All language subtitles for the_wild_wild_west_s04e10_camera

Thank you.

Oh, Mr. West.

Mr. West.

You're dead.

Who are you and what are you up to?

Give me an answer. Don't mumble.

You're

a

Secret Service agent?

You've got to be kidding.

Colonel Richmond sent me up from
Washington to help you. Help me? Why?

Well, when I saw Mr. Gordon in
Washington, I learned that he would be

some time. I persuaded Colonel Richmond
to send me.

Well, Jeremy Pike has already been
assigned to me.

Well, he said you'd find something for
me.

Did he tell you what case we were
working on?

Yeah, he said you were working on a huge
opium smuggling ring and that you'd

been in a case for some time.

That's right, Mr., um...

Mr. Cranston.

Bosley Cranston.

Did he also tell you that we haven't had
one single solitary lead?

But then just a few hours ago, I spotted
the courier for the ring.

That was the break we needed.

And now he's gone.

He's gone?

Gone.

Thanks for your help, Mr. Cranston.

I'm really sorry, Mr. West. It's my
first field assignment.

If you hadn't told me that, I never
would have guessed.

Well, my work has always been in the
laboratory.

We haven't... Want to find something?

Shouldn't we call a policeman and report
this?

I just don't believe it. Nobody could be
that stupid.

Well, I don't mean to minimize my
mistake in calling to Mr. West when he

following that man, but if you're
certain he's a courier for the smuggling

why don't you just take him into custody
and interrogate him? Because of the

list.

The list?

Somewhere in this town, there's a list
of the smuggling ring's dealers in every

city in the country, and we want to get
our hands on that list before the ring

knows we have it.

Well, tell me how I can help.

You can help by catching the first train
back to Washington.

Oh, yes.

Oh, please, Mr. West. Ever since I
joined the service, I've been after

Richland to let me go into the field.

It's not that I don't enjoy my work in
the laboratory, because scientific

inquiry will always be my first love.

But you wouldn't believe the staggering
amounts of paperwork connected with it.

I just couldn't take it anymore.

Maybe we've been a little too hard on
Cranston.

I'll do anything I can to stay.
Anything.

Just tell me what to do.

Think I've got an idea.

Yes, of course, Cranston, my good man.

Prepare yourself to go to work.

What's all this?

Reports.

Reports? To Washington.

Paperwork, Cranston.

Paperwork. You see, we're behind in our
paperwork.

Oh, you don't by any chance know how to
use one of these, do you?

Excellent.

I hate to bother you, but they are
reports to Washington. Would you mind

out?

Thank you.

Good man.

Well, it's all well and good to put him
to work, but what are we going to do?

We're right back where we started.

Well, maybe not.

Oh?

Took it off the courier.

What would he be doing with half of a
broken poker chip?

Unless... Exactly.

And I know where to find the other half
of that poker chip.

What's all the clucking, Charlie? Half a
poker chip's better than none.

Hey, not so fast, though.

Come with me, please.

My pleasure.

Thank you.

Get out of here!

Better get back to my typing.

Jim, I was worried about you.

Take a look at this.

Shapton's Reflections on Good and Evil,
Volume 1.

First edition published in England in
1575.

Must be extremely valuable.

Almost priceless.

But not to us. It's not worth anything
to us unless we can break the code.

Code?

Take a good look at one of the pages.

You see anything?

Some of the letters are thinly
underlined.

Right. Now, if we put the letters
together, they should spell out the

the addresses of the opium rings dealers
around the country. Should?

But they don't. They don't make any
sense at all. And I think I know why.

The first edition of Shafton's
Reflections was published in two

So, half of the code is in the first
volume, and the second part's in volume

two, wherever that is. For instance, top
of page 29, pleasure is the chief... or

soul good in life.

Now, if you'll notice, the P in the word
pleasure is underlined.

Excuse me, Mr. Pike.

The sentence you quoted isn't on page
29.

What?

It's on page 37.

Have you read this book, Cranston?

No. He's right.

He's right. It's on page 37.

I bet you said you didn't read the book.

Well, I haven't.

Well, not in the accepted sense of the
word. I have flipped through it.

You just flipped through it?

Yes. I have what you might call a
photographic memory. I'm able to look at

page of a book and it becomes indelibly
imprinted on my mind.

Well, that's very interesting, Cranston.

I can't account for it. It's just the
way I am.

Let's see.

You tell me what you read.

Well, wait a minute.

Would you do that again?

Okay.

Are you ready? Mm -hmm.

All right, let's have it.

You want it from the beginning?

Page 22, fourth paragraph from the top.

It was a cold, ominous night when Hiram
Harp arrived at the country estate of

Lord Bushmill.

Rain was threatening, however, Hiram
felt under the circumstances, he did it.

He can actually do it.

It's nothing but a great little parlor
trick.

It's not getting us any closer to volume
two.

