Original subtitles

For guys like us who skate all day long, we rip through calories like, like guys

who skate all day long.

That's why every few months, we go shrimping. Shrimp is major protein.

I love shrimp so much, I made my very own dipping sauce.

Uncle Luther's Home Style Dipping Sauce.

You just put your own label on it.

Okay, let's check the net.

Hey, you think Tony Hawk catches his own shrimp? Oh, no, he probably just shakes

his fist at the water and the shrimp jump into the boat.

Okay, let's see what we got here.

Soggy pizza box.

Message in a bottle.

Say in a secret.

An old book.

Hey, my third grade math book.

What the heck was that? I don't know. Maybe we hit a rock. You better throw

anchor over.

There's something in the water.

Give me your hand. Luke, don't panic. Give me your hand, bro. Give me your

Don't panic.

Don't panic.

All right, well, put it back.

Okay.

Back in the water.

I'm fine, man. I'm freaked out.

What was that? It's like glass. I'm sure it was nothing, man. Let's get out of

here.

Wait, don't tell me. Dude, you won't believe what happened. Yes, so maybe.

Don't forget that I'm a genius. Are you crazy?

Someone should be listening to us. Wait, don't tell me.

Captured in Kilworth Bay. Yeah. Holy cow, Cud. This is Rejector Bow. Yeah.

We could have been toast.

Six -foot slices of dead bread.

Local boy attack.

Kirby Cheddar? Yeah. Look at that St.

Gilroy Memorial. You want to go see how messed up he is? Yeah.

Yeah, let's go.

Nothing but bull.

Looks like I'm doing my business down at the gas angle.

Again.

A traumatized boy, an angry shark, and a handsome reporter for the story for the

ages. Here's the curvy cheddar.

Excuse me. You boys wouldn't have any information on the victim, would you?

Wait, are we on television?

Dale, if I may jump in.

As two of the best skaters in the area on our way to becoming international

pros, superstar wonder boys, we unfortunately have nothing to report.

Channel 8 rocks!

Is it cool if we hang?

For one minute.

You are a family of friends, right? We don't hate him.

How is he? Well, he hasn't spoken since the accident.

Got a large abrasion on his left.

Butt cheek.

Can we see?

He's kidding. No, no, no, I'm not. You don't need to see. Yes, we need to see.

No, you don't. I need to see. All right, enough.

You two bozos out of here.

What'd he say?

The bloodthirsty shark has been captured alive and is being held

in a holding tank in a... Oh, wait! Here come the local skateboarders. You just

spoke with the shark victim.

Tell us. Is he going to pull through? Is he awake? Does he have insurance?

Did he say anything?

He did say something.

What were the historic words?

He said, uh...

Jump the shark.

Jump the shark. Jump the shark!

The frail victim's last request.

But which of these local skateboarders will jump the ferocious fish?

No, no, I'm allergic to getting eaten alive.

Well, then that leaves only you, Zeke, to heroically honor poor, pathetic Kirby

Cheddar's last request.

Will you jump the shark?

Yeah, okay.

I'm emphatic, yes!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Dale Davis, live from St. Gilroy Memorial.

Shark watch, day one.

All my problems are solved.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Bro,

what were you doing back there? You just volunteered to jump a stinking shark. I

didn't actually volunteer.

I got roped into it. What was I supposed to say? No?

I did.

Okay, so tank's about 25 feet.

I've done 25 feet before.

Sort of.

You could do this, and besides, how big can the shark be, right?

Whoa.

Or may not have just tinkled in my shorts.

According

to

this book, you have a 40 % chance of survival in the ocean and a 1 % chance

survival in a shark tank.

Because, you know, you're, like, trapped in there like a shark snack.

Usually in these situations, Zeke is the brave one. I could clearly see he was

freaked. So I had to be strong.

I had to be his rock.

I had to suck it up.

So can lean on me.

Okay. I'm solid.

Solid as a rock, okay?

Okay.

It'll be okay.

It'll be okay.

Yo,

Zeke. Heard about what you're doing.

That's some serious junk.

If I was you, I'd seriously think about bailing.

Really? It's not all about you.

I'm having a concert here at Don's tonight, female ladies only. So, if you

any hotties, which is very unlikely, give them one of these.

Kojo sings in the key of classy. Watch out!

And since you don't have any brothers and sisters, Monty, I think this would

a golden opportunity for you.

Well, I'd like to be your new brother there, but I have to check with my

parents. I already did.

They're cool.

Oh, well.

Now, as my replacement brother, naturally, I train you. Sure. I didn't

chance to do this with Zeke. He was the lost cause before I was born.

Oh, great.

I'm ready and willing.

Okay. There was a lot of eye contact just then.

Lower your gaze when you talk to me.

Oh, well, uh... Sorry there.

Tony, you have never failed me.

I need help.

I need you to give me strength.

A little privacy here. I'm having my Tony time.

Sorry, Tony.

I'll never do that again.

But look, Kirby, I'm going to tell you a little fairy tale to make you feel

better. There once was a doughy little boy in the hospital.

who made a stupid and dangerous request.

And from that day, everybody hated him.

Leanne.

If you're referring to Zeke jumping the shark, I never said that.

What?

Yes, you did. No, I didn't. I merely said bump the cart.

Wait, what?

You said bump the cart?

You were standing next to my food cart, and I had yet to eat my lime jello. So I

tried to warn you that you were about to pump the cart.

Wait, wait. So you didn't say jump the shark.

This means V's off the hook!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Oh!

Hero. Skater.

Turkey -jerky enthusiast. A very complex young man.

V!

Look, you don't have to do it, okay?

