Original subtitles

Texas. Now I'm in the lead.

Oh, that's mine.

Uh -uh. Yeah, coming out of Greenberg. No.

And it passed the mustache. No, that was not Texas. That was Georgia, and it was

a blue van, and I remember it distinctly.

No, no, no, no, no.

You are stealing my plate.

You know, not even a loaf of cake.

Yeah, that's bargaining.

I didn't know.

Oh, I hate that commercial.

Such a party day.

I'm the one that's in the lead.

Or is it me eating you?

Either way, it's a nameplate, so I get doubles.

Ronnie,

so close.

Go around.

Go around.

You okay?

Yeah.

Oh dear.

Is that the same truck?

I don't think we were supposed to see that.

What in the name?

He must have seen us.

He couldn't have.

She's long gone now. It's just a road hog.

Call this in to the police.

What? Yeah.

We can't pretend that what just happened to us didn't happen to us.

They've got to know about this.

Oh, I don't like it, Ronnie.

I don't like it one bit.

What's it?

I'm beating you?

I don't know.

Okay. All right. All right. All right. We're going to go to a gas station where

they have a phone. Okay?

Okay? We're going to call this in.

All right?

It's going to be okay.

Okay, it'll be okay.

We should stop and see what was going on with that sheet.

And then we can tell the cops all about it.

We got to do it, Marie.

Turning a blind eye is not an option.

Love you, baby.

Ronald. Huh?

Come on. It's okay. All right. It's all right.

Surely you've watched that video so many times, you have it memorized by now.

Yeah, we'll talk.

This really happened.

Somewhere in this area, actually.

Come on, there's a reason those things were unsold.

It's all myths and legends.

Move over.

Nah, this YouTube video's out of date. This was from, what, 20 -plus years ago.

Now, this was... Oh, it's just like Bigfoot, Mothman, Spring Hill Jack,

Chippecabra, or any others.

Yeah, and you'll be meeting fans of all of them by tonight.

I can't believe I let you drag me to this nerd fest.

Yeah?

Blame me this.

Now this is real footage.

Even you can't deny it. I can't even see it.

Ever wonder why those proof videos are always fake and murky, never crystal

clear? It's old.

The Creeper only comes back every 23 years.

And the Earth is flat.

Nazis are camped out on the moon. Elvis lives.

The Apollo landing was fake.

Your precious science doesn't have all the answers.

Your conspiracy theories have no answers.

Y 'all get it wrong all the time.

Copernicus, Aristotle, even... Don't do that.

Don't do that.

Newton, Einstein, Hawking.

It's a big world.

Strange things happen all the time.

Two words.

Occam's razor.

That's why I'm a scientist.

The simplest explanation is most likely to be true.

Well, this is also pretty simple, Brainiac.

All right, the creeper comes back every 23rd spring.

It kills for 23 days.

Then what?

Then it disappears.

I don't know.

Sounds like a love book.

They were a breed of bugs made in a lab to kill mosquitoes.

All they did was mate and die. Complete failure. Now they serve zero purpose.

They have no fun for the twice a year. They appear like a storm blindly chasing

anything away before dying when they come into contact with it.

So, uh, you think the creeper was made in the lab? I think the creeper was made

in your brain. Well, the creeper doesn't mate.

It kills.

That stuff killed almost, what, hundreds, maybe thousands.

Wait, didn't they make a movie out of it? Creepy Creeper or something?

Three, actually.

But none of that is real.

And it was named after a cheesy L .A. cable actor.

Baby, baby, leave!

Baby, I told you that burrito would come out.

You know I suck at tapping.

I'm going to ask her tonight.

Got the ring.

Wish me luck.

I love you, Mom.

Everything hurts, and I'm dying.

Oh.

That good, huh?

Ew. Are you all right?

It's too late for me.

Save yourself.

So, did you take the test yet? I bought it with me, but I think this counts as a

positive. You are always the optimist. Not at all what I meant, and you know

Well, I was trying to hold it till I got there, but I need to tinkle, Taylor.

