Original subtitles

Yes,

sir. I'll give him the message as soon as he's out of conference.

Bye -bye.

Marcy, did you see the paper?

There's an article about Dan.

My Dan?

Well, it doesn't mention you, but I think it's the same fellow.

It's about a three -part news segment he produced.

Oh, that's right.

Did you see it? It was called sewage.

Everybody's fault.

Hey, Marcy, there's an article about your boyfriend in the paper.

Yeah, I know. Gretchen just brought it in to me. You see, Benson, I got there

first. The early bird gets the worm.

In this case, the early bird is the worm.

I forgot Dan worked in TV news.

Dan doesn't just work in the news. He produces the news.

I mean, he's the man responsible for all the news.

Well, this time we've been blaming it on the Russians.

Isn't he gorgeous?

He looks a little grainy to me.

Vincent's just jealous because he doesn't have somebody special.

Now, Gretchen, how can you say that after all we've been to each other?

What? I can't hide it any longer. When you're near, my pulse quickens, my palms

sweat, I feel faint, my feet itch. Oh, Gretchen, it's you that I love.

You're sick.

I knew it was one or the other.

I just don't know if I have time. Time to make a TV speech. Look at the latest

polls, sir.

Sit down, Benson.

Okay, 38 % approved of the governor's performance, 43 % disapproved. Oh, polls

don't mean anything.

Sir, it's not the 81 % who approve or disapprove that bother me. It's the

19%. They're undecided? No, sir, they don't know who you are.

Well, I think we should ask Benson.

Well, it wouldn't be fair to ask me, sir. I know who you are.

No, I mean about this fireside chat idea.

Depends on whether or not you have anything to say.

I would like to explain why there have been so many delays in finalizing that

state highways bill.

Now, that, if I may say so, sir, is a dangerously negative approach.

Perhaps it would be best to dwell on what you have accomplished rather than

you haven't. There's no problem. I'll write the speech. Peter, I'll write the

speech.

We'll write the speech.

I'll put it on the cue cards. All you have to do is sit there and read it off

the cards. Oh, don't bother with cue cards. I have a Cracker Jack memory.

Bet you can't name the seven dwarfs.

Happy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Grumpy, Bashful, Dopey, and Doctor.

Sir, what are you doing?

Naming the new cabinet.

Do I make the speech or not?

Well, let's vote on it. What do you say?

I say go ahead.

You don't have a vote.

They're not going to like that down at the NAACP.

I think Benson's right.

I have something to say.

Why don't I say it?

So, gentlemen, we'll have a fireside chat.

Well, Benson, don't let me disturb your work. I'm just going to wait in here for

Dan while I finish telling the crew how to set up the equipment for tomorrow's

speech. Okay.

Oh, Benson, don't you think it's destiny that Dan of all people was assigned to

produce the fireside chat?

Destiny?

Begging the governor to request him didn't hurt.

You think I did the wrong thing?

No, I think you did the right thing. Clayton and Pete are writing the speech.

Dan's just done a show on sewage. You should be right down his alley.

Why don't you look nice?

Dan's taking me out after he finishes.

Hey, you brought out the heavy artillery.

Must be going someplace special. Well, only the Renaissance room at the plaza.

He must mean business.

I really think he does.

I have a feeling tonight's the night.

You think he's going to pump the question?

Uh -huh.

Well, I hope it's a question you can live with.

Benson, I'm so excited.

Hello, Governor. Oh, excuse me. Am I interrupting something?

Oh, of course not.

Benson and I were just discussing marriage.

Oh, how wonderful.

Oh, well, I guess this just proves the polls are right. I am out of touch with

people, even those who are closest to me. I knew you two were good friends.

It won't be easy at first. I mean, some people won't want to rent to you.

Governor, Marcy and I aren't thinking about getting married.

Oh, I hope it isn't anything I said.

talking about Dan and me.

Oh, that is wonderful news.

Oh, I'm sure you and Dan will be very happy, too.

And don't worry, Benson, there'll be other girls.

Hi, Benson. Hi, Marcy. Hi, Daddy. Hi, honey.

Daddy, is it true that you're going to be on TV?

That's right. Tomorrow night at 7 .30.

Oh, too bad. I won't be able to watch you. Why not?

You're on against the Muppets.

Peter and I have finished your speech.

Oh, thank you, Clayton. Is it good? After all, this is for television.

