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Josh Mullen was terminated
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for abusing company resources
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to make the following action series.
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"Fatal Decision" does not
reflect the views or opinions
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of SCI Technical Manuals.
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- Avenge, your dead sister,
Jack. Avenge me, Jack.
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My sister!
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What the heck? That ticking woke me up!
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No! A suicide bomb vest!
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Dammit, Jack, you're too good a sleeper.
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- Jack Maxwell, you once
made me look like a fool.
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Now it is my chance to return the favor.
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Perform a one-man variety show
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or it's bye-bye Jackie Boy.
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- But it'll take weeks to
mount that kind of production.
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- Sorry. You're on in 15, Jack.
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- Diction is done with the tip
of the tongue and the teeth.
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I'm Jack Maxwell.
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If you wanna showcase my
talent against my will,
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you've just made a "Fatal Decision."
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I'm great at parties,
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but how the heck am I gonna
host a one-man variety show?
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- Your first routine is juggling.
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- No fair. I wanna rap!
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Hello, I'm Jack Maxwell,
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here to showcase a variety of talents.
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Commander, I didn't see you there.
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Maybe you can get me started
by tossing me those mugs.
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- So good!
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Okay, hot shot. Make 'em
laugh.
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- I'm no comedian.
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Okay, guys, let's address
the elephant in the room.
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Sit, Bobo.
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I am wearing a suicide bomb vest.
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So when I say I don't
want to bomb up here,
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you know I mean it.
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Oh, Mr. Maxwell, corduroy
vest is so last season.
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Why don't you try a bomb
vest? It will look dynamite.
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Dynamite!
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- Boo! Boo!
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Don't clap for him. He's
no Sarah Silverstein.
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- Ladies and germs,
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the man who made the
whole evening possible.
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What curled up your butt and died,
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Alvin, or all three of the
chipmunks?
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- Nothing! Nothing crawled up my butt!
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- Roger.
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- That's right, your old
schoolmate from Westlake High.
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He embarrassed me in front
of the entire school.
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He pulled down my pants,
exposing my underbriefs.
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Hi, you guys. You wanna
play some backgammon?
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- Roger, I pantsed you
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because there was a bee on your shorts
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and I knew you were allergic.
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Wanna play some backgammon?
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- I was saving your life.
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- So you went through all that work
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to embarrass Jack for nothing.
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Your laughter, it's
like the bees!
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- Who wants to hear some freestyle rap?
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♪ Y'all know nothing about Jack Maxwell ♪
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♪ Did you know that he can
tap dance and rap well ♪
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♪ Oh, everyone's like, save me, please ♪
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♪ Well, I will, especially
if you're allergic to bees ♪
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♪ What now? I'll punch your
neck with pinpoint precision ♪
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♪ 'Cause I decide to end your life ♪
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♪ That's a "Fatal Decision" ♪
5016
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