My soldier spy, I'm going to have to call you back. I'm not hearing this.

Just call me when you get to the hotel, okay?

Oh, make sure that you do not puke on those Air Force wines.

Don't even joke about that.

Lane, when have I ever joked about fashion?

Sam, I swear if you jinx me, I swear to God all.

Lane, I love you, but you're buying me some more shoes.

Fuck you. You look like a belt for the woods.

You bring me to the most charming places.

Remind me why we're here again?

Baby, I can't wait to show you this place.

Are you sure this is where we're supposed to be?

Yeah, we should be close.

Now you know that's where we're going. Really?

Lady Manila, how could you not?

Hey, maybe I should read your palm.

Yeah.

Trust you to find the strangest place to ask for direction.

Ash, look at all that cool stuff.

I don't get it.

Come on, Chase. Nobody's here. Let's go.

Chase, don't touch everything.

I didn't know they had land in this awesome coast.

Anything strike your fancy?

We're looking for this address, but I can't find it on any map.

Oh, it's not on any map.

The satellites are kind of screwed up over our town, I guess.

And we are here.

Just take 68, five miles to south.

And turn left when you see the sign.

Uh, thanks.

No problem.

That'll be $50, please.

$50?

It's antique, honey.

Antique.

Now

you

come back any time you're here.

Oh, and congratulations to you both.

Oh, he doesn't know?

Neither does she.

Interesting.

Okay, this is...

We

have

a tree bearing fruit.

You will be most pleased.

Wow, look at this.

Are we the only ones in this place?

Hey.

Wait there.

I've got another surprise for you.

Chase, where are you going?

Sam, where the hell are you?

What is it?

It's your surprise.

Are you serious?

What are those?

We're gonna cosplay.

You and me.

I brought everything we need.

All you need to do is choose who you want to be. I'm not putting on any of

What?

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it was a stupid idea anyway, so.

I mean, I knew you wouldn't wear some of this stuff. It's tacky anyway, so I

don't even want you to wear it. Maybe I'll wear it.

I don't know.

Can I watch? Go.

Coming to you live from Horror Hound 2021.

I'm Carrie, and I'm here to find the biggest creeper. Hey, Lane.

They're talking about the creeper.

The one in the YouTube clip.

Mom's gonna paint these hoops with blood.

Now that I've satisfied your fanboy fantasies, what are you going to wear?

What? Oh, this.

A t -shirt?

Not just any t -shirt.

This t -shirt. What am I going to do with you?

It's just a bird.

Scared the crap out of me.

Come here.

Let's start going.

It's party time.

I had no idea so many people attended this.

This is the concerto of Carthage.

Yeah, Recycle Killer.

It's like a gathering of jugglers.

Oh, please, you'll have to thank Clampass. Yes, Miss Butterfly.

Thanks, my bony stalker.

I'm pretty sure the correct phrase is, yes.

You should clean your face, hook, line and stoop.

They have Google trying actual killers, and you're honestly okay with that? No.

No, they're not.

It's all just for fun.

What if there's a psycho lurking in the crowd?

How the hell would they know?

Maybe there's no psycho.

There's a bunch of people having fun.

Even big music festivals have a body count. I don't think what it's like

Crowds of people, everyone drinking, partying, cars.

Shopping.

Hey.

Okay, I'll get the drinks.

I'm doing that. Right freaking now. The sign says close.

Shit.

Tate.

You caught yourself there?

It's all right, folks. I got held up preparing for tonight's big show.

Special effects and such.

No big deal.

Three for five.

Pick them from the center.

From here?

From the center.

Center. All right. Cool.

I'm going to stand back and watch me work.

That was close.

I'm going to use my other hand, okay? Baby, you watching?

That's the last one.

You like that?

I've never seen anything like this.

It's because they're all unique.

Each one handmade.

Creeper style.

