Original subtitles

Well, good morning, Clayton. Ah, Benson, Benson, Benson. For once in your life,

you are absolutely right. This is indeed a glorious morning.

Why, is something bad going to happen to me?

Nothing I know of.

Why are you so happy?

Well, you just happened to be looking at this year's recipient of the Press

Club's Man of the Year Award.

Well, congratulations.

Thank you.

When did you find out?

Well, I haven't been officially notified, but a reliable source has

assured me I've got it locked up.

Why do you do this to yourself?

Do what? You nominate yourself for that award every year, and every year you get

more depressed when you lose.

Well, this year I know I am not going to lose.

My record of public service to the community is outstanding.

In the last 12 months, I have visited the sick. I've counseled the young. I've

brought entertainment to the old folks' home. A one -man play entitled Clayton

Endicott, a man and his music, does not qualify as entertainment.

I don't care what you say.

I am going to be the man of the year. I have to be the man of the year. I have

to be. I have to be.

Right, all right. It's just an award.

It is not just an award. It is the key to my future. I've thought it all out.

What are you talking about?

What do you think I'll be doing in five years?

Hopefully you'll be done irritating me.

It's easy for you to joke. You're very successful. Your career is going

somewhere. But I am caught in political quicksand. But the Man of the Year Award

is going to pull me out. Clinton, even if you do win the award, it's not going

to change your life. No one even remembers who won the Dumb Man of the

Award last year. I won the Dumb Man of the Year Award last year.

Morning, everybody.

I have a telegram. Aha!

The Press Club.

Katie, I could kiss you. You do, and your lips are history.

This is it. The motherlode, I can hardly wait.

This is to inform you that you have been chosen this year's man of... year.

Oh, no.

What's the matter?

This is terrible.

What is?

Read it.

Congratulations, Benson. You've been chosen man of the year.

Me?

I could have told you it was for Benson if you would have given me a chance.

Nice going, Benson.

Me? You stole my award.

Oh, come on now, Clayton. I didn't even know I was nominated.

I nominated you. Why would you do that?

Well, I think you deserve it.

I've never done anything to you.

You see, he doesn't even care.

But that's the way things go around here, isn't it? It's always Benson,

Benson. We're going with your proposal again, Benson.

I need your opinion on something, Benson.

Here, you won another award, Benson.

The only way to get any respect around here is to be Benson, Benson, Benson.

God's sake, man, get a grip on yourself.

Benson! Benson!

Benson!

Maybe you should give him the rest of the day off.

Clayton, you have a little vacation coming, don't you? Yes, sir.

I think you need a little rest. Take as much time as you need.

Thank you, sir.

Benson! What, what, what?

Before I go, I just want to say...

to be at the hotel by 7 .30 for the photo session.

The banquet will begin at 8. The man of the year award will be presented to you

at 10, and your new double -breasted tuxedo is hanging in the closet.

Now, you got it?

I got it the first six times you told me, sweetheart.

Hey, it's my job to make sure that you look good, because when you look good, I

look good, and when I look good... Dinosaurs will once again rule the

Do everybody a favor. Open up your ears and give your mouth a rest.

Benson, we have a problem. No, we don't. She's just leaving.

I'm at the college subsidy bill. The legislature wants us to revise it. Okay,

okay, but there go Sundays.

Hey, dude, you just sit tight. I'll be right out of here.

When did you get back?

Back?

I didn't know I was gone.

I thought you were going to take a couple of weeks off.

With all due respect, sir, I've been so loaded down with work, I can't even take

a weekend off.

Where'd you get that tan?

Out of a bottle?

Was that supposed to be some sort of racial remark?

No. Is he making any sense to you?

Not for years.

What do you think you're doing?

I just need to check my notes on this highway taxi.

What are you talking about? Those are my notes.

I thought I heard your voice. Where did you go on your vacation?

And why didn't you bring your mustache back with you?

Mustache?

You must have your lip confused with mine.

You're going?

Sure.

Looking forward to it.

After all, the best man won.

Why on earth would he want to see me get an award?

Maybe he's just trying to be a good sport.

Maybe he thinks the judges will change their minds at the last minute.

