Original subtitles

We've picked a riveting, exciting location to perform magic.

We're here at the Department of Motor Vehicles.

I'm here to pick up a plate from Midwest.

My name is Rafael Diaz. Oh, sure, sure.

Specialty plate, I think, right?

Yeah, it says faith with a one instead of an I.

Yeah, I think this is it. It says it right here.

Yep, perfect.

All right.

Yep. Good?

Yeah, man. That looks really good.

All right.

This envelope you'll use to return the other plate. Sorry.

That didn't get dented, did it?

Yeah, they make them out of... Sometimes they... Oh.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about that.

That just blew my mind.

Yeah. How does that even happen?

What? Yeah, that's really weird.

Ah, damn.

I think it's just that they're using a cheaper metal and... I mean... You know,

they prep the...

It's just slipping.

So it may still have, the metal might still have a malleability to it.

Is it possible that we just, that there's like a form that you can fill

like get a new plate and we'll just come back at it?

He said that we can like warm it up a little bit and then get it. Are they

moving at all?

Let me try this.

There you go.

Yeah, sorry about that. That's what he said. Oh, I don't want to mess it up

again. Okay, no, no. I wouldn't drive quick today if you're going to put it on

the car. Yeah, I'll let her know. Yeah. Let me go get your other plate.

Okay. You're going to need two plates.

Sorry, I don't have your other plate.

Oh, no, I think this is it, and that should be fine.

Oh, it was just one. Yeah, it was just one. That's cool. Sorry about that. Just

be very careful with it, because it... Those are produced using the Carbonaro

effect.

The only thing I know about the Carbonaro effect is the show that

about it.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what? I think the guy might be named like a... His name is Carbonaro.

No, it's not. It's not.

I think it's with Jim Mulaney.

Maybe it's with Jim Mulaney. I know the show you're talking about. Yeah. Jim

Mulaney hosts the Carbonaro effect.

There you go. I think it's like a hidden camera show, right?

Yes. That's what it is.

I know that show. You're right. Yeah, we're on that show right now.

Dude. You're joking. I'm not joking.

My name is Michael Carbonaro.

You are on my TV show right now, The Carbonaro Effect.

Dude, seriously.

Is the camera hiding up there?

Was that crazy?

Oh, my gosh.

Classy modified?

Sure, sure, sure. Thank you. You want to do modification?

I know it went through the wash.

It went through the wash?

Yeah. Did it mess up the path?

I have no idea. You know there's a path inside?

Oh, no, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's like a little,

you can see the edge is double thick.

Yeah. A police officer has one of these tools as well to open it. Oh.

Okay. So you separate it with this tool.

It actually...

Peels apart.

What? You see that? Yeah.

Yeah. It looks like it's okay. It doesn't look like it got damaged.

And do you know which... Oh, that's a good one. I can see what that is.

Speeding violation, dismissal. Yeah. So if you get pulled over for speeding, you

can tell the officer you have this in your license.

How was I supposed to know I had that in my life? They should have had a form

with it when you had it sent to you. I didn't know that.

So if you're in a rush, just don't worry about it.

For speeds above 10 miles an hour, you can speed.

But he'll take it once it gets used. Like a get -out -of -jail -free card.

Exactly what it is. They make different ones, too, so this is a good one. Most

of them are just, like, free parking violation passes. Are they just random?

They're random, yeah. They had, like, one of them was an accident.

absolving path that shouldn't be i know so if you get pulled over you hand him

your license and just say squeeze that because they'll be able to feel it

inside anyway you want to make that a nice tight fold you just blew my mind

yeah not a lot of people know that they have them Well, no, they don't. Well, I

guess they tell us in the thing, but no one reads that. Yeah, there was one for

going into emergency access lane, riding behind ambulances.

Yeah, you can still feel it in there, and it's good it didn't get ruined.

That is insane.

Yeah. Okay. All right, let me get that form for you. All right.

Okay. Are you in our online system?

Not sure. Here's the starter pack right here. Okay. Just for online

registration. And you're going to want to have a password.

