All language subtitles for Simon & Simon s04e19 The Mickey Mouse Mob

So how much are they blackmailing you
for? My business with you is strictly

private. I want you to find my ex -wife
and daughter.

Remember those, uh, strangers from out
of town? We're here now.

Can we do this without mayhem?

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Is it too late for me to be your father?
There's a lot more to being a father

than just planting the seed! Relax, you
guys. We don't go around just

indiscriminately executing people. I
mean, we do it from time to time. What

that?

I bought you a new blue three -piece for
tonight. Shirt, shorts, it's all

waiting for you in room 210 at the
hotel.

You'll be there by seven.

George, you think we're ever gonna live
through this?

Oh, that's not the point.

Getting you elected president of this
union is the point.

I'm a practical man. Life after is a
philosophical question. It's none of my

business.

Look, I'm going over to the hotel. I
gotta check the banquet set up.

If you don't stop them, the waiters put
out the apple pie when they're setting

the table. Get some rest.

It's in the schedule. 410 to 520. See
you down there. All right.

Bye -bye.

Oh, perfect.

Dan!

Can you give me a lift?

The rental car won't start.

It's a dead battery or something. I
don't need this.

Here, take mine.

I'll get a cab.

Are you sure?

Yeah, go on. You got work to do.

Listen, I want a hold of press
conference.

Contingency plans anyway. Say, Friday.

Should be no problem. We'll squeeze it
in somewhere. Standard release? No, no,

no. Not standard. I'll fill you in on it
later.

You have the energy for an original
thought?

I'm not working you hard enough. Get out
of here.

Okay, we'll call you in a couple of
weeks and set up another time.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

Okay,

so on our way we'll stop by and search
the house for weapons. On our way to

what?

Hey!

Would you mind telling me what is so
important that you feel compelled to

my calendar from the 5th to the 9th?

When lady luck blows you a kiss.

Go with it.

Congratulations, Simo family.

It's close enough.

Look, the grand sweepstakes prize
campaign. They mail out millions of

things. You have to sit in a hotel room
until you buy a condo. It's Vegas. It's

free. Once we get there, we'll figure
out a way to dodge the slides.

I think you should have looked at the
map. I know where Vegas is. Mm -hmm.

This isn't Caesar's Palace.

What? This is Caesar Rosenberg's Arroyo
Estate.

Only half a tank away from the bustling
downtown metropolis of Las Vegas. It's

damn near in Utah, Rick.

I already confirmed our reservations.

Mr. Simon?

Yes, I'm A .J. Simon. This is my
nemesis, Rick.

Daniel C. Thacker, National Vice
President.

Ooh, L .D .U .W., big union.

Well, third or fourth largest.

Depends on who's counting.

Weren't you involved in that car bombing
yesterday, the one where the lawyer got

killed? George Flax was killed in my
car.

Now, please, won't you sit down?

Thank you.

Weren't you there?

No, the paper said you were there.

I was supposed to die, not George.

That's police business. That's not why
I'm here. My business with you is

strictly private.

It's about blackmail.

See, my name wasn't always Dan Thacker,
and I... Well, that's why they're

blackmailing me.

Okay, who'd Dan Thacker used to be?

20 years ago, my name was Eddie Blair.

I had a wife, I had a year -old baby
daughter, a 2nd John's commission, and a

Marine Reserve unit.

Anyway, my unit was among the first to
be activated to Vietnam, but I didn't

make the muster.

I lit out for Canada, and I...

Left my family behind. It's not a very
pretty story, is it? We've heard worse.

A lot of guys make that decision.

Why didn't Eddie Blair not take his
family with him?

Well, he was going to.

But a year went by, he changed his name
to Dan Thacker, got a job, joined

the union. All of a sudden, 20 years
went by, and he found himself the

international vice president.

So how much are they blackmailing you?
George Flax was my campaign manager.

I suppose the blackmailers think the
rank and file don't want to draft Dodger

their president.

What do you think?

I don't care.

I won't pay blackmail even if I could.

What I'm going to do is hold a press
conference in a few days. I'm going to

it out.

I might shine it up a bit.

Where do we come in?

I want you to find my ex -wife and
daughter. I want you to tell them where

now, who I am, and why.

You know, see if there's anything they
need.

