All language subtitles for westside_s06e03_behold_the_miracle_water

I told you about a job I heard of on the
inside.

What would you say?

Sooner or later, I'm going to nip the
lot of you.

Good luck with that.

We need more work. There is something
coming up as a matter of fact. As long

you don't have a problem with the
importation of a certain white powder.

The occasion is the celebration of my
cancer coming back.

So what happened?

I'm choosing a good time.

Not a long time.

Lani.

Mr. Burt. You get it done?

We got it done.

And how are you feeling?

A bit tired to be going to a funeral.

But happy to be here to do Mrs. Rita's
wishes.

Oh, good.

That's good. But you know I'm watching
you, right?

I can see you're watching me.

And if you step out of line, I'll be all
over you.

Carol, any chance you could come back
later? I'm enjoying the peace and quiet.

Oh, what are you doing?

You know, peace and quiet.

Do you want a drink?

Yeah.

Oh, Rita, let me do it.

Oh, you poor thing, you're in pain.

Where does it hurt?

In the arse.

You've got pain in your arse? Yeah,
lower back, down into the arse.

Oh, that's unexpected.

And would you say you have a heavy aura
when you're in pain?

A heavy aura what?

What the fuck is that?

It's a raw juice.

What happened to the gin and tonic? I've
been reading about cancer fighting

fruit. So if I drink this, the cancer
will fuck off?

Can't hurt.

And it might help with the pain. Because
I'll be so focused on how disgusting it

tastes. I don't know exactly how it
works.

Actually, Carol, the pain isn't from
cancer.

It's from fucking.

Fucking what?

Fucking Ted.

What did Ted do? He fucked me. This
morning.

Gave me a right seeing to. And in the
middle, I pulled something in my back.

And my ass.

Oh. Who knew it would take terminal
cancer to kick our sex drive into

I'm a bit more concerned about your
cancer than your, you know, hump head.

I'm pretty sure cancer isn't sexually
transmitted, which is fortunate for him

considering how much he's getting it in
these days.

Isn't that right, Tiff?

Tiff! Carol.

Ladies.

I'll, uh, see you later.

Now make me a gin and tonic.

Alcohol dulls the pain.

I just don't see why you're getting a
drive.

Because behind the wheel, you're a
liability and a risk to all mankind.

Bullshit.

I can drive blindfolded.

That's what it feels like when you
drive.

Something on your mind, Flarnie?

This doesn't feel good, Wolf.

Drugs isn't who we are.

We're delivery guys, that's all.

We're better than delivery guys.

This is the world we live in, and we
have to evolve.

Hey, if you don't like money, feel free
to fuck off.

I will not abandon my crew. Good to
know.

But I still have my concerns.

Have a fucking hernia for all I care. As
long as you do your fucking job.

A cellmate told me about a job just
waiting to be done. Isn't that the start

every job that turns out very badly?
According to the sky, the job of a

lifetime. The job of legion.

Ben?

Sir, Dwayne recommended this. Who's
Dwayne? A cellmate.

And we mean to trust someone named
Dwayne. If you just listen, okay?

Dwayne.

Okay, so Dwayne told me there's a secret
room under the stage of pom -poms.

What's pom -poms? The shirt club
downtown.

So a secret room under pom -poms. What
treasures await there? No, it's not the

room. The room's just the room. It's
what's through the walls of the room.

but apparently this room, which bugger
all people know about, backs onto the

safety deposit box room of the South
Pacific Vault.

Sounds flash.

And why doesn't Finn's cellmate keep the
job for himself if he thinks it's so

good? Got nicked.

And when he gets out?

Well, he killed a guy for the money, and
then just as I was getting out, he

stabbed the guard with a chisel, so
Dwayne's not getting out soon.

And why should we trust Dwayne?

Well, he's actually a really nice guy.

Yes, but also, before he killed a guy,
he was a security guard at the South

Pacific vault.

So what's the take?

Gold, cash, jewels.

Stuff we can flog off easy.

So, there's a secret room under a strip
club and all we need to do is knock down

a couple of walls and hey -ho, we're set
for life.