You ever heard of Creeper?

Don't get him started.

He's like a local legend, right?

Kills hundreds of people every 23 years?

Something like that.

Now

you

try. Me?

Successfully throwing blades at a human target was an art form.

First you find your throwing line.

That's this.

Okay. Now the key to successfully throwing a blade is the distance between

and the target.

Now after you find your throwing line, you're going to take a step back.

And you're going to turn 45 degrees into your left.

Okay, now you're going to step up to that line and throw it just like a

pitch, hard as you can.

What?

How is this related to the creeper?

They say these are some of his favorite toys.

Seems inefficient.

To prolong the hunt.

There is that minor drawback that even if you hit your target, you throw away

your weapon.

You need something else to finish the job.

Or if the creeper throws like Chase, then he would need it.

Oh, she got jokes today.

God damn it. I got it, I got it. Come, come.

Boy Scout.

Let's be prepared.

You guys coming to the big creeper draw?

What's the draw?

Starts just before midnight after the cosplay show on the main stage.

You guys should definitely check it out.

Who knows, you might even win.

You all right there, princess?

Come on, come on.

You all right?

Hey, you're here for the creeper draw, right?

Any idea where Brent is?

Has anybody seen Brent?

Anybody at all?

Did he do the arrow stunt already?

The arrow guy?

We filmed him. We got it on tape, right, Mikey?

Yeah, yeah, it's on tape.

Well, then where the hell is he? I mean, we're supposed to be on stage in five

minutes.

All right.

Brent's going to give us a kick for this.

Listen, Carrie, I'm afraid you're going to have to do this one alone.

I mean, Brent's not here, and it's nearly midnight.

Come on, I'll show you the ropes. It's easy.

Perfect.

Jamie, grab my stuff, please.

What are you going to do? She's going to get out there and say, Oh, can I get

your teeth before I go on? No, you absolutely cannot.

Come on, let's set this up.

We have...

I don't think anybody knew what she was talking about, but okay, I give you

that. It's neat.

And there are other people that believe it, too.

You're loving every single second to thank you, you big nerd.

I prefer biologists.

Oh, yeah.

It's Nuru, baby.

Congratulations right this way.

Just leave here.

There we are.

Okay, just sign there and there.

What are these? Standard release form. We get to use your image forever and

ever. If we're in the universe, we're not liable. If anything goes wrong, the

usual blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But why?

Oh, sorry. I forgot to introduce myself.

I'm Jamie, the producer of her show.

We're coming along to film all this. It's part of our deal with her.

Aileen, we're going to be on TV.

Internet, not TV.

Even better.

Start me up. All right.

Just down there, miss.

In your own time.

Okay. All right, team. Let's go. Let's move it.

Nice to meet you.

Lane, the drooling jerk is Chase, my boyfriend.

How are we going to get there?

Uh, Stu's going to take us there, so follow me.

Follow me?

You better be right about getting us out of there quick, Sean.

Chase, isn't that the guy... Guys, are we really going there in that thing?

Don't worry, he looks a little bit creepy, but he's a sweetheart.

A bit?

Go on, get in.

Hey, you want to get killed by a crazy redneck? Because that's how you get

killed. Come on, you two.

The car's going wild out there. The internet dropped, man.

Well, do something. All right, folks.

We're out of Wi -Fi.

But never fear.

A good DJ never leaves the house without a few vinyls.

What is that?

Hero.

What is that?

Shadow?

I'm not sure.

It looks like Creeper.

Wait, wait, wait.

You mean to tell me you got the Creeper on tape?

You going for this?

Well, a Creeper. It's probably just an asshole in great cosplay.

Or is it?

What's the resolution on that? I need to foretell you why.

See?

Quick, the optics make no difference.

Great.

If that drunk guy turns out to be missing, we might have something.

This is interesting.

Uh, yeah.

So, I guess I like this using cell phones.

Welcome to the Barnabas Family Cemetery.