Well, I don't know if it can possibly compare with the Dukes of Hazzard.

But it had its moment. Judge for yourself, sir.

I'll read it right now. It's always fun to find out what Pete and Clayton think,

I think.

Marcy, you'll be in charge of the cue cards tomorrow.

Security. I don't want any outsiders getting their hands on the governor's

speech. Oh, Benson, all the furniture in the living room has to be moved to the

sides to make space for the television cameras. Careful you don't hurt your

back.

If I called you shiftless, would you consider that a racial slur?

If I called you an ambulance, would you consider that an omen?

I consider this discussion closed.

Oh, Marcy, I just brought Dan a cup of coffee. That man of yours is terrific.

You're so lucky.

You should see the way he takes charge of that crew. When he snaps his fingers,

everybody jumps.

He is so, so... German?

Yes, a word.

He reminds me of my first boyfriend, Wolfgang.

I lived only for him.

But I thought he did not know I was alive.

It is hard to tell.

But then I noticed whenever he looked at me, there was a special little gleam in

his eye. Well, he invited me to dinner. There was candlelight, a chilled bottle

of Mosel, schnitzel for two, the works.

And then it happened, just as I had hoped it would.

He asked you to marry him?

No, he asked me to be the brakeman on his bobsled team.

We're almost through in there.

Marcy, you look great. Oh, that was the game plan.

Hi, Benson.

Hi, Dan. Oh, thank you for coordinating the setup. The guys really appreciate

it. My pleasure. And tell them before they leave, I'm counting the spoon.

Five minutes, Marcy. One minute more and you're in big trouble.

Um, Benson, Dan's supposed to bring me back here tonight to pick up my car.

But if my car happens to stay in the parking lot all night... I'll know

engaged.

I don't know what's the matter with me, Benson. I just can't memorize that

speech. Maybe it's not memorable.

I'm going to have to read it off the cue cards.

I think the problem is there's a little Clayton in it and a little Pete.

And not much of me.

In that case, if it goes badly, you've got someone to blame.

Then I'm having second thoughts about doing it live.

At least a tape you can edit.

And erase.

Yeah. Guess I better take one more look at the darn thing before I turn in.

Good night, Boston. Good night, Governor.

Good luck tomorrow.

Thank you.

Hello, Marcy.

Hi. Oh, what are you doing here at this hour?

I left my car keys in my desk.

I hope I didn't disturb you. No, no, no. I'm just going to bed. See you in the

morning. Good night.

Came back from your car, huh?

Yeah.

Well, you know how these things go.

You all right?

Oh, sure, sure. I'm fine.

Good night.

Good night, Marcy. See you in the morning. Yay.

Benson, you know what's wrong with me.

You don't know how to say goodnight and mean it.

I get scared.

You want me to walk you to your car?

I mean, when I meet a man and I really start to care about him, I get scared

that I'm going to lose him.

I'll get us some milk.

So what happens is that I begin to overcompensate. I hang on his every

I'm constantly telling him how wonderful he is, and I just can't bear to be near

him without touching him all the time.

So I spend all my time trying to be this ideal woman.

Well, that's not me.

That's not anybody.

Of course it isn't.

So eventually the man starts feeling trapped.

And then he does the next logical thing.

He dumps me.

I was so sure I wouldn't do this with Dan.

Because I knew he loved me.

I did it again.

I just couldn't let it be.

At least he wasn't like some of the other guys. At least he didn't just say,

long, Cookie.

He just suggested that we step back a little bit and evaluate our

Marcy, the guy's supporting two kids.

He's away on assignment a lot.

His first marriage was a bust.

He just thinks you should take these things into consideration before you get

too deep.

In other words, so long, Cookie.

Well, don't worry. I'll get over it.

Always do.

Thanks. Good night.

You were right. I hardly know you guys are here.

Hold it down, will you? I'm trying to listen to the director.

Hey, if you're the guy in the van blocking the driveway, you better get it

of there before I call the tow truck over and out.

You okay?

I'm fine. Why do you ask? Because you don't usually leave your wallet in the

refrigerator.

You know, I passed a McDonald's on my way to work this morning.

The sign said over 35 billion sold.

I can remember when it was just 6 billion.

The 29 billion burgers have passed over the counter in my lifetime.

You know how old that makes a person feel?

Marcy, all the guy said was that he thinks you should step back and see what

might be getting into.

