Original subtitles

This is Dale, sweating like a pig, Davis, coming to you live from day two

great Gilroy heat wave. The record -breaking 100 degree temperatures have

it nearly impossible to stay cool, and we've received reports of cows

spontaneously combusting.

An utter tragedy, with temperatures only expected to rise. This reporter's

advice?

Stay inside.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Okay. It's hotter than the devil's armpit out there. But here's the deal.

Luther and I have skated every day for the last six years.

837 weeks to be exact. I'm not going to let the great heat wave of Gilroy stop

our streak. We're going out there.

It's all about being prepared.

Well, guess we're the only ones man enough to skate today.

Let's do it, Luke.

Bro, the wheel's melted.

It's like a marshmallow.

No, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no, not a marshmallow.

Better than a marshmallow.

Wait, don't tell me. Dude, you won't believe what happened. Yes, no, maybe.

Don't forget that I'm a genius. Are you crazy? Someone could be listening to us.

Wait, don't tell me. Not again.

Would you just calm down?

It's only birthday.

And by tomorrow, we'll have everything just fine.

Okay, the sea wave officially set.

I mean, we barely got 20 seconds of skating.

From Nana, the grandma.

Yo, I'm at your crib. I need your help. Call me. That's weird. We should

probably roll over there.

Bro, you got a situation.

You can always dust off for old bikes, though.

We haven't ridden a bike in years.

I still hope you know how.

Are you okay?

Hi, Lucy.

I came over to stay cool, but your AC's no better than mine. It's a straight -up

hoopty.

Well, okay. Well, just sit down. Relax.

Can we get you anything?

You know how I love an iced tea on a hot day like today.

You'd be doing me a solid if you got me some ice at the store.

We'll get right on it. You know, they won't let me anywhere near the place

I'm in my bathing suit. That's dumb. It's not like you're wearing a bikini.

Eddie, what's happening?

Oh, hey, guys.

Sure you're all right?

Just trying to survive this heat, you know. Been sweating like a gallon an

Yeah, we should all drink plenty of fluid.

Uh, Lou?

You just drank my sweat glass.

Thought you were over her.

I don't know, bro.

Luke has his problem. He's always liked Bridget. And sometimes he's cool around

her. Other times he makes these weird animal sounds. He makes dolphin noises,

oinks like a pig, chirps like a bird. You just never know what you're gonna

with the guy.

Is that a baby goat?

I don't know.

Hey, Bridget, I need one big bag of ice for Luther's grandma.

The store was all out for some reason. Oh, we're out too.

Montoya Ice Company is the only place you can get any, and it's super

Is he okay?

Oh, he's fine. He's just getting to him. Come on, bro.

Let's head over to Montoya's Ice Company.

Say goodbye to Bridget.

Was that a baby goat?

I think so.

Ozzy?

What are you doing here?

Hello, gents. I work here.

I'm an assistant ice man.

Pretty cool, huh?

You know, like cool, like ice.

Okay, Dweebus, we just need to mind.

Absolutely. You're just going to need to talk to my boss, Mr. Montoya.

He's the ruler of the cooler. It rhymes.

Come on, Oz. Let's go.

Right this way.

I just ask you, please, not touch the ice.

Mr.

Montoya, nice to finally meet you. I'm Zeke, and this is my associate, Luther.

We've been skateboarding behind your loading docks. And let me guess, you

some ice.

Yes. One small bag would be great.

Here.

Twenty dollars.

20 bucks for one bag? Are you serious?

This would be worth two bucks at the store.

Ah, but the store has no ice.

Only me.

You want the ice?

You'll pay the price.

Not a pun, but a well -timed rhyme.

That's a rip -off.

Fine.

My ice is no longer for sale to you.

Good day.

Oh, Rod.

I got this.

Hey.

The ice is for my nana. Yeah, but she just wanted some ice for her iced tea.

Oh. Oh.

It's for your nana. Yeah.

I don't care if she melts.

Please, chill.

Chill.

Mr. Montoya, first of all, I wouldn't say anything bad about Luther's Nana.

Second of all, this isn't fair.

Fair? Yeah.

Let me tell you something about fair.

When I was young, like you, I spent every summer working for my father.

There was no skateboarding for me.

Only lugging huge blocks of ice while everybody laughed and played.

Well, no one's laughing now.

Because I have all the ice.

But I grow tired of you.

Tati, remove these two.

Montoya's got issues.

Just because that guy's childhood sucked doesn't mean he can take it out on the

rest of us.

No one talks about my Nana like that. Okay, well, we're taking him down.

But how?

I don't know.

Instead of us getting his ice, we could let his ice come get us.

What does that mean?

I don't know, okay? I'm saying words, all right? It's too hot to think.

The stinking AC isn't cutting it. We need like a hundred of these just to

cool.

Roy, you're a genius.

Ice prices rising as fast as the thermostat. Two enterprising young

skateboarders have come up with a plan to beat the heat. And boy, oh boy, is it

a cool one.

Young man, would you tell our viewers what you're doing here? Mr.

Davis, people have donated their ACs so we can create this wall of coolness.

Anybody who can't afford those crazy ice prices can come on down and cool their

buns. Don't mind if I do.

That's the stuff. Oh, baby.

Hey, Montoya, you can charge whatever you want for ice, because we're staying

nice and cool right over here. Yeah, I'll teach you to mess with my Nana.

Hey, Nana, come on down.

Okay, she's coming down.

Move, move, get out of the way.

Second thought, why don't you just stay put?

Okay, gotta go.

Fun's over.

For you.

This is Dale Crushed Ribs Davis passing out.

It's a brutal scene down here, folks.

