Original subtitles

Introducing... Come on, you know me.

I've never seen anything like it.

Okay, we are all set.

I have hired some caterer help today to assist me with this grand party that I

haven't... made up what it is yet. What should it be?

What is your name? Kelly. Kelly. Okay, great. Yeah, you can set those right

here. Thanks for grabbing those. That's from Miss Jeans. Have you ever gotten

anything from them? No, I haven't. They're amazing.

Are they down here?

Great little dessert.

Cool. And what did they say we had?

They did not.

Okay, we've got, okay, croissant.

And that looks about, we got like Baker's Dozen croissants. Great. You

close those up?

Great. We'll keep them fresh. You can keep them over here. Perfect.

And, oh, those look nice. Yeah, they do. Chocolate chip. I think it's just

chocolate chip. No other nuts or anything?

No. I'm going to think about how we should display these because you

want to keep the boxes closed up until the last minute. Right.

A lot of people like to eat them right out of the box.

Oh. If you want.

They made plenty.

You know what? I am good. Oh, are you? Yeah, I'm not a big sweets person, but I

appreciate it. No problem. Thank you. I have to have just one little bite. Thank

you. Oh, my gosh. Go for it. Of course.

Is there somewhere I can wash my hands?

We, um, oh.

What is that?

Is that alone?

It kind of looks moldy. What? Yeah, was the, oh.

What is, oh.

What happened? What is going on?

Oh, my gosh. Okay. What just happened?

It's the Miss Jeans. I've catered for them before, but I've never brought

in here. There's no preservatives in them, so if they hit moist air, they

Oh, my God. I've never seen anything like that. I'm literally freaking out.

don't. I mean, it's healthy mold because there's no preservatives. That I know.

They make all of their dressings with the same things, blue cheese and stuff.

But, yeah, I don't want to touch it because my hands might have on it.

Is that still...

I don't even want to know.

Oh, my gosh.

Okay.

I have never seen anything like this in my life. Yeah, they can attract bead

mold. Oh, okay.

Hold on a minute.

Hold on a minute. Will you stay right there? I don't want to touch anything.

I'll get some sanitizer and some cleaning.

Thanks for asking.

Yeah, they're having a little impromptu party. His daughter just got a

promotion. Oh, that's so great.

Okay. So you can help out right here. This could be your little station.

Oh, yeah, you know what? Finish this. I was just writing.

It's one of those glow signs.

He wanted to say, congrats, Buttercup. Of course. That's what he calls her.

Okay, you can finish that. I'll go get the cake. I got it.

Great. Thanks, Lorraine. Is this a surprise for her or no? Yes, it is.

Uh -huh.

All right, and here's the cake, and I think the cake is... Okay, now this one.

Oh, that looks great.

Where would you like it?

Yeah, just right there is fine. I think the cake is going to say the same thing.

How many people would you say that cake... Oh, wait, what's up here?

Oh, they always pack it with frosting.

Are you supposed to do that? Yeah. Are you good at that?

I can do it. Yeah. Okay, don't worry. I think they're pretty much self -working.

Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. How many people would you say that cake is?

Serve. All 30.

Yep, good. We'll get the fine.

Okay, so let me close that.

Like the reasonable slices, of course. That's right, reasonable slices.

Put that there.

And slide this over.

And so I think you have to just put it near it. Is that right?

Yeah.

You've done one of these before, the smart cake?

No, I have not, but I know people are going to be on this side, right?

Oh, no, I meant this next. This is a smart cake.

What's a smart cake? Oh, look, here, we turn this on.

Oh, yeah.

Do you hear it pairs? You have to hold it kind of close.

To the cake?

Yeah. What's the cake do besides, I mean, what do you mean smart cake? What

it do? Well, that's what I was showing you.

Oh! Yeah. Isn't that great? How did it do that?

It's Bluetooth.

It's synced up with Bluetooth, and there's a chip that runs.

I never did that. You never did that? No.

Oh, my God.

It's the best way to do it. I see that. Because whatever you put here, it's

going to be on there. Yeah, what you put on there sinks onto there. It's like a

printer. Exactly.

Oh, it's awesome. A frosting printer.

Yeah, I thought we would have to do it, you know, old -fashioned way. The old

-fashioned way you'd have to do manually, yeah.

But this is, yeah, it's a Bluetooth frosting printer, and each box comes

one, and it's disposable.

Yeah, we love them because in case they want to change their mind.

Okay, so you got this sign. Right. Plus you got the cake. You got the sign, you

got the cake. Uh -oh. Sorry.

Oops. Oh, no. Sorry.

Really?

What is it? Rat?

Rat butt.

Why don't you put it back in?