Now, I know one thing I'm not getting into. A wedding dress.

Marcy, don't be ridiculous.

And I've heard it all before.

He's just trying to let me down easy.

Why don't you just hit yourself over the head with a Louisville slugger? It's

much faster.

Look, I know what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it, but trust me, I

a sixth sense when it comes to things like this.

Well, if that's your sixth sense that's been operating lately, I wouldn't give

you five cents for your sixth sense.

Just bit my tongue.

Clayton, here you have me saying I want to make one thing perfectly clear.

You don't like that?

Well, don't I want to make everything perfectly clear?

It's too risky, sir.

The chair is wrong.

What do you mean, wrong?

Wrong. Adjective. Not right. Mistaken. Incorrect. Unsuitable. Improper. It

stinks.

We could put him on a stool.

Wonderful. We can give him a guitar. He can sing folk songs.

Maybe it's not the chair.

I love the fireplace. That works. But you're right. There's something missing.

I've got it. A dog.

Oh, my God. I don't have a dog. No, it's no sweat. I've got connections at the

pound. You're not bringing a dog in here.

We're talking about the governor's image. We're talking about the

rug. No dogs.

All right, everybody.

Governor, if it's all right with you, we'll have a camera rehearsal as soon as

they're set in the remote truck. Hey, okay.

Oh, Benson, I want you to watch this. I'm going to try standing up in the

middle. You certainly wouldn't want to miss that.

Hello, Marcy.

Oh, hello, Dan.

Did you think about what we talked about last night?

I thought about nothing else.

Well, maybe after the speech we can go out and have a drink and talk about it.

What more is there to say?

Well, there's plenty to say.

Well, you see, I'm afraid I don't have the time. I'm awfully busy standing back

and evaluating our relationship.

What is that supposed to mean?

Marcy, the governor needs the cue cards.

Excuse me.

Governor,

we'll take it from where you say, good evening.

Good evening.

Marcy. Good evening.

Marcy, the cards.

Good evening.

Oh, I said that.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to talk to you.

As a matter of fact, I was surprised to learn the other day that 19 % of you

have the foggiest idea who I am.

You put that in?

He put that in. I'll take it out.

In my judgment...

There shouldn't be two E's in judgment.

Sir, if it's misspelled on the card, only you will see it. Well, I'm the one

has to read it.

I'll fix it right away, sir.

What are you so mad about?

You don't know? No, I don't.

How can you not know?

Marcy, can I take an E out before you leave?

I can't rehearse this stupid speech without my cue cards. I'll be in my

Sir. Clayton, you better get this thing organized.

Shape up or ship out.

Did you hear that?

Yeah. I liked it.

Sir.

Thirty seconds there, everybody. Okay, let's go, Clayton. Well, where are you

going? We're going to watch your speech on the TV in the next room, sir.

Good luck, sir.

Ten seconds, everybody.

Okay, here we go. In five, four...

Three seconds, two... Good

evening.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to talk to you.

When I first took office, the legislative body of this state was

a priority package of progressive programs.

In my judgment, it's high time I told you in what direction this

is headed.

He's getting my pencil.

Is it too late to get the dog?

What good would a dog do now?

He could fetch the pencil.

I like to think of these as people programs.

For it is the people... What do you mean, stand back and evaluate our

relationship?

Can't this wait? We're live.

Fine! I'll put my life on hold.

By the people and for...

I'm more worried about the picture. His lips aren't moving.

People.

We've come up with some far -reaching ideas.

What are you doing? You're making a fool out of yourself.

I made a fool out of myself last night.

And new job.

We can turn this situation around.

And so I feel that I can look you straight in the eye.

have made good on a major campaign promise. I predict that there will be a

in the purchase and construction of private homes now that the prime

rate is beginning to stabilize.

Because of technical difficulties, well, the fact

is... If the picture that you're receiving seems to be a little confused,

is a very good, very easily explained reason for it. You see, I have been

reading my speech off cue cards, in spite of the fact that I have a Cracker

memory.

And, well, the truth is, the cue cards have fallen.

Do you have a copy of the speech? Right here.

Well, get in there and cue him.

Me? Peter.

Forget it.

Come on, the governor's going down for the third time, and you guys are playing

Tweedledum and Tweedledummer. Give me that.