But more importantly, I want to see if
my daughter will let me try to explain

her who I am.

Got any leads?

Friends? Relatives?

Her maiden name was Sandra Jefferson.

A friend of hers gave me the last number
he had on her, but it's ten years old.

Local?

There's no problems. What are the
chances that the, uh...

The blackmail attempt and the car
bombing are tied together.

I can't make the connection.

You don't blackmail somebody and then
kill them before the payoff.

There's got to be another reason.

How long is your list of enemies?

Too long.

Buy one.

Uh, so we're here to see Andercheck.

Not a chance.

Oh, good.

Wasn't sure we had the right address.

Uh, would you please tell her that it's
a private family matter?

You know, her idea of private don't
include you.

Are we?

I'm Mr. Bad. My little friend here is
Mr. Worse. If you two don't bug off,

gonna fold you up along the dotted
lines. Uh, these guys are just leaving,

Mavis.

We're here to discuss something with
Sandra Jefferson.

You related?

Yeah, I'm a daughter.

What's this about?

It's about your father.

He's dead.

My mother and Sid Gretchen, our almost
ever -present family counselor,

Rick and A .J. Simon, private
investigators.

This is...

Rick. Rick, and this is A .J.

Do be nice and make me a drink, Sid.

They're here about dear old Daddy.

Or should I say, my real dear old Daddy.

Drink, gentlemen, as long as Sidney's
up.

Oh, no, not for me, thank you.

Then may I ask how you found me?

We had an old telephone number.

Just a question of hunt and peck.

I changed the phone after his death when
I went back to using my maiden name,

Jefferson. Sandra, don't feel obligated
to explain.

I'd like to know who these men
represent.

Uh, we were retained by your first
husband, who now calls himself

Dan Thacker.

Right. He, uh, he joined a union, rose
through its ranks, and now he is running

for the international presidency of that
union.

Someone's blackmailing him.

They want $100 ,000 from him. Maybe.

I'm sorry it's being dropped on you like
a hammer.

Is he going to pay?

No, no, he's going to hold a press
conference and lay it all out. That's

wanted us to find you, to let you know
what his plans were and see if there was

anything that you needed, but I don't
suppose there is.

That's dirty.

Did he also tell you what really
happened 20 years ago?

How he left me and my one -year -old
daughter with $39 .43.

And we damn near starved.

You go tell Mr.

Dan Thacker.

I don't have to.

They get the message.

Yes, ma 'am. You tell Mr. Thacker I'll
meet with him.

Here. And I'll convince him.

And if he won't...

Then I'll pay his damn blackmail. And
that's the way it's going to be.

Bye.

Thank you.

Johnny Delaporte.

Johnny to bounce. I know.

One minute we're working on a simple
case of desertion, the next minute we're

tangling with a Mickey Mouse mob. And
that woman in there is running us. Well,

that's what they're called.

I like to be called that. At least it's
beginning to make some sense. You know

who favors car bombings for the big kiss
-off, don't you? The Mickey Mouse mob?

They've never been into murder. What do
you think, they ran olive oil?

Tell him he owes me that much.

Well, look, like we told your mom, we'll
try and get him here this afternoon.

No, I want to see him alone.

It's going to have to be afterward.

Fine.

But tonight, I'll come to him.

Um, 7 .30?

We'll tell him.

If that's what he wants, we'll set it
up.

Thank you.

How long were you giving?

Oh, five seconds.

Make it four. Okay.

1 ,001, 1 ,002, 1 ,003, 1

,004.

All right.

Buy you guys a cup of coffee? Sure.

Can we ride in the back like somebody
important?

If you were important, you could.

Who the hell are those two guys?

Hey, look, I don't care what Dan Thacker
does, but right now it's too tricky to

have those two guys sticking their
fingers in the spokes.

If they do, cut them off.

Boy, she is a beauty town.

They have things back here they've never
even heard of in most third world

countries. What is this for?

Mixed ice cream.

Mixed ice cream?

Now, what in the hell do you two guys
have in common with the widow of

Delaporte? Her ex -husband.

Her first ex -husband.

What's your interest?

Oh, rumors and whispers from back east.

The mob is back there, all right.

Not too happy with it. Would you turn
that off, please?