Now, my plan is this.

Bosley makes a typewritten copy of the
book.

Then we take a newspaper ad offering the
volume for sale.

And the opium ring sees the ad, realizes
it's their book, and they try and buy

it. And they'll want it so bad they
won't let anybody outbid them.

Then I follow them to the second book.

You see anything wrong in that?

I'll let you know after I try it.

Howdy, friend.

Say, this the place they're going to
hammer down that rare book?

If you're referring to the first edition
of Shafton... That's the one, yeah.

Well, come right on in, Mr... Langham.

Leroy Langham. You can just call me
Longhorn. Most folks do.

Say, who are them jaspers over there?

They're your competitors for the book.

Competitors?

Don't look like they'd be competition
for a sick mule.

This way.

Gentlemen, may I introduce Mr.

Langham of Texas.

How do you know I'm from Texas?

Baron Kiyosai of Japan, bidding for the
Ichi Literary Museum of Tokyo.

Don Carlos de Mendoza y Garcia of
Barcelona, Spain.

And Mr.

Gideon Sticks of San Francisco.

Well, howdy, friend.

My pleasure, Mr. Langham.

I trust we shan't find our friendship
strained when the bidding starts.

Isn't it time, senor?

Well, not until Mr. Langham has had a
chance to examine the volume, Don

As I've already told the others, I'm not
the principal in this sale, only the

agent for the owner.

Now, who's that?

Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to
divulge his identity, but upon

of this volume, I'm sure that you will,
as the others have, find it to be a

genuine first edition of volume one of
Shapton's Reflections on Good and Evil.

Well, I'll just have to take your word
for that.

Back home in Langham, Texas, we figure
on starting a little old library.

This here book will start us off right
nice.

Gentlemen.

If you are ready, we will proceed with
the bidding.

I must remind you first, before I
entertain the first bid...

that nothing less than $20 ,000 will be
accepted.

May I have the first bid?

$21 ,000. Thank you.

$21 ,100.

Can you tell which one is from the opium
ring?

We'll know soon enough.

$22 ,800.

Ah, Don Carlos bids $22 ,800. $22 ,800.

Gracias, senor.

$25 ,000.

$30 ,000.

$31 ,000.

$45 ,000.

$50 ,000.

$51 ,000.

Fifty -five thousand.

Mr. Langham has bid fifty -five
thousand.

Any other bids?

Mr. Sticks.

I'm afraid this is a bit too rich for my
blood and my pocketbook.

All I can bid you, gentlemen, is good
evening.

Good evening, Mr. Sticks.

Thanks for coming.

One down, three to go.

I bid the $70 ,000.

Don Carlos?

Gracias.

I, too, must retire.

Buenas noches, caballeros.

Buenas noches.

And there goes another one.

Seventy -six thousand.

Eighty thousand.

Have a listen.

Glasses.

My principal, the Taiichi Literary
Museum, has authorized me to go as high

$100 ,000.

No higher.

I now enter that bid.

Wes, it's over. The book's been sold.

The Texan.

There's sure going to be some mighty
happy folks back in Langham.

I paid good money for that book.

What tripped the alarm?

Couldn't find anything.

Got them checking the system.

Sticks? That's right. He just attended
the auction to verify that it was the

right book.

He didn't care if Langham, the Baron, or
Don Carlos bought it. He was going to

take it back.

Gideon Sticks. He's in the social
register. He's a patron of the arts. And

also happens to own an export -import
firm, which is undoubtedly the front for

the opium smuggling ring.

Incredible. Well, now you know where
Volume 2 is, why don't you just get a

warrant for Mr. Sticks' arrest?

Oh, no. That's right. You have to have
the book, break the code without the

opium ring knowing it.

We also have to make a copy of volume
two right in Sticks' own library.

Impossible. It would take hours.

Take days.

Even if you did photograph it, you'd
have to get all that equipment in and

without it being discovered.

We have a plan.

I think you ought to be sitting down
when we tell you about it, Cranston.

Yes?

Ah, good evening, my dear fellow. Would
you kindly inform Mr. Sticks that

Captain Cecil Smite, Allenby's second
Earl of Southby, is coming?

Mr. Sticks is no one without an
appointment.

Ah, quite so, quite so. It's a very wise
policy, too, one which we follow

ourselves. We men of position mustn't
make ourselves too accessible, should

However, we have something here which we
feel your employer is a very devoted

art collector might wish to examine.

Come, come, come, my good man. Certainly
there is nothing to be lost by

informing Mr. Sticks of our presence, is
there?

Where is he?

Waiting in the police, sir.

Let him wait.

Excellent, excellent.

Ah, my dear Sticks, good to see you
again, sir.

But perhaps you don't remember.

We met three years ago, I believe it
was, at the Queen's Fusil Air Ball at

Buckingham.

Charming place you have here, utterly
charming.

