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Sorry we're late.
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Gotta go for a sex test.
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They tested me to see if the baby's a
boy or a girl. And?
4
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It's a girl.
5
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You gotta come see something I bought
all this.
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A girl, huh? That's terrific.
7
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Congratulations,
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Peter. Girl, you know, when Katie was
born, she was a girl.
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Pete, what is the meaning of this memo?
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Oh, yeah, it says you're going to go to
Florida.
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Florida? Why are you going to Florida?
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The governor is giving a commencement
address and Benson's receiving an
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degree.
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Benson's receiving an honorary degree?
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Benson's receiving an honorary degree.
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Let's throw an honorary degree on
Benson.
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My alma mater, Reynolds University, is
giving Benson an honorary degree, an
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honorary doctorate, as a matter of fact,
in economics.
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00:01:39,610 --> 00:01:41,490
So what do you think about that, Benson?
20
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Well, I think it's laughable.
21
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Is your name Benson?
22
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Are you going to do it, Benson?
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Sure, I'm going to do it. I'd be
honored. I just wish I'd known about it
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Hey, you made your point. Don't make a
federal case out of it.
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I don't know what's with him lately.
26
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But that's what I'm talking about. I
didn't receive any information.
27
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When is this trip to Florida? The 17th.
The 17th? I find that very short notice.
28
00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:11,470
Well, you're not going, Clayton. It's
just going to be myself and Benson, Pete
29
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and Denise.
30
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Denise is going to Florida, and I am
not. I am the chief of staff.
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Denise is Pete's wife, and she's
pregnant.
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Top death.
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00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:40,470
My fault, Governor. I told them one room
for two and two rooms for one. You
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should have followed up on it.
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Not that I mind sharing a room with
Benson, but it was your responsibility.
36
00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:48,149
Yes, sir.
37
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Little foul -ups lead to big foul -ups.
38
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Yes, sir. Oh, Pete, our room has a
beautiful view of the ocean. How about
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00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:59,530
Benson? Well, we can't see the ocean,
but I can see the seagulls circling the
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00:02:59,530 --> 00:03:00,530
garbage dump.
41
00:03:01,990 --> 00:03:05,610
Well, it's only a couple hours till
commencement, so I'm going to take a
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00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:11,230
Oh, did you want a shower, Benson? No,
go ahead.
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00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:13,090
Age before beauty.
44
00:03:15,450 --> 00:03:16,790
Boy, do I miss this town.
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00:03:17,410 --> 00:03:20,610
Listen, you two, I'd like to take a
little nap before we get ready.
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Oh, sure, Benson. Come on, Pete.
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Wait a minute.
48
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I think this is the exact same room that
Carol Liputsky announced her engagement
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in.
50
00:03:32,590 --> 00:03:33,710
Well, squeeze my knee.
51
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,510
Oh, look.
52
00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:54,970
This place is showing two John Wayne
classics.
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Oh, John's a quiet man.
54
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Hey, that's okay with me. I like John
Wayne.
55
00:04:00,430 --> 00:04:01,610
He has a cute walk.
56
00:04:01,890 --> 00:04:05,570
Yeah. They don't make men like John
Wayne anymore.
57
00:04:06,690 --> 00:04:08,130
Oh, good evening, ladies.
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They don't even come close.
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00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:19,240
another Friday night and everyone's
sitting at home.
60
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,480
Oh, we're not.
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00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,640
Katie and I are going to some movies.
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Really?
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00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:29,100
Yeah, I have an idea. We could all go
together. I'll treat.
64
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:33,140
Or you could go home alone and save
yourself a few bucks.
65
00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:38,100
Fine. I understand.
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00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:42,460
Let it not be said that I'm the sort of
person who forces himself on people.
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00:04:42,860 --> 00:04:46,060
Oh, I don't. All right, Clayton can come
too.
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00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:48,500
Great. I'll drive. Where are we going?
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The Route 29 drive -in.
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00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:52,420
A drive -in?
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00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:56,980
Yeah. I'll go change. Katie, you better
get a sweater. My car? We're going to a
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00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:58,940
drive -in and eat popcorn in my car?
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00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:01,500
Yeah. And hot dogs. And pizza.
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00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,280
And strawberry slushies. No, wait, wait,
wait.
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00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:09,240
You don't understand. I have an all
-white interior. I don't even wear shoes
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my car.
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00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:21,230
Dr. Dubois. Thank you very much, young
man.
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00:05:21,610 --> 00:05:24,850
There's no stopping an idea whose time
has come, huh? That's really something.
