Original subtitles

Thank you, Big Ben.

Spencer, what in the world are you doing up? You know what time it is?

It's 2 .35!

Cross is having a little trouble sleeping.

Well, I'm not. I just typed an entire letter with my eyes closed.

I don't know if we're ever going to finish this budget by the morning.

You want a sandwich?

No, thanks, Marcy. I'm going to finish this milk and go straight to bed.

So did you figure out a way how to cut 8 % out of the household budget?

I had a sure fire away, but Krause wouldn't quit.

How do you expect me to get to sleep?

Try closing the lid on your bed.

Peter, you cannot take staff cars away from government employees. How would

get any work done? They don't work in their cars. And they don't work in their

offices either.

Do you mind, Benton?

Besides, they could take the bus.

That's a good idea.

It's great PR.

Think of the headline.

Public employees on public transportation.

And what would you do for people at my level?

Build a subway.

There's not a thing to eat in there.

Well, Benson, this hardly reflects well on your management skills.

There's nothing in the cupboard either. And there won't be until Krause goes to

the market in the morning.

Shut up!

definition of dressed to kill.

I'm sorry we woke you up, Miss Cross. There doesn't seem to be anything to

And whose fault is that?

I didn't cut the food budget.

If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

What if you can't stand the cook?

There's no way I can keep working without something to eat. Well, what do

want me to do about it? All right, all right. We're all a little irritable.

from not getting any sleep.

From not having anything to eat? It's from not getting any sleep.

And now I'm quite awake, and I'm hungry.

This would be a bad time to tease her.

I've got an idea. Why don't we send out for something?

They have sandwiches at that 24 -hour store, San Speedy Mart.

Good idea. Don't be long, Benson. We have to get back to work. You talking to

me? I'll have a container of cottage cheese and a small milk.

She talking to me?

All this dough.

Yeah, give me a couple of burritos, a submarine sandwich, a package of donuts,

and a six -pack of the diet cola.

I ain't going.

You don't mind, do you, Benson? I really can't spare anybody from the budget

meeting. What do you have, Clayton? Very lean roast beef on white bread with a

crust trimmed Boston lettuce, beefsteak tomatoes, and gray Poupon mustard.

Why don't I just get you a gift certificate?

Hello?

Just a minute.

Pete, it's for you. It's your soon -to -be ex -wife calling collect.

Yeah, what else?

Uh, yeah, operator will accept the charges.

You'll accept the charges.

Yeah, Jimmy, why are you calling me at 2 .30 in the morning?

It's 6 .30.

What are you doing in Tahiti?

What do you mean you want me to send a support check there?

Yeah, okay, give me the address.

Yeah, care of.

Johnny Pooka.

General Delivery Bora Bora.

Yeah, I'll have the check off in the morning.

How about that? She's leaving me for a man in a grass skirt.

Just what my stomach needed.

Oh, you better get me a quart of vanilla ice cream, too.

I don't know why I ever got married.

You needed a date for the prom.

Back to that budget. Here, Lippmann. You can take that off. So what do you want?

Oh! I completely forgot about myself.

It's not always the way. I remember when I was captain of the softball team and

I was supposed to assign everybody's position. So I gave them all out. When

took the field, I was the only one left on the bench.

I wanted to play second base.

I mean to eat.

Oh, oh.

I haven't had a fried egg sandwich in a long time.

One fried egg sandwich. It was the last time I had one. It stained my tie.

Oh, you better make it something that's not so runny.

I know.

Grilled cheese.

One non -runny grilled cheese.

Make sure they squish the bread.

Squish? Yeah, yeah. Squish.

How's she decided yet?

Well, I don't know what they have.

Well, why don't you ride down with Benson and then make up your mind when

get there? Well, here, Kraus, since you're going down there anyway, why

you pick up your stuff?

I don't like to go out at night alone.

What's the matter? Are you afraid the villagers will chase you with Kraus?

I'll be ready as soon as I put on my face.

She's got another face. Why has she been using that one?

You didn't talk to me all the way over here.

You're the one who wanted to ride in the back seat.

I might as well have been the spare tire.

I wish I'd have thought of that, then you could have rode in the trunk.

Hey, where are you going? I need something.

That's not on the list. I forgot. It's at the drugstore yesterday. I'll pay you

back tomorrow.

I don't know if I have enough money. What is it, anyway?

Vanishing clean.

My treat.

Do you have sandwiches?

Do you really?

burgers, chili, pizza, and Stan's health sandwich.

What's in the health sandwich?

None of the above.

I hate to tell you, lady, but that sandwich isn't fit for human

Perfect. Give it to her.

Benson, I think we better go somewhere else.

Oh, Cross, I don't want to spend all night getting this food. I want to get

and get to bed.

Don't even think it.

Let's see. Now, you don't have a grilled cheese.

Give me a cheese pizza and squish it.

No roast beef. Give me a hot dog.

I don't suppose that comes with a gray poupon mustard.

You don't need it. The hot dog's gray.

Pete ordered, uh, give him one of everything.

You got any diet soda?

Uh, yeah, over in the corner.

You want me to ring that up?

Don't be silly. I don't read this trash.