Cecil Smythe Allen, ma 'am.

Second Earl of South Bay.

Mm -hmm.

I understand you have something to show
me.

Indeed I have, my dear Sticks.

Indeed I have.

Breathtaking, isn't it?

It was once the property of the Dowager
Empress of the Fifth Ming Dynasty.

The central stone is the Burmese star
ruby, the reddest in the world.

Sorry, Mr. West. This is my first
assignment in the field. I'm allergic to

grass.

Swell.

Unfortunately, family fortunes suffered
severe reverses of late.

The cards, the dice, the horse being the
fickle things they are.

Wait here.

Why, that... Look at that.

Paste!

Do you see what I mean?

Luck, just luck.

There are two kinds of luck, Mr.

Allenby, or whatever your name is.
Indeed, indeed.

I'm quite accustomed to taking the bad
along with the good.

My glasses are broken.

If I can't see, I can't read. If I can't
read, I can't photograph the book.

We might as well forget the plan, Mr.
West.

Wait a minute.

What are you going to do?

Nolan plays Gideon Sticks with a fool.

Teach him a little lesson.

Then turn him over to the police.

Now just wait a minute, Sticks.

You know, this doesn't do justice to
your reputation as a sportsman.

Who are you?

Who I am strikes me as being just a
little unimportant right now.

What I am?

I'm a gambler.

A little down on my luck.

I would have expected that my feeble
attempt at deception would have been

nothing more than a minor source of
amusement to you.

Well, I trust the police will be more
amused than I am.

I'm tempted to offer you a proposition,
Sticks.

What proposition?

One game of pool.

The stakes being this.

If you win, your associates can teach me
a lesson, as you put it.

If I win, I'm permitted to walk out of
this house physically unharmed.

I thought as much.

Get rid of him.

Sticks!

Maybe it would be more interesting if we
threw in $5 ,000 as a sort of side bet.

What have you got that could possibly be
worth $5 ,000?

Just myself.

I told you I was a gambler. My life is
collateral for a $5 ,000 loan.

Oh, you can't be serious.

Completely.

All right.

You've got yourself a bet.

Your life against my 5 ,000.

Good.

There you are.

My 5 ,000 against your life.

You break.

Get me a cigar from the library.

That's a scratch.

I hoped you'd at least give me a little
competition.

Good shot.

Time to pay the piper.

Mr. Six? Uh -uh.

No welching.

I wouldn't think of it.

I'd just like to sink one last ball,
even the cue ball.

What for?

Oh, as a last tribute, salute to one who
took the ultimate

gamble and lost.

All right, all right, all right.

It's cost you enough.

Well, come on, come on, come on. Shoot.

Get it over with.

How much longer?

Just a few pages, Mr. West.

Anything wrong, Mr. Stick?

Oh, no. Nothing.

I probably should find a safer place for
these.

What's his name?

E. John Smith.

He died in Hong Kong.

His body's being sent to his family in
Denver.

Denver.

It's the fourth one from Hong Kong in a
month.

Things are booming in Denver, boss.

Well, let's open it up and have a look
at him.

He's a little fellow, isn't he?

Well, the littler they are, the more
stuff we can pack in with them, boss.

All right.

Let's get him down to the train.

Get my carriage, will you? I think I'll
go to the club.

Very well, sir.

One moment, Mr. Sticks.

You're under arrest in the name of the
United States government.

Do you think it's possible that we could
have underestimated Cranston?

Nationwide rage.

Complete success.

All of Gideon Sticks' dealers under
arrest.

Good work.

Congratulations are in order. We
congratulate you. We couldn't have done

without you, Cranston, and we really
mean that.

Well, you're much too generous, Mr.
West.

I think this calls for celebration.

Cranston's all dressed up. What do you
say we go out and find out what this

has to offer in the way of feminine
companionship?

I'm way ahead of you, Mr. Pike.

What do you mean?

Well, I just happen to know three girls
here in San Francisco, the Gaffney

sisters, their old friends of the
family, and three of the most

young ladies I've ever known.

Well, I took the liberty of inviting
them to have dinner with us tonight at

Delmonico's. I think you'll find them
most stimulating, and they can converse

almost any subject with the most amazing
erudition.

I think that's them now.

Can you imagine what those girls look
like if they're friends of

Cranston's? Old family friends.

Who can converse with amazing erudition?

Swell.

What's up? They're waiting for us.

Bosley, Jim and I, we just remembered
that we can't go out tonight.

Well, why not?

Well, it's an urgent message from
Colonel Richmond, and we have to be here

it arrives.

You sure?

Positive.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Well, if you say so.

Good night.

Good night.

You're positive you won't change your
mind?

Well, we'd like to, but we can't. It's
impossible tonight, Cranston.

Okay.

The Gaffney sisters.

Heaven spare us.

Jerry, you were right.

All right.