Original subtitles

In other words, if I sign this form, I'm giving away all my vital organs?

Well, the way it works is, you get this little sticker for the back of your

driver's license. That lets the doctor know that when you die, you want parts

your body to live on in others.

How do you get involved in these causes?

Well, when you... are part of the inner circle of the capital city social zine

you hang out with a lot of people who care inner circle last month you were

president of the bowling league it seems like a lifetime ago since i met

bonnie van gorder i am a Totally different Gretchen Krause. I feel just

Cinderella. All the best parties, all the best restaurants, all the best

So do I get your organs or not?

Sure, why not?

Oh, one thing.

I can't guarantee my liver.

Thank you. Now all I have to get are Benson and Clayton.

Clayton? His organs won't make good gravy.

Ah, Benson, have you been thinking about your organs?

Yes.

Just this morning, I had an amusing thought about my spleen.

Oh, come on, Benson. This is serious. Are you going to join the donor program

not? Yes, I am. Oh, good. Here is the form. Just leave it right there on the

desk. I have something I need you to do for me right away. Yeah?

Now, I have a Dr. Richard Wilcox flying in on the 18th.

I want hotel accommodations for him from the 18th through the 21st. And on the

morning of the 19th, I need a car to pick him up and take him to the Senate

testify. I'll get right on it. All right.

Oh, Governor, I was wondering... Oh, if this is about my organs, look on your

desk.

Bill Benson, how was the staff meeting? Any progress on that chemical dumping

bill? Yes, as a matter of fact, I found an expert who was willing to support our

position on the dangers of continued chemical dumping. Is he credible?

He's got to be credible, and he's got to be as knowledgeable as this guy that

wrote that book, Toxic Suicide. You know, what's his name? Yeah, Dr. Richard

Wilcox. Dr. Richard Wilcox. We need somebody like him.

We have him.

You have Wilcox?

Wait a minute!

Easy on that heart. You don't own it anymore.

Listen, Gunson, I think we could use a little strategy here.

What do you mean?

Let's just keep Dr.

Wilcox a surprise.

We tell nobody.

We spring him on the committee.

Huh? Agreed? Sounds like a good plan to me. So, mum's the word. We keep it a

secret, huh?

Secret? What are we keeping a secret?

Not we, Clayton.

We. Oh, I see. I dedicate my entire professional career to this

and this is the respect I am afforded. Oh, Clayton, now this is a very delicate

situation. It's obviously more delicate than my feelings. It is apparent to me

that we don't need to know the secret.

Only we...

Therefore, we will just take our insignificant self back to our office.

Oh, right.

Right. We are smuggling a witness in to testify before the anti -dumping bill.

Uh -huh.

Dr. Richard Wilcox.

Wilcox! This is big. This is really big.

It is hush -hush, right, Benson?

Well, it wasn't until a moment ago.

Hush. Hush, hush, hush.

My lips are sealed.

I saw Dr. Wilcox on one of those talk shows.

He's good.

And good looking.

Mrs. Cassidy, what were you doing in the bathroom?

Putting those little blue crystals in the water.

You don't think it helps, does it, do you?

Mrs. Cassidy!

I... I hope you understand that what you overheard was strictly confidential.

Don't sweat it, Chief.

I don't tell tales out of school.

Oh, well, she won't tell anybody.

You have unflowered underwear.

How do you know that?

I rest my case.

you'll do it. Say you'll be Grand Marshal of the parade.

Ah, Mrs. Van Gorder.

It's very flattering, but I'm afraid my Palomino riding days are over.

Oh, uh, Benson.

Oh, Bonnie.

Oh, Clayton. Oh, brother.

You look stunning. And you look so trim.

You must run.

No, I must run. You two deserve to be alone.

Bonnie, please excuse me. I'll be right back.

Benson, what is Bonnie Van Gorder doing at a staff party for Mrs.

Cassidy if she's hardly the type to hobnob with the kitchen help?

Well, Krause must have invited her. They've been hanging out together

Well, well, well. Oh, there's a little bit of social climber in all of us, eh?

Could you let go of me now?

Oh, sorry. Listen, I just got off the phone with the governor. He's caught in

traffic. He'd like you to make the speech and give Mrs. Cassidy the gift.

you'll have to give me a couple of minutes to make some notes. Yeah, well,

hurry up. We're running out of punch.

Well, Bonnie, I'm back.

Not now, Clayton.

Gretch. Gretch. Oh, Bonnie, I'm so sorry. Sorry I wasn't here when you were

right. I've just been swamped. Don't think a thing of it. I've been having a

lovely time. These are charming people.

Yeah, yeah. What's the matter? You seem frazzled.

Well, I've been running around all day trying to find a decent hotel room for

this VIP we've got coming in.

VIPs? Yeah, yeah, but all the hotels are booked solid.