That's about the guts of it? Yeah, sure.

I mean, why not?

Oh, Jesus, we haven't even cased the
joint yet.

Already giving it the cold shoulder.

We should at least go and check it out.
That's what gangs do.

Well, are we?

Are we what?

Still a gang.

Because it doesn't really feel like one
anymore.

Yeah, to be honest, I thought we'd kind
of retired from that life.

People like us don't retire from
opportunity.

We're not dead yet, for Pete's sake.

And I, for one, am not going to waste
the rest of my life behind a fucking

Ted, is this about Rita? Or a
distraction from Rita? Because if it is,

understand. It has nothing to do with
that.

This is about an opportunity that once
upon a time we would have jumped all

over.

But if those days are gone, I need to
know.

And I need to know now.

I'm in, Ted. I should hope so, Phineas,
given that it's your job.

What say the rest of you?

Eh?

Harold. Strange man.

What are you doing here?

I want to introduce you to Raymond.

Why? Raymond and I used to work together
as cabin crew.

Raymond is here to help you.

By waiting on me?

Alright, I can live with that.

Carol,

what is Raymond doing?

Relax, I'm semi -professional.

Okay. Can you back the fuck off? No,
Raymond is a Reiki specialist.

He specialises in rakes? No, in healing,
by raking. It's like a fiddling with

your energy thing.

What if I don't want him fiddling with
my energy?

Please, just open your mind and give it
a chance. No, sorry, can you fuck off,

Raymond?

Sorry, Raymond, I thought it might help,
but... Love you heaps!

We were only trying to help. You want to
help? Make bloody dinner so I can fold

the fucking washing. Fine. I will make
bloody dinner. So bloody there. And then

I will fold the fucking washing. So you
can put your feet up. Have a rest from

all the sex you've been having. Which is
giving you such a pain in the ass.

Probably because Ted is sticking.

Have you women got nothing better to
talk about?

No, Ted.

Apparently we haven't. Because one of us
is in denial.

Hell.

It's so nice to be able to help out.

And not just for you, Ted.

I've been missing cooking for a family.

Well, that was great, Carol.

Service to others is very good for the
self -esteem.

That's what they taught you in trolley
dolly school.

I don't know if you've picked up on it,
Rita, but while you two are avoiding the

issue by mating like rabbits, I am
trying to get you. For fuck's sake!

Bert! Good timing. Sorry to interrupt,
mate. No, no, really, not a problem.

Beer? Yeah, sure.

Let me guess.

You're not here to spitball ideas for
the vault job.

I can spitball a few ideas on how you
could do it without me.

For fuck's sake. I've got a legit
business now.

I'm kind of a role model.

What, to Aroha, the niece that your
family dumped on you? Oh, that's just

way of showing they respect me.

My iwi, they, um, well, they believe in
me.

And it's new for me, Ted.

It means a lot.

You know what else means a lot?

History.

Loyalty. I'm not suggesting the gang
hasn't been, isn't important.

And I want to do right by you.

But I've got to look to my own future
now. Yeah, yeah, no, I get it.

Hey, look, this job, it's just as much
for you as it is for me.

There's no pressure to take it any
further. Just come on the recce.

Feel things out.

I don't want to feel it out.

Well, come for fun then.

It's a bloody strip club.

Have a wee look.

So yeah, I've told him where I stand, my
current commitment, all that.

It's a riff getting back into that
stuff.

You know it, I know it, Ted knows it.

We've got a good thing going with this
timeshare deal, and no riff.

No riff.

How is Ted?

Do you think it's right for him to be
taking on something big right now?

Well, I think right now is kind of the
point.

Yeah, I'm just going to tell Ted I feel
for him, but I'm out.

Probably for the best.

You might want to keep that.

The water you washed the spuds in? It's
meant to be good for you.

How? You're meant to administer the
goodness from the water.

I'm sure I heard that potato water is an
old wives' cure.

For warts or something.

Oh. I didn't realise I had warts.

Or something.