Now, my executive secretary, Marcy Hill, who incidentally has been dating Dan

Slater, who is the producer of this telecast, she was holding the cards, and

somehow they slipped from her hands.

And she is down on the floor now with Dan, trying to pick them up.

You have a few moments if you want to switch channels and watch the Muppets.

In my judgment, we can expect a significant rise in the standard of

What's that?

In my judgment, we can expect a significant rise in the standard of

living. Oh, that is good news.

And Benson says that we can expect a significant rise in the standard of

I totally agree with that.

It's in speech time.

Oh, oh, oh, let me see that.

Benson, get up.

You look silly.

Stop, stop, stop.

You know, he's right. I do say that. that there'll be a rise in the standard

living. Oh, and notice the way judgment is spelled correctly.

Here it is.

That's the right way.

This is Benson.

I absolutely could not do without him.

Oh,

thank you very much, Benson. I think I'm going to get them now.

See if I can find my place.

Standard of living, we did that.

What are we going to do about this?

I don't know what you're going to do. I'm going to resign, move to Venezuela,

and teach Dickens to the Indians.

Oh, I don't know. I don't think any of this is much use to us from now.

I've lost track of what I was saying, and I think probably you have, too.

Why don't I just say what's on my mind?

I've got nothing to worry about.

I figure as long as you're moving to Venezuela, I'll just blame it on you.

I think what just happened can perhaps tell you more about the problems I face

than any written speech could.

I am constantly having to deal with unexpected problems.

For example, you remember my state highways bill.

Well, you should, because in my campaign I promised all up and down the state

that I would push it through.

I haven't.

It's still locked in committee, and I'm just as angry about it as you are. That

doesn't mean we're not going to get it.

If you recall, my rent control bill was sidetracked last year in exactly the

same way, and we pushed that through. I say we because I certainly couldn't have

done it alone.

Now what we've got to do is hang in there on this highways bill and get the

legislature off its butt.

This is a good state, but we can make it better.

I guess that's really all I wanted to say.

Thanks for tuning in. Good night.

We're clear.

And we're off the air.

Yeah, but are we still in office?

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I would love to know who is responsible for this

debacle. Yeah, we want to know who's responsible for this.

What was that word again?

I'm afraid it was my fault, sir. No, no, no. It was more my fault than it was

yours. Marcy, I'm not concerned with whose fault it was.

But I ruined your speech.

Oh, nonsense.

I don't think it went badly. Do you, Benson?

No, sir.

Badly isn't the word I'd use.

Peter, we'd better call the TV station and see exactly how badly this speech

go.

Well, I just feel terrible.

I mean, I was so self -involved that I messed up all the cue cards.

And then Dan said something and made me drop them all together.

What did you say?

I said yes.

In answer to what question?

I asked him to marry me and he said yes.

He said yes.

Thank God.

I feel almost like crying.

You should have heard your speech, sir.

Thank you, Benson.

Sir, while we're waiting for some reaction, perhaps it would be a good

get a statement out about this disaster.

Well, it isn't a disaster. It's just two people in love.

I meant the speech, sir.

Don't worry about your speech, Clayton. I covered for you just fine.

So, have you set a date?

No, not yet.

Is tomorrow too soon? Slow down, Maple.

You're right.

There's plenty of time to decide where and when.

Where? Where what?

Where should we get married?

I don't know. How's City Hall?

Cold and dreary.

Why don't you get married here in the mansion?

Oh, I'd love that.

What do you say, Dad?

Oh, that'd be wonderful. Thank you.

Clayton and I have an announcement to make.

Don't tell me it's going to be a double wedding.

Sir, our early feedback indicates the speech was a huge success. Twenty -two

the calls were favorable.

Three were so -so, and two people were kind of surprised to find that Ben

worked for you.

Isn't it beautiful?

Yeah, but it's not very big.

It is for an engagement ring.

I love it, Marcy.

It looks almost real.

It is real, Katie.

That's why it's so small.

Morning. Morning, Benjamin.

Marcy, you're here early.

Well, that's because I have something I want everybody to see.

Notice anything different about me?

Your hat?

She's wearing a hat.

It can't be that.

Look what Dan gave me last night.

Oh, Marcy, that's beautiful.

Isn't it? When I get engaged, I want to ring exactly like that.

Only bigger.

Do you know anything about diamonds?

Yeah, my uncle was a diamond cutter. He was?

Yeah, he cut the grass at Yankee Stadium.