All language subtitles for Simon & Simon s05e21 DIVORCE

Welcome, contestants, to the third
annual San Diego Corporate Olympics.

We regret to announce that the team from
Lorburn School of Dye has been forced

to withdraw due to a hostile takeover by
an out -of -town corporation.

And last call for the pole ballers from
Bellville Development.

Last call.

You're about to see it.

Last call.

We're just about ready to start the 880
relay.

Come on. Push, push, push. Stretch it
out. Stretch it out.

I'm going to get bounced out of the
Chamber of Commerce for this warm

already.

So there was a little weirdness at the
City Hall banquet. Big deal. If they

can't handle a lady in a fish suit, what
are they doing in business to begin

with? They did handle the lady in the
fish suit. They handled her all night.

That was the problem, if I recall.

You're the only one wound up swimming
with her in the fountain.

We'd expect you to drown in the suds if
I hadn't. Hey, there's our boy. Let's

get cracking.

Runners, take your marks.

This is it. This is it. I mean, I just
don't care how much she's paying. Forget

the money. Think of the peace of mind
we're giving her. Peace of the rock is

more like it.

She gets custody of the car, visiting
rights to the country club.

We get kicked out of the chamber.

They ought to give us an award for our
ingenuity. This is business at its

finest. Couldn't come up with something
else. I mean, look, we could catch him

in the shower. We have been tracking
this weasel for three weeks. Now let's

him. Come on, get ready.

And they're off.

Look at them go.

I'm sorry.

Pretty impressive as he takes the first
lap lead.

Probably counted him blank. Oh.

Save the butter, Rick. This is the
bottom, the absolute last divorce case

ever go on. Oh, hi, Mom. Hi, Mrs. K.

Hi.

I hope you don't mind our letting
ourselves in. Uh, no. I thought you lost

key. Oh, I did.

I used that squiggly little thing that
looks like a corkscrew.

Oh, number four.

Getting pretty good at that.

Well, if you ladies will excuse me just
a minute, I'll go put something on.

Don't bother, A .J. I used to diaper
you.

He hasn't changed much.

Yeah, what can we do for you ladies?

Are you collecting for the Symphony Ball
again? Because my checkbook's upstairs.

No, A .J., it's business this time.

Boys, I need your help.

Okay, tell us all about it.

Well, you see, Bud and I are... Well,
uh...

Cece, you tell him.

Divorce. Again?

Tonight, she's your mother. Yes, and
Edie Krellman is my mother's oldest

I don't know why you're being so crabby
about this. Because they've broken up

three times in the last seven years.
There isn't seven times in the last

years. Do you remember the last time
they broke up, Rick?

Huh?

This is going to land us in one of three
places. Jail, hospital, or... The trunk

of the car we borrowed.

That's right, Mom.

Well, we had split up to take out
Buddy's putt and stuff out in Chula

see what he was working on when he said
he was working late.

See, Mr. Crumlin's got this great
security guy.

Oh, the locksmith is on his way. It
shouldn't be more than a few minutes.

The burglar's still... It's funny you
should bring that up, Mom.

A .J. was carrying those.

We're making real progress on this case,
Mrs. K.

Well, our preliminary surveillance
indicates that your husband definitely

something to hide.

How do we know that?

Well,

just trust me, we know.

Well, I think we're looking at hidden
assets here, but that's probably just

tip of the berg.

Oh, yeah, we'll stay on it.

You don't have to say that.

We know.

Well, hell, your family.

Us too.

Yeah.

Bye -bye.

Well, she's real... She's real grateful,
A .J. She says she'll

cover the medical and everything.

Yeah. Of course, that'll have to come
out of the settlement.

Hang in there, all right?

I mean, I figure a few more days and
we'll crack this thing.

Probably catch him cheating with some
redhead. We'll be able to cover off the

old bank account.

By this time next week, Bud Crum will be
coming in here just begging to... Hiya,

boys. Uncle Buddy.

How nice to see you.