Well, maybe I can help. Max at the Royale is an old friend.

What's your VIP's name?

It's a Dr. Richard Wilcock.

Uh -huh.

Let's go to your office. I'll make a phone call, and you can give Max all the

information. You are such a good friend.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?

As you know, we are here this evening to honor a woman who has honored us with

35 years of dedicated, demented public service.

Ladies and gentlemen, the inimitable Mrs. Rose Cassidy.

Thank you. You're quite welcome, sweetheart. I was just kidding you a

bit. On behalf of the administration, it's my extreme pleasure to present to

this small token of our esteem, our appreciation, and our friendship.

Oh, thank you.

Well, it's not a Ferrari.

But seriously, folks, 35 years and eight administrations have

all been worth it for this moment to look at this lovely...

What the hell is this thing?

Why, it's a stick pin, Rose.

A stick pin? Mm -hmm.

35 years of cleaning up after a bunch of sloppy politicians and that's what I

get?

It's made of sterling silver.

Wonderful.

I'll melt it down and have a tooth filled.

All right, where is she?

Who? That witch.

ghoul, that hyena. Oh, Kraus, she's in the kitchen.

Do you know what I've done?

I've allowed that vulture to trick me into donating my heart, my kidneys, my

liver, my eyes.

What are you worried about, Clayton? It's a wonderful program. It'll help

people. I don't care about that. I don't want to give away my organs.

God knows where they'll end up.

Well, wherever they end up, it'll be a better place.

What if they use them to keep some monkey alive?

Like I said, a better place.

But once in your life, you're doing something worthwhile.

Well, that's true.

But I better call my accountant and see if I can write this off.

Clayton, you're such a loophole.

Good morning, Clayton. Don't touch me, you body snatcher.

Assume, Benson, I don't have much time.

Bonnie is taking me to lunch. Now, everything else is taken care of. The

picked up Dr.

Wilcox. It got him to the committee hearing.

He is testifying even as we speak.

Okay, well, thanks for your help, Cross.

Oh, hi, Miss Cross. Get out.

Excuse me? I have a bone to pick with Benson.

That's different. No apology necessary.

Benson, we are losing support for our bill in the committee.

What? With Dr. Wilcox's testimony, I thought it'd be a lock. The waste

lobby brought in three of their own so -called experts, and they did a hatchet

job on Wilcox's testimony. We've been sabotaged.

How can that be? You and I were the only ones who knew about it. And Clayton.

And Mrs. Cassidy.

And Krauss set up the arrangements for Dr. Wilcox. One of our close personal.

Trusted confidence is a mole, a spy, a Judas.

Benson, I want you to conduct an investigation.

Why do I have to conduct an investigation?

Well, I'd do it, but I can't be impartial.

Oh, yes, you can. You're a very fair man. Oh, no, I'm not fair at all.

I know it's Clayton.

All right, all right, I'll look into it. But if I'm right...

I want you to nail his hide to the barn door.

Well, his hide is all he'll have left.

The medical college has dibs on his giblets.

Did you get the fink yet? No, but I have appointments with several potential

finks all afternoon.

I know that it's Clayton.

That man has no self -control. He's such a blabbermouth.

He is a self -serving, sneaky little twerp.

Hello there.

Oh, hi, Clayton.

Nice suit.

Well, got to run.

Well,

he's in a good mood today.

So what do you want to see me about?

Have a seat, Clayton.

I won't beat around the bush.

We're trying to find out who leaked the information on the chemical dumping

bill.

And you think I did it?

I didn't say that. Now, you don't have to say it. I can see it in your eyes.

want Clayton Endicott to take the fall. Clayton. Oh, sure. It's always Endicott

that springs to mind when you need a scapegoat. Well, let me tell you

my friend.

If heads are gonna roll, they aren't gonna be my heads.

I mean head.

Your head can't roll. It's too flat.

Oh, yeah.

Now, trust me on this. Your head can't roll.

Your nose alone would be enough to stop it.

You want to know who the leak is?

I'll tell you who the leak is. It's Mrs.

Cassidy. She's your stool pigeon. She is your spy.

And you want to know why? I'll tell you why.

Because she is a bitter old scrub woman.

Oh, hi, Rose.

One day that prune face is going to go too far.

Then I'm going to punch out his pit.

Mrs. Cassidy, what I wanted to ask you was... I know, I know, I know. It's

this Wilcox thing. You want to know who leaked it? Well, it wasn't me.

I mean, I didn't make 35 years in this joint by flapping my gums.

So go bark up somebody else's tree, Buster.

Well, thank you for your help, Mrs. Buster.

All right, Benson.

Let's get started with the interrogation. Clayton told me what this

about. Oh, I just want to ask you a couple of questions, Krause. Sure.