Did you turn it on again?

No, it's not going to redo it, right?

I don't know. Let's look. Don't even.

I know.

It's okay, change it. We'll change it quickly. Oh my goodness. Just give me...

Here, you can maybe write something to fix it. Congrats, Buttercup. I'll stall

them. Okay, thank you. Yeah, sorry.

Yes? Oh, no problem. Hold on.

We're going to make a little thing like that. Okay.

Okay. This is going to be the homeowners having a party. They're very cool, the

two of them. Yeah, apparently they went on their honeymoon in Aruba and, like,

brought back the shell.

These are, I don't know how you get this through customs, because usually they

have, you know, with another country. They have rules, yeah, with regards to,

like, what you can take.

Yeah. Can you hear the ocean? Yeah, a little bit. It's nice.

Yeah.

Uh -huh. Yeah.

Great. So I was going to...

Oh, my gosh. You want to just wash this rinse? Yeah. I mean, wipe that down?

Yeah. Because I was going to do something with it, maybe put things

and kind of feature it. Yeah.

All right. I think this is going to get.

Oh, I got that. Okay. Yeah. Great.

Okay. I'll have.

What is going on?

Oh, my gosh.

Look at this. Here, wait. We'll use it. I'll use this because I'll dump it out.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Maybe they wanted to keep that in there. To keep it in there. I was just like...

Are you... He was having you listen to it before.

Wow. It's still going.

That's all right. Well, maybe... Wow.

Look at these.

Yeah.

There's like... There's... What's in... What is that?

Seaweed. There's stuff still inside. Well, I'm sure he'd want me to clean it

if it's like important for the park. Yeah.

Oh.

Oh. Oh, that is some nastiness. Wow. But that's so cool, though.

Yeah, that's insane.

Oh, jeez. No, don't do that. Okay, I'm going to change that bowl out. You are?

Yeah. You know what? We'll keep it in the bowl. Okay. Yeah, we'll just use

Jeez. How is there that much fitting in it? I don't understand.

Hold on. There's like a little... Wait, there's more water where there's more.

Wait, in the bowl, in the bowl, in the bowl.

Gosh. In the bowl, in the bowl, in the bowl.

Okay. That's what makes the sound. You know, like it's conical, so stuff could

get jammed up in there.

Here, let's just leave it in here like that. Yeah, that's crazy. I don't even

think he knew that all that stuff was in there. No, I definitely don't think he

knew. Look at how pretty these shells are. They are.

Oh, my gosh, it's still going.

Okay, there's water still coming out of there.

Wow. Okay, well, let's... Here, I'm going to clean it up. Let me just clean

the table a little bit. That's crazy.

It doesn't even seem that big to hold that much water.

Yeah, it could be compressed, though, because, you know, it's under pressure.

You see the air? Yeah.

That's what the air is being released.

So that's why.

Yeah. Oh, that's crazy.

Yeah.

It's like.

You're done now?

I don't know.

Whoa. Oh.

There's a live animal in there. What? There's an eel in there. Look it. Look

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

My God.

That's crazy.

Oh, my gosh. I mean, that's one of the reasons you can't bring these.

Thank you.

Okay, I'm going to get a new tablecloth and everything.

All right, you just stand tight. I'll be right back. Hold on. I'll get new

linens. You stay just right there.

Okay. Yeah. I'm putting this back.

Do you put it back up there? Should we put the stuff back in? No. Well, no.

already out. It's already out. Yeah. From here on out, let's just clean it

We'll clean it up. How is all of this inside that one shell?

That's what I'm trying to figure out.

I don't know. It's like a whole beach.

Oh, my God. I'm putting this back. Good. We did do something good. We can let

them. What, do I tell him? Yeah, look at this. You can't hide this. This is a

live animal. Maybe, can I, like, Google what to do with this thing? Because I

don't know what, besides, like, we don't want to. Google the Carbonaro effect.

B -A -R.

Yeah, American Hit. No, wait. B -O -N -A -R -O.

C -R -O -B -O -N -A -R -O.

Okay, I'm on that, but it's showing me this show.

Oh.

What to do. Wait, what's the name of the snake?

I'm sorry. Don't drop it in. Put the thing in there. Look, see?

That doesn't help you.

Okay. It's a hidden camera.

Magic TV show.

Okay. So what does it have to do with the snake?

Like the one you're on right now.

You're lying.

You're on my TV show, The Carbonaro Effect. No, I'm not. Right now, yes.

I'm a magician.

I'm cool. I made it happen.

Come here. Here's your phone back.

Put

on

a hardcore look from a hardware store.

I'm not going to talk like this, though, because I'll never be able to keep it

consistent. We'll just do this guy.