They aren't happy with their West Coast
operation since Johnny Delaporte died.

They're afraid of a takeover bid.

Somebody's trying to unseat Sondra, and
so are we.

That's why I'm watching our place.

I think it's better and better.

First the Mickey Mouse mob, now the real
mob.

Is there any chance that that Union car
bombing and the rest of it are tied

together? Why make that connection?

So far as we know, Delaporte wasn't tied
to that Union or any other. Who's her

ex -husband?

Daniel C. Thacker?

If it turns out that it fits in, we'll
give you all of it. You got any leads?

Well, Dan Thacker is the odds -on
favorite to win the election.

Although we're working on a theory that
someone in the union doesn't want him

to. I'll give you something else to go
on.

Sandra's lawyer is a very sharp item
named Gretchen.

Sidney Gretchen.

Very edgy, very protective.

There might be meat on those bones.

Anything else you hear, I'd like to have
it.

You could be looking at big trouble
here.

A mob war. Power grab.

If you hear of any mysterious strangers
dropping by the Widow Della Ports,

especially one named Agonestes, let me
know.

Just my favorite life.

Would you put that down?

Done all right.

You like that, I'll bet.

Takes you off the hook.

Yeah, I've done all right.

Enough to pay off your blackmail. Nobody
pays any blackmail.

And you are damn sure not going to show
up here like some bad penny after all

these years and humiliate my daughter
and me. I won't have it, Eddie.

Name's Thacker now.

Dan Thacker.

I know what it is. I've known for years.

I'm sure we can all discuss this and
reach some amicable understanding.

What do you mean by knowing all these
years?

You don't think Johnny... Over the
years, I lost a little perspective.

I blame myself too much.

You wouldn't be trying to blackmail me
in some strange way, would you?

Don't be ridiculous.

You know, AJ, there's nothing in our
files that's going to help.

We don't do business with the...

Johnson's about once a year. Well, I'd
be happier if you never had to deal with

organized crime at all.

Well, this isn't helping.

Are you sure it isn't a blood stain?

No, ma 'am, that's wine.

God, jeez. Hey, guys, walk in here
backwards so we can at least think

leaving. Hey, man, what's happening?

Long time no see.

Who's the little lady?

That's our mom.

Oh, wow, man.

That gets a fix on my heart.

How on earth are you wearing all those
rings? Be careful, Mom.

You don't want to get too close to him
or he'll be wearing your rings, too. Go

easy, bud.

I'm a mobile jewelry store, Mama. I deal
in red metal. You see anything you

like?

Oh, that's a pretty one. Don't get so
close.

Check it out, Mama.

Is there any particular reason that
you've slithered in here today?

Advice for a price incorporated,
remember me?

Yeah.

Word has reached my corporate offices
that you are seeking info about one Mr.

Agonista?

Yeah.

Think of me as your favorite charity.

For Agonistes, one of Detroit's favorite
sons, began his career as a tailor.

A tailor in the sense that he could make
a cement vest fit anybody. You with me

so far, man?

Yes. It wasn't long before the boys felt
so good about Mr. Agonistes that they

made him their ace troubleshooter.

When Mr. Agonistes comes to town,
there's trouble.

When he leaves, there isn't any.

I don't know anything about any law
book.

Menjie knows about books.

Menjie must need to deliver books. I
have no time to explain this. Wait, you

can't just go in there. Thank you very
much indeed.

No, no, you don't understand.

You cannot be in here.

Well, if you desire these books on your
desk, that is fine with Menjie. Menjie

has work to do. No, no, no. Not on my
desk.

Hey, hey, hey, Menjie, what are you
doing? Come on, what's the holdup?

Holdup. No, Menjie.

Oh, no.

I'm terribly sorry, but this lady here
for some reason decides... What is going

on in here, lady? I got a job to do,
lady. You got a job to do. Everybody

their job. I can be at the bowl around
by 7 o 'clock tonight. It's the league

playoff final.

Don't give me a hard time. Very much
work to do. Menji, quit now. Take a nap.

No. No, no, Menji. Not here. No. Oh.

Menji, please wake up. Menji, oh.

Will you get me some help, please?

Oh, no. Look, look.

Look, lady, get me some help. Come on.
He did this in the doctor's office at

Chula Vista. Give me some help, all
right? There's something wrong with him.

