Original subtitles

Where's that from?

It's a trip to Arizona.

We went to Arizona?

Yeah, last year.

We spent the night on the Indian Reservation, remember?

No.

We camped out at the Grand Canyon.

No.

We stopped at that little tamale stand.

Hector's!

Highway 41.

And we had that great green chili stew with those little tiny taquitos on the

side. And Sashim, the waitress, she didn't charge us extra for the sour

Oh, what a trip.

Each time I feel I'm out to pasture.

Who always makes me feel brand new?

I'm pledging my allegiance, baby, to nobody else but you.

Who loves me even though I'm crazy?

And nothing that I say is true.

Who won my heart and soul forever? No.

else but nobody else but

would you?

You wouldn't happen to be Norma Kamali, would you?

He seemed nice.

Fabulous, right?

Burn, baby, burn. Oh, oh my God, look who it is.

All right, that's it. You are now officially the most fabulous person I

ever met in a bathroom.

Can I tell you a secret?

You are so, fabulous in the rose, you are absolutely going to win the Academy

Award.

Well, I don't know.

From what I could sit through of Norma Rae, that Sally Peele was pretty

terrific. I think she has a shot. Oh, no way. Well, of course, she didn't sing.

She didn't die.

I died singing.

So, what are you working on now?

Oh, I'm working on this new movie that my manager says is going to take my

career to a whole new level. Oh, wow. What the hell?

If you can get in.

So, what'd you think of my number?

What number? Oh, I'm Connie Randolph.

Well, no, you probably know me better as Jancy Blue.

I just sang at your party.

The funky mailbox?

The 11th biggest disco hit of 1975?

Oh, I really have to beg your pardon. Yeah, I've been hiding out in here all

night. Bianca Jagger brought this stupid monkey in a cowboy hat and he keeps

throwing bigs at me. Oh.

The banana kid. You know him? Yeah, we have the same agent.

I'm really sorry I missed your number. Well, hey, I'll do it for you right now.

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes. No, no, no.

Oh, yes, oh, yes.

It takes a real left turn there, don't it?

I'm sorry.

I've just been singing this damn number every night for five years, and I book

myself here, and I book myself there, and I'm just going to be singing this

until they bury me in some funky cemetery.

I'm so sorry. I am not usually like this.

Not at all.

I should have married Steve.

Who's Steve?

He's this guy I made up to get my mother off my back.

He's Lutheran, but thinking of converting.

Oh, God.

I hate this place. It's really vile. I won't even touch the doorknobs.

My orthodontist was out there in a diaper.

Well, you have a beautiful smile.

Thank you. Oh, God.

Listen, things could be worse. You could be stuck here in the can at Studio 54

trying to re -wrap yourself.

No, you can't. Oh, yes, I can. I promise you. Put your hands up like... No

pictures. Okay. There you go.

Over we go. Over we go. Over we go. There we go.

What do I do? What do I do? Turn, baby, turn.

Oh,

there you go. Oh, there's a girl. Look at you.

And ta -da.

I mean, the party has been my honor and everything.

It was really nice meeting you. Oh, you too. You too. And thank you. Lots of

luck. Lots and lots of luck. Thank you so much. Okay.

Aren't you going back out there?

Oh, it's so crowded.

And Liza Minnelli's just going to ask me to go eat eggs with her.

She'll hog all the jelly and mama this and mama that.

I don't know. I just can't face it.

I kind of like it better in here. Oh, me too.

So you meet anybody tonight?

Nobody else but... Okay, here we go.

Doing fine.

Almost over crying out loud. Come here.

Come here. Oh, please, would you stay with me? Where did you go?

Well, it's demented.

And there aren't enough penis to go around. I counted. Honey, would you

I'm telling you, Connie, this parade is going down faster than my career.

Darling, you're going to be just fine. Come on. Excuse me.

Did you see James?

Yes.

Come on, darling. Here's your seat right over here. Oh, Connie, Connie, there's

only one. Well, you know, they actually didn't have two together.

Darn.