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00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:26,590
Dr. Benson Dubois.
80
00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:29,050
I'm proud of you, Benson.
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00:05:29,470 --> 00:05:30,970
I'm exhausted.
82
00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:33,650
All I want to do is hop on my PJs and
hit the side.
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00:05:34,050 --> 00:05:35,050
Yeah, me too.
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00:05:35,430 --> 00:05:36,690
Dr. Dubois.
85
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Dr. Dubois.
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Mr. Dr.
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Dubois.
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00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:48,350
How soon they forget.
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00:05:49,940 --> 00:05:50,940
What? Nothing.
90
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,320
Just a minute, Benson.
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00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,180
No, it's not me. It's the front door.
92
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,200
Can you get it? I got it.
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00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:58,880
Hey, Benson.
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00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,520
What is up, Pete?
95
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,600
Well, I thought you guys might want to
go out on the town.
96
00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:05,140
Come on, man. It'll be fun.
97
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,680
Just us guys hanging out. No, no, no.
The governor's getting ready for bed,
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00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:09,940
I'm beat. Who is it?
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00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:11,180
It's Pete.
100
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,680
You can't come in. I'm not dressed.
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00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,120
It's not Pete. It's the front door. I'll
get it.
102
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,130
Pete? Your wife, Denise.
103
00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:24,630
Why are you following me?
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00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:27,450
I'm not following you. I didn't know
where you went.
105
00:06:27,790 --> 00:06:28,830
Yeah, well, now you know.
106
00:06:29,370 --> 00:06:30,890
What is the matter with you, Pete?
107
00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:34,250
Nothing is the matter with me. I'm
feeling a little bit cooped up. What can
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say? How about good night?
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00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,370
Why don't we go back to the room and
watch some TV, huh?
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00:06:40,590 --> 00:06:44,090
Yeah, I'll be right there. I'm just
going to go downstairs and get a pack of
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cigarettes. You don't smoke.
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00:06:47,710 --> 00:06:49,210
Well, I'll get a pack of gum.
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I chew, don't I?
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Well, I'll go back to the room.
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00:06:58,510 --> 00:07:03,010
Oh, now don't worry, Denise. He'll
probably get downstairs and find out
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00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:04,410
fool he's been, come back and apologize.
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00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:06,670
Yeah, you're probably right.
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That's it.
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In case, I'll go back to the room and
explain it to her. Okay.
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00:07:26,020 --> 00:07:27,020
Oh,
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I thought there was somebody out here.
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There was.
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Pete and Denise.
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Did they leave?
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What about?
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I don't know. It's none of my business.
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00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:57,360
Well, don't bite my head off. I just
wondered if we could help. Yes, we can
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00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,500
help. We can go to sleep and then wake
up the first thing in the morning and
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00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,640
mind our own business.
130
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,420
Take me out to the...
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00:08:27,439 --> 00:08:34,280
I don't care if I never get my first
meal. Good, good for the
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heart.
133
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,280
I don't when it's a shame.
134
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,100
I guess you'd better sit down.
135
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,720
And now our national anthem.
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I guess you'd better stand up.
137
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:19,700
Calm down, Denise.
138
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,780
Small college town like this, nothing
ever happens to anybody.
139
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,460
Okay, thank you very much.
140
00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:29,320
The death clerk said that there are
about half a dozen joints out there
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00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,520
the college that stay open all night,
and I thought I'd go out and check them
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00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,540
out. I'll go with you. Well, maybe we
should all go.
143
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,740
No, no, you should stay here in case
Pete calls or comes back. Good idea.
144
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:39,800
I'll be in my room. Okay.
145
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:43,220
Okay, Benson, come on, come on. Let's
get going here. Shake a leg.
146
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:47,420
Come on, would you wait just a minute?
Do you mind if I get some clothes on?
147
00:10:49,580 --> 00:10:50,900
Didn't you get any sleep?
148
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:56,840
How could I get any sleep?
149
00:10:57,380 --> 00:11:00,780
You're saying take me out to the ball
game all night in old Canada.
150
00:11:01,580 --> 00:11:02,680
Was that me?
151
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,340
In my dream, it was Rosemary Clooney.
152
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:17,820
Oh, they just don't make movies like
that quiet man anymore, John Wayne.
153
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:21,920
some ice cream. Oh, sounds good to me.
154
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:25,240
Why don't we take it out to the parking
lot and eat it in my car?
155
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:31,320
Oh, Clayton, you're such a party pooper.