Please. Yeah, I'll get some boys for
him. Yeah, call a nurse. No, get a

or something.

Well, I've got to hand it to Carlos.

He'll also get us a hundred law books in
short notice.

Oh, look at this.

The Dittman Packing Plant case. That was
mob money, wasn't it? Yep.

Here we go.

At the Delaporte file. Ooh, my elbows.

I'm just gonna grab a fistful.

Why is

this door locked?

Open this up!

Sorry, I must have gotten stuck.

I just called Mr.

Grayson's office in purchasing, and he
hasn't ordered any books.

No books?

No books? That is very fine. Much more
work for Menji.

Now I go take a nap in the truck. I have
had it with this.

Gretchen?

These books are supposed to be for
Gonzales.

Hector Gonzales, Mexican divorce law.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, Menji. No, don't

now. What's this guy going to do with
Spanish law books?

Hey, I got my phone.

A fat lot of good is going to do us.

I mean, Gretchen's no Boy Scout, but
there's nothing in there that's going to

get him disbarred.

That's about right.

And yet he is the lawyer of choice for
the local syndicate.

They've had him on a retainer for the
past 11 years.

Hard not to get painted with that brush.

It's not impossible.

He kept Johnny Delaporte out of jail
through perfectly legal means. He'll

probably do the same thing for Sandra.

I pronounce this food control.

Why are you working double shifts?

Why are you eating plastic food?

Why are bombs going off?

Sandra and Thacker did a good cat fight
and reaffirmed their everlasting dislike

for each other.

They're already hearing the war drums
back east.

You can count on it.

It'll all be over in 24 hours.

I sent Thacker a message that the
blackmailer wants a meeting tonight.

Thacker's not our problem.

Those Simon brothers are.

They barged right in here and pilfered
my files.

They can only prove he's dead.

He didn't know. And Sandra has already
admitted to knowing him.

It'll work.

It's all in here.

Sandra didn't want the public scrutiny
he was going to bring her.

It's a good case.

Good enough so that our friends back
east will cut her loose like that.

They might want to turn a lot of us
loose like that.

I'm starting to think it's going to cost
you more.

Fair enough.

You both get 5 % of the rake as soon as
we own the Mickey Mouse mall.

Fair enough?

You packed?

Always. But why?

Because you're going to have to lay low
for a while until the smoke clears.

You're going to kill Dan Thacker.

So if the East Coast mob has sent their
main troubleshooter out here, the cops

are watching your ex expecting trouble,
then there's likely going to be some. Or

some more.

Yeah, but trying to hit me with a car
bomb, it just doesn't make sense.

I didn't know Sandra was married to
Johnny Delaporte until today.

That makes sense.

We just don't know how. When I figure it
out, my bet is it's going to tie back

into the blackmail. Oh, yeah. The
blackmailer called.

He wants to meet tonight at 8 o 'clock.
Here's the place.

I'd like you two to meet him for me.
It'd be cleaner that way.

And I don't care what Sandra says.

I don't pay blackmail. You tell him
that. And if he doesn't believe it,

him. Okay?

Okay.

We're not going to get rough for you,
though.

Not unless you start something.

When do I get to see my daughter?

7 .30 tonight, your hotel room.

Hello?

Hello.

I'm Mavis.

I go by the last name of Delaport.

I don't know quite what to say.

How about come in? Oh, sorry. Sure,
please.

Um...

Why did you want to see me alone?

I know my mother.

She had a lot of things to say to you. I
just want to make sure I got equal

time.

I don't know why I'm here exactly.

Just to see you without anything going
on around me, I guess.

Is there anything I could say to you
that...

What I mean, is there anything that I...
I could do to make up for how I failed

you?

Yes.

You can listen to a few names my mother
might not have gotten around to calling

you. Like coward.

And rat.

And a poor excuse for a parent.

Yeah, I'd like to say all the things
that one might... All the clichés one

expect to hear in this situation.

Damn it, I felt them long enough.

I'm well aware of that.

Yeah, well, there's a lot more... to
being a father than just planting the

Is it too late for me to be your father?

Yes!

I... I don't know.

Table over there. Second one.

Now, just remember, he's going to be
surprised when he gets close enough to

recognize you.