For warts and cancer.

Behold the miracle water.

Why do you have to be like this?

Like what?

You might have decided to give up and
fade away, but if your friends want to

turn to potato water to help you, then
they should be allowed to turn to potato

water if they fucking want to, even if
they have no fucking idea.

You are still my best friend, and I love
you.

And I refuse to give up, even if you
have.

When you're gone...

Who else is going to tell me to stop
doing stupid things like trying to cure

cancer with potato water?

You can't just fuck cancer away, Rita.

If you believe in fucking as a cure, you
might as well believe in potato water.

Right, I'll see you, Ted.

Bird.

Fine. Fine, we will have it your way,
Carol. So do I. Drink this fucking water

or bathe in it. What are they doing?

fucking know, do I?

Do I need to know what any of that was?
No.

No, you don't.

Oh, yeah.

She's a beauty.

You should have tried handling her.

Yeah, I'll be handling her right now.

You're a little... So, the job?

Yeah, you keep talking about drugs.

If I could see the car.

This car was impounded by the New
Zealand government because the guy

the car owed a lot of money to the
Inland Revenue Bar.

Take this, motherfucker.

When the Inland Revenue Department
learned of this car heading this way,

were so keen to get their hands on it,
get their money off this guy, that they

whipped it straight off the boat and
into the impound lot.

Didn't even go through customs.

Oh, the drugs are in the car.

Carol seemed pretty wound up.

Pretty wound up in other people's
business, you mean?

Pretty wound up in her best mate.

Popping at clogs.

It's not easy, Rita.

I'm not saying it is. No, but you want
us to pretend otherwise.

Relax, Filani.

You can cry about your morals into big
wads of cash.

Now put it back together.

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

Long story short, not doable.

That, this room, doesn't exist. It's not
on any of the plans.

Doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Not there, Ed.

Yes, the buildings back onto each other,
but it's not on the plans.

Well, it doesn't mean it's not there.

Look, the club and the vault company,
they back onto each other.

Yeah, the buildings do, yes. Okay, so
you must be able to get from one to the

other, right?

Okay, even if they are in some imaginary
world adjacent, the vault, that's some

seriously thick, hardened concrete right
there. Yeah, well, it's a vault, Bilky.

It's not going to be made out of paper.

You can drill through concrete.

We'd be drilling for 12 hours.

And then we'd have to find some fucking
way to not set off whatever alarms are

inside the vault, and which we know
nothing about.

So when you say not doable, what you
really mean is not easy.

Hello,

Piers. Bill Key.

Is Rita here?

Yes. I need to talk to her.

Haven't you talked to her enough?

No.

Rita!

Carol's here.

We should relocate.

Carol, what now?

Crystals? Faith healing?

Chocolate brownies, actually.

And it's only because I care, so you'd
better get used to it.

It's a peace offering or something.

Yes. And no, they're medicinal.

Pot brownies?

Yes.

I caught up with Carlos. Do you remember
Carlos?

I shouldn't.

But I do.

He gave us some cookies and we had
dinner at my mum's house.

You were eating butter off the butter
plate?

It was cheese.

It was butter.

So why have you brought me these now?

Okay, I get that you might choose to
have your head in the sand for the time

being because you'll like that.

But sooner or later reality will hit and
the pain will be real.

And it won't be from shagging.

And I heard that weed is very good at
dealing with it.

And you can put them in your freezer and
have them when you need them.

I didn't mean now. I meant when you're
in pain.

I'm in pain now.

Because of the fucking.

I'm not a doctor.

How the fuck would I know what my pain
is because of?

Cancer. Fucking Ted in the shower.

It's all the same noise to me.

F for you, Carol.

You and I are on this ride together and
you know it.

And now we're talking.

Take the car somewhere and park it for
the cops to find.

Strip the ignition. We don't want them
to know we had a key.

Please, I could do that.

He's already had a job.

Keith will do it. Unless we give it a
paint job. That sounds good. It's part

the deal. The car gets found and goes
back to the impound lot. Now Guy will

discover that he does have the money to
pay for his tax bill after all. And the

car will clear customs and be released
back to him.