This was the final resting place for souls back to the 1700s.

The natives believed that this was holy ground back to the dawn of man.

Sacred. But very, very haunted.

I wonder if I can be buried here.

Be careful what you wish for.

Shut up.

What are we doing here again?

Aren't we supposed to go to the haunted house or something?

Yeah.

We walk from here.

What's wrong?

Come on, we gotta get this.

The camera won't work.

I don't know.

No, no, no. I'm going to cut it, pal.

I didn't pay to bring the film crew down to Whistling Dixie for my health.

Now, what do you mean it won't work? It doesn't turn on, won't focus, won't

record, won't fuck itself?

What am I even doing out here?

Now, nobody wants to sound like that guy.

I have got an Emmy, God damn it.

I don't give a fuck about your Emmy. It's not my fault. The camera doesn't

Babe, is everything all right? I don't know.

You tell me.

Is everything all right?

What do you mean?

I know there's something going on there with that blonde bimbo and you.

Honestly, it doesn't bother me. I just find it so interesting.

Oh, come on.

I didn't even notice her.

Really? Austin, bury me here, please. I'm a bimbo.

You want me to give you a cup to catch her drool? I didn't say it like that.

And that's not fair. Lane.

No, really, I love her. She's deep. I get it. Come on.

Hello?

Hey, are you with the festival?

It's me, Michael, the camera guy. Hey, do you have a phone?

I just need a bit of a...

tethering in order to get my stuff online.

Look, I only need it for a bit.

My producer's going to kill me if I don't get this stuff online right now.

Hello?

What are you looking for, you banjo?

Jesus, man! Fuck!

Your face!

Oh, I did pee myself a little. And now we can go!

Where are the others?

Michael! Michael!

Where is that no -good shit the rain's gone to?

It's definitely the last gig I'm working with him.

I'm a YouTuber.

Get me out of here.

It was nothing.

I just wanted to see what was on that video.

Oh.

You're jealous.

I'm not jealous.

You're jealous.

It's cute.

Jealousy is a sign of a weak mind.

Maybe something got him.

Like a big animal?

There are no big animals around here.

Come on, this is Louisiana. There's, like, gators, snakes, and black fucking

bears roaming all around.

They wouldn't come here.

Hey! Hey!

Hey!

Hey, man, stop!

Hey, hey, hey, man, take it easy!

What's going on? Where's he gone?

Stop!

You bitch!

It's okay.

You fucking bear. Bears don't fly.

Calm down, man.

What happened?

We have to go.

We have to go call the police.

What? Call the fucking police!

Something got him.

It's fresh.

Really fresh. Something's got him. He's still out here.

It's, uh... Quick!

Oh, be careful.

It's an old house. You don't know what's in here.

Open up! God damn it!

Hey!

Open up! God damn it!

Hey!

Hey!

They're all yours now. Come on.

Fucking shut!

Come on, you ass...

This is your escape room, huh?

Is this some kind of game you're playing here? Because you can stop the show and

open the door.

We're all very scared with your hillbilly tricks.

Shut your fucking mouth.

Hey! Open up!

Hey!

I didn't sign up for that.

Michael's dead and you all saw it.

Now open that fucking door. What does it do with Lane?

Where is he?

Hey! Calm down.

I don't know, all right?

I wasn't even supposed to be here.

All I was hired to do was scare you up a bit, and that's all.

Hired?

Hired by who?

Giselle.

Manila. She said there's a surprise waiting here for you. A surprise?

I'll show you a fucking surprise.

You tell me where Lane is right now, or I'll stick this thing so far up your ass

you'll taste the fucking metal. Yeah, hillbilly.

Either you take a step fucking back, or I'll blow your fucking brains out!

You didn't have to fire that thing. Next time I do, you won't hear anything

anymore. Okay.

Let's figure this out.

It's an escape room, right?

It's not a fucking escape room.

It's a trap.

And who's the trapper?

Creeper.

Creeper's a fairy tale, son.