It's a real slap in the face to all us good citizens who put our trust in those

two harebrained teens.

In fact, I've just made Zeke Falcone and Luther Waffles my jerks of the week.

Yep, that's us.

At least we got these cool t -shirts.

Oh, come on, Luther.

Everybody hates us.

And what's worse is that bus waxer Montoya's still hoarding all the ice.

wish this heat wave would end soon.

I gotta go check on Nana.

Oh, Lucy, this darn heat is too hot to wear my hair.

Oh! Oh, no!

Oh!

Look, Nana, we've had some problems trying to get the ice for your tea.

Lucy, I know.

I saw the news. That Montoya fella's got the whole town ker -doodled.

Nana, I failed you, okay? I failed you bad, and I'm sorry.

Lucy. It's okay.

I've been using these mail -order steaks to cool down.

Bro, she's making head steaks.

Okay, we've got to figure out how to get Montoya to give us some ice.

Do you boys want a steak for dinner?

You know, if Montoya was a kid, we'd just give him an atomic wedgie and he'd

give us the ice. It'd be easy. He's not.

He's an adult.

Adults? I don't understand them. They don't act like normal people.

Oh, I got...

I got a job. Ah, gee, with my mouth closed.

Guy Montoya's really cheesing me off.

Wait a minute, I got it.

Go talk to Eddie, he'll know what to do. I mean, he's an adult.

Kinda.

Eddie?

Eddie.

How you doing, buddy?

Ah.

Not too good, guys.

So hot.

Like a million degrees outside, Eddie. You gotta lose the blanket.

Eddie,

what happened?

I completely sweated out.

But, you know, it happens. I just gotta power through it.

Dude, he's like a human pancake.

Yeah.

Oh, it's gross.

Guys, I'm right here.

Sorry.

Eddie, the reason we came here is we need your advice. There's this guy named

Victor Montoya, and I don't know how to deal with him.

Of course you don't. I grew up with Victor Montoya. He's a bad man, my

Stop.

Wait, you know him, the ice guy?

He's been ripping people off for years.

Rumor has it he even steals the water from Lake Gilroy to make his ice.

What? Yeah.

You want some Coletti advice?

Victor Montoya is a bulletproof businessman.

He has no weak link.

Oh, that's great.

That's just great.

Or maybe he has the weakest link of all.

Stick Spencer has an iron grip.

Here you go.

I loosened it for you.

Ozzie, buddy old pal, we're here to talk about your boss. Is he or is he not

stealing water from Lake Gilroy?

Oh, no, definitely not.

You're making your lying face.

Cut you, face.

All right, here's how it's going to go. If Montoya's not going to give us the

ice, then we're going to take it. And you're going to help us because I am not

going to take no for an answer.

I'm in.

Listen here, string bean. Okay, my nana needs her iced tea, so...

He's in.

I'm in.

Hold it.

Well,

that ends my 16 -hour shift.

You have a good day, sir.

Wait.

I look different. I had a big lunch.

What's that?

What's what?

You're trying to steal my ice?

It wasn't me. It was Deacon Luther.

Put him in the deep breeze.

supposed to be here ten minutes ago with the ice?

So, Gilroy, you're either with me or against me. Because of the pathetic

of a couple of imbecile skateboarders, I now demand six million dollars.

Or I'll melt all of Gilroy's ice.

Enjoy the heat.

It appears the city has no choice but to give in to the evil ice baron's demand.

This is Dale.

Add it up to here. Davis reporting.

This is about more than just frozen water. This is about sticking up for

and Eddie and everybody else in Gilroy who's getting hosed by Montoya. Yeah,

this is about America.

Yeah. Getting apple pie and saying no to underwear.

Not really about that, Liz.

Anyway, we have a new plan now for taking down Montoya. Yeah, no more Mr.

Guy.

Romantogram, sir.

Must have a secret admirer.

I hardly think so.

Who they from?

Why don't you check the cards, sir?

Look behind you, bus waxer.

You. Yeah, I'm taking your eyes.

I was in the bear, did you?

I

think

I got frostbite.

I'm at your service, sir. Oz, all I need you to do is text everyone you know to

get down to ramps.

Why? Just do it.

Take a chill pill.

So, while Luther did everything he could to distract Montoya, Ozzie and I raided

the warehouse.

Somehow, someway, you're going to turn the eyes of the people of Gilroy.

This is foolish.

Was it a good plan? Maybe not.

It was the only one I had.

I mean, how do you deal with a guy who's nothing other than a grown -up bully?

Uh, texts have been sent, sir. Ooh, and if we're making smokehomes, I'll sparkle

fruit. Crocodiles.

In chief brand.

Fortunately for Luther, the plan kicked in just in time.

But all the planning in the world couldn't take into account how Montoya

going to react.

He wasn't a guy who was used to other people getting the best of him.

Especially a couple of kids.

What's going on out here?

Put it down.

Put it down! That's my ice! Put it down!

Who did this?

Who did it?

I did.

Even though Montoya was a grade -A sapsucker, I had a hunch that he wasn't

really evil. And I had a crazy way to find out.

For me, and every other kid in Gilroy, snow on the ground means one thing.

Snowballs.

You're mine!

And that's all he needed. To do something he'd never gotten to do as a

Have a little fun.

Hey!

Looking good, man.

Hey, it's a wonderful life, bro.

Hey, homie.

Way to cool off the hood!

This is Dale Chili Davis reporting to you from a local skate spot that has

turned into a winter wonderland. A touching moment for us all.

Hey, Bridget, someone thought it was a good idea to get you a Romantagram.

Ooh, isn't one of those cute stuffed bears?

Uh,

sort of.

Uh,

Luther?

This is so sweet.