You'd have to be cuckoo to think that.

Yeah, that's probably it.

Yeah, I vote for cuckoo.

If there's anybody that knows Cuckoo, it's those two.

I'm sorry I was gone so long. Those photographers take forever.

Hmm, where's Clayton?

Well, he never showed up.

Really? He made such a fuss about being here.

Oh, have Benson, aren't you going to say something about the way I look in my

new dress?

I would, Kraus, but I'm afraid everyone would think I was choking on a chicken

bone.

Speaking of new clothes, Benson, I thought you got a new tuxedo. I did, but

Kraus lost it. I did not. I told you, I hung it in the closet in your office.

Then somewhere in the mansion is a very fat moth.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Limo never showed up. I had to take a cab.

Hope they didn't start without me.

That's my new tuxedo.

Say what?

You are wearing my brand -new, custom -tailored, double -breasted, incredibly

expensive tuxedo.

This tuxedo happened to be in my closet in my office with my name in it. I'm

telling you, you're wearing my brand -new tuxedo. Let me see the label.

Could I have everyone's attention, please?

He's about to present the award.

Club's Man of the Year Award is presented to the person whose work most

the general welfare of this state.

And this year's recipient is a shining example of what this award embodies.

It is with great pleasure that I present the Man of the Year Award to Lieutenant

Governor Benson Dubois.

What has gotten into him?

accepting this award on behalf of Lieutenant Governor Benson Dubois? Hey,

did you lose your brains with your hair?

I am Lieutenant Governor Benson Dubois.

Lunchtime, boss. Get it while it's hot.

In a minute, Mrs. Cassidy. I gotta finish this proposal first.

That's none of my business, but I think you've been working too hard lately.

Is the governor back yet from the sanitarium?

Oh, so they carted him off too, huh?

No one got carted off, Mrs. Cassidy.

The governor simply went to visit Clayton.

Oh.

Hi, everybody. I'm back from Happy Valley.

Well, how's your visit go?

Okay.

But how is he doing?

He still has a way to go, but that's to be expected.

He's taken up a hobby.

Well, that's nice.

What kind of a hobby?

Painting.

Oh.

In fact, he wanted me to have this one. He said it's a picture he painted of

himself.

This is getting scary.

Yeah, it sure is. Now you know what we have to look at every day.

Go suck a strudel.

The doctor thinks he's making progress. This is a picture of me.

Well, yeah, but did you know that he had this kind of talent?

The doctor feels that Clayton is on the road to recovery.

With a slight detour through the twilight zone.

That's where you come in. The doctor feels that a joint therapy session with

and Clayton might be just the thing to snap him out of it.

We'll see if the doctor can feel this. I am not about to go into no room with

Clayton and a head shrinker.

Wait just a minute.

Ask yourself this.

Would you really want Clayton walking around the rest of his life telling

everybody he's Benson Dubois?

With all the problems he's got, why would he want to be black, too?

Dr. Pfeiffer?

Yes, yes, I'm Dr. Pfeiffer.

I'm Benson Dubois.

Please, come in.

Please call me Burnell.

Burnell.

Governor Gatling told me you think I can help Clayton in some way.

Please, sit down.

The situation is this.

Clayton wants desperately to be successful.

He hasn't been able to make that a reality himself.

So he became what he feels symbolizes success.

You. If Clayton still thinks he's me, where's all this progress he's been

making? Art class?

Oh, no.

Clayton's come a long way.

He's overcome a great many psychological hurdles.

For instance, he's no longer jealous of his brother, Russell.

Well, Russell's my brother.

Plan to spend Thanksgiving with Russell.

Well, now I know he's loopy because Russell never even invited me to

Thanksgiving dinner.

Is this something you'd like to talk about?

Could we get back to the other Benson's problems?

Of course.

Of course.

I'm convinced that Clayton is at a turning point in his therapy.

And that he will acknowledge his true identity if he's forced to confront the

real Benson Dubois face to face.

Face to face, huh?

Are you willing to give it a try?

Well, that's the least I can do for Russell.

Please send in Mr. Endicott.

Should I do anything special?