Right. Okay, cool.

All right, you know what? Here.

Let me get a... Did you ask for the chain?

No. You're not the chain order. Okay, maybe you can help me out. You're cool

using Bluetooth tools?

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

All right.

My cutter here.

They usually pre -cut them, and then I cut it at the wrong length. This one's

just the hardest one to do by myself.

Oh, yeah, no problem. This tool. Okay, let me... There we go. Okay.

So I'll open that up like this.

Okay. You got that.

Thank you so much.

Okay,

so what you want to do is you want to be within six inches.

Okay, what am I doing? Just bring it a little closer, like six inches close to

it. Come closer. About right there. Wait. Come a little closer. And give it

snip.

Good. Thank you. Whoa.

Okay. That was so cool.

Didn't you just say you need a Bluetooth tool?

Well, when you said Bluetooth, I was like, oh, yeah, I have Bluetooth.

Oh, you've never used the tool. No, that was so cool. Oh, yeah. Isn't that

great? It doesn't cut flesh.

Like, it won't cut flesh no matter what. That is so cool. You know, like, your

phone won't open unless it's a thumb?

Yeah.

Here, look, I'll show you. This one's my favorite because I was just playing

with it.

You know, the noise that that makes, right, is way worse. But if you use the

Bluetooth, you could work in the middle of the night with this guy.

Button right there.

The only thing that's weird is that you just don't know which side is the, you

know, which side is the claw and which side is the head.

Here, move your purse. Would you want to give that a try?

I'll put it on the edge. Go ahead and... Yeah?

Give it a little action. Go ahead and give it a hit.

Oh, I think it's the other side. Yeah, there you go.

Give it a whack.

Whoa, okay, this is so creepy.

That's great. How does it do it?

It's using, like, inertia, and the Bluetooth is starting up a magnetic

resonance. Yeah. So it's using both Bluetooth and inertia.

That is way interesting.

How are you doing? Good, how are we doing?

Good. All right.

Thank you.

All right, just this?

Yeah. Got it. Oh, you got a little, uh... It's a little... A scratch?

Oh, yeah.

I think I'll call it.

Yeah,

this is the only one they had, too. The only one they had? Yeah. All right, let

me, uh... Let me see if I can just give that a little... Smack that back into

place.

A little bit.

Sometimes that'll... Oh, jeez.

What did I do?

Oop.

Sorry. Sometimes it's better to do it that way first, though. Where's this?

I'm sorry, buddy.

That's all right. Yeah.

Sometimes it's better to break it first before you try and fix anything.

That's cool.

If I had another one, I'd let you.

All right, let's see. You just rub it in. It's an aluminum spray and

all the cracks.

I don't understand how that works like that. Isn't that something?

That's crazy. See the little? Yeah, it fills the cracks.

Really? Yeah.

It sort of like heats each end.

Because when mirror breaks, it always breaks in a sharp blade -like point. And

the two of them together, when both very, very sharp tips get melted, they

perfectly meld into each other.

So that's not going to break or anything, is it? It actually strengthens

Oh, really? Yeah. The same thing happened with my windshield on my truck.

thought that mirror was a goner, man. Oh, yeah, no. I had a little nick on my

windshield, and I tried to fix it with the spray, and it wasn't working, but we

smashed the whole thing and then fixed it, and it's much, yeah, much cleaner.

Yeah, much cleaner fix. Yeah.

Let me get the coupon in the circular for you.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Careful.

Yeah.

Do you want to take some of those home with you guys?

They're glove warmers. You know, to keep your hands warm in the winter.

How do they work?

Dude, you just drop them in a glove.

You rub them to kind of warm them up, and then you drop them in a glove.

Oh, really? Yeah, and it keeps your hands warm. You can put them in your

You know, you can put them in a... Yeah,

you take a couple of them, put them in your... Yeah.

You use one at a time when you're doing it. Oh, so after one.

You take one and you put it in your hand and just sort of rub it until it'll

light.

You let that ball light up.

You drop it into a glove.

Well, you got to put these in the bag. Feel that. Right?

Oh, yeah.

It feels warm, right? Feel that?

Yeah, but the way you touch that thing, that thing, ain't nothing like that.

No, it's inside. Yeah, the tip. I'm talking about before you put it in.

You're talking about the flame that he saw. Yeah.

You got to put this in the bag. You can't have this in your pocket and roll

on something.

Well, I drop, it'll stay lit inside. And then just when you're finished with it,

you just tumble it out.

And then you have the lit one again.

And you just, you want to blow it out and put it in there.

Amongst all the other ones.