What can we do for you? Great to see
you, boy. Hey, Dave, I only pulled me a

micro.

I want to hire you fellows.

Edie's been cheating on me.

She just ripped off our joint bank
account for five grand, and I need your

I want a divorce.

Well, we'd love to help you out, bud,
but I think there's a little bit of a

conflict of interest here. I mean, we
are working for Edie.

Well, you guys are the only dicks I
know.

I mean, you know, investigators.

Anyway, we've both got the same lawyer.

Why? We love Sid.

This blind justice hole here was his
idea.

Ted, I just can't imagine him opening up
my life to some shyster that we don't

even know.

God, will you hear some of this stuff?

Well, Sid will clue you in. He's
expecting your call.

I don't know, bud. I just don't feel
right about this.

I've always thought of you kids as the
sons I never had.

You have four sons.

They're all wimps.

Well, they're not bad boys. It's just
that I remember watching you fellas grow

up and thinking how lucky your folks
were.

Remember when I used to let you play in
the warehouse, huh?

AJ, remember that Pop Warner game when
your mother was sick with the flu, your

uncle was out of town, you thought you
were all alone out there in the field?

You made that great run with only three
seconds left on the clock, and who was

waiting for you in the end zone?

Your Uncle Bud.

Conflict of interest waiver?

Well, Edie, you'll have to sign it, too.

Oh, no problem. She's a great gal.

I mean, she was a great gal.

Thank you for agreeing to see me here,
Dr. Ashfield. I'm sorry, Bud couldn't

make it, Edie.

There's so much you two need to say to
each other.

After all these years, what's left to
say?

Goodbye and good riddance.

You won't always feel the grief and
anger you're feeling now, Edie. No

what you say, Bud is an important part
of your life and always will be. You two

are wonderful, decent people who've
chosen to go off in two unique

As I told you at the beginning of our
counseling, my job is keeping people

together. I hate this divorce, too.

But sometimes people need to separate in
order to live healthy, emotional lives.

It doesn't mean you're a failure.

You're right, Dr. Ashfield. It's just so
upsetting.

This is the weirdest divorce case we've
ever handled.

Shaving up to be a real dogfight.

Potts calling the kettle black. They're
both accusing each other of cheating and

stealing. I think they're both wrong.

I mean, my instinct tells me there's
more to this than meets the eye.

By the way, is that healing?

Honey, this is the best cheesecake
you've ever made. It's wonderful.

Have some.

No, thank you.

Divorce cases play havoc with my
appetite.

Poor Edie hasn't eaten in a week.

Ah, not according to these pictures.

These are the photographs of her.

Having lunch al fresco.

Oh, you're not going to tell me.

Okay, Mom.

What do you know that we don't know? Who
this man is. He's a marriage counselor.

Edie is still seeing him.

So?

So it must be that she's still trying to
make it work. Bud, too.

Mom, each of them has hired us to spy on
the other.

I mean, they're loading their guns to
take them into court. Now, the sound of

hammer cocking is not part of the ritual
mating dance. Look, Mom, there are only

two grounds for divorce in the state of
California.

Insanity and irreconcilable differences.
They qualify on both counts. They don't

need us. I think they're two kids trying
to scare each other, and you two are

the boogeymen.

Oh, she's got those Mary Worth eyes
again. The divorce is final in one week,

they're about to make the biggest
mistake of their lives.

Mom,

I don't care what your little plan is.

We are not going to allow it to
interfere with our professional ethics.

I wouldn't think of it.

All I was going to suggest was that you
really do your job. Don't pussyfoot

around just because they're friends.
They're clients, and each of them is

you to win.

You've got to show them divorce is for
keeps, expose the cruelty of the

violate their privacy.

Be so sleazy that these two silly people
will begin to hate you for what you're

doing to them and then finally realize
that they still love each other.

So what do you guys think?

How slimy can you guys get?

Mom.

Well, I suppose we really put our minds
to it.

That's the spirit.

