Original subtitles

Yeah.

All right.

Okay. Tasty meat ready in 15 seconds.

This is going to be the best sledge jerky ever, bro.

So, what's that steaming goo, you ask?

Not sure. All we know is it oozed out of the ground a bunch of years ago, and no

one's ever cleaned it up. Lucky for us to have magical jerkifying power.

Oh, yeah.

Nice and crispy.

Oh, I'm getting the car tire, the hint of melted asphalt.

Mmm. Mmm, that's good.

That was Mia. She's on her way.

Great. Cousin's coming to visit you.

Can't wait to see her.

Luke, I know you're still mad about the mascot thing, but you need to let it go.

You know what? No.

You need to let it go, okay? I was born to be Musty the Must Rat, and see, you

came and stole it from under my feet.

It was junior high, they both tried out for the mascot, and Mia got it.

Wait!

Anyway, she moved off to Turlock, but Luther's still bent out of shape about

Of course I'm bent out of shape, okay? I'm mad. I'm heated.

I'm hot.

Okay, I'm hot. I'm hot. I'm real.

I'm hot.

Hot good!

Maybe, don't forget that I'm a genius Are you crazy? Someone could be

to us Wait, don't tell me, not again Would you just calm down?

Look, now remember, just try and be nice to my cousin, okay? She's like a sister

to me.

Except she doesn't put fish in my clothing.

Besides, she's only visiting for a week. Yeah, but I just don't understand why

she has to be such a show -off.

She's not a show -off, bro.

Yeah.

Definitely not a show -off.

Sweet entrance, Mia. I know, right? I live to tumble. How are you? I'm good.

are you? Great.

Luther! Oh, my gosh, I haven't seen you since... Yeah, since when was that, huh?

Seventh grade? Want to see the muster at tryouts?

Knocked over a whole cheerleading pyramid and the whole school freaked

I get the feeling he's still not over that.

Yeah, give him another ten years.

Yeah, we were made for each other.

Knew it ever since our first date when we got fajitas.

I never got fajitas with you.

Hate to correct you, buttercup, but my black book says June 25th got fajitas.

Gave you a 6 .8. The fajitas a 9 .2, Jenna.

My name is Janet, not Jenna.

You sure about that?

Man, looks like I got some bad date data.

Gotta get you fixed up. I remember, I remember.

Well, hello. Oh, if you're not interested, Coach, I'll keep moving.

Okay.

Lewis, you're not doing what I think you're doing, are you?

Mascot tryouts.

I remember you thought you were always good.

At the mini -tramp, right?

All right.

Let's see what you got now.

I'd love to try that. That'd be super fun.

Show off.

You just asked her to do it.

Nice, Mia.

I'll show you what a real mascot does. It's all about hang time. Luke, you

know what you're doing.

Luke,

are you okay?

Booyah. Yo, my friend.

Oh, hey, ladies.

Updating my black book, you know, standard questions, hype.

Wait. Everything you love about me, essay's on the back. Let me know if you

more paper. Yeah.

Why,

yes, female lady. I will rule you.

Hi there.

They call me Kojo.

Play your cards right, they'll be calling you Kojo's lady girl.

Oh, funny, smart, good -looking. I'm what you call the complete package.

out! I think this whole act is hilarious. The cheesy lines, slapping

Oh, my gosh.

You were serious?

Well, I was just playing around.

I can be real. I can be very real.

In fact, I went to sleep with my footie pajamas on last night.

Oh, can't believe I just did.

Cute dorky.

You like hot sauce on your donuts, too?

For real?

I thought I was the only one.

Not now.

Gymnastics for jerks.

Enough. Why can't you just accept that Mia is better than you?

Two reasons.

Reason one, because I don't want to. Reason two, because he crushed my dream.

I thought your dream was to be a professional skateboarder. I mean,

main dream. I do have side dreams, like owning a volcano and captaining a

tugboat. Do you remember that?

Kojo, you're acting weirder than usual, and honestly, I don't want to hear about

it, so you can just... Just cover your ear holes, because I got to tell you,

Kojo is in love!

Kojo, you fall in love more than I change my undies.

That's why today, kid.

Yes, this is true.

I've had my fair share of the ladies, as well as your share.

And your share. But this time is different.

I've met the future, Mrs. Kojo.

Call her Bubbles.

Bubbles? Her real name's Mia.

That's funny. My cousin's name is... Oh, crap cake.

Oh, no, Kojo, not my Mia.

We just had the best date ever.

I was acting lame, but I don't do that no more. I go by the name of Kojo, got

heart beating in slow -mo.

I call you Bubbles.

Deacon Luther called me mister. Girl, you my Mona Lisa, put the frame around

picture.

Watching you chilling on my motorbike.

Don't understand exactly what I'm feeling, but I know it's right.

That was so sweet.

I love your romantic gestures.

Kojo. Usually I don't give two squirts who you date, but my Mia is off -limits.

Julio, I don't think you understand.

Mia is it for me.

Kojo is now a one -lady -woman man.

Wow, I never knew John's a crab.

Yeah, word is he found a bunch of them on the beach after a whale threw him.

Yeah.

Tough one.

Try a bigger whacker. Good idea.

I think my crab left.

Anyway, Mia, listen. I know things have been weird with you and someone since

you got here. Weird? Luke's driving me bananas.

My crab brought!

Whoa! Yeah!

Uh, no, no, no. I was actually talking about...

Kojo. Aw, my snuggle bear?

What did you want to tell me about him?

Mia, he's a player.

No way.

Yeah, you may think you're special to him, but he's dated every girl in town.