What are you talking about? Okay, look, I misunderstood Kirby, okay, because he

never said it. My bad. But the good news is you don't have to jump the shark.

All right.

That's it. Pack up the cameras. We're going home. Wait, Dale, don't go

Why?

Because I'm still going to jump the shark.

You get that?

V, read my lip, okay? You don't have to jump the shark, period.

All right, now let's just move on with our lives.

Luth, I've been thinking about this, all right? This could be my defining

moment. Your defining moment?

It's what you're remembered by. Like Tony Hawk nailing the 900 at the X

But Tony Hawk, he didn't make it the first time, okay? You have one shot to

the shark.

That's all I need.

Hopefully. Your bathroom duties include the sink, the tub, the toilet.

Who's that?

Well, officially, you won't become my brother till after your shark food.

Hiya there, Zeke.

Monty Wiggins.

Hiya.

Hey, for your information, okay, I'm not going anywhere. So you can tell Johnny

Sunshine over here.

No offense, buddy.

Now, he won't be needed, all right, butt place?

Dream on, pit snipper. Cheese snipper.

Lobster bat.

My bathroom schedule.

Yes, you get two bathroom breaks a day.

If you don't have a large bladder, get one.

Now, I have faith in Zeke, but let's say something goes wrong. Okay, I have a

backup plan.

Amazing backup plan.

I'm going to turn the shark into a vegetarian.

Now, vegetables are not just for sharks. They're for kids also. So kids out

there, eat three to nine helpings every day. Okay? I do. I can't get enough of

it.

That's good corn.

I like it.

Okay.

That's not good.

I just hope it doesn't turn into...

You know what?

The jupes.

No one knows why it's called the jupes.

All I know is it's when a skater's nerves get so bad that you can't do the

simplest cookie -cutter tricks.

I just need to take it easy, get my mind off the thing.

All the female ladies, they want me to be their baby.

They're talking about me.

Thank you, thank you.

Hope all you female ladies are enjoying Kojo after dark.

Now I want to slow it down a little bit, dedicate this next song to a dude who's

risking his buns tomorrow.

We've had our differences over the years, but this one comes from the

Zeke, this is for you.

Much is body hot.

Morning, sis.

Here's your breakfast.

Golly, I hope I got it right.

Okay, let's see.

One poached egg.

Good.

Tastes like whole milk. I prefer skin, but no biggie.

And toast looks a little brownish.

Feel free to zing me back.

Oh, no thanks.

I don't think brothers and sisters should really zing each other.

We're less than one hour away from the big shark jump. You think Zeke is

nervous?

You bet your sweet apples he is.

Okay, my jeeps have gotten worse.

Unexplained wipeout.

Serial mishaps.

Shower shenanigans.

And there's nothing I can do. Nothing any doctor can do. Worst case scenario,

the jupes get so bad that your body goes into total lockdown.

You get so freaked you can't move a muscle. And nobody had it worse than

Gunderson. Right before he was going to drop in at a big vert contest, he froze

solid.

For three years.

For the last time, just go!

Let's just hope it doesn't get that bad.

A great white, three rows of razor -sharp teeth, and a skater trying to

county.

Kojo, the nurse says I'm able to eat solid food now.

May I?

You may have a chip.

No cheese, Cheddar.

So, let me understand you.

You've never zinged anyone?

Mr. Too -Good -For -Singer?

Golly there, Jinder.

I just think we should be nice to all people. Young, old, rich, poor. Are you

trying to make me barf?

Okay, look. Your problems are solved, okay? If you fall into the tank, the

won't eat you.

What are you talking about?

Okay, I've been feeding the shark vegetables and I've turned them into a

vegetarian.

This is you if you were solid meat, okay? Cute little eyes, little hot dog

Got that.

Luther, Zeke.

Okay, anyway.

Watch. You ready?

All of the vegetables have made him angrier.

We forget about that, okay? I have bigger problems.

I've got the Jews.

Wait, how bad?

Gunderson bad? I don't know yet.

Okay, but here's what I want you to do.

You can't let me chicken out, so when you drag me behind the golf cart, if I

don't go, I want you to go, got it?

I think so, yeah. Just do the opposite of whatever I say, okay, no matter what.

Wait, wait, so do the opposite of what you just said right now?

No, it hasn't started yet.

Okay, so wait, wait, it hasn't ended yet.

Just go, no matter what.

Okay, I got it.

Just don't go.

There appears to be a holdup. Just do the opposite.

Is Zeke going to jump, or dare I use the words, weenie out?

Uh, uh, Luke, don't go.

I mean, really, don't go. My shoe's untied, all right?

He said his shoe was untied, okay? I didn't know what to do. I was so

that my brain was all goobly -gopped, and I just played it safe.

What are you doing?

This is it!

I think I can say without any hyperbole, Zeke is the greatest American who's

ever lived.

What's up, guys?

Thanks for coming out.

Well, not bad for a pit sniffer.

Thanks, Ronsticle.

Monty, this is my brother. You can head back to fairy tale land where everyone

talks nice.

Bye -bye, sapsucker.

Whether jumping the shark is going to be my defining moment or not, time will

tell. But it's just nice to know that my friends were there to support me.

Right. So you mean your enemies were there to not support you.

Luther, we're not doing the opposite thing anymore.

Okay.

So we are doing it.

Great.

Well, Kojo, our paths don't cross that often, but I've enjoyed your company,

handsome buddy.

How about you never talk to me ever, and you can have the rest of my nachos?

It's Kojo time.

Come on, girl.

Oh, boy,

Kirby Cheddar, things are looking up.