To my sons, the dirtiest, sleaziest, low
-life detectives in San Diego.

I'll drink to that.

You know, I'm looking at this thing as a
challenge.

I mean, think about it.

We get to do every horrible, nasty thing
we've ever wanted to do on a case, but

we were always too ethical to try.

And all with our dear mother's blessing.

And all in the name of love.

I mean, you think about it that way, you
can really get into this thing.

Rick, for you, operating like that is
merely a short stroll from the left

to the right. I'm sorry to say I'm
having a little trouble getting into it.

he comes.

What do you got?

Well, nothing for you. We're working for
Aunt Evie today.

Go get used to that.

Yeah, oh, listen.

If at any time during the day or night
you think you've lost us, don't worry

about it.

We're pretty good at this.

Have a nice day.

The boys are really on top of things.

I'm getting almost hourly reports on
their surveillance of Bud.

It's very interesting, actually.

There are things about Bud that I didn't
even know.

He feeds the pigeons in Potter's Square
on his lunch hour. Can you imagine?

I thought he hated animals.

Probably some chippy he's seeing on the
side must have a cat.

What was that, Fifi?

There it is again.

What do you mean, a wiretap?

They do that even in divorce cases?

I see.

Good. That means they'll be doing it to
him, too.

Yeah. AJ and Rick are good. That's why I
hired them.

Fine. Yeah, I'll see you later. Bye.

Hi, Miss Kay. Hope you don't mind. It's
a standard procedure.

You'll get a full report on everything
we get from Bud's Garbage.

You have to wait till Friday, though.

They don't come by his place till then.

Well, sir?

Please, sir.

I'm in big trouble here.

I had to pull in off the freeway. I had
a blowout. It must have been a piece of

glass or something.

Well, go in the office there and call
the auto club. My secretary will help

Thank you, sir, but you see, I am late
for a modeling appointment, and I need

the money real bad.

You wouldn't happen to be going downtown
now, would you?

All right, come on. Thank you, sir,
thank you. You are a lifesaver. You

know how much I really do appreciate
this.

Okay, thank you.

Say, what are you doing there?

Rick's indoor lighting. It is just
beautiful.

Go. Okay, take care, Uncle Bud. You have
a nice day.

Bye -bye.

I don't know. What about... I'm

sorry, but this wouldn't go

through, Mrs. Crowman.

Well, that's ridiculous.

I paid our latest bill in full only last
week.

It must be your computer. No, it's not
their computer. It's your credit.

Everything's frozen.

Hi, Aunt Edie. Yeah, see, it's all part
of the mechanism.

We had to notify all the credit agencies
that you all were in the middle of a

real nasty divorce.

It's going to be inconvenient for a
while, but you just avoid undue

pay in cash. Who knows, after the dust
settles, your credit might be twice as

good.

Probably not.

Listen, if you talk to Mom, would you
tell her we can't make dinner tomorrow?

Yeah, we've got a lot to do. We've got
to get ready for the big break -in over

at Buddy's place.

Take it easy, Mr. K.

Bye -bye, Aunt Edie.

I got to tell you, Thin, freezing Edie's
credit was the perfect touch.

Yeah, you should have seen her face.

And here she is out shopping for
something elegant to wear to court,

we've seen this before, that false high.

Taking away those credit cards is like
cutting their engines 30 ,000 feet. Just

nose -dive. Yeah, I think, you know,
without undue relish, what my brother is

trying to say here is that we feel the
Cromans are pretty close to giving up.

Yeah.

said that you were very close to Bud
Needy.

You don't seem particularly happy about
this.

Oh, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. As a
friend, I am.

I've been telling them all along that
this divorce is ridiculous.

But as a professional, I'm concerned
that we may be acting somewhat

Well, so was I at first. But when you
consider the lengths that they've gone

to...

You know, to keep everything in the
family, not bringing in outside counsel,

outside investigators. It's as if, you
know, it's as if they're crying out to

their friends to stop them.