And he has a little black book with a lowdown on all of them. Are you serious?

Check this out.

Kojo's black book update.

I'm only telling you this because I really don't want to see you get hurt.

I appreciate you telling me the truth, Zeke.

Guess who? Give you a hint. It rhymes with your huggle bear.

I don't want to talk to you, Kojo.

Huh? Zeke told me everything. You and I are over.

You ruined my life, man.

You scared away my only woman lady.

And now I have...

of my misery.

Kojo, Mia is my cousin. I had to tell her the truth.

Admit it. You are a player.

I mean, look. You got like 40 Lindas in here. Why don't you give one of them a

call? You got these girls categorized by height, shoe size, hair color, and I am

afraid to ask what FYT is. Favorite yoga toppings, man. It's all in the index.

But that was the old me.

I'm going to get Mia back.

Coach, just leave me alone.

I can't.

She's all I think about.

Ain't this delicious crab?

How's my bubble?

I'm not your bubble.

So, why are you making buttons?

I always make buttons when I'm angry, okay? I cry when I'm happy. I whistle

I'm hungry. And I eat cheese when I'm pickled.

I'm complicated.

Oh, that's not good.

Listen, baby, Zeke's wrong about me. I'm going to change math.

Remember when I said I complete you? I meant that.

I know about your black book, Kojo.

What? This whole thing?

It means diddly to me. Diddly, huh?

So you'd get rid of it.

Get rid of it?

Well, see, my black book is more of a history book. You know, a journal of

situations, permutations, and infatuations.

I'll get rid of it.

I'll thought out by ripping out a page.

You're just making a ripping sound with your mouth.

you couldn't do it.

Leave.

Now.

Look, you're my best bro, but ever since Mia came into town, you've been acting

like a grade -A sapsucker.

She's already bummed about Kojo, so do me a favor and give up the muskrat

will ya?

You're right.

Thank you.

It's as good as done.

It's not done.

I had my fingers crossed.

Oh, at least I meant to.

All right, bro, see you later.

Live code your press conference online.

I wonder what he's up to now.

As some of you may know, there is a special lady who has left my life.

Her name is Mia.

She, uh...

She enjoys roasting marshmallows, eating ice cream, and romantic

gestures.

I got one that's going to blow her away.

Today, at 5 p .m., to win back her love, I will go to the spot where we fell in

love and jump the stanky sledge pool.

Any questions?

Cornelius Jonesworth, who are all these people in my garage?

Mom, I'm in the middle of a press conference.

Well, tell everyone to leave. I filled your bubble bath.

She's joking. I don't even take bubble bath.

I am not joking.

Now get in here.

One, two. I got to go.

Hey, what kind of bubble bath do you need?

The sludge pool.

The guy's lost it. If he falls in that thing, you know what's going to happen?

Yeah, I'm not too sure either, but it's not going to be good.

You look like you're stuck in a well.

That's because I'm not.

But I got you here, didn't I?

Okay, here's the deal. You admit that I would have been a better musty than

Mustrat, your nightmare here is over.

But Luther, I want musty fair and square.

Fine.

We'll settle this like mature adults.

Back handspring to the loading dock.

First one there wins.

What's mature about that?

Go!

You are going to be sludge -toasted if you try and jump this thing, and you'll

never get enough speed to clear it, okay? Whatever happens is meant to be.

I love her.

Oh, jeez.

I don't know about you, but hearing the L word makes me cringe, especially from

Kojo. So from here on out, I'm going to do us all a favor and bleep it out.

That's right.

I love her.

Don't you think you're getting a little carried away?

Carried away?

Carried away?

How is this for carried away?

Okay, I did not see that one coming. Throwing his black book into the sludge

pool?

Whoa.

Guess he really does, Mia.

Oh.

You know, you probably should have thrown the black book away when Mia was

Yeah, I realize that now.

But whatever.

Just quit bugging me.

Gotta prepare for my big sludge pool jump.

That ain't good.

Where am I? You're at the

sludge pool and Kojo's about to jump it, okay? But we have to stop him somehow.

Okay, what do I do?

Stall him. Okay.

I'm still digging.

Mia, there's a problem at the sludge pool. You've got to come with me right

I'm kind of busy here, Zeke.

No, I was wrong about Kojo. He really does... I don't believe you.

Trust me.

He got rid of his black book.

Really? Yes, and now he's going to jump the sludge pool to show everyone how

much he cares about you.

Sludge pool?

Oh, no.

Yes, okay, and he's never going to make it, and you're the only one who can talk

him out of it. We have to go.

Okay, let's go.

Tweet dismounts. All right, okay.

Look,

Gojo, you can't jump, all right? I got another game.

See who can eat a carrot sluice, yeah?

Yo, enough of your stupid games, Julio.

His wings are ready to take flight.

At least I hope so.

Go time.

I thought I couldn't live without my black book.

Truth is, I can't live without you, Bubbles. That jump was amazing,

and if you ever do it again, I'll throw you in the sludge myself.

Hey, Kojo, watch out!

Just so you know, that's my move.

Don't do it again.

There's no way he should have cleared the sludge, but he did.

How?

It must have been the power.

Anyway, everything worked out fine.

Oh, except for Luther's obsession with becoming musty muskrat.

Luth, you want to tell me where you got that costume?

Muskrat power!

Oh, yeah, it's my part. Watch out, dog.

Right off the sludge pool. Get them while they're hot.

Sure, these things are safe to eat. Oh, no, these are fine. I've been eating

sludge dogs for years.

Uh -oh.

Sparrow outage.

Uh, move the dogs.

Yeah, I see them.

Uh, no, no, look out!