Okay, everybody.

Let me guess. It's another sticker, right?

Hey, you shut up. Start stuffing money into a bag.

All right, move out of the way, lady. Don't touch me, you creep.

Don't make me shoot you.

No, Benson.

Go try it, Benson.

This is a dollar three down the street. Excuse me. Hey, white guy. Come on over

there, the pretty lady. Where?

Move, move.

This is $38.

Look around, Willard.

Better have some money in that purse, gorgeous.

We'll die first.

Give me that purse, woman.

Very smart, Benson.

Then why don't you give him your wallet?

Gee, why didn't I think it is?

Hey, look!

A safe! Don't touch the dial! It's... Hooked up to the alarm. Now the cops are

on their way. How long? Twenty minutes. The station's next door.

You're not going anywhere.

We are making a citizen's arrest.

You looking to die, lady? Gentlemen, gentlemen, please.

Cross, I hate to remind you, but you're not a citizen.

I suppose this means we'll be seeing more of each other.

What were we talking about? Who?

Me?

Short naps are great.

You were saying we can't get the money for the library.

That's right. There's no way we can get that money.

I could get the money.

It would be wrong, but I could get it.

I'm not getting anything done here.

You know, I gave up a date for this.

I was all packed and everything.

Please, spare us the seamy details of your personal life.

Clayton, it's late. I'm very tired. I have a headache. My left foot's asleep

my mouth feels like an ashtray. So kiss off.

Come on, you guys. Let's get back to the libraries.

I've made up my mind.

Yes, Governor.

I'm going to go with my intuition.

I will have that fried egg sandwich.

Watch me see if you can get Benson on the telephone.

Send out your prisoners, then throw out your guns and give yourselves up.

Now you're going to get it. They have this place surrounded, so only way you

could escape now would be to kill everybody.

Krauss, let them come up with their own plan.

We're not going to have to kill anybody, are we, Kurt? How should I know?

Oh, the cops will make a deal with us. No deals.

You either walk out or they carry you out.

Do us all a big favor. Gag her.

Okay, in there.

You ready to give up?

We want to make a deal.

No deals.

Looks like the cops don't care what happens to you.

Wait a minute.

All they can get you for now is armed robbery. How many years is that?

Seven to ten. You'll be out on the street in 18 months.

And I will hunt you down like a dog.

We're not going to jail.

The police are going to make a deal.

Why? We're not important.

He's right.

Why should the cops care what happens to them?

They got nothing to bargain with.

So why don't you let us all go home?

Hey!

Hello?

Vincent's here. He's busy right now.

Is that for me? Some guy says you work for him.

Hey, look, bozo, you want a fried egg sandwich, you make it yourself.

You can't talk to him like that.

Krause, shut up. Do you realize you are speaking to the governor of the state?

You two work for the governor?

Nice going, Krause. You just gave him something to bargain with.

They want that in unmarked old bills.

Don't worry, Governor. We're okay.

What?

It's enough.

You could have just told me my three minutes were up.

Get over that with the others. Move! Move!

Kurt, you think they're really going to give us the helicopter?

No harm in asking.

Don't worry. We'll settle for a car full of gas as long as they give us the $100

,000. But we are not afraid of you, you know.

Krause here is a lot like me. She don't take anything off of anybody.

She's her own man.

I'm a woman, you jerk.

I think he's trying to compliment you. I know you're a woman, and a very

attractive woman.

On the other hand, maybe he's just insane.

Who knows? Things are different.

We might just get it together.

I wouldn't get it within ten feet of you.

You're in no position to bargain.

The buggers are done.

A Kurt Gingrich is a three -time loser wanted in six states.

Will a Turk escape from West Coast mental institution?

The FBI advises approach with caution.

The only thing we can get on this black guy Benson is that he served in Korea.

Benson's one of our people.

Will you vouch for that, Governor? Oh, yes, of course.

Must have been a clerical error.

So what exactly are you advising, Captain?

Well, standard operating procedure is to wait him out. We have been waiting for

five hours.

What do you want me to do, storm the place?

No, of course not. Oh, I'd love to.

Just give me the word, Governor, and we'll go in there and get your people.

I'll give you my personal guarantee we'll get at least half of them out.

We're talking about three human beings.

You expect us to settle for one and a half?

Now, look, Miss Hill, I happen to be a professional.

Now, we may have to lose one of your help, but when you're dealing with

people... What are you talking about, you pompous moron?

They're our friends.

Sweetheart, please, this is a man's job.

Oh, you're going to send out for somebody?

Marcy, please.

See, we're all a little edgy.

Benson and Krause are more than our co -workers. They're, well, they're family.

I know we can't just give in to these criminals, but before we take any action

that might endanger their lives, I want every other possibility exhausted.

Now, you can understand that, can't you?

Yeah, I suppose.

This country has gone to hell since John Wayne died.

I've been robbed 39 times.

No problems.

But the minute government people get involved, I got a major incident.

I should have never left the seminary.

Church, what's taking them so long? We've been here for almost eight hours.

Give them one more hour till noon, then I start throwing out bodies.

You are nothing but a vicious criminal.