I saw it.

You guys are fucking nuts.

Scott, I ain't.

And I'm gonna find her.

We're staying put.

What? Oh, don't tell me.

This interrupts your hectic schedule of country hick incest and intermittent

horse lines.

Fuck you, Hollywood.

Hey! Hey!

I gotta stop working in the team.

So as difficult as I know it is for you, I need to stop being a fucking asshole.

You're stuck with us now.

Put it down.

Put the gun down.

Put the gun down.

Nobody's going anywhere until I find Lane.

Where is this indicator?

But it's not raining.

She's got a beard somewhere.

I'm just going to have to kill it.

Yeah, with a rolling pin.

It won't work.

It's immortal, trust me.

All I hope is it loses interest in our soul.

We're in the hunting cycle.

And how long is that hunting cycle?

It's 23 days.

I'm getting real tense.

Deja vu.

Please!

Please!

Please! Please!

What happened, baby?

We have to get out of here. What happened? We'll get you all.

Anyone who's near me. Baby, you believe me? It's me at once.

Your yard is upstairs.

Let's go.

Let's go!

Everybody stick together.

I got you, I got you, I got you.

On the phone.

The creeper, something is trying to kill him.

Have you been taking drugs, sir?

I'm going to make a fucking stone out of you.

I need you to get some help to the Barnabas house.

I swear to God.

It'll be over here.

Do we risk it or hole up in here?

I won't hunker down.

The police will come. That will slow the creeper down.

Are they?

Well, they're not just going to ignore a 911 call, right?

Oh, my sweet summer child.

I need a fucking doctor.

We're like flies in a spider's web.

They're calling the shots. The only way we end this is to kill it.

Well, your boyfriend said we can't. No.

Not so sure.

I've seen it up close.

How then?

It's old and decrepit.

The stink of death.

But where the hell is it anyway? It's toying with us.

Relax a bit.

We need to trap it.

With what?

sinners now and at the hour of our death amen amen what is this place

It's gone.

So perish.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, fuck.

No, please, Lord.

Not like this.

No, not like this.

Maybe there's something in here that can help us. Maybe, um, information or...

One way or another, we're done running.

Yeah, literally.

I don't understand how this place isn't burnt to the ground.

I've got

to get my left arm.

Careful. You might.

I'm sorry,

man. Get your stirrups.

Who do da?

What the?

Save us!

Baby,

why do you say it was after you?

Chase,

I'm pregnant.

That's why it's after me.

What?

It wants what I've got.

Yes.

I will marry you.

If we ever get out of here alive.

But why the hell would they be feeding this thing?

Look at all this crap.

What is this?

A shrine?

I thought these were stories.

Legends.

But it all seems real.

And what? It has a cult fan club to help feed this thing?

Maybe they want one of us.

What?

We can't fight it.

But we can beat it. Maybe even stop it.

We're on this twisted web right now.

It's time to turn the tables.

We need a plan.

I think I know what we need to do.

Take the baby.

It's life force belongs to you.

Live forever.

Take the baby.

It's life force belongs to you.

Live forever.

Take the baby.

It's life force belongs to you.

like those peepers, bitch!

Thank you.

Yeah.

Gee, first baby,

yeah, those hungry, hungry eyes you give me. Here, best baby,

keep those peepers off of me.

You're creeping while I'm dreaming.

You're praying, but I'm praying.

Keep those hungry eyes off me, because you and me, we could never be.

Gee, first baby.

Yeah, those hungry, hungry eyes give me gibbous, baby.

Keep those creepers off of me.

You lay your spell on me, it's voodoo.

Your hands on my body, baby, it's voodoo.

Creepers, baby.

Yeah, those hungry, hungry eyes give me.

Here, Bill, baby, keep your people off me.

Keepers, baby.

Yeah, the hungry, hungry eyes give me. Here it is, baby.

Keep those peepers off me.

Keep those peepers off me.

Keep those peepers.