That's when I'm going to slip in behind
him.

Do it.

Just like a dozen other times, huh?

What's the matter? You want to do it?

No. Get set.

Go on.

I've got five of eight. What have you
got? Five of eight.

You ever stop and think about how weird
blackmailers are?

As opposed to what?

Killers? Bank robbers? No, no, no way
you think about it. Essentially what a

blackmailer does is he steals your
privacy and then he tries to sell it

you.

Since we're in the privacy protection
business, we're sort of natural enemies.

That's nice, Rick.

You can tell that for the blackmailer or
just about for me. Hey.

What is that?

It's a fellow with a gun, AJ.

Thank you, Rick.

Lysandra's bodyguard.

Blackmailer?

Well, either we do or we don't. We do.

Police think putting the streets all
together, they're going to have enough

indict Sandra Delaporte.

I guess he was double -crossing her,
working a little blackmail on his own,

which he didn't know about.

Uh -oh.

Hurry, hurry.

Put your hands on top of your head.

Hi, Susie. It's me.

Friend of yours?

Tell me

something else.

Whatever you want to know.

How many years would you get if I turned
you into the Marines for desertion?

Not an hour, not a day.

It was all fixed a long time ago.

Friendly administration, capable
attorneys, plus a few thousand hours of

community service.

You're just like her, aren't you?

I wanted to hurt you.

I also wanted... to understand you.

That might take a while.

Can we do this without Mayhem?

I wouldn't have it any other way.

My name is Agonistes, but you can call
me sir.

I was wondering if we might have a chat
about Mrs. Delaporte.

Please, sit down.

My colleagues and I are out here from
the Eastern Seaboard making what you

call a careful business assessment.

Take over?

Not necessarily.

We're merely conducting a management
survey, and since you've had recent

dealings with Mrs. Delaporte, well...
You want to know what we know.

Precisely. Well, you, uh... You do know
what they're calling the Delaporte

outfit. Husband.

Nickname's been around for a while, and
Mrs. Delaporte seems like she's pretty

confident. Oh, yeah. She could handle
herself against the ropes.

Oh, how reassuring.

Then you say that there's no need for,
uh...

executive action on our part.

Excuse me.

For one thing, I'm not giving advice to
a syndicate hitman, sir. And for

another... Which often tempers judgment.

So you want our totally objective
assessment.

Of course. Don't kill her.

Don't even think about it.

And now, guys, it's been a full... full
night.

Nice meeting you. Thanks for the advice.

But for what it's worth, I'm not here to
kill anybody.

Oh, good.

I'm just here to see that the Mickey
Mouse's don't start killing each other.

It's bad for them, us, even you.

Good night. Next time, knock.

Please.

I thought you'd be here before now.

Was there a Thacker homicide?

We told him down in the park. We left
Thacker in here 20 minutes before the

murder. With his daughter? Reed Muffle.

He was apparently trying to peddle some
stuff that could tie her into the car

bombing. And blackmailing Thacker?

Maybe, but whoever killed him left all
the blackmail stuff. We decide whether

Mrs. Delaporte lives or dies.

How'd you know that?

Mr. Agonistes asked our opinion.

Yours? Why the hell yours?

We have a very good reputation.

Dan, tell you what.

You give us five, maybe say ten minutes
with our client, and then we will meet

you anywhere you say, give you
everything we've got.

Everything? Everything, absolutely.

See you in about 30 minutes at the Choco
Block.

Well, they don't think she killed him.
There was some stuff left behind that

might incriminate her.

My mother is everything you have to be
to fill the shoes of a guy like Johnny

the Bounce.

But she's not a killer.

We don't think she is.

Just trying to tell you how it's shaping
up.

Mavis, look, I'm... You may be tough
enough to go it alone, but I'm not. I

all the help I can get.

Are you guys gonna stay with it? Yeah,
we're staying with it.

But it's gonna have to be a team effort.

Mavis?

Yeah?

What do you need to know?

Your mother's bodyguards.

The man who was killed and the other
guy.

Who hired them?

My mother's lawyer, Sid Gretchen.

He always handled all the details since
Dad... since Johnny died.

Well, we have to go talk to Lieutenant
Brown down at the station.

We'll get together with you tomorrow and
go over what we know.

