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Josh Mullen was terminated
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for abusing company resources
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to make the following action series.
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"Fatal Decision" does
not reflect the views
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or opinions of SCI Technical Manuals.
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- Jack, thank God you're here.
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The survivalist cult has taken over
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the Barbazoo Modeling School.
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- That's not model behavior.
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- They're holding over 20
aspiring fashion models hostage.
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What are your demands?
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We'll make a deal.
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Just release the girls.
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- We can't.
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We need 'em to make a recruitment calendar
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for our survivalist cult.
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I'll tell you what I'll do, though.
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I'll trade you two of them
for one real photo-tographer
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because ain't nobody back
here can get the girls heads
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in the picture!
- Crazy.
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Now we need someone who's both brave
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and has top-notch camera skills.
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Where are we gonna find someone
who fits that description?
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- Why don't you take a shot in the dark?
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I'm Jack Maxwell.
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With me, the camera subtracts 10 pounds.
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"Fatal Decision."
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- Don't hurt us, please.
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We're models.
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- Hello, hello, I'm Jack
Maximo, fashion photographer.
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What are we doing?
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Is it the calendar? What?
- Whoa, hold on
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just a second there.
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How am I supposed to
believe you're a real-life
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photo-tographer and not
some government spy?
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- Did you know that I
shot Teen Vogue Italia?
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Italian teens!
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- I didn't know that.
- Then I walk!
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I'm an artist and I walk.
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- No, no, no. Mr. Maximo, please.
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We'll do whatever you want.
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We just need to get this calendar done.
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- All right.
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I'm sorry. No, this light is garbage.
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This is a garbage light. Throw
it away and get a new one.
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- Where am I supposed
to get some more lights?
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- I don't know. Trade one
of your models for it.
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This one. She's an LL Has Been anyway.
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All right,
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well we got plenty of models here,
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so we'll let one of 'em go
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- And we're ready to go.
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No! I'm sorry, I need a backdrop.
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I need a developing studio. I need music.
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♪ Trading models for
photography equipment ♪
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- And cocaine for my nose!
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- We can't get you no cocaine!
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♪ Cocaine for my nose ♪
- All right.
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Perfect. We're finally ready to begin.
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- Oh! We traded away all our models?
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Oh shit!
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Now we're not gonna ever
get our calendar made.
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Our cult is finished.
- False.
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There's one model left. You.
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Piercing eyes, pocky skin, fishy lips.
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- I guess I could try.
- Try? You will succeed.
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Yes, smile. More neck.
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More neck. Yes, more.
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Yes, smeyes. Smile with the eyes.
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Strength! More, we need more.
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More people. Everyone in.
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Everyone in. Yes.
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A whole cult surviving together.
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Yes, there, good.
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You don't need guns, you're
strong! Throw your guns away.
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Guns, yes, now smile.
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Good, good. All in.
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Oh, this camera.
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I need a stronger camera for strong men.
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Here it is. Yes.
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- What kind of camera is that?
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- Oh, this? It's a cannon.
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Say, "Ah."
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Ah!
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- Good work, Jack.
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- Yeah, guys, I mean, we have the studio
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for a couple more hours,
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but I don't know what we're gonna do
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with all this photo equipment and cocaine.
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