And the stuff we took never even
existed.

Gnarly. Solid plan.

Who is this guy? I don't know.

And I don't want to know.

See, Filani?

Nothing bad happened.

Ted, I was hoping to have a word.

Let me guess.

You're out.

Yeah, that's about the gist of it.

If you're looking for something you know
on the side, I can sort you out with

this timeshare stuff.

It's good, honest robbery that you can't
get nicked for.

At least that I think you can.

Thanks, Lifty, but I'd rather slam my
dick repeatedly in a car door than sell

real estate.

Not actually selling real estate?

No, it's timeshare.

Lower than real estate.

Come on, Ted.

Face some reality, why don't you?

Aren't the days of the great
safecrackers over? It's all about drugs

robbery now. The artistry's gone from
crime.

And haven't we all got a bit much to
lose at this point?

A bit much to lose and a bit long in the
tooth.

Can I speak now?

If you feel the need.

So, this job, it turns out it's quite
important to Ted.

For fuck's sake, Lefty, stop being a
wuss.

You make some really valid points,
actually.

Like, we're a team, and teams stick
together.

Or has Nairie taken your other ball?

And they need me.

They'll be lost without me.

If you've lost your bottle, don't have
the spine for it, fine, fuck off then.

We'll do it without you.

Fair enough.

Hey, do you think we should buy some
more sunbeds?

Rent them out? Would be a good side bit.

Tant is very in, and everyone knows the
sun gives you wrinkles and cancer.

Sunbeds. The safe alternative.

Great idea, doll.

Booming track.

Oh, no, I meant... Sorry, did you
think... No, no, no. No, just wandering

around.

Oh, I'm not sure that second brownie was
a good idea.

I loved it.

As an idea and a brownie.

Have you got any snacks?

Why? I'm hungry.

Me too.

What if we go and get some, some what?

Snacks.

That is a brilliant idea.

Chaps. Oh, God.

Our birthday cake.

We need this right now.

Yes, we do.

I don't want to drive, though.

I don't want to drive.

You have to drive.

Why?

Because I've got cancer.

Okay.

Why have we stopped?

It's a traffic jam.

Why are they not moving?

Because the traffic is jammed. Come on,
move along.

Oh, no, don't do that. They'll see us. I
don't bloody care.

Look. Is it that weird kid again?

It's a dairy.

And I think it's within walking
distance.

Oh, God. What?

I can't move.

Oh, no.

Rita, that's not good.

It's the cancer.

Oh, God.

You just bloody take it for granted,
don't you? I mean, I know I've got

and that things are going to crap out
one of these days, but it happens so

Oh, no,

hang on.

It's the seatbelt.

Get in.

All there.

I wondered if you'd try to take
something for yourself.

It's not my thing. I just want my money,
thanks.

Then you have to come with me.

That's not the deal. Look, leave that
iPhone with the highest.

I'd feel a fuckload better if you came
with me.

Still not the deal.

Okay. How about... You want your money,
you come with me to get it.

Bullshit, Bianca.

I think I'm going to stay stoned for the
rest of my life.

Rita, I don't know what I'll do without
you.

Who else is going to tell me when I'm
being a big slut or a daft bitch?

Sounds like you're better off without
me.

Don't say that.

You know, I don't actually think I'm
going to die.

Is that a possibility?

Oh, no. I'm definitely going to die.

We wait.

We get paid.

We move on.

You get caught, keep your mouth shut
about me and my voice. I'm not going to

caught. Fuck off, you coward.

That was quite streetful out there.

It really was.

Detective Solomona.

Rita.

How can we help you?

Carol and I.

Forgive the intrusion, but I'm looking
for Phineas. Is he in trouble?

Not that I know of.

I like to catch up with him from time to
time. That's all.

That is very kind of you.

Remind him I'm still here.

Still interested if he's caught up with
his old friend Valerie lately.

Valerie is long gone. I think you'll
find...

You're welcome to ask him yourself if
you want to wait.