Well, I'm an attorney, Mr. Simon, not a
psychologist.

However, very early on, I recommended
them to the best marriage counselor in

town.

I'm not sure he'd agree with us,
however.

Uh, what?

He's for the divorce?

No, he's for whatever's best for Bud and
Edie.

I think we should honor that and let
them make their own decision.

Well, so do we. We feel confident that
they'll make the right decision.

Now that they've had a taste of the
brutality, it should bring them back to

their senses.

No, no police.

Edie, this is not just some juvenile
prank.

I just can't believe that he would do
such a thing.

In all the years of our marriage, he
never even raised his voice, let alone a

fist. Well, divorce does strange things
to people.

Makes them sort of mutate.

Believe me, I've seen a lot of mutants.

Well, there's a thin line between love
and hate.

You cross that line, you generally break
the law.

At least let us talk to our friend
downtown, okay?

We'll pull some prints and determine if
this actually was Bud.

No burglar would mutilate these.

He knew this was my favorite.

It's funny.

He bought it for me on one of his
business trips.

I bet he had some flue to model it for.

Look, Mrs. Kay, I think maybe, at least
for the time being, you ought to stay

someplace else.

The guest bed's already turned down.

Life and death. You know how much it
costs to do all this stuff?

Sixty bucks an hour to suck the rug.
That's six grand. And I put a wanted

yesterday tag on the prints. We're
talking $8 ,500 here. Just sign it to

room. It's for a worthy cause.

Yeah, you getting paid is a worthy
cause. You still owe me $200.

You didn't get the cheese?

I thought it was for Christmas.

No, I still owe you on that.

Twenty tubes of mail -ordered cheddar
cheese hiding in a jungle of cellophane

grass. Must have had a rocky flight. It
was aged overnight. By the time it got

to me, it was fondue.

Did you keep the receipt?

No, it was the only thing edible.

Bud Krellman is definitely not a size
13.

He was slashing the dresses, not wearing
them.

I'm talking about shoes.

Looks like a marauder has abnormally
large feet.

They took a print off the front door,
and it matches one on the bedroom

Why don't you ask Evie if her cleaning
lady is from the Himalayas?

And plays baseball?

Fiber strands left from the boots are
astroturfed.

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm up
for a round of miniature golf.

I don't like that look, AJ.

What do you... I don't mean his look. I
mean your look. You are definitely not

breaking for small animals today. Being
locked in the trunk of a car does not

endear you to the creature who put you
there.

Twenty years ago, we were playing the
course here.

Now we're bugging the place.

Never could get past that frog hole.

I still don't believe Uncle Bud's a
psycho.

He hired us, didn't he?

Good point.

Why send Bigfoot over to Evie's place
just to rip up some dresses? I mean,

not going to look good in court.

Well, we'll find out soon enough.

Oh, Phoebe's made the bug.

If not, he should be calling the police.

Or Bud Croman.

Oh, no.

You didn't get that thing out of the
Death from Above catalog, did you? No,

I quit ordering from them after I had to
send back those water purification

tablets.

You know, the ones that came in the
little tins that were sealed with the

warfare stickers?

Doctor's Exchange.

It's Mr. Larson again.

I've been trying to reach Dr.

Ashfield all day.

Very important.

I'll have to take your phone number
again, Mr. Larson. The doctor is on call

I'll have to see if I can... He's got
the number.

That's interesting.

Does it break in and he calls a doctor
instead of the police?

Well, I know what's happening.

Hello, is this Dr.

Ashfield's service?

Dr. John Ashfield, heart surgeon.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Gee, I must have the wrong Ashfield.

What kind of a doctor is your Ashfield?

A psychologist.

What kind?

Oh, you mean like a marriage counselor?

No, no, thank you. I really think I need
a heart specialist.

how late it is. We're going to get some
answers before somebody, most likely us,

gets killed. Wait a minute, wait a
minute. Why don't we just wait until in

morning and get Bud in the same room?
Maybe that'll shake something loose.