Yeah, but... And it'll always keep lighting? It'll keep lighting.

Yeah, that's what I say. When you give me a little piece of paper, I can wrap

mine in.

A little bit of something to wrap it in.

Yeah, I don't want... This way it's a... Well, it might ignite the paper,

though. Yeah, so I'm thinking... You know, that'd be like... Just hold it in

your hand.

Just... Probably paper.

Give me a bag, quickie.

Bag. I'll get you a bag. I don't care.

I don't care.

That's what I thought about it. I said, it'd be good.

Gee whiz.

That's... That bag that you got up in your pocket.

2 a .m.,

I'm on a farm and I've got my alien calling device.

These things actually work.

So, show some respect.

So, yeah, the guy who usually tends the farm, he was living in here.

So they just like without you without anybody didn't know no no and he was

keeping the animals cool But um yeah, so basically we have to just get all of

this stuff at it. Oh my god. It's like a disaster Yeah, he went nuts. Oh look.

He's one of those. Yeah, I want to take a photo Go for it. Well. That's what we

have to do. We have to take photos. That's crazy Um of the what machines are

they talking about? What is this toothbrush with a photo?

What's that? No, there's a toothbrush with the notes in it.

Oh, he's, like, insane.

He's insane. I think he, like, used to work for NASA or something like that.

And someone called, said they were from a division of the CIA.

And we're like, we're just a petting zoo.

Yeah. Like, we just want to.

Oh, shoot. Where are the goats?

Okay.

This is our donkey, Goldie.

Yeah. Hi, Goldie. Hey, Derek.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, the goats aren't in here, so I guess he took off with the machines and

goats.

You have to be kidding me.

No, and he, like, tagged the walls, too. There's, like, this symbol on the wall.

All right. Okay, so look for the goats.

I don't know, man. What the hell?

Okay. Oh, yeah, there, too.

Yeah.

What's the matter? Do you have water?

A little bit.

Looks like it.

All right, yeah, you're good. You're just making sounds, right?

What was that?

That did happen, right? I'm like, okay.

I don't know what the heck that was.

Somebody driving up, maybe? Oh, yeah, maybe that's got to be the truck that

driver by.

Oh, okay.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Cool.

Enough weirdness going on. Okay, put that in there. So they're going to pick

this stuff up. Okay.

That looks like one of them.

Yeah, that's one of his things.

It's okay if I touch it? Yeah, please.

Yeah. Okay.

There's an important device, Kyle.

Clearly.

What is it?

I don't know.

I like the teeth the best.

Yeah. No, this is... Oh!

It works.

We're calling them.

No, no, hold on.

Okay, here.

Shut this off.

Here we go. Hold on.

Just one big picture.

Cool. Great.

Okay. Okay. Well, that's fun.

So that I heard.

What is that? I don't know.

What is that?

Look. What? Okay.

Whoa.

Oh, my God. Oh,

my God. What is happening? I have no idea. Hold on a minute.

Holy... What the hell is going on?

What the... Seriously.

What was that? I don't know.

What just happened here?

Um... I'm scared.

Get the... Holy... Okay, we just witnessed this.

What the heck is that? What is that? That is that.

That's the same symbol that was above the donkey.

Right? Oh, my God. Get down.

What is happening?

Okay, we're okay. We'll call Derek to come back up. Are we okay? That just

burned a hole through that. I know, but we're... I mean, I... Do you hear that?

Yes.

Where is Goldie?

What the hell is going on? I'm not sure, but I'm creeped out. Like, seriously

creeped out. Where the heck could she have gone? She was tied up.

Kyle, what's happening?

Look, that... This is weird alien

stuff.

I have never seen anything like that in my life. Okay, ready? Okay.

Get down. That light. Look.

It's happening.

Okay. What is that? I don't know. What is that?

Okay. Oh,

my God. Okay. Can you... I'm... That is the

same sign.

Would it burn it in your... Yes.

That was not here.

I am not with you. This is weird. Why do you have a symbol? I don't know. I

don't know what this means.

Oh, my God. I've seen that symbol before. It was something about it

What the... Symbol means it's part of the Carbonaro effect.

Do you know what that is?

No. You've been marked. No. The Carbonaro effect is the name of a hidden

magic TV show... Okay.

...that you're on right now.

Are you... It was me. I am.

Kyle? Yeah?

My name is Michael Carbonaro. I'm a magician.

You're on my TV show right now. I think so. Yes, yes!

That was crazy. Why are you doing this to me?

That wasn't... Don't be scared.

Seriously, is there a camera on camera? Yeah, look, I have a camera hiding right

up here.

Okay, so burning a hole through this thing, that was just you? That must have

been the real alien.