Carol and I are just having some tea and
biscuits.

If you'd like to join us.

Okay.

Don't mind if I do.

Carol, put the kettle on.

The cops were all over it. They fucking
knew.

So what do we do? Get the fuck out of
here for starters.

Where's the car?

I knew it. I knew it.

Cockleberry waiting to be found. Prince?
Wipe clean as.

The cops. They were with Bianca. At the
motel. They turned up like they knew

we'd be there. What motel?

She changed the plan for the handover.

Where's she now?

Last I saw, running away with a big bag
of coke. I'm guessing she's been

arrested. I knew we should never have
done this. Drugs are not our... We don't

need a lecture right now, Filani.

All I know is that this job's flamed
down and we need to get out intact.

Double check that there is nothing left
here to connect us to the car. Anything

to do with her. Yes, boss.

We go home and we go about our lives.
And if anybody asks you anything, we

every fucking thing.

Getting the lay of the land, fellas,
that's all.

No big deal.

It's an hour.

Yeah, there's this mystery room.

Wayne went into the door backstage.

He's down to the room.

Well, the first problem is getting past
the strippers.

They're a worse problem.

What was I talking about?

Cats. Oh, yeah.

No, what was I talking about after cats?

Jesus. No, it definitely wasn't Jesus.

Mrs West, what was in the brownie that I
ate?

You mean what was in the three brownies
that you ate?

I'll have you know that drugging...

A police officer is an offence. Oh, is
it?

Well, it seems like it should be.

On top of possession.

Possession of delicious brownies.

Part delicious brownies.

So you're going to be arrested.

You're going to be in so much trouble
when the police find out.

No way.

Oh, shit.

What was I talking about?

Cats. I love cats.

I don't know about you guys, but I might
hit down cats for a bit. No.

No one run. They thorn.

For us, we deny everything.

You guys know how this works.

I said this would go bad.

What drugs will curse you whether you
take them or not? Shut the fuck up,

Falani. You're not helping.

Helping? I see no helping.

I see her screwed the moment they get
her in the drugs and she starts naming

names. Our names.

We can't control that.

It's what we hang on to is that we did
our job.

Nobody here did anything stupid, right?

We trust each other.

We stick together and we will get
through this. And if you ask me how,

will fucking thump you.

I split up.

Keep a low profile.

Eric, I need you to do something for me.

Look, I don't want to be that guy again.

Okay, so don't be.

Well, then I will.

Ted, I know this is important to you,
and if it could be done, we'll do it,

but... I really don't see you with me.

Why?

Now. Not until I know why.

All right, all right.

Fine.

Well,

fuck me dead.

Happy to if you're up for it, Teddy.

I will make good on all parts of the
offer, though.

It's your place, Iris.

I have a certain interest in it, yes.

But what's your interest in it, Ted?
That's what I'm keen to know.

You and your little gang.

Or should I just guess?

Seeing some dolly birds shake it up
close and personal, like good red

Kiwi bloke.

Teddy boy, I know why you're here, and
it's not to see my girls short and

curlies.

You've heard the story, haven't you?

Heard a lot of stories, Iris.

The one about the strip club with the
secret room under the stage that shares

wall with a vault just waiting to be
raided.

Why do you think I bought this place,
Teddy Boy?

I said, sure, it's a great cash
business, especially the knocking shop

But the story, the money on the other
side of that wall, that was the real

attraction. Was?

I stared at that fucking wall for ages.

I still couldn't see a way to get it
done.

Well, that's a shame.

Until now.

You're an inspiration, Teddy Boy.

Now I can suddenly see possibilities
where there were none before.

What do you say?

Your boys been good for Mum?

I was. I was better. I ate all my
veggies. Veggies for girls. They have,

actually. Go to your room. Now, do not
argue.

Go. I'll be in there to see you soon.

How did you go?

Yeah, good.

No worries.

Mandy?

Wolfie?

Do you want a drink?

Yeah. Yeah, we're good.

We're good.

Nothing to worry about.

Jesus, what was that about?

