.

Is that the one you saw last night?

No, but if it starts leaking poison around Bakersfield, I want to be able to

prove where it came from.

At least I know what I'm gonna say.

is ready for action, Al. I plan on knocking him back to the Bush Leagues

now.

Come on, will you? Look, I'm sorry I'm late.

We have something important here.

Stern is illegally transporting and dumping toxic waste.

Can you prove that?

I have photographs of Stern's trucks and Stern's employees. I cannot prove that

Stern himself is personally involved. It's dangerous, A .J. Right now, the way

things have been going, it's better we play this safe. The only way

that we are going to bust this case open.

It's by forcing him into some kind of action.

Now, we feel there may be a murder involved here.

You're going to accuse Stern of murder?

Are you out of your mind?

I'm not going to accuse him of anything. I just want to shake him up a little

and see if he'll lead us to the evidence we need.

We play it safe. The way I said, we may still have a chance.

It's up to you.

You want to solve this case or you want to win this election?

What's it going to be?

Excuse me.

Welcome to a special election eve debate.

We are pleased to present the candidates in what is perhaps the most hotly

contested primary that San Diego's seen in a long time.

On my right, Donald Stern, a member of the Planning Commission, advisor to the

mayor on transportation, and most recently, a lobbyist for the trucking

industry.

Mr. Andrew Simon, a private investigator and a newcomer to politics. To my left

are Helena Needleman, civic teacher.

And Mr. Zeno Billings, a retired businessman who now devotes full time to

consumer problems.

Right. Candidate, why Donald Stern for city council now?

Well, Temple, I believe that the people of this great city of ours are tired of

inexperienced politicians running around like chicken little thinking the sky is

falling every time an acorn drops.

San Diego is going to be facing some issues in the years to come, and they

be dealt with, and dealt with with something more than a twinkly smile.

Now, I may be old -fashioned, but this old war horse believes that slow and

steady wins the race.

Thank you.

Mr. Simon.

Fact. People all over this nation are being ripped off all the time. Fact.

We need fast action, not this. slow and steady garbage.

Excuse me, Mr. Billings, but we're talking to Mr. Simon now.

Oh, my goodness. I'm sorry.

It's quite all right.

What the people of San Diego need is not more soothing rhetoric or cute

catchphrases. They need someone who will honestly apprise them of the problems

that our city faces and of the cost to the solutions of those problems, whether

it's economic or...

cultural, or environmental, Mr. Stern.

I never said there were no problems.

No, you really didn't say much of anything at all, did you?

Well,

maybe you'd like to say something. Maybe you'd like to explain what your brother

was doing breaking into my campaign headquarters late last night.

Gentlemen. I'd be happy to explain.

He was investigating illegal transportation of toxic waste in your

I have pictures, Mr. Stern, of your employees putting barrels labeled H -C

into your trucks and then dumping them illegally.

That's a lie! No, it is not.

I'm leaving. I don't have to put up with this.

Mr. Stern, uh... A .J., uh, Mr. Billings,

um... No comment.

I hope you realize what you just did.

Yes.

What the hell was that all about? Don't worry about it, Don. I've already got

our attorneys working on a response.

That's not what I mean. Is there anything going on in my company I don't

anything about? Of course not. Don't lie to me, Arnie.

I want every cargo manifest and billing log on my desk in half an hour.

I want every mile on every one of my trucks accounted for for the past...

You can't expect to get away with it. I don't think I'll come out too badly.

I may be out of the transport business for a while, but at least I get to walk

away clean.

They think you've been moving the stuff.

And it's you they're going to find, having died trying to destroy evidence.

Seems like a strange place to have a campaign debate.

If that leaks into the water table, you're going to poison the area around

for miles.

Come on, Donald.

Environmental issues were never your strong suit.

Anyway, you won't have to worry about it.

I don't think your friends like the way you came off in the debate.

It's not my idea of constructive criticism.

Okay. All right, let's go.

Let me go.

I'm calling the police.

I'm sending an SOS and Morse code.

The police will trace the call.

You got any other pressing questions?

Good ball, brother.

Your telephone's ringing.

Get it for me.

Lieutenant Brown's office.

Hello? Raider?

No, some Joker playing telegraph operator.

That's the last place to call.

Guys, we're going to have to place a time here.

Is there anything I can do to help?

You're a politician. Talk to him.

Tell me you think you can work something out.

I think we can work something out!

He's good.

I say we tie up the loose ends and get out of here.

What's he got to offer us?

It's too late!

If you hadn't let Simon get you on TV, we could have avoided this situation!

Tell me you think you still can.

I think we still can!

Let's get out of here.

getting too old for this kind of thing rick

got

your message good thing i was a boy scout i feel i owe you an apology for

insinuating that you were anything less than a professional good investigator is

just going to be able to look at things in a different light than most people

that's all and to you simon well may the best man win

Most of us expected from the dramatic events that unfolded yesterday, there's

been a heavy turnout at the polls today.

Upset was in the air, and upset is what we've seen from the tabulation so far.

Where is everybody?

People tend to take advantage of the first opportunity to step off the

Between them, they reaped a whopping 80 % of the votes, leaving Donald Stern

with a mere 13%, and Andrew Simon.

with a surprisingly low 7%. Barely edging out the standard write -ins for

animals at the zoo.

It's nothing personal, A .J.

Voters just don't like their candidates shooting up the city the night before

the primary.

What they like is a nice, serious lady who doesn't say anything too

controversial.

Don't tell me.

Yeah, that's right. I'm managing Helena Needleman during the election campaign.

We could go a long ways.

Hi, AJ.

You, um, you sacrificed a lot for me.

I'm sorry.

I'm not. AJ and I will probably take a few days off, you know, get in some

fishing, catch a little sun.

Oh, by the way, Emily and the girls wanted to come by and show you this

routine they've worked out from South Pacific and your book of the month.

it came in at about 12 pounds. Rick, I appreciate all the fuss, but it really

isn't necessary.

Hey.

Everything turned out for the best.

Well, goodbye, front page.

Hello, police reports.

Simon and Simon Investigations.

Yes, I did vote today.