Here you go. Here you go. Excuse me.

Excuse me, coming through. Sweetie, would you be more comfortable in first

class? No, no.

If we lose a propeller, I have a 38 % better chance of survival back here.

Honey, there are no propellers.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Go sit down. Go sit. Go sit.

You'll be fine. Just fine.

Okay, back again. There you go. Are you all set?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Where are you going to be? Just back there, dear.

Look, I can switch seats with you if you want.

Hi.

Hello.

You from L .A.? No, I'm just heading out there for a job interview.

It's raining.

I don't like that.

Oh, Jill.

Wait.

So what do you do?

Well, I'm interviewing for a teaching position at UCLA. I just finished my

dissertation, and to tell you the truth, I haven't slept for a couple weeks, so

no offense.

None taken.

Yes.

I can never sleep on planes.

I just never feel safe enough. I try to get comfortable, and then I start to

think about Patsy Cline and Buddy Holly.

Ross, and I just get completely panicked.

Well, Diana Ross is still alive.

Yeah, I know, but she seems mean.

Really? I heard she was nice.

Really? Yeah. Connie!

Yeah? Is Diana Ross mean?

I don't know.

I like baby love.

Oh, yeah, that's a good song.

Ladies and gentlemen, our flight crew will soon be passing out headsets for

tonight's movie, Norma Rae.

You just go right on to sleep.

Thank you.

You seem emotionally

unavailable.

Hmm.

My therapist says I'm only attracted to men who are emotionally unavailable.

Oh, you're in therapy?

Well, blow me down.

Well, you know, they say the first 11 years are just to get to know you, Dan.

So does that mean you're attracted to me?

No. Well, you just said. No, no, no. I said my shrink said.

Oh, so your shrink's attracted to me.

Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts in preparation for takeoff.

That's my cue.

Wait, wait, wait, wait there. Hold on, Stretch. Hold on, hold on.

Oh, here, sit down.

You're safe.

You are totally, totally safe, okay?

I like your ponytail.

I had a ponytail as a child. And a goldfish called Dinah Shore. I loved

I love Dinah Shore. Don't you love Dinah Shore?

Mwah!

Do me a favor. Would you just talk to me till we get up in the air, okay?

Sure, sure.

Thank you.

So, what do you teach?

History. Huh.

I saw Gandhi.

You're kind of like that guy.

It was so long.

What's that for?

I don't meet people like you very often, and I... Well, you just seem so real.

Do you own a drill?

I do.

Do you fish?

I like to throw a line in, yeah.

What do you pay for your haircut?

Seven bucks and a very generous tip.

Huh.

Huh. So, are you seeing anybody?

That's kind of a personal question, isn't it?

Well, you're right. I'm very sorry.

Connie? Yeah?

Was she single?

Oh, yeah.

Nice.

Trying to remember all the jokes that you taught me When you see the light in

eyes It's only a reflection of the joy that you brought me What? Are you going

to cry now, too?

You're not getting a tip out of me.

Now you've done it.

I wonder what this is going to cost us.

Connie?

You're a size 32, aren't you?

Hello? Are you Dave?

No, I'm Oscar.

I was expecting someone named Dave.

Um, well, I'm Oscar.

Then who's Dave?

Well, I don't know anybody called Dave. Well, I mean, I do know somebody called

Dave. I mean, everybody knows somebody called Dave. In fact, it's funny because

I've got a cousin whose name is Dave.

He likes people to call him David, but he once hid my inhaler, so screw him.

I'm Oscar.

Okay. I really, really want this job. Oh, are you the moving man?

Oh, no, no, no. I've just come in for the position of your new musical

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, all right, let's start all over again. Okay.

Hi, I'm Beth. Hello, I'm Oscar.

The musical director.

That's right.

Here is my resume for you. Oh, thank you, thank you.

My, my, very impressive.

Is it true?

Well, a lot of it's true. I don't...

Crack told me you're fantastic. Oh, thank you. You know, he's a much smaller

than his head would lead you to believe.