Iris. Mad one.

Is she a stripper here?

No, of course not. She's not a fucking
stripper here. What's going on?

She owns the place.

And she knows about the vault.

And the room is real.

Okay. And?

And she's offered to partner up on the
job. So the job's possible now.

No, no, no, Finn. The job was always
possible.

Just as long as we team up with an
insane, treacherous cow.

Oh, shit, Lefty, we're thieves.

Very rarely do we work with saints.

So?

We gonna find a way to drill through
that wall?

Take a fucking fortune from that vault?

Or not?

Yeah, okay.

I'm game.

Yeah.

Sure. I guess I can be a rich role model
after this.

Yeah, screw it. I can buy more
timeshares.

Well, let's fucking do this then.

Because we're not fucking dead yet.

The

man

had returned.

Hi, boy.

Carol. Sonia.

Wow, you look so happy.

Super happy.

Are you happy too?

Um, yeah.

Have I missed something?

I've missed you.

Unless you're not talking about our sex
life, which is good.

Why is there a cop passed out on our
bed?

He was tired and he needed a nap.

Are you too high?

Yes, very.

There's a pig in our bed.

Don't worry, Ted.

I'll change the sheets before you two
start rogering all over again.

Carlos. Carlos.

Carlos shits awesome.

Okay, I'm in on this.

It's not going to make me weird and
paranoid, is it? The last time we had

Carlos, we danced till dawn.

Yeah, but real slow.

Jed?

No, fuck it.

Life in this old gang yet?

You're a really good friend, Carol.

Is that what we are now?

No, I meant to read her.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

She seems so happy for someone who's
about to die.

It's the pot.

Potter's fucking awesome.

But mainly it's... It's you.

I

figured

it out.

What?

The vault.

I never had any doubt.

Pass.

How did it go wrong?

What? Oh, hey, Crystal. How you going?

Just thought I'd call and check up on
the old fig cut sender, see you're all

doing swell.

Are you shitting me, Eric? It's the
middle of the night.

Yeah, but you're up, aren't you? You've
got to bathe.

Next time I see you, I'm going to cut
your face.

Okay, fair enough.

Yeah, if I wasn't alone, I'd come over
right now and do it.

Oh, you're on your own?

No, no Puppet Figs? No Bianca?

Are you calling at midnight about my
lessee sister?

Ugh, what the fuck is your deal, you
creepo?

I wasn't. I was interested that they
weren't there.

Do you know where they are? No, Dad left
the house hours ago, didn't say where

he was going, and Bianca had no fucking
clue.

You can't come over, Eric.

Yuck. I don't want you, and Dad will
skin you and give you to me as a purse.

Yeah, that's what he told me.

It'd be like carrying around a large
soft walnut.

Oh.

Oh, God.

What fresh hell is this?

I think it's the fond memory of time
spent with good friends.

Not a bad thing, you know.

I don't know, actually.

I haven't danced like that in a while.

I don't think we've ever danced like the
best.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

I should definitely arrest you.

What?

Wolf.

What? You're a million miles away. I
just said, do you want some more coffee?

No, I'm all right.

Are you sure everything went okay
yesterday?

Hey, Carol.

Wolf, you're good wherever we're.

Well, she did see their figs left
without saying why, and Lizzo Figs

home since before then.

Then she's been arrested.

So then why did he leave the house in
the middle of the night?

What's going on?

Nothing. You're acting like there's
something I need to know. I'm acting

there's nothing you need to know.

And you shouldn't have to say

goodbye. Wonder if this way is how it's
gonna be.

And you shouldn't have to say goodbye.

How did they know, Filani? Huh? About
the car. About the handover.

You were saying what I think you're
saying. Hey, fucking you!

Why were you at the Blomford Lodge
murder inn?

I wasn't. We have witnesses who say you
were.

He'll have plenty of time to reflect on
this one when he's doing 10 to 15.

Come join me.

You know you want to.

Do you trust her not to give you up? I
think Bianca would cut a deal with the

devil if it suited her. Your son is a
dead man walking.