I have strawberry slushie all over my
156
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:32,320
tape deck.
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00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:36,120
This wouldn't have happened if you
hadn't grabbed my knee.
158
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:42,460
I was reaching for a napkin to wipe your
greasy fingerprints off my windshield.
159
00:11:42,980 --> 00:11:44,900
Well, I was trying to get that fly.
160
00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:46,960
Why? Didn't you have enough to eat?
161
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,600
Mark likes that, and you'll be picking
teeth out of your tonsils.
162
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,860
Why do you guys have to fight all the
time?
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00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:08,320
Ach, Liebchen, it's not just us. Men and
women have been fighting since Eve got
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00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:09,800
dumped on by Adam.
165
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,160
That's not the way it was.
166
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:17,980
So what are you, some kind of Bible
scholar?
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00:12:18,590 --> 00:12:22,990
As a matter of fact, I happen to be
fairly knowledgeable about the Bible, as
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00:12:22,990 --> 00:12:29,350
well as the Talmud and the Koran. Oh,
yeah, well, I got ten boxes. You can't
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00:12:29,350 --> 00:12:30,850
name the books of the Old Testament.
170
00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:36,430
Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers,
Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1
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00:12:36,430 --> 00:12:41,790
Samuel, 2 Samuel, 1 Kings, 2 Kings, 1
Chronicles, 2 Chronicles, Ezra,
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00:12:41,790 --> 00:12:43,110
Esther, Job, Psalm.
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00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,040
I want the bar next door.
174
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,960
No, no, no, no, no, no. We're looking
for a friend.
175
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:20,640
Aren't we all?
176
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:25,280
You don't understand. We're looking for
this guy because his wife is worried
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00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,280
sick about him.
178
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,520
That's a very righteous thing to do,
man.
179
00:13:28,820 --> 00:13:29,679
Thank you.
180
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:32,160
Anyway, the guy's about 30.
181
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,300
You guys are cops, right?
182
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,320
Oh, no, I'm a governor, and he's a
budget director.
183
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:43,680
Great line.
184
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,880
You guys must really score with the
chicks, huh?
185
00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:50,280
Oh, well, Benson does pretty well, but
I'm more of a homebody.
186
00:13:52,780 --> 00:13:57,000
Can we get back to the subject? This
guy's about... Listen, man, I think I
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00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,000
help you out. Stick around.
188
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:00,860
But right now, I gotta introduce the
show.
189
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,260
So if you dig jazz, you'll dig this.
190
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:08,130
You think this will take long, don't
you? No, that guy's got to be back in
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00:14:08,130 --> 00:14:09,130
coffin by sunrise.
192
00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:18,050
And now, the end -of -the -road
coffeehouse takes great pleasure in
193
00:14:18,050 --> 00:14:24,670
presenting the new poet laureate of the
saxophone and a real bad dude,
194
00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:26,070
Mr.
195
00:14:26,870 --> 00:14:28,310
Porkchop Downey.
196
00:14:32,230 --> 00:14:33,410
Porkchop Downey?
197
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,040
We better stick around.
198
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,400
Life is like the post office.
199
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:52,320
If you don't put in a change of address,
they mail it to somebody else.
200
00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:01,380
Postage due.
201
00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:23,140
The mailman wants to know.
202
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:39,860
Listen to those sounds, Spencer. Have
you ever heard anything like that?
203
00:15:40,860 --> 00:15:44,700
Yeah, one time when my nephew vacuumed a
parakeet out of his cage.
204
00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:07,470
This is a number he calls silence.
205
00:16:11,810 --> 00:16:13,370
So far, it's my favorite.
206
00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:19,350
Yes!
207
00:16:26,170 --> 00:16:27,170
Manson, Governor?
208
00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:29,310
What are you doing, Pete?
209
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:31,790
No, hey, Pete is gone. I'm porkchop.
210
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,200
I can't go back there, baby.
211
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:42,900
I'm not that guy anymore.
212
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:44,100
What guy?
213
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:48,060
What a guy with the wife and the suit
and the kid on the way.
214
00:16:48,740 --> 00:16:50,660
Well, what do you expect Denise to do?
215
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,760
I don't know.
216
00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,840
I love her, but... Hey, chop!
217
00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:59,500
You're a little tardy for the next set,
man. Oh, you'll be.
218
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:02,900
I'll catch you guys later, okay?
219
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,300
I think we'd better call Denise. I think
we'd better call a psychiatrist.