Because I can't sleep until I find out
who's doing what to whom and why and

where and when.

What?

You heard me.

At the end of six innings, Mary Worth
four, Smith and Wesson, nothing.

Well, did we all sleep well?

First good night's sleep I've had in a
month.

Well, I guess you guys worked everything
out, huh?

We sure did. And we have you boys to
thank for it.

Well, as the immortal Wordsworth said,
the child is father of the man.

Well, I can't imagine a bridge game
without the two of you. I'm glad you

to get back together.

Oh, no, we're still going through with
the divorce.

Yeah, this way, though, it'll be
amicable.

Uncontested on both sides.

See, Rick and A .J. convinced us that we
were being so childish.

Divorce is not something you win.

It's something that two friends agree
upon.

That's right.

So where were you, you kids?

Well, we could start with an
explanation.

Buddy says he didn't tear up your
dresses.

Edie says he didn't take the $5 ,000 out
of your checking account.

Don't you see what's going on?

Well, it's just a lot of hard feelings
blown out of proportion.

By whom?

See, what I think we got here is your
classic range war deal.

Two cattle ranchers live side by side
for years.

A few minor disagreements, you know,
like maybe somebody leaves the top off

the toothpaste.

Or the checkbook doesn't balance because
you forgot to write down last week's

facial. No biggies until one day Brian
Donlevy rides into town, the guy from

railroad, and he wants to put his
railroad right across both of their

So to fan the flames, he poisons a well.

And all of a sudden the barbed wire goes
up, the rifles come out.

Mr. K's got a neckline that plunges all
the way to the floor.

Somebody wants us divorced more than you
guys.

I think it's important to find out why.

The boys are right.

They should stay on the case at least
until you work out a settlement.

All right.

But don't try to change our minds.

We just want you to ride shotgun on this
thing right down to the end.

So, whom do you point the shotgun at
first?

Well, I don't know how much good this is
going to do, but we'll be there.

All right.

Yeah.

Come on.

Rick, I'm telling you, I'm no good at
this. You will be great at it. Remember

all the fights we used to have?

Yeah, but this isn't fun. of somebody.
Well, what about the time you plonked me

with a wine bottle at the bowl of rum?
There were hundreds of people around

there. Yeah, but everybody's used to it
there. It's the thing with this guy. He

is a marriage counselor. That's heavier
than a hockey racket. Oh, it is. Yes, it

is. Gee.

Hi. Hi.

Oh, you must be the McDonald's. That's
right. I'm old McDonald's. My old lady.

How long is this going to take? I'm on
my lunch hour.

Uh, yeah.

Dr. Ashford will be right with you.

How will you be paying? Through the
nose, I guess. Why don't you ask Vera?

the one with the problem.

Wally's boss said the company will pick
it up.

Wally's a high steel worker.

When he's sober.

Yes, Doctor, the McDonald's are here.

Okay. You can go right in. Where?

Right through that door.

You sure my wife hasn't called?

No, I'm sorry, sir.

Story of my marriage.

Would you like to have a drink this
evening?

Like hell I got a drinking problem. I'd
knock down ten of these boys and still

walk a high beam.

I think all Mrs. McDonald is trying to
say is that she cares for you and is

concerned for your health.

Yeah.

And why in hell did she come at me with
a potato peeler during the Bears game?

That's a lie.

It was a cheese grater. And I only
winged him because I was throwing with

left. My right arm was still so sore
from... Well, I really don't want to

about it. There you go. There you go.
That there is just exactly what I'm

talking about. That's what you call a
latent tendency, isn't it?

Latent? She's latent, right? I didn't
think I was a latent that first night

you begged me. I begged you?

This little girl threw herself so hard
at the old scout here, she nearly broke

her nose.

you want to see something broken, I'll
show you something broken, buddy boy.

smart with me.

This is McDonald.

Always picking a fight. Shirley, will
you come in here, please?

Yes, doctor.

Big talk.

Real big talk. Good luck. I'll show you
an animal. Come on. You want some more?