There is a straight back chair and a bare light bulb. Or perhaps you would

prefer the rubber hose method.

I see you've done this kind of thing before.

Clayton's getting away. I just saw him in the parking lot.

Governor, please. I am trying to conduct this investigation. I just can't

believe you suspect me of this. I have given this administration the best years

of my life. I thought I was your most trusted employee.

You didn't hear that from me.

Miss Krause, now, you mustn't take this personally.

We're simply trying to find out who told the opposition about Dr.

Wilcox. Now, we're not singling you out. Right.

It could be anybody.

Right. It could be Benson. Wrong.

Well, come on. You could have said something to somebody.

I did not. Benson, at Mrs.

Cassidy's party, you spent half the night with Bonnie Van Gorder.

I spent half the night trying to get away from Bonnie Van Gorder.

Bonnie? What did Bonnie got to do with all this?

Well, she was asking a lot of questions at the party. And she's a well -known

gossip. Just what are you getting at?

Yeah, what are you getting at?

Aren't you and Bonnie friends?

Now, you just wait a minute here.

You leave Bonnie out of this. She would never do anything sneaky and

underhanded. She is my friend.

Oh, come on, Kraus. What did you two talk about? Nothing. Just girl talk.

You sure you never told her anything about your work? I told her what a rough

week I was having because of having to arrange for Dr.

Wilcox and all.

She helped me out.

Well, there's nothing there.

Nothing there.

Governor, don't you see? It's obvious what happened.

Kraus gave Bonnie the information and Bonnie passed it to Senator Fulton. Oh,

Benson, you're really reaching.

Oh, Benson.

That must be exactly what happened.

There's your leak.

I just don't understand. I mean, how could Bonnie do this to me?

No, she didn't just do it to you. She does it to everybody.

But why?

Why? Because that's her game. She exchanges political information for

I guess I just never saw that side of her because I was so caught up in all

fancy parties and all those things.

Well, it's okay. You didn't know what you were doing.

I sold us down the water.

Don't worry about her. She'll be all right.

Oh, I know that. I just wanted it to be Clayton.

I wanted to nail his hide to the barn door.

I know whose hide should be nailed to the barn door.

Bonnie Von Gorder, huh?

Yeah, someone should have a talk with that woman.

Why don't you handle that?

I'd be happy to.

Anybody home?

Mrs. Van Gorder, come in.

Lieutenant Governor, I received a phone call that said you wanted to see me

immediately. Bonnie, I am not a happy man.

No, did I leave you off the cotillion list?

It's not about me. It's about you and Krause.

Gretchen? Have a seat.

You received a piece of information about Dr.

Wilcox from Krause and you passed it on to Senator Fulton.

I'm still not seeing the problem.

But you do admit you did that.

Oh, it's common knowledge that I'm a prime source of information in this

It wasn't common knowledge to Krause.

Well, if Gretchen didn't know, then Gretchen's terribly naive.

I may be naive, but I'm not a sneak in the grass.

That snake in the grass.

She knows what she is.

Really, I don't want to be a part of a scene.

I'm not through with you yet. Lit down.

I beg your pardon?

Pocket tooth!

You know what, really?

Guess me about all this.

I really liked you.

Come on, Gretchen, grow up.

I don't be like you. No, thank you, Mrs. Van Gorder. I'll just be myself.

Plain old Kraus.

Captain of the Pinblaster's bowling team. I'm proud of it.

Any one of those ladies would make ten of you.

What can I say?

How about goodbye?

Goodbye.

Lieutenant Governor.

Oh, I should have punched her.

What, to spend the night in jail?

I think you handled it just right.

Boy, it doesn't feel so good.

You know what my problem is, Benson? I let people walk all over me. I'm such a

rug. I'm a sidewalk.

I'm a hardwood floor.

Well, Cross, if I were you, I wouldn't worry about the Bonnie Van Gorders of

world. You're better off without them.

I know.

It's just that I don't have that many friends.

Well, Cross, people like you never have many friends.

No, what I mean is that you care more about quality than quantity.

Oh, yeah?

Well, right now, I don't have diddly.

Well, it's her loss. You have some wonderful qualities.

Oh, don't start in with the soft dope.

No, I was simply trying to... Yeah, I know what you're trying to do. You're

trying to be my buddy. Pat me on the back and tell me everything is going to

okay. Well, not... Well, it's not okay.

I got taken. I got zuckered. I went to the tree of friendship and picked a

lemon.

So what? It's not the end of the world.

That's very catchy. Tree of friendship.

I'm not going to let one lemon make me a sourpuss.

No, no, no. You can handle that all by yourself.

Damn right anybody's gonna foul up my life. It's gonna be me. Well, you're

a good job of it. Thank you. You're welcome.

Good night.

Good night.

Benson? What?

I love you for caring.