Come over here.

You just go over there and play something for me, okay? Yes, my dear.

Matt.

Slower.

Left hand.

Right hand.

Harrison the 20.

You're at a western saloon.

loves unnerve you?

No more than the monkey.

All right, come over here. Come right over here and sit right by me and talk

me all about yourself. Well, as you can hear, my musical range is enormous. This

table is wobbly. Yes, and ironically... I just got this table. Ironically, I was

trained in English. Guess how much I paid for this table. Get, get.

Um, Petula Clark.

Huh? Yes, um, she was, uh, doing Annie Get Your Gun at this little...

dinner theatre, and I wound up going on the road with her, and that's how I came

to the States. I'm so sorry. You did ask me how I got started, didn't you?

Uh, I could have.

No, no, no, no. I asked you about the table. Oh, right.

Yes, I am sorry. Yes.

Well, piano, bass, piano mostly. I've done some arranging, some conducting,

session musician. I've had a number of songs covered, and that's about it.

But what does that have to do with the table?

Tuesday.

When I can start?

Splendid. Well, I'm glad that's all sorted. 11 o 'clock then? Well, thank

Thank you very much indeed.

But, um, $500.

A day?

No, no, no, no, no. I was talking about the... Yes.

I'll give you three.

Oh, well, one hates to dick her, but, um... Oh, all right.

Thank you very much. Well, I'm looking forward to a long and happy artistic

relationship. As am I. I just have one more question to you.

Are you about a size 32?

How did I get to be so lucky?

I wonder that my whole life through.

I thank my lucky stars for sending me nobody else but, nobody else

but...

Okay, okay, honey. Honey, you're doing great. Just relax and breathe, breathe.

Just breathe.

I'm too famous to be in this much pain.

Are you sure this is the celebrity floor?

Yes, yes, I swear. Prove it.

Prove it. Who else has been here?

Candice Bergen. Oh, she's good. I like her.

Who else?

Meryl Streep.

Meryl Streep. Okay.

Here's a funny story.

Okay.

Meryl and I are having our highlights done. okay?

And the shampoo girl who slept with everybody says to Meryl,

I'll tell

you later.

That was a big one. That was a big one. Just, okay, now just relax and focus.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

I can't feel my legs.

I got a breeze blowing up Broadway and I feel like I'm about to pass a Maytag.

You just don't understand.

I need a woman. Get me Connie.

Connie!

Connie!

Honey, honey, I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm right

Well, Connie. What's the matter?

How does West Side Story end? What?

I can't for the life of me remember. Huh?

West Side Story, we used to watch it on the phone all the time. How does it end?

All right. Okay, well, Chino shoots Tony. Chino.

Chino liked the pants. Yeah.

And, and, and. Oh, ow, ow, ow. And then, and then Maria goes and gets all the

sharks. Don't, don't, don't tell me. Don't tell me. Act it out.

Ladies, if I could interrupt here... If you would help me find my shoes nine

months ago, we could have kept that reservation at the Ivy, and I wouldn't

this situation now.

Don't you ever do this to me again.

I'm waiting, Connie.

How many bullets, you know? How many bullets? And two.

Yes, right here, right here, right here, right here. All right, we're ready to

go. We're ready to go. Am I blocking your view?

Yes, God bless you.

Are you ready to push? No, no, no, no.

Hold it, hold it, Doc. What's your rush?

You got a date? Look, Connie here's single.

So's Oscar.

Settle a bet.

Willie, the baby's ready to go here.

But I'm not.

Well, I say we push ahead.

Well, I got a human head in my vagina.

So checkmate.

Talk to me here.

I'm nervous, okay?

I'm frightened. I don't know what kind of a mother I'm going to be. I've never

done this before.

Honey, you are the most lovely, wonderful woman in the world. Shut up!

I mean, you've blessed everyone who's come into your life.

No, that was me. I'm sorry.

Here she is.

See? There you go.

Hi, beautiful.

Here, I want you to meet somebody.

This deranged lady's your mom.