Yes, of course. I think I need to take a
pill.

Stay with her.

I'm about to shoot her, Doc.

I'm telling you, those are the guys.

They broke in and bugged the office.

I ran a sweep this morning.

Go what?

They're supposed to be harassing the
Cromans. They did the same thing to

phone. Look, that's not what we agreed
to.

This is a high -risk job now.

Now listen, when this is all over,
you're going to get a bonus.

I want $50 ,000 today or I'm out.

Why does a marriage counselor need
income tax records for the last 10

mean, why does he feel the need to
establish their income?

New kind of therapy?

Yeah, called gaslighting.

Look at these loan papers. Poor Bud.

He thinks he owns his business free and
clear.

Well, he's going to be one surprised man
when he finds out everything he's got

is in hock to this bank.

And this bank, and this bank, and this
bank.

Yeah, our good doctor keeps the crow and
sparring around while the lawyer gets

power of attorney.

Takes out huge loans in their name.

This.

Do you suppose Bud signed all these
without even looking at them?

Or do you suppose Coble even bothered
with that?

I mean, not that it makes any
difference. They're all notarized. He's

paper chain made out of steel.

Yeah, and Coble keeps the power of
attorney until the divorce is final. By

he could be anywhere.

Not if Bud and Edie reconcile before
then.

They'd find out what he was up to before
he was ready.

Well, then we have to look for a way to
speed things up.

A weak link.

No need.

Is that Larson?

Looks like somebody shot a hole in one.

You want to fish him out?

I'd probably keep better in there.

We just had to stretch this out for a
few more days.

You couldn't have given him enough time
for that?

Well, we can't take any chances with
Rick and A .J. Simon getting so close.

I had to do it while Bud Krellman was
still around, so he'd take the blame.

That's another problem.

Are we still going to be able to go
through with the rest of the plan?

Well, I didn't say it was going to be
around for very long.

I'm sure they were held up.

Well, Rick sounded like they were on to
something, all right. But he wouldn't

talk on the phone.

Well, you never know who's listening,
bud.

Yeah. I hope those boys are all right.
If anything's happened to them because

us.

Dr. Ashfield, what a surprise. Did the
boys call you, too?

Sid, what the hell's going on?

Dr. Ashfield, what are you doing here?

I'm afraid I've got some bad news for
all of you.

Sid, put that gun away. You know Bud's a
black belt.

What?

That bridge at Buddy's Putt and stuff
sure brings back some grisly memories.

Another murder?

No, worse.

Betty Murphy threw my championship ring
at the enchanted frog.

Drained a moat and everything.

Found four of the rings, but mine must
have been sucked out to see.

Town, memories are made of this, but
could we get back to the homicide at

What have we got on the victim?

Okay, we have Eric Larson, a .k .a. Phil
Bateman, a .k .a. Don Packer, a .k .a.

Howard Combs, a .k .a. All right, so the
guy likes to dress up a lot. What does

he do when he's out on the town?

All right, hear this.

Grand theft auto, burglary, extortion,
possession of stolen bank money, more

burglary, more extortion.

And then he became a security guard.

Well, how does a guy like that get
bonded?

Probably fit the height requirement.

All right, let's get moving. You're
going to have to shake some judge out of

rack and get a warrant.

The problem is the lawyer is a dancer,
but I bet we can sweat a full confession

out of this marriage. Wait a minute.
What do you think this is, divorce

I mean, if Bud's signatures have been
notarized, this is Edie's problem, not

mine.

Down.

They used Bud's company to take out
loans from a dozen different banks at

all in Bud's name.

All right, prove it. Well, we can't
right now, but in a couple of days... I

mean, we've got indications of
conspiracy, embezzlement.

Hey, Larson's footprints match up to the
Krellman break -in. That ties him into

their scheme. You won't get a judge out
of bed for that. It's all

circumstantial. All we have here is a
nasty customer who won't be buying any

more state time. You use that many
alias, you're bound to have a lot of

Wendy, so why don't you get back to me
when you have something that'll stand up

and sing? What are we supposed to tell
the Krellmans? Tell them to get a good

night's sleep and to get a new lawyer.