No, no, just act normal.

here for a moment, please.

I'm sorry.

I meant Mr. Vereen.

I'm afraid we've had a slight setback.

Slight?

Doc, wake up. Smell the coffee. This guy is silly putty from the neck up.

The confrontational technique was right.

I just chose the wrong approach.

He doesn't need to confront you.

He needs to confront himself.

Okay, well, good luck with him. Keep us posted.

Please, hold on.

I need your help.

I want you and Clayton to participate in a little psychodrama.

Well, no need to say who's going to be playing the psycho.

No, no, no, no, no.

Psychodrama is the acting out of a typical problem situation.

Okay, okay, I'll help.

Just sit tight, Mr. Dubois. I'll be right back.

Okay.

Not you, him.

Hey, Ben.

I also thought you were hot in an officer and a gentleman.

That wasn't me.

That was Luke Gossett.

What am I saying?

Clayton Endicott's here to see you.

Well, hug my knees.

Send him in. Come on in, Clayton.

Benson,

Benson, Benson.

Benson.

Clayton wants to join us in one of our little role -playing exercises.

Okay, let's recreate a typical stressful situation.

Benson, you're here at your desk, and Clayton comes into Benson's office.

Well, that's a stressful situation, all right. Can we begin, please? Sure, sure.

Now, Benson, since you seem to be totally unencumbered by anything

resembling work, I wonder if I could have a few moments of your time.

You wouldn't know work if it bit you on the spot below your wallet.

That's good.

Want something, Clayton, or are you just here to annoy me?

I'm never this mean to him right off the bat.

Please, go on.

Well, as I understand it, you've had some difficulty with my proposal.

Oh, no, no, no.

No difficulty. I hated it.

Hated it?

For quoi?

I don't want to do this anymore.

Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.

I'm getting started here.

What are you feeling right now?

I don't like Clayton.

Clayton upsets me. I don't want Clayton here. I want to forget that Clayton

Endicott III ever existed.

Well, any more bright ideas?

Perhaps we should try an encounter in the nude.

Oh, for goodness sakes, hasn't a man been humiliated enough already?

Hello.

Mr. Lombardi again?

Okay, I'll be right there.

You'll have to excuse me, gentlemen.

There's a guy down the hall who thinks he's General MacArthur.

He just attacked three Filipino orderlies.

question before I go.

What is it, Clayton?

Why do you dislike me so?

Clayton, everybody dislikes you. You're a loser.

But people like you, though.

Don't they, Benson?

Love me.

I'm a winner, 100 % of the time.

Well, in my humble opinion, the tide is beginning to turn.

The legislature just shot down your college subsidy bill.

Say what?

And you know that woman down at the advertising agency you were so crazy

Yeah. She dumped you.

Vincent Dubois got dumped?

That's right. On the other hand, Clayton Endicott III just invested

heavily in a company.

Yeah. That won a lucrative government contract.

Yeah? Clayton Endicott III made a bundle.

Really?

How much did I make?

Clayton?

What?

Are you back?

How much did I make?

Clayton, you are back.

Back? What do you mean, back?

Where am I?

You're in a sanitarium, Clayton.

Sanitarium? Why? Have I been sick?

Oh, you could say that.

For two months, you misplaced your mind.

You thought you were me.

Oh, yes, I remember.

You're Mr.

Man of the Year, and I lost again.

No, no, no, no, Clayton. Now, wait a minute. I just told you about that.

don't always go right for me.

I'm not perfect, and you're not always a loser.

Come on, here.

Take your glasses. I don't suppose you would want this much. Well, forget it.

I want to know exactly how much I made to the penny.

Well, I didn't exactly tell you the truth about that.

Oh, no.

Come on now, don't slip away from me.

You mean everything you told me was a lie?

Well, just the part about you making a lot of money. Everything I told you

myself was true.

Yeah, but that woman you liked, she really did dump you? I'm afraid so.

Good. As long as Benson Dubois knows what it's like to be a loser, I can go

Benson, Benson, Benson.

Thanks to you, I'm back to my old self.

You coming?

No, no, no, no.

As long as I'm here, I might as well have my own head examined.