220
00:17:09,409 --> 00:17:10,409
Excuse me.
221
00:17:11,290 --> 00:17:12,630
Is there a phone somewhere?
222
00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:14,470
Yeah.
223
00:17:22,490 --> 00:17:24,650
Uh, could you tell me where it is?
224
00:17:26,230 --> 00:17:27,369
Go up the stairs.
225
00:17:27,710 --> 00:17:28,710
Out the door.
226
00:17:29,070 --> 00:17:30,070
Hang a left.
227
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,910
When you get to the end of the street,
take a right.
228
00:17:33,350 --> 00:17:36,490
Keep going straight till you get to the
roller rink.
229
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,190
Where it is.
230
00:17:38,410 --> 00:17:40,020
There. Got a phone.
231
00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:47,020
Thank you.
232
00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:51,600
Man, this guy's growing mold between his
ears.
233
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,420
Pete, God only knows where he is.
234
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,500
I'll go call Denise. You keep an eye on
Pete. No, wait a minute. You keep an eye
235
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:00,160
on Pete. I'll call Denise. I'll tell you
what.
236
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:01,920
Pick a number from one to ten.
237
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,380
Seven. You were so close.
238
00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:32,020
doing the breaststroke.
239
00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:34,800
No, I mean, what's he doing?
240
00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:36,420
Visual poetry.
241
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,480
He calls it birth of a sax man.
242
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:41,340
Come on, Denise.
243
00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:43,940
Besson, why don't you tell Pete that
Denise is here?
244
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,200
Pete?
245
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:48,840
Denise is here.
246
00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:50,200
I can't talk to her.
247
00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:52,940
Everybody out of the pool.
248
00:18:59,810 --> 00:19:03,350
Ladies and gentlemen, how about it for
Pete Porkchop Downey.
249
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:09,610
And now, Mr. Downey will attempt a very
difficult song.
250
00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:11,450
How to make up with your old lady.
251
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:21,410
Hi, Pete.
252
00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:22,790
Hey, ma 'am.
253
00:19:24,990 --> 00:19:27,450
Could you guys please leave us alone for
a minute?
254
00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:28,850
Yeah, I can do it.
255
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,460
How about you, Gunther? I think so.
256
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:35,380
What's going on here, Pete?
257
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,140
I'll tell you what's going on here.
258
00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:42,340
I woke up this morning. I realized I was
this close to buying a station wagon.
259
00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:46,860
I didn't know you wanted a station
wagon.
260
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,060
Yes, I'm scared.
261
00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:52,580
A family, a kid, it's a big
responsibility.
262
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,860
I've never been a father before. I don't
know if I can handle it. Well, you
263
00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:58,700
think you're the only one who's scared?
264
00:19:59,210 --> 00:20:00,370
never been a mother before.
265
00:20:01,170 --> 00:20:02,170
You're scared too?
266
00:20:02,790 --> 00:20:03,790
Sure.
267
00:20:04,530 --> 00:20:05,790
What the hell are we going to do?
268
00:20:08,870 --> 00:20:13,870
Well, we are going to do what parents
have done for thousands of years before
269
00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:15,790
us. We're going to muddle through.
270
00:20:16,510 --> 00:20:17,690
We're going to make mistakes.
271
00:20:17,910 --> 00:20:20,610
We'll feel inadequate. Sometimes we'll
feel totally lost.
272
00:20:21,670 --> 00:20:23,150
Hey, this isn't cheering me up.
273
00:20:24,650 --> 00:20:26,850
I didn't come here to cheer you up.
274
00:20:27,190 --> 00:20:29,460
I came here to take you. home.
275
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:31,600
Even after what I've done?
276
00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:34,560
Kate, I love you.
277
00:20:35,340 --> 00:20:37,940
Let's just chalk this up to temporary
insanity.
278
00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:41,520
I love you too, Denise.
279
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,400
Let's go home.
280
00:20:59,370 --> 00:21:01,050
Oh, I left all my money at the hotel.
281
00:21:01,350 --> 00:21:02,350
It's okay. I'll get it.
282
00:21:08,130 --> 00:21:09,390
I don't have any money either.
283
00:21:11,210 --> 00:21:12,570
Then we'll have to wash dishes.
284
00:21:15,050 --> 00:21:16,330
I don't think they do that here.
285
00:21:19,490 --> 00:21:20,790
What are we going to do, Benson?
286
00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:23,550
Maybe one of us could go up there and
recite poetry.
287
00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:26,510
Good idea. Go ahead.
288
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,740
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