Would you have Nixon drain that moat?

And tell him to look inside that
enchanted frog statue.

You never know, the killer could have
dropped lighter, keys.

Championship ring. Championship ring,
that's good. Bring everything you find

me.

Bud, you've never been able to sell any
of this stuff, but I have, about a month

ago, in fact, with a little help from
the money Edie stole from you.

You know, you two don't have any idea
how successful you've become since you

decided to get a divorce.

Why, your portfolio has diversified.
Just shut up and get on with it, will

Sid? There's nothing wrong with my
informing my client how successful he's

become. You know, Bud, you've got a
great reputation. There wasn't a bank

went to that wasn't willing to lend far
more than your assets are worth. In

fact, there was this one fellow who
said, well, if he's willing to throw in

house as collateral, it's okay with me.

Oh, no, not the house.

Edie, if you're that attached to it, you
can start haunting it tonight.

So you're going to kill us?

I know two men who can figure out the
one who ends up with the money is the

who did it.

Well, I'm counting on that.

They'll find deposit receipts belonging
to Bud's bank account in the Bahamas. Of

course, there's no way of knowing
there's only $400 in that account.

enough, Sid.

Divorce turns people into such monsters,
don't you think?

I've seen it before.

I'll bet you have. The only winner in a
divorce case is the lawyer.

Bud, Edie Anybody home?

I could get away with this if Bud can't
testify.

It's possible Coble and Asher will just
lock him up somewhere long enough to get

out of town.

We can't afford any more wrong guesses.

I bet anything on the Crowman house or
Bud's apartment or the offices.

The cops there at the miniature golf
course, they can't do anything there.

Well, maybe they're not looking for a
place connected with the Crowmans. I

maybe they just went someplace where
there wouldn't be any witnesses.

Let's go to Bud's fireplace shop.

Now don't prolong this. We only need
enough time to get out of here.

Can't hear a damn thing outside this
building. They don't build them like

anymore.

Can either one of you reach my left
-hand pants pocket?

What are you talking about?

The car keys.

Bud, there are a lot of things in this
room, but I don't see a car.

Try and get the key. I opened a pair of
these cuffs with it once.

Which way do you want to go in?

The same way we did when we were kids.

All right, but slow and careful. These
guys are amateurs.

If we startle them, they might start
shooting. If we don't, they may start

shooting.

That's teamwork.

You two used to be a good team together.

If I had it all to do over again, I'd
have never started this damn divorce.

Me too.

Honey, I love you.

The honeymoon's going to be over before
it starts.

You'll get back to work.

Good. Now they'll all go up in flames
together.

One minute.

Two. One.

Now!

Let's get out of here. No.

There are five people in there who know
everything.

We're going to kill our mother, A .J.

They weren't just threatening to do it.
They were really going to do it. Yeah,

with gasoline.

Any spark can set it off.

Good point.

I never knew you fed

pigeons in the park. Well, it's a nice
way to unwind during the lunch hour.

You think maybe I could join you
sometime?

Why, sure.

You know, Edie.

I think this calls for a celebration.

How's a weekend in the Isle of Sound?

Remember that charming little hotel in
Tahiti? The one with lava walls.

What is wrong?

Is it romantic?

The weather here is beautiful, and we're
having

the most wonderful time in Tahiti, even
though we had that... Horrible fight on

the way to the airport, and Bud got on a
later flight.

But we're talking again, and tonight we
might even stay at the same

hotel.

Oh, nice.

Just a couple of lovebirds, and it's all
because of you boys.

Hope you enjoy the bonus we've enclosed.

Two lifetime passes to putt and stuff.

Before we left, we told everybody in our
family counseling group about your

wonderful work. Should mean lots of new
business for you. It's the least we

could do. AJ, stop this elevator.