And I suggest you keep that in mind, Krause. Come on, lady.

Let's be nice to each other, huh?

I don't want to have anything to do with you.

Hey, lady, you should be flattered. I wouldn't exactly call you a ten.

Do you plan to stand there and let him humiliate me? My plan is to get us both

out of here alive.

In fact, you'd have to dress up to be a two.

There goes my plan.

One of the policemen went out for some sandwiches. You want one?

I don't feel like eating.

Me neither.

Oh, I didn't expect to find anybody in here.

Daddy, have you heard anything?

Nothing definite, sweetheart.

Daddy, they're not going to die, are they?

Honey, it's bad, but this is no time to give up hoping.

Governor, what happens if those men... Marcy, I've got to believe that

everything will be all right.

Daddy, I can't imagine this place without Benson and Miss Krause.

None of us can, honey.

Believe me, sweetheart, we're going to do everything we possibly can.

Everything.

Uh, Marcy?

Uh, Katie, why don't you and I go upstairs, okay?

Don't worry, Daddy.

I believe in you.

Come on, Dad.

What is it?

They just called, sir.

They want to take Benson and Krause with them. They say they'll release them

when they cross the border. No, we can't let them do that. There are other

options, Governor. I know.

I know, Captain McDermott.

How much time do we have?

Fifteen minutes.

I have sixteen.

I'll need some lead time to prepare my men.

Give me five minutes, gentlemen, to think it over. We'll be in your office,

That's five minutes, Governor. No more.

Right.

Hey, you.

Two more beers.

Coming up.

I'm sorry, Benson.

It's my fault.

We are going to die.

Well, I sure hope they untie us first.

I'd hate to have to do eternity with you.

Please, Benson, in these last few minutes, can't we just shake hands and

friends?

Krause, if we try to shake hands now, we'll break something.

Besides...

We're friends.

I'm so afraid, Benson.

They will kill us.

No, no.

I don't think they're going to kill us.

But you have to cooperate.

Yeah, easy for you to say.

If that pig tried to kiss you, would you cooperate?

Yeah, I'd kiss him.

But I wouldn't mean it.

Nice of you to call.

Everything all arranged?

Of course they're okay.

Yeah, yeah. Hang on a second.

Governor wants to hear you're okay.

Come here.

Don't tie up that phone all day. This is a business, you know.

Yeah, yeah. This is Benson.

Benson, how are you? I've been better.

Is anybody else listening?

Not really.

Listen, Benson.

I've had to make a very difficult decision.

In exactly three minutes, the police SWAT team is coming in.

This is no laughing matter, Benson. They'll be carrying shotguns and

weapons. No, no, no, no. They're very nice guys. Real gentlemen.

And listen, Benson, if they start shooting at you, try to get out of the

Yeah, Krause is fine, too.

Oh, and Benson, one other thing.

It'll be very helpful if you can create a diversion.

Oh, you have a nice day, too.

That's enough. Get away from the phone.

Okay, Governor, you know they're okay.

You've got five minutes to pull back the cops.

Hey, Kirk, come over here a minute. What's going on?

Krause, the Governor wants to bring in a SWAT team. We've got to create a

diversion. We will all be killed.

No, no, no, no. I've got an idea. You have to use your womanly wiles.

My womanly wiles?

You know.

Get us untied. Be nice to Kirk.

I can't do that. I'm so afraid.

I'm not as brave as I've been pretending.

Nobody's as brave as you've been pretending.

You think I'm a coward, don't you?

Gretchen, it's all right to be afraid, but this is something you've got to do.

Our lives depend on it.

Be nice.

Okay, car's here.

Be happy to know in about a half hour we'll be on our way.

Um, say, um, Kurt?

Would you like to split a yogurt?

What?

I mean, um, I was just thinking.

How nice if we could fit together in the car.

He'll never buy it.

Really? He bought it.

We still have some time.

If you come over here and untie me, we can...

Why are you talking my language?

What made you...

Change your mind, anyway. Well, actually, I have felt this way from the

moment you walked in. But you know how we Germans are.

So afraid to show our emotions.

Shall we dance?

There's no music.

Strangers in the night.

You weren't so bad yourself.

Then I had this brilliant idea to dance him around.

All Benson had to do was take away the gun.

Wow.

What was the most horrible part, Benson?

Right at the end.

Benson!

Morning. Well, Katie, you'll miss your bath, honey.

I'm on my way.

Bye.

Marcy, let's take our coffee back inside and get to that budget.

That budget hasn't been balanced since the Civil War, and we have to do it

before lunch.

Oh, Benson, could you come up a little later? I want to talk to you about the

drapes in the governor's office.

Okay, Marcy. Thanks.

Did you see that, Benson?

A few minutes ago, we were the conquering heroes. Now it's come up and

about the drapes.

Perhaps we had our moment of glory.

Isn't that enough for you?

Well, at least we made some morning paper.

We did?

What does it say?

Three held by gunmen.

During an attempted robbery at Stand Speedy Mart, two armed robbers held

local citizens at gunpoint for nine and a half hours.

Held were Stanley Nakagama, owner of the store, Gretchen Krause of the

governor's personal staff, and an unidentified black man.