I'll just put it down on my phone just to have it. Yeah, it's always... Like

34Bench18.

34Bench? B -E -N -C -H. B -E -N -C -H18?

Yeah, sure. Okay.

All right, yeah.

Last thing is, may I see that, uh, your registration pack?

That looks a lot like me. Doesn't it?

It looks a lot like me, actually. That looks a lot like you. Even the glasses

are like you. Yeah.

This is our new mascot for Identity Theft.

I'm... That's so weird. This is, uh... What's your name? Joe.

Joe. Oh, right, yeah, Joe. That's his name.

Seriously? Dude.

Yeah, look at this.

That's so weird. I knew it. It's funny because I thought you looked familiar.

Yeah, see, they have... That's, like, super weird.

Yeah, see, look.

In your pack here, they use that face on the registration, and there's the

buttons that it comes with.

That makes sense because, look, it's 34Bench18.

That's your password.

Yeah. So that makes sense. No wonder why I recognize that.

Wait, how did my password get there?

Yeah, they got these magnets.

Is that my license number?

Wait, but how... I don't... I just came up with the password out of nowhere.

Right. So it... How'd that get in the... Because this got printed out before,

and I just now came up with the password.

Right. Right, yeah. See, look, in my wallet I had... They gave us bumper

stickers. It's so funny. Your face is on all of them.

You're probably better off with this. Do you want this? This is funny.

I mean, sure.

Why not?

I actually just got work done on my car, and they fixed the back of it.

I mean, you get what I mean? Because I could have been... That's on my car, my

bumper sticker.

Yeah, that has the password. 3 -4 -Bench -18. Yeah, so it's definitely you.

Out of how many people did I get selected? That's, like, crazy.

All of Chicago.

Yeah, it's literally... Did we have a... Oh, yeah, our poster.

Is that mascot?

Wait, that's actually so crazy.

What really creeps me out is the password, though, because I could have

something totally different with the password, and these things would still

that, the 34 bench, right?

Let me see if I know how to change it. You should probably change your password

now. Somehow I happened to pick the exact password that's everywhere, so,

let's change it. Yeah, let me find out how to undo that. I'll be right back.

Ever buy something and then you need it returned?

I'm your guy.

I'm working the return powder at Cook Brothers.

It's cold out here.

Woo!

Sure,

okay.

All right, you got the original seat.

And on the 11th. Okay, cool.

Was there anything wrong with it?

No.

Oh, sure, sure, sure. No problem.

Yeah. All right, great.

The router.

Yeah. Yeah, it has to be. I understand these things. There's so many different

ones. Yeah.

It has all the pieces in it.

Sometimes

it's

so hard to get these pieces to fit in the boxes. I don't know how they ever

originally fit.

Yeah. Yeah, there's something fitting in there weird.

Oh. Whoa.

Is that real?

What is that?

Oh, my God. Is that a bat? Oh, it's a bat.

Is that real? Yeah.

This happens on these routers.

I'm sorry. Yeah. Okay.

I'm sorry about that.

That was fine.

Yeah. That surprised me like crazy. No, you know what? It's probably some of the

companies set it to like a signal. Uh -huh. That doesn't work with the TV.

Oh, my God. But the bat picks up the signal.

That is so crazy. Yeah. And so you didn't feel that in there when you were

No, I just carried the bag out. Okay. I would check the surrounding area in your

place where you had this plugged in, just under the couch or anywhere that a

might have come into, you know, the immediate area. That is just so crazy.

Yeah. That is insane.

But let me, I'm going to take this. Hold on one second. I'll be right back and

help you out there in a second.

I want to return this. Do you want to return this?

Yeah. Yeah, no problem.

Do you have the receipt?

Yes. Okay.

Here's your receipt. Okay. Thank gosh, right? All right.

Okay, so what did you say? It was just not working? Yeah, it's not working at

all. Like when you plugged it in, it didn't do anything?

Yeah, it's not getting hot, and then it keeps popping up. It won't get hot, and

it keeps popping. Oh.

Sometimes the spring mechanism in there, it's like it just doesn't lock down.