Want me to get you a car?

No, I'll be fine.

Good night. Yeah, bye.

Good night.

What was he like?

Teleport.

Johnny?

Johnny really wasn't very bright.

But Mother is.

And Johnny depended on her and her
lawyer for advice.

Tell me one more thing.

What's the real reason you deserted my
mother?

I was against the war in Vietnam, one.
And I didn't want to get shot up or

killed, two. And three.

Your mother and I should have never been
married in the first place.

Well, there are some days that I can't
stand her either.

Sure.

Don't move.

Freeze right there. Real slow.

Put your hands on top of your head.

Up, pretty boy. Come over here. Put your
hands on the van.

Hands on the side of the van.

At no time does this gun leave your
brother's back, cowboy, so nothing's

smarter. All right, all right.

Got a .44 Magnum under the left
shoulder. All right, take it out real

your left hand.

Pass it back to me, butt first.

That's it.

All right. How about you?

357. My right waist.

Oh, yeah.

Okay. Open the van.

Not you. You.

Come on. Right in the middle of his
back.

Climb in there.

Walk, cowboy.

Welcome to the Sandra condominium.
Another Delaporte interest.

I picked them up outside Thacker's,
Hoagie. Hey, put your hands back in your

pocket. My nose itches. You mind?

No. Hey!

Feel better?

It's a lot better, thank you.

What happened to Sandra?

The cops picked her up, took her in. She
was screaming her head off for a

lawyer, so I told her I'd come and look
for you.

Well, we'll see what I can do for her
after we finish up here.

This is never going to work, Gretchen.

The cops aren't going to pin your man's
murder on her.

It's not my man.

She paid him.

The cops think she tried to get Thacker
with a bomb.

Why wouldn't they believe that she'd go
after the blackmailer who was double

-crossing her? Anything to keep it from
going public.

That's not a sure thing.

Well, if the cops turn her loose, the
publicity will ruin her. And if Thacker

goes ahead with the press conference
that we blackmailed him into, all the

better.

You see, you have to understand that
back east, they are very, very nervous

about bad publicity.

And as Saunders' legal counsel, I can
almost make sure that you will be

for the murder of that young union
attorney.

Ah, Agonistes will never buy it.

Nice try, but Agonistes is back in New
Jersey, 3 ,000 miles away.

Wrong.

Agonistes is out here. He's taking a
survey.

As a matter of fact, he talked to us.

He wanted our opinion of Mr. Teleport's
managerial capabilities.

We gave her a triple -A rating.

Triple -A plus?

Odd. He didn't even ask about you. It
was like you didn't even exist.

See, the only thing that Agonistes is
interested in is results.

Good management.

And with you two gone, we can put the
lid back on tight.

Agonistes will like that.

Do it.

Then steal a car and put their bodies in
Lot D at the airport.

I'll call Agonistes and give him a
report.

Mind if I ask you a question first?

Tell me something, fish face.

What was it like to knife your buddy?

The time it takes to shoot me, he's
going to kill your boss.

It's a real nasty hole.

Let him go or I'll shoot.

I don't want to be a bad sport or
anything, but if this Neanderthal shoots

kill me.

Don't do it, Rick.

Don't do it!

Well, West knows the East.

The East and the West Coast agree on one
thing.

You're nowhere.

Both of you get in the car.

Not you two. You're not going anywhere.
Car. I don't understand.

Clearly.

That's why I have a need to explain your
options to you.

Now, we'll go someplace where I can make
it perfectly clear.

Relax, you guys. I have no quarrel with
you.

Besides, people are always giving us a
bad rap.

I mean, we don't go around just
indiscriminately executing people.

I mean, we do it from time to time.

But there's always a good reason.

Like I said, he's got good reputation.

He explains he does a very good job at
it. Oh, yeah.

I think he presented Gretchen with a
choice that wasn't a choice.

So.

Thank you.

Sure. That was the easy part.

I wish I could buy a new start with my
daughter.

You might have to.

Here, please sit down.

Thank you.

How is your mother, other than mad at
you?

Oh, she always lands on her feet.

As I was walking out, she was on the
phone with some big wheel.

Phrases like venture capital and cash
flow.

Did I have anything to do with your
fight?

You were to try.