Oh, so it makes it not get hot. Yeah.

And then, oh, you know what?

Sorry.

Funny, it just looks like there's a little, oh, yeah, look at that.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, that's okay. Don't worry about that. Oh, look.

A little piece of toast in there.

That's probably what jammed the thing.

Let's see here.

Oh, there you go.

There's a whole piece of toast in there.

That's what probably got it stuck.

There's a bunch of bread in there.

You know what?

I think that... Did you try and... Maybe you put toast in there and someone else

came in and tried to put bread in there.

I mean, yeah.

The flap opens up and they kind of hide under there.

Why? So then the next person comes in the room, and they're like, oh, I'll

toast. Then their toast doesn't come up, and then the next person comes in.

So how many days did you have this?

I think I had it from last week.

Okay, yeah. You got a lot of people in your family?

No, not a lot.

Somebody likes toast, yeah?

Oh, there's also a strudel. It looks like someone tried to do a strudel.

Yeah, that's a lot.

But they are jammable little monsters. Oh, this one's buttered.

What have we got?

Oh, did someone try and fix it?

Yeah. Yeah, it looks like there's a fork in there.

Maybe someone tried to jam that down. I had no idea.

Were you roommate or something? Yeah.

I don't understand. How could this take that much food?

Well, I mean, they're made for industrial toast, but there's a bagel in

That can jam it if you don't split it first.

So probably somebody... Okay, well, let me just get all that out of here.

One minute.

Once it gets stuck in one of the... There we go.

Because it's stiff, so they're pushing up against each other, and they're kind

of butting up against there, kind of making it harder for the next piece to

released.

This doesn't even look that big.

Yeah, do you want the toast?

No. No?

I know some people make croutons and stuff like that. What are you talking

about? No. No, okay. So do you want to just return it or do you want another

one? Yes. I'm probably going to get another one. All right, let me see if I

grab another one off the shelf and hang here one second.

Hello. How are you doing?

Return. Just a return?

Yes. Okay, you got it.

Calculator here?

Yes. All right.

And this is your receipt?

Yes. Okay.

Scan that.

Yeah.

Scan the back of the package there.

Just didn't need it anymore?

Right. Okay. It's not too many of them. Yeah.

Oops. Sorry.

Did they just drop your receipt?

No, it didn't. No type of way. How?

Oh.

Whoops.

What? I don't know how that happened. Did you get a slot on there? No, there's

no slot on there. It just popped in there. It just popped. You saw it too,

right? Yeah, I dropped it and the thing was.

Wow.

That just freaked me out.

Well, it's like, I think because it's vacuum packed maybe.

It might. So.

I have to scan the back of the receipt, but then I'd have to open it, and then

it'd be an open package.

Really?

Wow.

Okay, I'll use an exempt form.

It's a receipt exemption form, and I can fill that out later. But I'll just put

it with this, this way.

That is crazy.

That is the weirdest thing.

Just bring this up.

Look, look.

Come on.

You've got to be kidding me. I've got to record this.

The receipt.

I don't know where Ken is.

Hold on a minute. I'm going to get my manager. Maybe he knows how to, like,

never seen that happen before.

But it's technically returnable now because there's a return.

Because you have the receipt exemption form.

Well, we can just make sure. Okay, I'll find out. Let me just find out. I'll be

right back. Okay.

I have to record this.

It's not even open. And somehow the receipt is in the packet.

That's not open at all.

That's where she drank from. There's life in there. There's life in there.

Check this out.

Who would have thought there was a beach in Chicago?

We're on the beach in Chicago. This is great.

Oh, hey.

What's your name? Janet.

Hi, Janice. How you doing? Michael. Michael. Nice to meet you. Oh, you

water? Yeah. You got water. You're going to want to have a good sip of that, you

know, make sure you stay hydrated.

What a day, right?

Mm -hmm. Such a nice day.

We're just taking inventory of the rental boat.

Okay. Throwing a coat of wax on them, and then we're getting them packed up

the fall.

And we're just going to give it one coat of wax.

Oh, wow. Look at this.

No, he's dead.

He's dead? Yeah, he'd be moving and clapping at you.

Yeah.

Poor guy.

Yeah. Aw.

You know what happens when these get dried out, though? They attract

Oh, that's good that you moved them.

I'm going to bag them up here. I'll just use my lunch bag.

You sure?

You could, like, wrap them at least, you know, give them a little proper burial

or something. A proper burial?

We're going to dig them down?

Dig a hole?

I would later if you like. Yeah, here, I'll put him inside here. God's animals.

Yeah. There we go. Rest in peace, little guy. Oh, it's already starting to

smell.

Oh, poor guy. He's probably been there.

The sun gets a hold of that.

That'll smell pretty bad.

Yeah, I'll seal it up so the seagulls will get to that. That was cool. I

expect to see that.

Never seen a crab in my life.

Little one. A little one in Florida.

Oh, yeah? And I went to Tampa.

Yeah. They didn't mention before you came here about a lifeguard coming?

No. There's, like, people out here.

I'm going to call them and make sure there isn't supposed to be somebody down

here. All right.

That's my water.

That's my water.

Are you drinking my water?

I don't know who you are.

You can have it.

Excuse me.

Yeah. Are you seriously? Like, for real?

Like, you could take this water. There should be somebody.

She just came up and drank my water. What happened?

She literally walked up, picked up my water, and drank it. She could have it.

Oh, thank you.

Okay. No, no, no. Give it back to her. Wait, tell me what happened? Look it.

walked over, took a sip, literally me telling her, that's my water, excuse me,

that's my water.

Give her back the water.

I mean, she, I don't know what's wrong with her. She's weird.

What the hell is going on?

I have no idea. Take it back. That's so weird. No, what the... Don't let her

take it.

She's weird, dude. She literally walked over... She said nothing?

Thank you.

Did she just do, like, some ritual?

It looked like it.

What the?

What the heck is right?

What the?

What the?

What the? Oh, my. What the?

It just happened, bro.

Hold on a minute. Hold on a second. What the? It just happened.

Oh, my God.

Bro. Now, hold on.

That is.

Oh, my God.

Okay. Okay. Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute.

You want some more water? I ain't drinking that.

Okay, do me a favor.

Stay here.

Keep your eye on her until I get a proper lifeguard. I don't want either of

to be in trouble for this.

Keep your eye on her.

What? There's life in here, bro.

What?

There's life in there. There's life in there. I can't. I can't, bro. I can't.

Wait, what happened? What happened? I have no idea. There's just fishes in

there. That's where she drank from.

She's a... El Diablo.

That is... Brujeria. Brujeria.

Witchcraft. Witchcraft?

Brujeria, bro. Brujeria?

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Como el Diablo. What is she doing?

That is so freaking weird.

She came over, took a sip, and I'm like, excuse me, that's my water.

I've never... Oh, my God!

Oh, my... What the... Did you see that?

Holy... Hey!

Oh, my God. What the... No!

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Como el diablo. What is he doing?

That is so freaking weird.

She came over, took a sip, and I'm like, excuse me, that's my water.

I've never... Oh, my God!

Oh, my... What the... Did you see that? What the... Holy... Hey!

Oh, my God. What the... No!

Oh, my God!

She's a mermaid!

You're a mermaid!

Did you see that?

Look at it! Look at it! She got a tail! She got a tail!

Wait, um...

Is this real?

That's not a real thing. She had feet and now she has a tail.

She didn't bring it in there with her. What do we see? I saw her walk out. She

had legs.

She sold her soul to the devil, bro.

She brought a crab back to life.

She gave us fish.

Yeah.

I know what this is.

Do you know what this is?

This is the Carbonaro effect.

Do you know what the Carbonaro effect is? I've seen that show before.

The show?

You've seen that show? That's all I've seen. Yeah? That's all I know. It's a

hidden camera magic show.

Are you, are you, did you just, am I on camera?

Yes, you're the best.

I'm just, dude.

How did, how did she do, how did she do that?

Magic.

Janice. Janice! I hate you so much!